Silent Lies - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

I'm awake, but I can't open my eyes. Not yet at least. They hurt so bad, like they're swollen. Everything hurts so bad.
What the hell happened to me?
Where am I?
What keeps beeping? It's fucking annoying.
What's around my face? What's in my shirt? Also what the hell is sticking to my hand?
And most of all, why does everything hurt so fucking bad?
I don't dare move an inch, not wanting to hurt anymore than I already am, finally managing to open my eyes and see some light shining in through the window on my right side. I look around some, my eyes blurry and the sun blinding me as though I haven't seen the light in weeks. It almost looks like a hospital room.
It is a hospital room.
Why am I in the hospital?
Well, with all the pain I'm in that must be why of course. But how did this happen?
I lift my hand, wincing because even that hurts, seeing the IV connecting to something I can't get my head to turn and look at, only able to stare straight ahead. The Tv is playing, but very quietly and I think it's a news channel.
My hand lifts to my face, and I whimper when I just barely touch my right cheek, regretting it. I go to pull at whatever the hells on my face, tickling my nose too, but something stops me-someone.
"Don't touch it," some guy with bright platinum hair tells me, pulling my hands back to my side and I wince. "Shit. I'm so sorry Liv."
Who is he?
"L-Let me go get the nurse." He rushes out of the room, calling for someone. Seconds later he's back, watching me with careful eyes as he waits. "Adrian went to get lunch with everyone else, finally. He hasn't left your side, we had to force him to go and eat something."
Adrian..? Everyone else..?
"Oh, Olivia, sweetheart you're awake!" The nurse says happily. "I'm Amy. I'm just gonna check some things." She looks at my vitals as I look at my arm, seeing my hand in a cast and bruises scattering my arms. "And ask you some questions, okay?"
I nod, having a million different questions on my mind to ask but my throat hurts so I don't open my mouth to say anything. Platinum haired boy doesn't take his eyes off me, seeming to worry. Why do I not know a single thing... I don't know this boy, but I don't recall knowing anyone or anything.
What the fuck.
"Everything looks how it should at this point." Amy smiles warmly at me. "Do you know where you are, Olivia?" I think, worrying for myself. Oh, a few things come to mind, everything slowly coming back to me. "If you don't know I need to know, sweetheart. You have been out for a few days though, we don't expect you to know everything right away."
I look at the boy, his face slowly becoming familiar. I want to say that I don't know where I am or why I'm even in the hospital, well it's clear I needed to be here but I don't know how it all happened, but my throat is so sore and talking... it doesn't feel right to me. That's one thing I do know while not knowing anything else other than my name supposedly being Olivia.
"She uh... she's mute? She doesn't really talk so..." The boy trails off as I recognize him more and more with each passing second.
And horrible vivid flashbacks come back, some man hurting me. Wait... that can't be why I'm in the hospital, right?
It is...
I remember dad now. Why am I not dead?
That's why I don't want to talk, then.
"Oh, okay. Well Olivia, can you shake or nod your head for me?" Her tone is gentle, helping with my erratic heartbeat as I remember more and more, wishing I had just lost my memory for good. As bad as that sounds, it'd be better for me. I don't want to remember any of this. I nod finally, to both questions, but I now feel like there's a ton of bricks sitting atop my head, making me wince. "Do you... remember why you're here?"
Unfortunately. I nod, looking at the boy who I now remember as Ashton. His face is still masked in worry while he gives me the softest smile, seeming to try and reassure me of something.
"Okay, good. Good. Or not good that you're here but..." Amy trails off, mumbling a few things to herself but I know what she meant. "Olivia, you were out for a few days as I said. This may all sound scary at first, but I can assure you you're okay, you will be." The only scary thing is the memories of everything that dad did the other day that keep racing through my mind. "Your lung collapsed, that is what the tube you're probably wondering about is for." She points to the tube coming up through my gown I was wondering about. Well, no wonder my chest burns.
She lists more and more things off, giving me explanations to why certain things hurt how they do. My chest burns the most and my cheekbone is nearly the worst next to my lungs. This is the worst dads ever hurt me, seriously, as I'm told I could've died if I arrived at the hospital even just seconds later.
I zone out from all these explanations, the memories of how I landed in this hospital bed replaying in full force.
"Please stop!" I beg dad just after he landed a kick to my cheek, feeling something that isn't at all right. "P-Please, dad."
He looks down at me, some expression I cannot read whatsoever as he wipes his hands over his face. I've never been more thankful in my life like I am when he walks out of my room, leaving me alone.
Only for a few minutes though.
"Liv?" I hear Ashton calling my name softly, snapping me back to reality. I hadn't even realized the nurse Amy left the room. "Do you... Do you want me to go find Adrian?"
I would say yes, but he mentioned everyone else being with him so I shake my head. I'm not ready to deal with everything yet, all of them. I do want Admira though... I want the woman who's been the closest thing a parent figure I've had in years.
"Are you..." He trails off, shaking his head. "I'm so fucking happy that you're awake, Liv." I frown as his voice shakes. "That you've finally woken up. I was so scared..."
I frown at him, not wanting anyone to be scared over me of all people and things. Dad's words to me replay then too, making me wish I never woke up.
"Can I tell you something?" I nod, but ask for a favor first as I point to the bottle of water on the floor next to his chair that hasn't even been opened yet, my throat being as dry as a desert and itchy. He nods right away, handing it to me and I gulp half of it down. "You're like a little sister to me, Liv..."
I don't like where this is going, seeing the pained expression on his face. He stays quiet for a few long moments, fidgeting with his fingers. I frown, wanting to hug him but unable to move without being in even more agony.
"Never mind... this is wrong for me to be talking and telling you my own problems when you're dealing with plenty of your own." I shake my head, trying to get his attention back when he looks away from me, muttering things about him being a piece of shit when that's the thing he's furthest from. "I'm sorry."
I go to open my mouth, surprising myself when I want to talk right now, to tell him it's more than okay and for him to tell me what he wanted until the door to the hospital room opens and Admira walks in, a watery smile on her face.
"Oh, baby, you're awake!" She rushes over, sitting on the edge of the bed.
And then everyone else is walking into the room, eyes widening when they see me awake and I wish I hadn't woken up, too much happening already. I haven't even been awake for an hour, I'm still processing everything.
Ashton, Adrian, Admira, Danny, Noah, and Divine... too many people at once, making me feel like I'm suffocating. I love them all, I do, but this is too much.
Too many words are being said at once, along the lines of them being happy that I'm awake and thankful, all that, but I can't focus on any of them. Adrian sits on the edge of the bed too by my side, a huge smile on his face and he's the only one I can fully focus on, grabbing his hand to calm my nerves.
"Guys be quiet," he tells them all, noticing my nerves and how this is all too much for me. "She just woke up, come on now."
I still want to know what Ashton was going to tell me.
"Yeah, kids how about we all give her some space?" Admira says, quieting them all. She smiles warmly at me, making me feel at home again, then she shares a look with Adrian and then stands up, gesturing for everyone else to follow her.
"Do y-you want anyone else instead?" Adrian asks, worrying but I shake my head right away, just needing him right now. Admira too. I mean, I need them all, but right now it's just too much. "Did Amy already tell you everything?" I nod. "How're you... feeling, mentally not... you know?" I force a smile, already knowing my body is in pain. Mentally though, I'm a wreck but I shrug for him.
It goes quiet between us, Adrian wearing a sad smile, stroking my hair. I know he noticed me not talking, but he's not saying anything about it, not pushing me thankfully. It just... it feels like how it felt before everyone found out, talking terrifying me.
"They're searching for your dad," he tells me and I furrow my brows, regretting it when it hurts. "We... We told them he did it, Liv. I'm sorry but we had to." I nod, sort of thankful they did. "He's missing somehow, hiding from the cops."
Of fucking course he is.
"You're not... You're not talking again." He doesn't say it as a question, rather a statement as I look up at the ceiling, unresponsive. "That's okay... take your time, baby." I hold onto his hand, needing it as I try to sit up, crying out in pain, ignoring Adrian's pleas for me to just stay laying down. I need to sit up. Thankfully he helps me either way, knowing I'll do it on my own anyways.
Then I'm leaning into Adrian, letting his arms wrap around me as I sob into his chest unexpectedly and he tells me to let it all out, that it's all going to be okay.
Nurse Amy walks in during my mental breakdown, quickly walking out of the room to give me space thankfully, with my boyfriend.
I smile at that, remembering the hours before dad got me back. Everything was perfect.
I sniffle as I pull away finally, reaching for a tissue with my nose now being stuffed but it hurts to even just do that, Adrian grabbing it for me. He softly strokes my cheek, wiping away tears, making sure not to hurt me.
"Liv?" Admira walks into the room slowly, a sad smile when she sees my more than likely red and blotchy face with puffy eyes. Or they're already puffy, as I know I have two black eyes for sure. She sits on the edge of the bed on my other side as she says, "We're going to have a lot to talk about."
Unfortunately, I know. Once they think I'm stable enough, cops will be in to talk along with social workers I'm sure. It could be tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, but I want it to be never. I don't want to talk about this, not at all. But I know I'm going to have to, when a 17 year old shows up nearly beaten to death, of course. Or anyone for that matter really.
I just pray they don't send me into foster care.
Oh god there's a big chance that could happen, now that they know-the cops and social workers-my own dad did this to me.
Even worse, since I'm 17, soon to be 18, they could send me into group homes so they don't have to deal with finding foster homes for an almost legal adult.
Amy walks in again just as Admira's about to say something, stopping her as she checks my vital's. "So, Olivia, we are going to be keeping you for at least a couple of days to watch over your health." I nod, knowing that was going to happen. "We're going to check a little later for your tube, see if we can take it out. That'd be nice wouldn't it?" I nod, laying my head on Adrian's shoulder, needing the physical support as my body is about to give up and fall back to the bed. "Are you hungry, sweetheart? Do you need anything?" I shake my head even though I need a shit ton of things.
A whole new life would be a nice start.
"Olivia..." Admira starts the second Amy leaves the room. "I'm trying my hardest to get through with adopting you as my own so you don't... go into care. Is that okay?" I nod right away, wanting her before anyone else along with Divine. "It is a difficult process, but hopefully it'll be done by the time you're out of here." I sit back up all the way with Adrian's help, reaching for Admira and she pulls me into her arms.
I look around the room, now noticing the half dead flowers with a couple 'get well soon' cards by it. That's enough to make me smile. I look at Adrian then too, wondering what day it is. He understands quickly and holds up his phone, November 17th, exactly a week before Thanksgiving but here I am, in the hospital. That also means I've missed four days of school, and I was just starting to get caught up with everything but now I'm back at square one.
I'm back at square one for nearly everything now thanks to dad-talking, school, life.
Even though I know I need to stay in the hospital, I really don't want to. The beeping from all the machines is so annoying, only making my head hurt worse. Nurses are going to be in all night checking things for me, expecting me to sleep but how will that be possible with them? And I just want to be home, Admira's house is home, feeling more safe than here.
I mentally prepare myself for the questioning I know will be happening soon, knowing what I have to do. I'm going to tell the truth, even if I'm scared if somehow dad comes back again he makes up a tragic story of how I ended up in the hospital and stories for himself and why suddenly he went missing-even though they had five other teenagers and Admira telling them it was my dad. I'm tired of overthinking things but it's how it is.
If that is what can happen, dad making up stories, I know I won't be able to handle it. Not after this. Not after all of them years. If I'm forced to go back to that house with dad, I'm done for. Not even just because dad will beat me to death hopefully for real this time, but because I won't be able to handle it anymore and I'll do something. Whether it be me killing my own dad to end it, or myself, something will happen that won't land me somewhere good.
I was just getting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, as people say, and I had gotten used to it, making a fool out of myself for believing life would stay that good. But I can't go back to that darkness, not at all. Not now.