Silent Lies - Chapter 32: Chapter 32

It's been hours now since I woke up, the time being half past seven, and I had finally gotten stable enough to handle everyone in the room.
Adrian still sits by my side, holding my hand, Divine in the chair closest to me, and Admira is at the end of my bed. Ashton is in a chair further away, looking lost and I still worry about what he was going to say earlier, then Danny and Noah are squished together in a bigger chair that's still made for only one person, not caring to be close together.
In the last four hours I think it's been, I've been told everything along the lines of 'We're glad you're okay.' or 'Everything will be okay.' And trust me, I'm happy to have such amazing people with me, but I'm getting tired of hearing these things.
"Visiting hours are almost up," Amy tells everyone as she softly knocks on the door, walking over to check vitals for the hundredth time at least. "And Olivia... A cop and social worker are here to talk to you." Fucking great, why couldn't they have waited till tomorrow? It's already late anyways, why now?
Amy walks out, giving us-me-time and space before we don't have anymore until tomorrow. Adrian frowns, taking my hand in his once again, brushing his thumb over my knuckles. Everyone apart from Adrian and Admira stand, Divine being the only one to risk hugging me, wrapping her arms so gently around me, not daring hurting me in even just the slightest.
"I love you," she whispers and I smile. "I'll be back here the second we get out of school."
"I'll be back too, I might skip so-" I shake my head at Adrian to cut him off, trying to tell him to go to school. "I will be back." He kisses my head softly, leaving me to smile again, wishing he didn't have to walk out of that door along with everyone else apart from Admira who tells them to go on.
"How're you feeling?" She gently pushes back my hair and I know she's asking how I am mentally, not physically. My head is a mess but I shrug which makes her frown. "It's okay to not be okay, love, it's perfectly okay. Because one day, everything will be better again." I slowly smile, taking the hope she's giving me to try and clear my head. "Do you need anything?" I shake my head. "Anything, love. I don't care what it is, I'll get it for you." There's too much to even start with
But I open my arms, needing another hug, needing one of Admira's warm and welcoming, mother-like hugs. She wraps her arms around me so gently too, keeping me in her arms and just this makes me feel a little better.
Someone clears their throat in the doorway though, a man dressed professionally and my eyes land on his thick, rough brown locks. "Olivia Carter?"
Admira pulls away from me, smiling reassuringly as she nods at the man who I assume is a detective. But then a woman is by his side, also dressed professionally with her red hair pulled back so I can't tell which of them is the detective or social worker.
Please don't send me to foster care.
"Do you want me to stay or go for this?" Admira asks but I wonder about everyone else and she knows. "Divine's driving everyone home, don't worry." I nod, needing her support during this if that's allowed.
"I'm detective Jordan Lawson," the man says, smiling warmly at me even given the circumstances. "This is caseworker Sienna Rowan." She smiles warmly at me too, Admira's hand rubbing up and down my back as she sees my nerves skyrocketing as I fidget with anything and everything. "We've just got to ask some questions, Olivia. I know it's already late so we'll try to be quick."
"Mrs. Abara, I know you want to stay but we really need Olivia alone for this," Sienna tells Admira, and I do not at all want her to leave my side but if that's how they do this, I'll just have to deal with it.
"Oh, okay." Admira turns to me with a frown, just kissing my head and turning her frown into a warm smile. "It'll be okay, you've got this."
Admira walks out of the room, not without giving me another reassuring smile though, leaving me with two people whom I do not know at all except that they're the ones working on what I assume is now my case. They both smile warmly at me, taking seats in the chairs beside my bed.
"We're going to get right to it, Olivia, so we can get it done with, okay?" I nod. "Your friends, Admira, have told us what they know but we need your words most of all. But, how're you feeling sweetheart?"
If I get asked this one more time, I might snap. I'm in the hospital because my dad about beat me to death, how else would I be feeling? Whether they mean mentally or physically, they should know I'm horrible either way. But I still just shrug.
"Alright, who did this to you honey?" Jordan asks, needing me to confirm what they've already been told.
Talk, Olivia, this is your chance. Open your fucking mouth. "My dad." My voice is raspy again, my mouth as dry as a desert still.
"Has he done this before?" His voice has a tremor, sympathetic smiles from both Jordan and Sienna aimed at me as they write in their notepads.
"Y-Yes." My hands tremble, the thought of dad coming back and finding out that I've told terrifying me, talking overwhelming me.
"How many times?" I keep forcing the words out, not feeling well enough to write everything or type, just needing to spill it all finally.
"I don't know... Nearly everyday for five, s-six years? Until I got away some weeks ago, then he got me back." Tears roll down my cheeks.
"You got away?" Sienna asks, taking notes of every little detail.
"Yeah... I've been staying with Admira, everything was going good. Until he showed up at school and said that I r-ran away." I sniffle.
"He's the reason for previous hospital visits of yours where you said it was an accident, isn't he?" I nod, remembering past ones where I didn't want to but needed to go to the hospital, remembering the horrible things that happened. "Has he ever..."
Jordan can't say it, so Sienna finishes it for him. "Has he ever sexually abused you, Olivia?" I gulp, shaking my head, thankfully able to say no to that one. He'd beat the shit out of me, but he'd never ever do that to me or anyone in that matter. I hate dad, but I know he's not that disgusting, but he still is either way.
"Why did you never tell anyone?" Jordan seems relieved so watch me say no, then asking the question I hate so much. Everyone thinks it's so easy to just go and tell someone that your own dad is abusing you, but it's way fucking easier said than done.
"I was terrified," I admit, being able to tell the truth feeling good. "I did tell s-someone once, but dad convinced them that I was making things up and I got it b-bad that night."
"Do you have any other family besides Admira you can stay with? I know she's going through trying to adopt you, but it can be a while before that happens. You'll need some next of kin to stay with, make it legal and stuff." I shake my head. Mom's side of the family wasn't much as she came from a tiny family, most relatives passed away or are off on their own and I don't want to bother them. Dad cut off all contact with his side of the family, leaving just me and him, Hadley too when she was still here. "Not even your mom?"
"I haven't seen her since I was eleven." I shrug, although wishing she were here right now... It'd be really nice to have a hug from her.
"She's moved back to this county according to all the files we've got. Maybe she's back?" What? She moved away somewhere further away originally, I know that for sure, but now she's back... What in the fuck.
Is she coming back?
Please mom, please!
"How long ago did she move back?" I ask, hoping they have that much information. With her back in the county, we can easily run into each other somewhere. She does know that, right? Maybe she really is coming back...
Oh my god.
Even if she left for years, left me and Hadley with an abusive dad, I won't mind at all if she comes back into my life. It'd be weird and fucked up, but I need her more than ever right now.
Don't get your hopes up.
"It says nearly a month ago." I nod at Sienna, frowning again. "Do you want me to go to her? Because if not, you'll be placed into foster care until Admira can get through with adopting you."
"You can try." I nod, trying to not get my hopes up on mom, even though I'm going to need her no matter what. I can't be placed into foster care.
Foster care can either be the best thing that ever happens to me, or the worse, absolutely no in between and I don't want to risk it being the worse. The system is so messed up, it'd more than likely be the worst. And who knows how long the adoption process will be, even if Admira said it'd be soon hopefully, it could be months and by then there's no point when I'm 18 in April.
"I'll see what I can do," Sienna says. "That's all the questions we have for now. Do you have any of your own?" I shake my head, knowing if I did I wouldn't ask them anyways. I'm too tired, too shaky after spilling everything, talking to them.
"Okay, here's our cards and numbers if you do have anything to ask or just talk about later on." Jordan sets them on the table beside the bed, both him and Sienna smiling weakly at me. "I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through."
The second they're walking out of the door, Admira walks right back in, coming to my side and only exchanging a few words with Jordan and Sienna. Amy also comes in, checking my vitals for who knows how many damn times now.
"You okay?" These questions are becoming annoying and I know that sounds bad when they're just showing they're caring about me, being there for me, but really they are annoying now. I nod at Admira either way though.
Admira stays with me for every second she can, only leaving when she's kicked out due to visiting hours, even then talking to me and telling me reassuring things. She told me she'd be back the second visiting hours begin tomorrow, and I know she will be.
But once she's gone and I'm all alone, all the worries and overthinking start along with the dread. All of it is about dad of course. I worry that dad will be here when I get out of the hospital, which I don't even want to be in but doctors orders I guess. What if he convinces everyone I'm an impulsive liar and I had just gotten in an accident. What if the courts claim him as innocent?
I don't want to leave this hospital bed now, not wanting to leave this safe place with great security where he won't ever be able to hurt me while I'm here. I don't want to ever leave now, not until he's locked behind bars but even then, I'll be fucking terrified.
I try to get some sleep even though I know I'm going to struggle to fall asleep, and if I do I'll have nightmares for sure, but I need to get my mind off all these worried and overthinking thoughts and the dread of life entirely.
Why is my life like this? Is my last thought before I manage to fall asleep hours later. Why is anyone's life like this? This isn't fair.