Silent Lies - Chapter 18: Chapter 18

I wake up thanks to the sun shining so brightly right in my face. It takes a minute for me to fully open my eyes, taking everything in.
Adrian's arms are wrapped around me from behind, my hand was holding onto his.
Oh my god.
His arms are tightly wrapped around me, not to the extent of hurting me or anything though. Confusing thing is, I don't even mind that much nor am I scared or flinching away, things I'd usually do.
This is nice. Really nice.
And I slept amazing for once, actually feeling rested. I sleep a lot, but it's never good sleep if that makes sense. I'm always scared or worried because of dad while sleeping in that house, but last night? I felt completely safe.
All because dad wasn't under the same roof as me. He wouldn't be able to hurt me here.
Then the events of last night replay in my mind as I still lay there, not wanting to wake Adrian.
He knows.
He saw me cough up that blood, really figuring it out-practically the same way as Divine had but I kept denying it. Not last night though, not after I broke down into sobs and actually let Adrian hold me.
I push my mind away from all that, not wanting to think of it and worry. My head hurts, and I know it's not a hangover headache since I barely drank-the beer was so gross last night, but definitely something if you want to get drunk, I now know from seeing how Divine and Danny were-it's from how much I cried and sobbed last night.
I feel Adrian stir a bit in his sleep, his arms tightening more. I hear lots of talking, loud talking, from downstairs. I wonder who all ended up staying last night.
Obviously Danny and Divine, I'd hope, considering how drunk they both got, and Ashton clearly since it's his house. But there seems to be more than just them, another voice I don't know.
"Liv?" Adrian whispers, his morning voice so low and deep.
That's hot.
Shut the hell up, now is not the time.
I try to move in his arms, which are still wrapped around me even as he's waking up, letting him know I'm awake. I end up on my back, one arm of his thrown over my stomach and holding my waist, his head now resting in the crook of my neck.
I don't know what to do, he's still half asleep so he doesn't even realize the way he's practically laying on me. But in a way, I don't mind, at all.
I take my free arm that isn't trapped under him, going numb, and brush my fingers through his hair. Which, as I thought, is very soft. He mumbles some incoherent things, making me laugh some.
That wakes him up, making him realize how and who he was laying on as he sits up and looks down at me. His whole face flushes and I laugh even more, my own cheeks flush but I'm clearly not as nervous as he is.
"Oh, oh god. I-I'm sorry for-" I shake my head before he can finish the sentence, telling him it's okay. Because it really is. It goes quiet until he manages to ask, "A-Are you okay?"
I know what he's asking for, after seeing the state of my body along with my mental state. I nod, trying to say I'm fine.
Really, I am.
For now.
I'm sure I won't be the second I walk back into the same house as dad.
But here, when dads nowhere around, I'm more than fine.
"Liv..." I sit up, standing up and adjusting the clothes I slept in. I motion towards the door, seeing if he's ready to go down and see what everyone else is up to-he gets the hint I don't want to talk about last night.
"I think Ashton's older brother might've stayed last night." So that's the other voice I can't recognize down there. "I hope they've made breakfast, I'm starving."
Adrian opens the door, but he stops at the bathroom. I realize I should too, desperately needing to use it but I also know my bruises are showing more than likely.
Adrian walks in on me rummaging through my bag, finding the makeup I had brought to the gas station. When he sees it in my hand his eyes soften.
"Liv, you don't have to hide it here. They-" I shake my head, moving past him to the bathroom.
I do my business, then quickly cover everything that they'll be able to see. Everything that Adrian's now seen. I fix the mess my hair had become during the night, trying to not look a mess overall.
Adrian's waiting on the bed when I walk back into the guest room, I look at my phone when I put the makeup away-11:49am.
"Ready?" I nod and we both walk out of the room, going downstairs and my stomach flutters when his hands on my lower back.
Why the fuck are you getting butterflies now?
I thought people were dramatic when they said they'd get butterflies but no, they're real.
The chatter gets louder and I realize it's mostly just Ashton and his brother talking away. When we pass through the living room and all, I see how much of a mess the house is after that party.
I guess it was a nice party, but I don't have any others to compare to, nor did I stay long with Adrian after his realizations. It was a Halloween party, but there were barely any costumes-lame.
I hold back a laugh when we walk into the kitchen, seeing Divine and Danny looking miserable-they're having a hangover.
"Adrian." The unfamiliar boy, who looks just 20, says as he walks over to us and pulls Adrian into a hug.
"Hey, Chase." Ashton's brother is just an inch or two taller than Adrian, not necessarily towering over me or anything. He has blonde hair, but not platinum like Ashton's-he has the same green eyes as his brother. His style just says he's a typical college frat boy, I'm surprised to see he's not having a hangover also.
Ashton's older brother, Chase, looks at me and smiles. "And you are?"
I don't know how to respond, not wanting to seem rude when I don't shake his hand but I don't know this dude. Even if it's Ashton's older brother, I'm not that quick to trust touch even as small as a handshake. He refrains from the shake, pulling his hand back and thankfully not seeming offended.
"She's Olivia," Adrian answers for me, rubbing his hand up and down my back.
There goes the butterflies once again.
"Oh, hi Olivia." I awkwardly wave and smile. "I'm Chase."
I don't like the silence at all now. I now am able to hear Ashton cooking breakfast, just as Adrian wished for-eggs, bacon, a bunch of fruit from what I can see.
It smells so fucking good and I'm so happy when Chase walks away finally, talking away to Ashton as Danny grumbles something as my stomach growls, the other noises around us covering it up.
Adrian walks over to the table in the dining portion of the kitchen, motioning for me to follow. Adrian sits across from Danny and I sit across from Divine.
"Are you guys good?" Adrian asks them.
"The ibuprofen hasn't kicked in yet, so it'd be really fucking nice if you'd all be quiet." We both laugh as Danny practically scolds us all, Divine agreeing right along with him.
"Hey, I told you two to watch how much you drink last night but you didn't." Ashton sits right next to Divine and I don't miss the way his arm wraps around her waist the best it can from where he's sitting, her face immediately lighting up despite everything else. "I tried to take the drinks away from you," he tells her. "But you refused."
"Maybe I should just bring some alcohol next time we have a party, not some strong beer," Chase says as he takes a seat next to Danny.
"Yeah, remember we're in high school? Not our junior year of college," Adrian tells him. "We don't go to parties every other night and get used to that shit."
"And that shit tasted horrible." I'm surprised to hear Divine speak up finally.
"So why'd you keep drinking?" Ashton asks, directing it to both her and Danny as he agrees. I agree too-but I didn't get wasted last night, barely even buzzed.
"You think that taste matters once you become wasted?" They both say and we all laugh.
After we all eat breakfast, which thankfully helped Danny and Divine, we end up outside in Ashton's nice ass backyard-well, nice despite the mess it is after last night.
I sit on the edge of the pool just like last night, it is now completely trashed and needing a good cleaning. I'm surprised it's not covered yet with it being nearly November.
How the hell is it already nearly November?
I watch as Divine walks away from the guys who are talking about something, sitting next to me. She rubs her temples and I giggle, letting her rest her head on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry I left you alone last night." I shrug, trying to say it's okay. She was drunk out of her mind. "But, you and Adrian?" I practically hear the grin in her voice. I shake my head as she lifts her own to look at me. "There's definitely something between you two."
I shake my head but feel my cheeks heat which only makes her grin more. But seriously, there's nothing between us. We're just friends, that's all. Either way, something like that is beyond me considering my situation. I don't have time for having some crush.
"There so is!" Before she can say more, I point over to Ashton then back to her for my own 'So you and Ashton?' Her entire body flushes pretty much as she lays her head back on my shoulder, saying, "Shut up."
Divine ends up going back over to Ashton, just as Adrian comes over to me and sits down. It's completely silent between us for a few, until Adrian speaks up.
"Who's doing this to you?" I shake my head, hoping he doesn't keep this up. "It's someone you live with, right? D-Divine's mentioned you having a strict dad...so, it's him. Isn't it?"
I can't get myself to shake my head and lie as usual, something telling me to stop lying to him.
"Christ," he mutters. "You're not going back there. You can't." I shake my head, trying to say I will. "Your ribs are more than likely broken, Liv. You can't go back there, it'll get worse."
It will. It has gotten worse before. But I can handle it.
No you can't.
I can.
You really can't handle much more of it, admit it already.
I pull my phone out, typing-And where am I supposed to go?
"I don't know. Just anywhere but there. You can stay with me while we-" I shake my head right away. "Have you told anyone?" Another shake of my head. "When do you turn 18?"
I take a minute, holding up 5 and a half fingers. I type again-Why?
"5 months before you can even get out," he mutters while shaking his head. "No way in hell are you going back."
I have to.
"You don't. What if we tell-" I shake my head immediately, knowing better than to tell anyone he has in mind. A teacher, the principal, the counselor, no one will be told. It's bad enough he now knows.
They won't believe me. I type, remembering the one time I told the resource officer. And if they do, I'll be sent into foster care or something.
He nods, finally understanding. Foster care could be so much worse considering how fucked the system is. I may get beat nearly everyday but it could get so much worse in care.
"Yeah, right. I don't know why I even thought about that, I always worried about getting sent to foster care and all that when he was around." His voice is lowered.
When he was around.
He? I type.
"My step dad." It's all starting to make sense now, how he found out so quickly. "Ex, step dad," he corrects. "The same one I got into fights with all the time."
I look up at him, frowning. He's opening up so much to me right now. "I was 14, 15, when he was around." Just a kid. "He loved my mom, but me? He hated me so much for reasons I still don't know. He'd always hit me and shit when mom wasn't home or around, for no reason. I'd always fight back, but it never did much. I was 14 or 15 or whatever, half his size when he was in his forties."
My hand meets his, to both of our surprises, and I squeeze it. It's all I know what to do to tell him I'm here for him. Even if I talked, I wouldn't know what words to use. I started growing up with my dad laughing when I cried or just needed some sort of comforting, so now I don't know how to do it for others. I don't even know how to comfort myself.
"I'd always go down to my dad's house with black eyes and probably broken ribs. I'd never tell him, but he always sort of knew it was my step dad. Dad hated him," he went on. "Dad would always do his hardest to get the truth out of me but it never worked. Mom believed me when I made up lies like 'I fell' or 'A fight at school.' So she'd always tell dad that. I don't know how she actually believed it...she was too blinded by love to look out for her own son."
"I was too scared to ever admit it to my dad what was happening, knowing he'd probably kill him. And he made mom happy somehow so I never wanted to ruin it. Ashton and Danny knew...but I made them promise to not tell my dad. Mom got home early one day and found him beating the shit out of me. She was blinded by the love, yeah. But, she at least didn't choose him over me. She kicked him out right away, got a divorce, and is still making it up to me till this day."
I'm happy to hear it all ended, knowing no one deserves this and what it's like. I wipe a tear that falls down his cheek. He seems to be thankful everyone's too caught up in whatever they're doing across the yard to pay attention to us.
"Back to the point," he says and I frown. "You can't go back Liv...I know you are worried about foster care and all that shit but I just can't let you go."
I shake my head, taking my hand back from his. He sighs sadly, gazing down at me as I stare across the pool to everyone else.
I don't want to go home. It's been so nice here, but I know I have to go back.
"Who do you live with besides your dad?" I shake my head to say no one else. "Does Divine know?" I shrug, knowing she's figuring it out but I've continued to deny it all. "Just...my moms gone for a few more days for work, she texted me earlier, on a business trip, stay with me until we can figure something-" I shake my head immediately.
Adrian blows out a breath, my phone dinging. I read the text from dad.
Get your ass home.
Dad, 2:27pm
I show Adrian the text and he shakes his head, trying once again. "You can't go back there."
I pull up the notes as usual, typing away-I have to, I'll be fine. I've gotta go.
I stand up as he does too, following me as I walk over to Divine. "I'll drive you home." I go to shake my head but I know there's no point, he won't let this one go.
"You're leaving?" Divine says sadly, I nod as I hug her. "I'm sorry I barely talked or stayed around." I shake my head, trying to say it's okay. "We need to have a sleepover one night, just us-like it used to be." I wish I could say yes, but I know with dad that'd never be allowed. "I love you."
I smile, attempting to say it back somehow as she pulls away. I nod as usual when she asks, "Are you okay?"
"Leaving already?" Ashton asks and I nod. Him and Adrian exchange a look and I can't tell at all what it is. Finally, Ashton nods and says bye to me, along with Danny and Chase.
It's completely silent as Adrian drives me home, my body aching that I've been able to ignore up until now. After having it all so easy for some days, up until last night, I am terrified to go back. My stomach twists with anxiety.
Adrian keeps glancing over at me, and I know he wants to keep talking about it. He doesn't want me to go home but I have to. Who fucking knows what dad will do if I don't go home.
Adrian turns to me as he pulls in front of the house, me taking my seatbelt off. "You text me if he...if it gets bad, okay?" I nod, even though I know I more than likely won't.
He's hugging me now.
It's still so different to be hugging anyone other than Divine. For once, in his arms, I don't tense as usual or flinch and push him away, actually being comfortable with him since last night.
"I'll see you at school..." I nod as I grab my bag and get out of the car. As usual, he doesn't drive off until I'm inside.
"Whorin' around, hmm?" I roll my eyes, trying to just go right to my room but that doesn't work. "Go make dinner."
I roll my eyes when my backs facing him, setting my bag on the ground. I do as he told me to, throwing together something so he'll leave me alone. But of course, I still go and end up being backhanded once I'm done.
I collapse on my bed, exhausted already. My entire body aches. I just wanna pass out but then my phone dings, Adrian.
You okay?
Adrian, 4:09pm
It's barely been an hour since he's dropped me home, yet he's already worrying. I smile, even though he's worrying for things I wish he weren't. It's nice having a new friend, as I've said.
But it hurts so much knowing he's gone through the same thing.