Silent Lies - Chapter 17: Chapter 17

When I pull into the gas station, I see Olivia sitting at a bench in the front of the building. I try to hurry and get out of the car before her to open the door for her, but she beats me to the door before I even have my seatbelt off. Damnit.
I smile as she puts her seatbelt on, happy to have her coming to the party. "Hi, Liv."
I see her smile then too which only makes me happier. She looks up at me, waving shyly. But, I see her red and puffy eyes-like she's been crying. Oh no.
"What happened?" She's confused why I ask. I don't ask 'are you okay' because clearly she's not when it's apparent she's been crying.
She shakes her way, her usual way to say nothing, but I see the way her arms wrap around her body. I know that move too well. All of my happiness from seeing her again leaves me.
"Liv, hey..." I say softly. "I...I know there's something-" She shakes her head, cutting me off before I can continue the sentence.
I sigh, not wanting to let it go but I know she sure does. I have to get her to talk about it eventually though, well not talk but at least admit it. I've been through it enough to know what she's going through.
I start the drive back to the party, back to Ashton's house, and the silence in the car is horrible this time unlike the other usual comfortable silences we can go into. This one isn't comfortable at all. It's so tense and awkward and saddening.
I think back to the day with Lexi, when she was being so fucking rude to her once again. I don't understand Lexi's problem with her, especially now just because I finally got the courage to talk to her.
'And you hang out with her? Of all people? And not me?'
What Lexi doesn't realize is I'd hangout with literally anyone but her.
'What could she possibly have that I don't?'
So fucking much. Unlike Lexi, Olivia actually has a nice personality-from what I'm able to get out of her at least. And she's actually nice, not constantly making people feel like shit or ever in fact.
But I think more specifically about the day Lexi had gripped her wrists so hard her cuts had reopened. Cuts from self harm...I so badly wanna tell her to never do that again, but I know it doesn't just work like that. Telling her that isn't gonna magically help her stop. I wish there was so much more I could do to actually help her.
'She fucking cuts herself, an attention seeker, and you hang out with her?"
That sentence Lexi had said made me so mad. I don't understand how Lexi, and unfortunately other people, can possibly think like that.
Then seeing Olivia crying, thanks to Lexi, god it just broke my heart. I never want to see her cry, never ever again. The only tears I want to see of hers are tears of joy.
I wish I could take any and all pain she deals with and inflict it on myself instead, never wanting her to feel such horrible things again.
Olivia deserves to be the happiest girl in the world.
She has yet to admit anything of what she goes through to me, but I know what it is. Once again, coming from someone who has gone through the same things. But I've seen enough besides that, with what Lexi's done and all, to know she truly does deserve to be the happiest girl in the world.
She's so young and has already gone through way too fucking much. Has already gone through things no one should ever go through.
I want to reach out and hold her hand, but I know better than to do that. Plus, unfortunately, we're already back at Ashton's house. We get out of the car, and I see her having her usual bag.
"I'll take that," I say, gesturing to the bag. "I'll put it in Ashton's room so it doesn't get stolen, you know?"
She nods and hands it to me, while we walk up the steps. Several feet away from the house and we can hear the music blaring. But on the porch, I see Danny who's already seeing us and rushing to Olivia.
He throws his arms around her, a red solo cup filled with a beverage in hand. He slurs while he talks, "Are you ready to part-tay, Liv." He drags the word party out, way too drunk already.
She laughs but I see the way she winces when Danny hugs her, not even tightly as he'd usually do-he's too drunk to do so right now-and how tense she is with a hug from him. Her arms still remain hugging her own body, refusing to hug him back.
Thank god he's drunk or he'd be offended.
"Okay, Danny, let's get you inside and sober a bit. Sound like a plan?" I drag him off Liv, not missing the pained expression on her face. I mouth several apologies to her.
"But being sober is lame." I roll my eyes, practically carrying him up the steps.
Walking into the house, the music only becomes louder and louder. The house is packed, barely any room to trudge the idiot I'm still practically carrying to Ashton's room.
"Oh," he drags the word out and I look at Olivia who's looking amused with Danny. "That guys cute."
"You think everyone's cute when you're drunk, Danny." He pushes me away, walking to said cute guy I assume. I sigh and just shake my head, knowing he won't listen to me anymore.
I try to lead me and Olivia up to Ashton's room but it's hard to do with everyone in the way. I can see Olivia getting anxious, but her arms still wrapped around herself. I hold my hand out for her to take, to try and make this a bit easier-I'm surprised too when she actually takes it.
I ignore my heartbeat quickening while holding her hand.
When we finally make it to the steps going upstairs I sigh in relief. Most of the upstairs is completely off limits as Ashton always makes it when we throw parties-Ashton having the biggest house out of us all the parties are always at his house. With his parents being out of town a lot also it works out well.
I let go of her hand, opening Ashton's bedroom door to see everyone else's stuff too-Divine's, Ashton's obviously, mine, and Danny's. His bedroom is the safe place for us at these parties.
"So..." I frown when she sits on the bed, seemingly needing a break. I see her wincing when she finally moves her arms. "Liv...look I know-"
She takes her phone out, ignoring what I'm trying to say as I'm still trying to figure out how to say it. She types away then shows me what it was-Where's Divine?
"Oh, I think she's outback with Ashton." She nods, standing. I open the door, once again hearing the loud music from downstairs.
I hold her hand again, still ignoring the way my heart beats fast as hell while doing so again. Outback there's even more people, unfortunately. I stop by the beer keg, motioning towards it. "Do you wanna drink? Or there's juice and water and pop inside? Or other alcohols but if you really wanna drink...Or other stuff I'm sure. Ashton always has plenty of drinks."
She cuts off my rambling, motioning towards the keg. I grab a cup from the stack of them, filling it up with the beer.
"Be careful with how much you drink, it's the colt 45 beer." She smiles hearing that and I'm glad to see she knows the song reference. "Or drink however much you want but you see how Danny is already." She laughs, seeing him inside talking to some dude, barely keeping his balance. "I probably won't be drinking tonight anymore, or very little. Have you ever drank before this?"
She shrugs, pinching together her fingers to say very little. She takes a sip of the beer, scrunching her face up, disgusted by it and I laugh.
"It's horrible at first, but it tastes better after a little bit." She takes a few more sips and waits for it to get better but that doesn't seem to happen for her.
"Olivia!" I hear Divine call out, stumbling over to us with Ashton right behind her keeping his arm around her waist so she doesn't fall. "I thought you weren't coming?"
"I thought she didn't drink?" I ask Ashton, gesturing towards Divine who seems to be even more drunk than Danny.
"Yeah, so did I." He's practically sober, I can tell he's only had a few sips of something.
Divine throws her arms around Olivia, hugging her so tightly, excited to see her. But with how drunk she is she doesn't see how Olivia winces or hear the whimper that escapes her lips-me and Ashton do though.
"Hey, Divine, you're gonna squeeze her to death." Ashton takes her arms, having her lean up against him again to keep her from falling. Divine talks Olivia's head off about how the parties been, but Ashton's whispering to me. "Have you really talked to her about it all yet?"
"She always cuts me off by doing something or denies it, it's kinda hard to." He nods, understanding it and why she'd keep cutting me off and denying it.
Divine drags Olivia over to the pool, her free arm wrapping around her body. Ashton's looking over at them, mostly Olivia, eyes so soft. He knows the situation too well just as I do.
I wonder if Olivia's eaten today, knowing she barely eats at school. I walk inside, making Ashton follow me and grabbing a bag of chips. It's not really the place to be making a full meal right now. Before I go back outside I tell Ashton, "Go check on Danny."
I take the bag of chips, walking back outside over to Olivia only to see Divine's going back inside towards Ashton then there's some dude sitting by Olivia now.
I walk quicker, seeing she looks uncomfortable. Then am practically fucking running when his hand is on her thigh.
"Hey, I think you should go buddy." I sit next to Olivia and she looks so relieved to see me. The dude glares at me and I see how much older he looks, he's gotta be someone Ashton's older brother invited.
"And why is that? We were just gonna have some fun." Olivia looks up at me, pleading for me to do something. It's obvious she's already rejected him but he can't seem to accept that.
The only thing I think to do is one I know I shouldn't but it's my only idea as of right now-besides beating the absolute shit out of him. I wrap my arm around Olivia's shoulders, pulling her close to me. I enjoy how it feels having her close to me, but hate how her body tenses. "Cause she has a boyfriend."
He scoffs, standing up from his spot on the edge of the pool. Olivia dips her hands in the pool, ignoring everything happening.
"Whatever. The bitch doesn't even talk anyways. And this high school party is fucking boring." He mutters as he walks away.
"If it's so boring then go to parties for people your age and stop flirting with underage girls!" I yell after him, dragging all the attention to him so everyone knows how he is. Ashton heard me say all that, so now I see Ashton practically tossing him out.
Olivia is still tense by my side, my arm still around her as she brings her knees to her chest. I finally move my arm away, even with as much as I don't want to. "You okay?"
She nods, taking another sip of the beer she still has yet to get used to making me laugh. I bring out the bag of chips, offering her the bag that she gladly takes. We just sit by the pool for a bit, eating an entire bag of chips together in silence-well we don't talk at all, but the music and chatter from literally everyone else is in the background.
"Why did Divine leave your side?" I finally ask, wondering where she's gone. Olivia makes a movement like she's gonna throw up and I catch on, nodding and laughing. She pulls out her phone and types-She's such a lightweight apparently.
We sit in silence for a bit longer, still just hearing the music from inside the house and a shit ton of chatter from surrounding people. Until Olivia starts coughing after another sip of the beer, turning into a full blown coughing attack.
"Hey, are you-" I refrain from asking the question when it's obvious she's not as I hold back her hair, her coughing something up.
Blood.
It's not a lot but so what? She shouldn't be coughing up blood either fucking way. "Liv...oh, fuck." I stand from my spot on the edge of the pool, her following to do the same.
She avoids my gaze and anyone else's attention she gained from her full blown coughing attack as I lead her inside, grabbing some napkins and water for her. She takes it from me, wiping her mouth and downing half the water bottle.
Her arms wrap around herself yet again and I can't think before saying, "Let me see."
Her eyes widen, but she pretends she's confused, not knowing at all what I'm talking about.
"Liv...your ribs, that's what it is, isn't it?" She shakes her head over and over, trying to keep up a smile to say nothing is wrong but I see her eyes water. "Come on, Liv. I know...I know what's happening. You can't keep hiding it. Just let me see so I know you're okay."
She's not okay though, she's coughing up blood.
She shakes her head and keeps up the fake smile that's getting hard for her to keep up now. "Please...just. I see through those of yours, Liv." The shaking of her head becomes less now. "Come on."
I hold my hand out for her, and she takes it thankfully. I lead us back up to Ashton's room, thankful no one else is in there right now. I lock the door behind us, not needing two of our very drunk friends barging in or Ashton-well it's his room but still.
"Can I look?" I ask as I turn on a light and she sits on the bed. She finally nods thankfully, slightly admitting everything I've figured out to be true.
I sit on the bed next to her, her hand hesitating with the hem of her hoodie. When she pulls it up finally I gasp, literally, seeing the sight of her ribs and just all of her stomach. Nearly everywhere is colored purple, blue, and green-some bruises looking brand new and others being older.
First her jaw. Then a black eye. Then bruises around her neck. Now this. But this is the worst of them all.
"Hey, I think...no I need to get you to a hospital, this is just...horrible." I frown when she shakes her head over and over once again. "Why? Liv...this-"
She types away on her phone quickly-They'll ask questions.
"Yeah, yeah I would to. You can tell them what's happened and who did this to you."
She shakes her head over and over once again, I frown. But I accept that she doesn't want to go to the hospital-I can't force her to go. I just wish she would, this looks horrible. It is horrible.
"I'll be right back, okay?" I tell her and she nods. I quickly rush to Ashton's bathroom to find whatever bandages he's got and thankful to see he has a wrap.
I rush back into the room, seeing Liv with the saddest look ever on her face. I sit back down beside her, she sees the bandage in my hands and knows what it's for, lifting her hoodie again. She winces as I wrap it around her, I apologize a million times.
She lets her hoodie fall back down, then a silence washes over us-a horrible one. I just want to hug her, hold her, but I don't know if that's what she wants so I don't make the move.
I finally get myself to ask the question. "Who...who's done this to you, Liv?"
That's her breaking point.
All her tears that I'm sure she's been holding back for awhile now fall, sobs escaping her lips.
"Hey, hey, it's okay." I try to find soothing words but none help and finally I pull her into my arms, wishing I'd done that sooner when she lets it happen, fully relaxing in my arms.
She shakes in my arms, and I feel how frail she is. Her clothes are always baggy on her, but tonight with the leggings she's wearing it's way more noticeable. She's so small-unhealthily small.
And I've got an idea on why.
It's a while before she's calmed down, after me rubbing her back and my fingers through her hair. She still shakes a little, though. With the lamp light I turned on earlier I see all the rep splotches on her face, and her puffy and red eyes. Twice tonight she's cried.
She hides her face from me when she sees I've noticed, burying her head in my chest. I'm too happy that she's comfortable with me now, knowing the reasons why making me not so happy.
She yawns and I see it's past 1am now. I don't want to move past the conversation of who's doing this to her, but I know she wants to. "Do you want to sleep here, or-"
She's nodding lazily before I can finish, offering to go back to my house. Moms out of town for work this weekend.
"Okay. Let's go to one of the guest rooms, I'm sure Ashton would appreciate his bed tonight." She laughs a little and I'm happy to hear that after hearing her sobs that broke my heart.
She stands and I only see now from the lamp light that Olivia's tears smeared away the makeup she seemed to be wearing, revealing her horribly bruised jaw once again. But it looks way worse now.
She grabs her bag and I just turn the light off, knowing it'll be better for now to not bring it up. I take her hand which she happily lets me again, leading us out to one of the many guest rooms in this house.
I go to walk into one but see Danny passed out on the bed. Olivia giggles seeing the horrible position he somehow managed to pass out in.
I find an empty one finally, watching Liv kick off her shoes at the door. I take her bag for her, setting it on the dresser. Before she crawls into the bed, she types away on her phone-Thank you.
"You don't need to thank me, Liv. Get some sleep." I help pull the covers over her, seeing how much more content she seems to be now.
She types away again-Will Ashton care that I'm sleeping here?
"No, no. Not at all." I assure her and she nods.
She rests her head comfortably on the pillow, just as I say, "Okay...if you need anything I'll be downstairs somewhere with Ashton."
Her head pops up, looking up at me with those big blue eyes of hers. I can't tell what it is she's trying to say with just her eyes.
"What is it?"
She grabs her phone once again-Can you stay?
I'm shocked she wants me to stay. "Y-You want me to?" She nods quickly, and I'm thankful for her phone light revealing the small blush that appears on her cheeks.
I nod too, taking off my own shoes then my jacket. She moves over in the bed, giving me more than enough room. I lay on my back as she's on her side, directly towards me.
It doesn't take long before she's passed out, asleep, small snores coming from her. I've never seen her as relaxed as she seems now-she always looks worried and scared, even with the few moments I've seen her laughing or seeming to be happy, she still always somehow seems scared.
But not right now.
Each time she stirs in her sleep she ends up closer to me and my breathing picks up. This time when she stirs, her arms around me and her head laying on my arm that she's trapped. I move my arm, and she seems to take that as her opportunity to lay her head on my chest instead.
Oh god.
My heart is beating a thousand miles an hour.
I wrap my own arm around her, practically holding her now. I was already struggling to sleep in the same bed as her, but now this? Fuck me.
It's hours by time I can fall asleep, the faint music now being completely silent as the party had ended.