Silent Lies - Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Adrian takes me home last, for some reason. But then I realize it's so he can talk to me alone with no one else around.
Of course.
"Liv..." I can't stand the sadness in his tone, like he's figured everything out. "Your neck..."
I hate myself for messing up that badly. I was sweating after the skating rink, needed my hair out of the way and stupidly pulled my hair into a ponytail-displaying the bruises and marks around my neck to everyone. Now all of them have kept giving me sympathetic looks making me wanna crawl into a hole and never come out again.
"If someone's..." He pauses, rethinking what to say and I wish he would just pull in front of my house already so I could get out and not have to have this conversation. "I know we still hardly know each other but Liv, if someone's hurting you...it's not if there is someone-" I cut him off with a shake of my head.
The car goes silent, only for a few minutes though. I can see him glancing at me every few seconds, I don't dare look at him though with the tears in my eyes threatening to spill.
"Liv, someone is hurting you. I don't know who." My dad. "But I just want to help." It'd help if you'd stop talking about it. "I know how hard it is, I do."
The last thing he says catches me off guard and I wonder what he means. How would he know? Has he dealt with abuse too.? Oh god. I swallow the lump forming in my throat. It's been just some weeks since he's started talking to me and he already practically knows what happens to me at home-I won't admit he's right though. It would make sense how quickly he's figured it out...
You've also been horrible with hiding the truth lately.
He pulls in front of the house and I've never been more thankful. I can't even remember the last time I was happy to see this house. Though what he said plays over and over in my head, I know how hard it is.
He pulls out the bag from the small bookstore we went to that I had completely forgotten about. I sigh and shake my head at him as he hands me the book I had been looking at. When his hand found its way to my lower back and he was way too close for comfort-it's weird I didn't completely hate it though at the store.
I do the sign for thank you over and over, truly thankful for the book he brought me-also remembering he brought my favorite book which makes me happy. I can't wait for him to read it now.
"There's no need to thank me Liv." I smile at him and get one back. I'm thankful to see dads not home, but I still sigh-not wanting to go home yet even if I want away from Adrian and his questions or what he knows. Today was really good apart from a few things. He notices my hesitation on going home, and I continue to curse at myself in my head for being so lazy at hiding everything anymore. "You can always talk to me, okay?"
I nod, signing thank you once again and he just smiles. I grab my bag, and the book now, taking my seatbelt off then getting out of his car. I look back a million times until I'm finally at the door. I wave goodbye and he does the same, I walk in after unlocking the door and see him finally driving off.
I sigh once I shut the door, not knowing what to do. Not just with Adrian, and Divine, seeming to know everything exactly as it is. All I have to do is deny it and I'll be fine, I think. But with dad being so easy lately I haven't had to make food for him lately as he comes home before me usually anymore with some takeout-tormenting me with how good it always smells.
Do I make him food today? My luck I won't and it'll be a day when he expects food, then I haven't made it and everything will go back to the normal-being beat. But if I do and he brings food home how would he react? He should be thankful I would even make food for him in the first place but he's so sadistic, who knows.
I decide my best bet is going to my room and locking myself in so he can't do anything. I sigh and collapse onto my bed as usual, my body still being a bit sore from the fall at the skating rink and whatever the hell yesterday was.
I sit, slumped actually, against the wall on the bathroom floor. I look at the stupid blade sitting next to my thigh as my legs stretch out in front of me.
Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic.
Shut up.
It's just 3am. I passed out as soon as I collapsed on my bed after getting home yesterday, causing me to wake up early. I've been up since 2am, thanks to a nightmare and the usual panic attack that follows. Then it led to this...
I pick myself up off the ground, wiping my tears stained cheeks and then grab some clothes for a shower. I take a shower, brush my hair and teeth, put on the makeup to cover bruises-all the usual boring details.
Finally, I check my phone. Divine texted about homework, Adrian also texted a few times throughout the night-seeming worried as hours passed in between each text and I still hadn't answered. Shit.
I'm thankful dad didn't come into my room last night somehow and add anymore bruises-another easy day which just causes me more worry. I mean, the day before yesterday wasn't easy with the bruises now around my neck but still, it's been too easy lately.
I text back both Divine and Adrian with some excuses. 'Got distracted with dad.' 'Fell asleep quickly after getting home.' Well, the second isn't at all a lie at least.
I'm taking my time with getting ready for school, not wanting to go again. Literally just two days before the weekend but it feels like an eternity by then. But then I'll have to worry about dad having more of a chance to hurt me.
Just as I'm tying my shoelaces, my phone dings-Adrian texted.
It's okay! You wanna ride to school?
Adrian, 4:58am
I hesitate for a minute on the answer. It would be nice for a ride to school, really, but what if dad wakes up? He's been easy lately so I wanna take the risk, but I know when I do I'll regret it so badly. But, fuck it-I say yes.
Then, an hour or so later Adrian texts again saying he's on his way. I go downstairs, dad's bedroom door still shut but I can't tell if he's up or not. I really fucking hope not. I open the door and walk outside-it's weird not walking to school and being able to just sit here when the suns just finally comes out.
I sit down on the porch steps, my leg bouncing up and down wishing Adrian would drive faster. Especially when I hear the front door open-dad.
Fuck me.
Not literally.
But still. Fuck me.
"Aren't you supposed to be walking to school?" I hear his keys clash together as he walks down the steps and around me like I'm nothing. I gulp when I see Adrian of course now get here. "Ha. Your boyfriends, hmm?" Yes, plural, in fact dad I have more than those three in the car.
God I wish I could say that without getting myself a beating.
I get up and try to walk away bravely, as though I'm not terrified he's going to say or do something. To my surprise, though, he doesn't say or do anything at all. No goodbye or wave or a hit if he were to do something. I can't tell if him actually doing something in front of them to hurt me hurts worse than not even getting a wave though.
I miss when he'd drive me to school, hug me tightly, kiss my forehead, tell me to have a great day, then wave goodbye. I miss it so much.
I put on my seatbelt once I'm in the car, Adrian starting to drive off. But it's completely quiet and I hope they can't sense my fear from dad and how I now feel like crying but I don't let myself.
It stays quiet until Ashton finally speaks up. "Divine said her mom was driving her to school." I'm happy to hear they asked if she wanted a ride too.
By the time we walk into school the bells already ringing unfortunately. Ashton walks with me to first block, not caring about the stares from some of Lexi's friends as he sits with me.
He's quiet throughout all of class, staring off into nothing in particular, which is no surprise. The bell rings after another boring lesson of math im never going to use in my life again-unless I become a fucking mathematician or some shit, which I seriously don't plan to do.
"Bye Liv," Ashton says and I smile, waving goodbye as I walk to art.
Mrs. Scarlett is happy to see me as usual, probably also after skipping again. "How're you so far today, Olivia?"
I give a thumbs up, a very convincing one this time as she seems to really believe it. I point to her to ask the same question, she knows my gestures enough by now to understand. "Oh, I'm great today." She groans when the last bell rings, signaling to start class.
She goes through the lesson for today-some more stuff about shading and proportions, stuff I don't really pay attention to as I just sketch the most random shit as usual. Mrs. Scarlett isn't able to sit and talk to me like she wants to as she has to go around the classroom and help a bunch of people.
She stops me as everyone else walks out of class, and I wish I had rushed out of class. "Your black eye...how's it healing? It's becoming a little less visible now." I sigh, it's still hard to cover it up but it's getting slightly better-barely though. I just shrug, wanting to go before the conversation turns into more. "See ya tomorrow?" I nod, thankful she doesn't say more about it and leave to go to lunch.
I'm minding my business as I pass by people, just trying to get to lunch. Until someone grips my wrist tightly making me wince, the cuts burning.
I turn and I'm not even surprised, it's Lexi. "Seriously? You have your own friend. I know you're probably really lonely and depressed but that doesn't mean steal my friends." I mean she's not wrong, but damn.
And I never even tried to be friends with them-Adrian, Ashton, and Danny-what's her problem. They started talking to me.
I try to pull my wrist away but her grip is so tight and tears well up in my eyes when I feel the cuts burning worse-some have opened again and the blood is going to start seeping through my hoodie sleeves soon. Fuck.
"Stop fucking talking to them, okay?" I smirk, blinking away the tears when I see Adrian walking up towards us. The halls are thankfully empty now-everyone in class or getting lunch.
"What the fuck, Lexi?" He tries to push her away from me, gently to not cause anymore drama than there is, but she stays gripping my wrist so hard I know there will be a bruise. "The fuck is your problem?"
"Her, and...you." Her voice cracks like she's actually going to cry and the burning sensation at my wrists just gets worse. "How can you possibly stand being around her?"
I wanna laugh, but also cry when I feel more and more blood seeping through. But then she immediately pulls away from my wrist and I see the blood on her fingers. I feel my face pale and I just want to run away but I'm frozen, seeing Adrian's face of just worry and Lexi's full of disgust.
"See? You seriously like that? Have a stupid crush on...her?" Crush? "She fucking cuts herself, an attention seeker, and you hang out with her? Of all people? And not me?"
I finally am able to pull myself together and walk away from Lexi's stupid rant, rushing to the nearest restroom as the tears finally fall. I can hear Adrian's faint voice practically yelling at her, then I hear quick footsteps after me.
Adrian's following me into the girls restroom not even caring-thankfully no one else is in here. I don't even care to pull my sleeves up in front of him, he knows about it now so why hide it?
Then why hide the abuse too when it's obvious he's figured that out also?
Not the point.
It burns more when I bring my wrist under the tap, turning on the water to wash away all the blood. Adrian's quiet, not knowing what to do. He grabs some paper towels from the thing when I turn it off, but blood still flows. Lexi only made the cuts worse.
He grabs my wrist, super gently, and presses the paper towels to it to dry them-but the blood soaks it. He holds a paper towel to my wrist until it stops, I avoid his eyes as tears still fall down my cheeks continuously.
"Lexi's such a bitch, think she's all that just because she's peaked in high school." I laugh, thankful to have him of all people think the same as me. "Me and her were never really even real friends. I tried to be friends with her but then I saw how she really was. Literally no matter what I say or do, she still comes around claiming we're best friends when we're the furthest from that."
Any doubts about Adrian from before doing this, messing with me for Lexi or with her, have completely disappeared now as he says all this. And because he's seeing me so vulnerable right now, being so nice to me still.
"Don't listen to her. And I know it's probably hard but seriously, she's nothing special herself. Especially not when she gets off on making people feel like shit."
His fingers go under my chin, making me look up at him. He wipes away the few tears that still fall, and I actually smile seeing his eyes so softened now. I look away, taking my wrist away that's finally stopped bleeding. I pull down my sleeve and turn the water back on, trying to wash the blood out but half my sleeve just ends up soaked and will be uncomfortable to wear.
"Here, just take my hoodie." I go to shake my head but he's already taking it off, handing it to me. I shake my head then but he still pushes it to me. Finally, I accept it.
I motion for him to turn away from me and he does so. I only have my bra on underneath this hoodie, which means he'd be able to see my ribs and how bruised they still are. No thank you. Even if they weren't bruised, I don't want him seeing me in just a bra.
I adjust the bandages around my ribs then quickly put on his hoodie. It's so comfortable, a bit big but that makes it even better. I tap his shoulder to say it's okay to turn back around as I start folding up my hoodie to stuff in my bag.
I walk out of the bathroom before him, lunch started like 20 minutes ago now so it'll be over in just a few. He follows behind me and doesn't say anything about what had happened thankfully-I don't really wanna talk about it. He always knows when I don't want to talk about things and respects that.
Divine, Danny, and Ashton look surprised by the time we walk in to see we've even shown up. I sit next to Divine, her suspiciously looking at me noticing the hoodie. I'm sure Danny and Ashton know that it's Adrian's.
No one says anything though, they just go back to whatever they were talking about before but I can't focus on whatever it is when I feel Adrian's eyes on me the whole time. Divine pushes some kiwi towards me.
"You're wearing Adrian's hoodie?" Danny catches my attention and I wanna slap the stupid grin off his face to get him to stop thinking about whatever it is he thinks. It's just a hoodie.
Yeah, okay.
"Oh, yeah." Ashton drags the words out, smacking Adrian's shoulder-as if he hadn't noticed it the second we both walked into the cafeteria. Divine's grinning too now, like they all have a joke that me and Adrian don't know about.
If only they knew why I was wearing his hoodie.
The bell rings, making Danny groan as he practically shovels the rest of his salad into his mouth. We all leave lunch, heading to our last classes of the day.
English goes by quickly, as usual. The school days always either go super quick or slow, no in between. I walk to physics, happy to see Adrian-ignoring the nasty looks from Lexi, that are worse than usual.
The teacher talks and goes through a lesson throughout the whole class, giving me and Adrian no time at all to talk or anything except exchanging notes when one of us didn't get them.
"You wanna ride home?" He asks as he follows me to my locker. I don't even hesitate, not even bothering to worry about dad now. I nod and then Ashton's walking up to us.
"Can you drive Divine home?" Adrian nods, Danny now with us as I take and put things back in my locker. "Thanks, chauffeur." Adrian just flips him off.