Silent Lies - Chapter 37: Chapter 37

"Are you sure you're feeling good enough to go? Because if not, you need to tell me, Olivia," Amy says as she holds the discharge papers for mom and Admira sits by my side. I nod eagerly and she smiles along with mom and Admira. "Here are the papers then, I'll be back in a little bit."
I'm finally fucking leaving this place. Even if I am still in pain, but that's expected, it's nothing too serious to keep me any longer. Everything about my vitals and all looks good so I'm good. Thank god.
"Do you want to stay with Admira longer, or..." mom trails off but I shake my head, eager to meet my step siblings even if I hate meeting new people. Mom said they should be home from their friends houses they went to, I was told, by time we get there. It's just a little past two in the afternoon. "Okay." She smiles.
"You for sure want to go with your mom?" Admira asks again as mom is too focused on the papers, seeming skeptical about it all, as she's asked this a billion times. I nod for the billionth time also. "You can always come over, Olivia."
Mom finishes signing the papers just as I think about everything. It's the 20th, Thanksgiving is in four days, I wonder what's happening with that. There's only two school days this week with Thanksgiving break then too, which is pointless but I know my body won't be able to handle it anyways plus I don't really want to show up to school with how clear it is I got the shit beat out of me. But I've missed so much and now I'm going to have a shit ton of work to catch up on, again.
Amy walks back in, handing me the hospital bag of all my things I came to the hospital in and with. Immediately I grab the friendship bracelet and put it back on my wrist, smiling at the memory of when we all went to the mall weeks ago, the one Danny brought us all.
Then Amy does everything else so I can leave; no more IV's, tubes, wires, oxygen things, everything I'm told I don't need anymore thankfully. Mom helps me to the bathroom, leaving me to struggle to change but I'd prefer to do that on my own. I avoid the mirror, not wanting to see my bruised face or body, but I still catch glimpses of the bruises that I try to ignore.
I also see my scars and I ignore the urges, as this is the longest I've gone without a relapse, wanting it to stay that way even if my thoughts don't.
"Bye Olivia," Amy says with a warm and genuine smile. She wishes me well and I thank her for everything, as she's been the only nurse to seem to actually care, but I can't expect the others too. They get paid to save lives, not nurture them. Although nurturing can save some, I'm sure.
"Are you ready?" Mom asks happily the moment I'm out of the bathroom, in fresh clothes Admira brought me, springing up to help me as my body aches with each step as expected. I nod and she smiles. "Let's go then!"
Mom and Admira stay on both sides of me, and I hold mom's hand for more stability. I'm thankful for the long sleeve shirt and the hoodie I've got over it once we're outside, the ground being covered with snow and the air colder than ever. It must've snowed a bunch when I was sleeping last night.
But also the second we're outside, paranoia takes over me, leaving me on edge. Dad still hasn't been found, he could be out here waiting for me for all I know. I look over my shoulder every other second, terrified. I won't live in peace until he's in prison, but even then, I don't know how I'll live without being paranoid and scared constantly.
"He's not going to get you, love," Admira tells me softly, taking my other hand for assurance. "You're completely safe now, I promise." Mom nods along, agreeing with her.
I go in the car with mom as she follows Admira to her house, leaving us in a comfortable silence. Me and mom have caught up on just about every single thing possible, but we still have been finding things to talk about. She's driving now though, so she focuses on the slick road, the salt the trucks left last night doing absolutely nothing.
"Olivia!" Divine jumps up from her spot on the couch in the living room the second me and Admira walk through the door with mom behind us, I smile when I see Adrian too. "How do you feel now that you're out of the hospital?"
I just give a thumbs up. I am glad I'm out of there, because if I were there another day I might've died of boredom or gone crazy from it. Even with my friends and all coming to visit me and the Tv, there's only so much to talk about and watch. But with all my paranoia and fears, I feel like staying at the hospital would've been better.
"Hi," Adrian says, and I immediately hug him once he stands and is next to me, not only needing the physical support but missing his touch more than ever.
Thankfully, mom and Admira along with Divine give me and Adrian a few minutes alone before I go to mom's house. Most of the time is spent with me just staying in Adrian's arms, refusing to leave his warmth. I feel his lips on my forehead so I finally pull away, resting my hands on his shoulders for support as his stay on my waist.
"You okay?" He asks and I nod, leaning up to kiss his lips and we both flush. "Are you ready to meet these new people?" Everyone keeps asking me if I'm ready for everything, making sure I'm mentally fine and all. I nod so he smiles happily, kissing me once more.
Adrian and Divine help me in my room, or what was my room, to pack up all of my things. They refuse to let me do most of it as I only get to pack up one bag, my body hardly cooperating with me but also being pushed away by the two. Mom and Admira are out in the living room talking a bunch and I wonder what it's about, but I don't let my nosy side come out.
I find a couple of Adrian's hoodies I'd gotten over time, trying to hand them back but he won't let me or take them. "You keep them, they look better on you." That's always his excuse. He kisses my head and goes back to folding some of my shirts, neatly thankfully.
"God, you guys are so cute it's disgusting," Divine says with a frown and I laugh.
"You clearly haven't seen you and Ashton," Adrian says right back.
"Oh, whatever."
I gather the things on the desk, finding the journal Admira had given me. I flip through many pages filled with my rants about anything and everything, knowing I have a shit ton more now that I want to write into it.
I grab Hadley's hoodie I still have before anyone else can, folding it gently. Memories of her flood through my mind, all good up until the day she took her life and the images of her dead pop up, tears pricking my eyes. I shove the hoodie in a bag, shaking away all the memories.
"What's wrong?" Adrian and Divine ask in unison. I shake my head to say nothing, going back to packing what I can.
"How's it going in here?" Admira asks in the doorway half an hour later when we're done. We actually took time to pack my stuff neatly. "Oh, you guys are done?" She smiles.
"Yeah," Divine replies with a frown, knowing I'm about to leave, even if we're more than likely going to see each other tomorrow when that's the plan supposedly.
"Whenever you're ready, love," Admira reminds me. I sit on the bed, looking at the two people I'm closest with.
"Come here." Divine pulls into a gentle hug, being careful with me, and I smile, enjoying her hug as I always do. "You text, or... well." I don't have a phone. "Shit." She pulls away with a puzzled look, not knowing how we're going to talk for now. "You steal your mom's phone or something if you need anything, or just want to talk, I don't care. I'll be there." I smile at her again, hugging her once more.
"Same with me, steal your mom's or whoever's phone and I'll be there easily," Adrian says as he pulls me into a hug next. I don't want either of their hugs to be over with.
I walk to the bathroom, finally checking the mirror for the first time really. God, my face looks horrible. These bruises and all are going to take forever to heal. I run just a finger lightly over my fractured cheekbone, wincing at just that. No amount of makeup can hide this like I want it to, so I deal with it and pull my hair into a low bun so I don't have to deal with it.
"You're beautiful, baby. Don't be thinking anything other than that," Adrian tells me in the doorway, a sad and knowing look on his face. I give him a 'yeah right' look. "You are." I point to the bruises. "Even with... the bruises, yes. I fucking mean that." He walks over and kisses my head, taking my hand in his as we walk back to the room, gathering my bags again.
"Ready?" Mom asks as we walk into the living room with my bags-well, Divine has two and Adrian has the other three, all they allowed me to carry was my school bag. I nod and she grins. "Let's go then!"
Divine and Adrian set my bags in the trunk of mom's car, both of them quickly coming back over to hug me for the millionth time. Admira also comes over for a hug, telling me everything will be okay and that she's just a call away-also stealing Divine and Adrian's line about stealing my mom's phone.
"We'll see you tomorrow?" Divine asks, forcing a smile. I look at mom, wondering if them coming over will be okay, thankful when she nods and Divine and Adrian smile happily. "I love you," she tells me, along with Admira. I mouth I love you back to them.
I almost mouth I love you to Adrian also, stopping myself when I realize it's probably way too fucking early for that. I love Adrian...? I don't know. I'm not sure what love like in a relationship is like just yet, with my little experience, but I know for sure it's getting really damn close to love with him. I'm just not sure how he'd react.
Me and mom stay in the car with another comfortable silence, glancing back and forth at each other every few minutes with big smiles. Mom stops at the pharmacy first for the medicine I've been prescribed, thankfully. My excitement is replaced with anxiety when mom pulls into a driveway leading to a nice ass two story house. The house isn't huge, but it's also not small at all. Oh my.
It's kind of a familiar house, but I shake it away when I've been in the hospital for some time now and out of it with my injuries.
"I'll get those." Mom stops me from grabbing any of my bags from the trunk, somehow managing to deal with them all at once even after I try again. I look and see the other car in the driveway that must be Mason's, it's a nice ass black Audi. "We'll take these to your room, I'm not sure if Noah's back yet. Some days he hangs out with these new friend's he's got for hours, which is fine. I'm really happy he's made friends here." I smile as we walk into the house even though I immediately latch onto mom's arm, my body aching.
The inside of the house was bigger, nice as fuck. There's a hallway from the front door, one side leading into a formal seeming sitting room and the staircase right across from it, where mom leads us. The upstairs is wide, having so many doors. I assume most are bedrooms, making five bedrooms at best, at least one being a bathroom, maybe another a closet or storage space, I don't know. Mom walks us to one of the closest ones and we walk into a bedroom that she tells me is mine.
There's a queen size comfortable looking bed with a nightstand on the side, where the beds pushed to the wall, a cute black desk with a comfortable looking chair, and a matching black dresser that'll store way more than enough. There's two other doors, one being a smaller but still walk-in closet and a connected bathroom. This is fucking amazing.
"Do you like it?" I nod right away and she smiles. "We can get some decorations, whatever you need, to make it more you later." I smile, excited to actually have a room I can personalize, not worry about it being destroyed. We hear the front door open and shut downstairs, two voices coming up the stairs. "Oh, that must be Noah and Cassie."
Here we go.
"Lauren!" A happy little girl in a purple dress comes running to mom when we walk out of my new room, with long blonde hair and big blue eyes. She's adorable. She's Cassie, I assume.
Then I see Noah-our friend, Noah. Not a new boy named Noah that I've never met until now who's now my step brother. Our-mine, Adrian, Ashton, Danny, and Divine's-shy and overthinking Noah.
Oh what the fuck.
I should've fucking figured that one out on my own, but I didn't. Not one bit.
He moved up here from South Carolina because his step mom wanted to and mom mentioned being in South Carolina for a while, his name is Noah then his last name is Ford, and mom said he's 15. Duh!
I really must have not been paying attention and putting the clues together-as we've literally fucking dropped Noah home sometimes.
You're a fucking dumbass.
It's not my fault I was thinking I was just out of it.
"Olivia?" He stares at me, wide eyed and jaw dropped. "I should've known." So should have I.
"Should've known what?" Mom asks before she can even introduce me to Noah or Cassie, confused.
"I know Olivia from school, she's friends with Danny, the guy I've told you about." A grin spreads across mom's face. One also spreads across mine, after seeing his face flush with the mention of Danny. "She's also my friend." And step sister now.
Thank god honestly, because Noah could've turned out to be an asshole I'd have to live with or anything. This Noah is the complete opposite of an asshole.
"Who is she?" The little girl asks mom quietly, looking up at her. Noah still stares at me, shocked, but there's a smile pulling at his lips.
"She's Olivia, your step sister. We've talked about this," mom tells Cassie with a smile.
"Sister?" She squeals, excited to have a sister. "I've always wanted a sister!" Cassie runs over to me and I tense when her arms wrap around my waist, mom's face along with Noah's scared for my reaction, but my body relaxes quickly, hugging the little girl back. Mom and Noah relax also.
Memories play again of Hadley, wondering what she'd think about this situation. But I quickly shake them away before I start crying.
"Well, Olive, that's Cassie and you know Noah." Mom still wears a smile, as Cassie pulls away with one of her own. "I'll let you three talk." Mom smiles, leaving us to all know each other more-me and Cassie, at least.
"Holy shit," Noah mumbles and I laugh as Cassie scolds him for cursing. "I can't believe you're my step sister now." I nod, agreeing. "H-How're you feeling?" I frown, hating this question again. I give him a thumbs up.
"Do you want to see my room?" Cassie asks excitedly and I nod, letting her take hold of my hand and drag me to her room that's right across from mine. Her room is shockingly clean for a nine year old, just the bed being messy from sleep. "We're gonna have so much fun together!" I wince when she still holds onto my hand, and my chest along with my lungs burn, so I sit down on her bed.
"Cass, hey, leave her be for a minute." Noah's face covers in worry as my arms wrap around my torso, but I try to tell them it's okay.
"What happened to your face?" I know Cassie is just asking about the bruises that cover my face, but I still frown with the question.
"Leave her alone, Cass. You don't just ask people that, at least make it sound better, not like you're judging them," Noah scolds her and I stand, flashbacks crashing through my mind unexpectedly.
"I'm sorry!" Cassie tells me and I shake my head to tell her it's okay, walking to my room, already needing a break. Everything has been becoming too much too quickly lately.
"A-Are you okay, Liv?" Noah asks in a rush, following me into the room as I sit on the bed. I nod. "She didn't mean it like that." I nod again, to say I know. "She's..." Just a kid who doesn't realize stuff, I know is what he'd say but doesn't.
I jump when I feel something rub against my ankles, looking down with wide eyes and spotting the white fur ball-an adorable fucking cat. Noah busts out laughing from my reaction as I hear the cat meow, seeking my attention that I give to her right away, picking her up in my arms and feeling how fucking soft and fluffy she is.
"That's my cat, Binx." Noah smiles as Binx cuddles in my arms, purring. "She hates everyone... congratulations." I grin, just as the white fur ball shoves her head into my hand, demanding more attention that I give her without hesitation. "She's an attention seeker, so get used to that."
Noah sits in the desk chair across from me and silence washes over us, thankfully a good one, not uncomfortable or anything. I take a minute, pushing the flashbacks out of my mind, having something else to focus on when a grin takes over Noah's face. I give him a questioning look.
"We're... siblings now." I nod, smiling once again. "I should've known. She said your name was Olivia. She didn't mention anything to me about your uh... dad, but I overheard her talking to my dad about it. I had convinced myself it was just a really weird coincidence, but here we are..." Here we are indeed.
"I'm home!" Me and Noah turn to the open door to my room when we hear another voice call from downstairs followed by small footsteps running to the stairs-Cassie.
"Daddy's home!" She calls to us and my nerves go up again. I've been more nervous about meeting Mason more than Noah and Cassie, after not having any good experience with my father in years.
"Ready to meet him?" Noah asks me with an encouraging smile, I nod, standing up with Binx in my arms but she wants down, so I put her down then she runs off somewhere, and taking a moment for my body so it doesn't ache more than it already is.
Me and Noah walk downstairs together. I spot who must be Mason at the bottom of the stairs with a chatty Cassie. He listens to every word she says until he notices me-thankfully he doesn't say a single word or make a face over all of the bruises I have. He has the same light brown hair as Noah, looking like an older version of him.
"Olivia?" I nod and he smiles, loosening his tie. "I'm Mason, nice to meet you." He holds his hand out and I hesitate for a minute, then take it, happy when nothing bad happens. Mom walks into the hallway with a big smile.
"I'm making cheeseburgers for dinner," she tells us and as if on cue, my stomach growls, thankful when no one hears it or at least no one says anything about it. Mom comes to Mason's side, saying, "Noah and Olivia already knew each other from school, they're friends."
"Oh, really?" Noah nods, happily going on to explain more to his father. I need a way to tell Adrian that our friend is now my fucking step brother, Divine too, although I'm sure Noah will be texting all of them here soon.
Mason does small talk with me, asking me about stuff, mostly school and just basic things about my life when I'm sure mom has told him just about everything she could've, that I can thankfully just give nods or shakes of my head to answer or hand gestures. Mom starts on dinner, making Mason take over as she pulls me aside after running upstairs for something.
"I know you probably want to tell your friends about Noah, and you do need a phone in case you need to call me or Mason or any of that stuff." A smile pulls at my lips but falters when it hurts as mom hands me a brand new phone, oh my god. "I already put in Admira and Divine's phone numbers for you." I sign thank you a million times and hug her, more than thankful. "No need to thank me, Olive."
When we're all settled at the table when mom and Mason finished making dinner, Mason tells me more things I've not learned about yet, catching me up even more on mom's life. Noah sits next to me, texting Danny with his phone under the table. Our friends were shocked to find out about me and Noah being siblings now, but they were happy too-Adrian mentioned to me he'd been figuring that out. They were all also relieved that I have a phone now.
"When I met your mother five years ago, I knew that she was the one. She-" I tune out the lovey-dovey love story Mason was telling me, not needing nor wanting to hear it. I am happy still though, that moms found someone way fucking better than dad.
Wait... five years ago they met? Five years is how long they've been together? Five whole fucking years that she's had a whole other family? She's been taking care of a whole other family, but only now came back for me and Hadley? Did they know about me and Hadley?
I don't know why all of this is just now snapping into my head.
I just thought maybe this was all somewhat recent, mom and Mason, maybe just a year or two they've been together if that and she's been working her way back up here. But no, it's been a whole five years. Either way though, now I think, she shouldn't have left in the first place and even taken a day away from her family she created.
What the fuck.
"You okay?" Noah asks when Mason's saying something to mom. I nod right away, snapping back to this harsh reality.
Mason goes on more, telling me things I really don't care about but I listen anyway as I eat my two cheeseburgers, thankful that I can eat both when they taste so fucking good. It feels good to actually be able to eat without the worry nagging at me that dad is going to find out. I glance at mom a few times, seeing how happy she looks, wondering what the fuck took her so long to come back for me and Hadley.
You only just now realize?
Fuck off.
After dinner Noah and Cassie go off to do their homework, mom and Mason do the dishes while constantly checking on me, when I go to my room, wanting a shower even if my body's more than likely going to make me sit on the shower floor, unable to handle standing for as long as a shower will take me. I haven't had an actual shower in what's probably now a week, I need one. And I need somewhere away from mom and Mason for a bit. I nearly forget about the cast on my hand, as I've gotten used to it, having to go to mom for something to cover it.
After a nice but still painful shower thanks to my body, I brush through my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, and so much more with all of the toiletries that were put into my bathroom. I debate on texting Adrian when I collapse onto my bed, my body needing a break, to tell him about mom being with Mason for five fucking years, but decide against it. In the last couple months, Adrian's put up with more than enough of my ranting. I'm surprised it hasn't annoyed him, and if it has he doesn't let it show. Instead I text to see what he's up to.
I rummage through my school bag, more like my life bag really now as I use it anywhere, trying to find my journal, the one Admira gave me, deciding to vent there instead. But, I find my blade first.
Fuck.
I'm all alone right now, flashbacks have kept coming through my mind throughout the day whether they be of dad or Hadley, the news about mom and Mason being together for five years keeps repeating in my mind, and now my urges are higher than ever.
Don't you fucking do it, this is the longest you've ever gone without relapsing. Keep it that way despite everything.
"Olivia?" I shove the blade back in my bag, annoyed when I now find the journal like I should've minutes ago, when Noah knocks on my door, thankfully not just barging in. "Can I come in?" I walk over to the door, unable to form the word yes, opening it for him.
I plop back down on the bed again, moving the journal to the nightstand, and looking at all of my bags on the ground that I still need to unpack. Ugh. I only just rummaged through them for the clothes I needed after my shower.
"Want some help?" Noah asks, motioning to my bags with a smile. I nod, mouthing please. "Let's get started then." Binx walks in then too, coming to my lap.