Silent Lies - Chapter 40: Chapter 40
You are reading Silent Lies, Chapter 40: Chapter 40. Read more chapters of Silent Lies.
Today's fucking Thanksgiving, already. I mean yeah, just hardly two days can pass quickly, but still. It also doesn't at all feel like Thanksgiving.
First though, as it's just a little past nine in the morning, me and mom are going to Hadley's grave... We were going to go yesterday, but things came up. Or maybe that was mom's excuse, because I can tell it's affecting her. A lot.
I keep pulling down the sleeves of my jacket, the heat in the car not doing nearly enough. All the snow has melted on the ground, but it's still cold as fuck out. And to think it's just the beginning of winter, great. It beats sweating buckets during the summer, though. Also to think there's way colder states than North Carolina, fuck that.
"You ready?" Mom asks hesitantly when we get out of the car, looking at the graveyard. I nod, going over to hold her hand as I lead the way.
Mom focuses on the flowers she had brought, not stopping even when I do so; I pull her hand to get her attention. She turns in the same direction I'm in, looking down at Hadley's small gravestone, taking it all in.
Hadley Grace Carter
July 16th, 2001 ~ August 3rd, 2016
She lowers herself down, sitting on the ground and not caring about the mud getting on her jeans. I do the same, holding her hand to help her, knowing how hard this is for her whether she admits it or not. Her glossy eyes tell me how hard it is.
"She was only 15." Mom's voice cracks and she quickly covers herself, not letting me see as she wipes away her tears.
I look around the graveyard, paranoia taking over me when I think about dad as he's the reason she was only 15 when she committed, as he dragged her over the edge of life. He's still yet to be found, so I'm still terrified of being out of the house. Even though I know the graveyard is the last place he'd show up at.
Mom places the flowers over the gravestone, blinking away more tears that I know are desperate to fall. Mom doesn't say anything else and I know she wants to be alone to say anything at all, but I wait a few more minutes before I go, silently saying some of my own words to Hadley.
I still wonder what she would think about mom being back if she were still here. Although I know things would be a lot different-Hadley always talked about if we weren't away from dad by the time she was 18, she'd go and adopt me on her own, or she'd try and get emancipated by 16. I always wonder how things would be right now if she was still here.
"D-Do you think you can give me some time alone, Olive? I need to..." Mom can't finish her sentence as her voice cracks, and I know what she needs. I don't hesitate to get up, knowing she needs to say some things with privacy. I say my goodbye and love you as I always do when I come here, walking back to the car.
I make a huge mistake when I look back at mom when I'm a little further away, when I see her finally breaking down. That's what finally makes my own tears fall.
Ten or so minutes pass and my paranoia rises more and more with each passing second, so when I see mom walking back up to the car I'm thankful. I wipe my tear stained cheeks, getting up from where I'd been sitting on the hood of the car, seeing mom's bloodshot and puffy eyes. I pull her into a hug I know she needs, one that I also need. She relaxes into the hug, sniffling. She kisses my head, cradling me closer than ever.
"It's o-okay mom," I struggle to get the words out as I rub her back, trying my best to comfort her. "It's okay."
"I'm so sorry, Olivia." She pulls away, turning around so I can't see her now even puffier and bloodshot eyes as she wipes away these tears.
"Stop apologizing, mom." She shakes her head, finally facing me again. "This isn't-"
"If I hadn't left you and-"
"Don't you dare blame this on yourself," I croak out, my eyes welling up with tears again. "This was dad's fault, not yours."
"But really, i-if I hadn't left-"
"Don't, mom. It's not your fault you trusted dad to take care of us after you... left. You can't blame yourself for that." She doesn't say anything else about it, blinking away more tears.
"Did she leave a... note?" I hesitate for a few long seconds before I finally nod. She nods too before making her way to the driver's door and I make my way to the passenger side. She doesn't say anything about wanting to read it, and I'm sure she can't handle that, not right now at least, so I say nothing else about it.
The drive is quiet and not in a comfortable way. We're both on the verge of another breakdown, holding each other's hands for comfort. When we walk into the house that smells fucking delicious with all the food being cooked for Thanksgiving, mom hugs me once more before I walk upstairs to my room.
I change into another pair of light blue jeans with rips at the knees, after my previous pair got mud on them. I take off the new pink sweater mom brought me, leaving me in a white tank top as I go to the bathroom. I gather the little bit of makeup I have, walking back out to my room and sitting in front of the mirror on my floor, even though I don't really like looking at myself, not now at least when I am still covered in bruises.
The bruises and swelling, along with the pain even, are going down a lot, but they're still very visible. I gently put on concealer and foundation to cover what I can, which isn't much at all when you can still see the bruises. I open the new mascara and eyeliner, trying to make myself look better so people don't focus on my bruises. The couple times I've gone with mom to the store now, I've gotten so many stares of concern.
I still sit in front of the mirror twenty minutes after I'm done with my makeup, contemplating something I haven't been able to do in a long time. Noah walks into my room with Binx following right behind him, and he's already eating a dinner roll.
"What're you doing?" Binx makes her way to me, settling in my lap.
"Do you think you can cut hair and not fuck it up?" I really should not be trusting anyone to touch my hair, but I want it cut, and now. I'm definitely the last person who should be cutting hair too, I'd definitely fuck it up.
"Not really." I glare at him, turning back to the mirror. "I'm joking... kinda."
"You're not helping me, at all." I smile down at Binx as she shoves her head into my hand as she always does, wanting attention.
"You want me to cut your hair?" He finishes the roll, eyes wide at me as I nod. "Why? Your hair is so long? How short are we talking?"
"My hair may be long, but it's mostly dead and split ends. At least to the middle of my back." My hair goes past my ass now, making it difficult to deal with. I just could never actually get my hair cut in years with dad around.
Dad's still out there.
Stop reminding me.
"Well... I'll cut it?" Do I seriously want to trust Noah with my hair..? Fuck it.
I get my hair wet first to make things easier, not having waves and all that might make it uneven when he cuts it. Noah grabs the most professional seeming scissors in the house, coming back up to my bathroom. No one knows we're cutting my hair, and we don't know how it's going to turn out, so it'll be a surprise to everyone, including us.
"Noah!" I yell at him, holding back on slapping him when he acts like he was about to cut my hair all the way up to my scalp, not finding it funny as he does. I just want my hair shorter, not to be bald.
"Where did you and Lauren go?" He asks, going serious as he concentrates on not fucking my hair up, only cutting a few centimeters at a time to see what I like.
"We uh... went to my sister's grave." He pauses, seeming to regret asking as he apologizes. "It's been hard on her..."
"I thought something was wrong when I went down to the kitchen." He frowns, pausing to show me where my hair is now. "You sister... she..." He trails off.
"Let's not talk about it, please?" He nods, doing just that and going back to cutting my hair. Today's Thanksgiving, I don't want to cry anymore than I already have today.
"Okay... this is about the middle of your back." I part my hair, bringing it in front to see it shorter than it's been in a long time. I grin, loving it and thankful that Noah didn't fuck it up, it just needs a few fixes I'll do on my own.
"Thank you," I tell him and he smiles, watching as I fix my hair up a bit with Binx at my feet.
It's past noon by time me and Noah finish with my hair, having it look better than it has in a long time. I pull on my sweater again and carry Binx with me downstairs with Noah, walking into the kitchen where we find mom, Mason, and Cassie making food for tonight.
"Hi kids." Mason smiles, looking at my hair for a few moments before shaking it off. Mom looks up, her previously puffy and red eyes bright again, about to say something until she realizes I cut my hair, shocked.
"Did you cut your hair?" She's more than likely confused, not expecting us to have done that.
"I did, actually. She just fixed it a little," Noah chimes in happily, Mason's eyebrows raising when he hears that.
"You cut her hair?" Mason asks, shocked too when Noah nods eagerly. Mason looks at me, questioning. "You trusted him to cut your hair?" I nod. "Olivia, you've got more trust than I ever will." I laugh when he shakes his head, going back to the food.
"Oh, come on! I did really good." Noah makes me turn around and show them. "See?"
"He did actually do good," mom says, running her fingers through my hair. I turn back around and find Noah nodding with a cocky smirk. "Good job, Noah."
"You look really pretty, Olivia." Cassie smiles at me from her spot on the counter where she's helping mom with the turkey. I smile too in thanks with flushed cheeks, coming over and ruffling her hair.
I stand at the top of the staircase later on, my nerves up as Mason's family is arriving, so many more people downstairs than usual that I've got to meet. I can't stay in my room forever, unfortunately. I've been texting Adrian to try and calm myself, Divine too, but they're both with family so I've got to stop bothering them.
"Liv, come on." Noah rushes up the steps, doing another attempt at assuring me it's okay. This is my new family, so I really need to get used to it, but it's so hard.
How will they look at me with the still visible bruises on my face even with the makeup? Do they know that mom left? What do they think about the situation? Will they like and accept me as another member of their family? Too many fucking questions.
The only thing really luring me to go down there is the food. I'm so hungry now.
"Fine." I finally follow Noah down the steps to the many voices downstairs, the smell of delicious ass food filling my nostrils. There's a lot of people, well maybe fifteen but still, so I hide behind Noah as I keep following him over to mom and Mason.
"Olivia!" Mom says happily, seeing that I've finally come down. Too many pairs of eyes land on me then, making me want to run back to my room. Mason is also by my side.
"Hey, kiddo," Mason starts with a warm smile, an elderly pair coming up to us and Noah grins at them. I assume they're Noah's grandparents, Mason's parents, my now step grandparents, from how he acts with them. "These are my parents." He gestures to the older lady first, then the man. "Joyce and Ethan."
I smile and wave in greeting, thankful when they don't at all seem offended at my lack of enthusiasm and social skills when my nerves are skyrocketing-I assume mom and Mason have already mentioned the fact that I don't talk, not always at least, not when I'm just meeting them. Smiling and waving becomes my signature move for the night when I meet too many other people to keep up with.
I meet Mason's siblings-Noah's aunts and uncles, my step aunts and uncles-along with cousins of Noah. Mason's siblings are younger than him, making their kids younger than both me and Noah, Cassie's age, so we don't really fit in anywhere. Not with the little kids or the grown adults. The second we're told to start getting food, we do so and go up to Noah's room, away from everyone downstairs, Binx following us.
"Are you going to Adrian's or Divine's, anyone's house after this?" Noah asks me, digging right into his food.
"I don't know yet." I want to see Adrian, but I also want to see Divine. I'd also like to see Danny or Ashton. It's so nice actually having friends.
Me and Noah fall into a comfortable silence while eating our food, Binx sleeping at the end of my bed. I check my phone, seeing texts from everyone wishing a happy Thanksgiving, and Admira checking in on me. I think if I do go anywhere later, it'll be to see Admira and Divine first.
"Did you and Lauren talk?" Noah asks suddenly. "You don't have to say-"
"We did." I'm sure he's asking as he can sense something has changed between us. "We're... okay now. We're not just perfect again but at least we've talked about... you know."
Noah nods and I don't give any specific details about me and mom, not wanting to talk about all of that right now. The moments right now are really good, today's a really good day-apart from this morning, for obvious reasons. I don't want it to be ruined when that can be avoided. Although, I wonder about Noah's mom. I haven't heard anything about her at all and I don't want to just ask, knowing that's not right.
"Have they mentioned my mom to you?" Noah asks, as if he knew what I was thinking. I shake my head. "Oh, okay. I didn't know if they did or not..." He trails off.
"Is she... Where..." I trail off, regretting when I even started to ask about her.
"She's dead," he says casually and my heart sinks. "She passed while giving birth to Cassie."
"Noah, I'm so-"
"It's okay." He smiles, scarfing down some turkey.
"You know, if you ever need to talk about literally anything, I'm here." He smiles again at me, silently thanking me, as I give him an assuring smile also.
"Same goes for you, Liv." In just the little time we've had together, me and Noah have definitely become siblings. I have a little brother now...
"Okay, you guys call if you need anything at all. Got it?" Me and Noah nod at mom as we stand outside Divine and Admira's house. Mom hugs me and kisses my head, ruffling Noah's hair. Mason smiles warmly at us.
"You guys act like we're going across the country for months," Noah says, rolling his eyes. In reality, we're just staying the night at Divine's, which isn't far away from mom and Mason's house. Adrian, Danny, and Ashton are all coming over too.
"They'll be fine, Lauren," Admira tells mom. Things between them seem better, not tension filled. They must've also talked finally. Or maybe they're just putting on an act for us.
"Okay. Love you guys," mom says, me and Noah saying it back-Mason's eyes crinkle in happiness when he hears my voice for the first time ever.
"Good job, kiddo," he ruffles my hair lightly before me and Noah finally go into the house.
"Hi, Liv!" Divine walks out of the kitchen, the house still smelling like various different foods. "I'm making another éclair cake, we hogged the one we made down, because I know it's your favorite. Butterscotch, specifically." I grin, excited to have that delicious fucking cake soon for the first time in forever, throwing my arms around Divine.
"Olivia Carter," I hear a familiar voice say and I turn around immediately. Grandma Lena wears a huge smile, lifting her glasses. "Get over here baby, I've not seen you in forever."
Yeah, because of dad.
"Hi," I say without hesitation. My fears with talking practically disintegrate with being here, at Divine and Admira's house. It completely feels like home here. Not one bad thing has ever happened in this house for me. Not one person in this house has ever hurt me in even the slightest way here. I grew up in this house practically, a home away from home, or dad's house. Now a home away from mom's house.
With me and Divine being best friends since we were way younger, I've met plenty of her family, I know just about all of them. Thanks to dad, I haven't been able to see them in years. Grandma Lena is definitely one of my favorite people. She hugs me gently, and I'm sure she knows about my certain injuries because she never hugs this gently, especially when this is our first reunion in a long time. I'm not sure if Divine's family knows about dad, but if they do they don't bring it up at all thankfully, or grandma Lena doesn't-she seems to be the last person still here after their Thanksgiving.
"And who is this?" Lena pulls away from our hug, looking at Noah curiously.
"That is my step brother," I say as Admira hears me talk, her own eyes crinkling when she hears me talking again.
"I'm Noah," he holds his hand out with a stupid smile.
"You cut your hair?" Divine asks, her eyes wide when she runs her fingers through my shorter hair. I nod happily.
"Technically, I did," Noah of course has to chime in to say.
"You did?" Divine asks, shocked as he nods. Divine turns to me. "You trusted him with your hair?"
"I did," I confirm, hearing the door open and close again.
"Maybe I should go to cosmetology school," Noah says seriously, actually thinking about it.
"Cosmetology school?" Danny asks, walking right over to Noah and hugging him. I grin when Ashton and Adrian follow right behind Danny, walking to Adrian and immediately pulling him into a hug. There's so many people around, but it's all the ones I know and am completely safe around, my nerves not skyrocketing as they usually would.
"Hi, baby," Adrian whispers in my ear and I flush, keeping my head in his chest. When we pull away he quickly leans down to kiss me. I turn and find Adrian's parents in the doorway, not knowing what to do.
"They just walked right in," Adrian's mom, Daina, says nervously. Daina smiles at me, Sean waving at me enthusiastically.
"I think my parents are like... somewhat together again?" Adrian says to me, looking away from his parents.
"Is that a good or bad thing?" Adrian's parents had gotten divorced when he were little, he told me, as they just weren't working out and didn't want to stay together until things got bad. But with the way I see them together in a room for the first time, I can tell there's definitely still something between them.
"Oh, definitely a good thing." I smile then, happy for him and his parents if they really are becoming something again.
"You cut her hair?" Ashton asks, dragging my attention back when he notices my hair, also shocked.
"Who cut whose hair?" Adrian asks, confused.
"Noah cut Olivia's hair," Danny says, everyone's attention going to my hair, apart from grandma Lena and Admira who are talking to Adrian's parents who drove them all here.
"Why would you trust him?" Ashton asks, shocked.
"It's starting to hurt my feelings with how much you guys would doubt me with cutting hair." Noah forces a pout.
"He did good, so I'm glad I trusted him before myself," I stand up for Noah.
"Thank you," Noah sighs at me.
Adrians's mom pulls us aside, with his dad also, away from everyone else to where they can talk to just us. Adrian still admires my shorter hair, whispering to me how pretty I look and my stomach flutters so damn much.
"Olivia, how're you feeling?" Daina asks me, Sean smiling warmly. I give a thumbs up, mostly actually meaning it, unable to get the words out. "Good, good." She smiles, and I wonder about her next words. "Olivia, we all want to have dinner, like we were supposed to..." but then my dad nearly killed me. "Me and Sean, this time. So we can really get to know you."
I nod with a smile, liking that plan very much. Adrian grins too, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as Sean speaks up. "How about the 3rd? Do you think that'll work for you, Olivia?" I nod, even though I need to check with mom first. I'm sure mom will be okay with it completely, though.
I wake up at who knows what time later on, laying on top of Adrian on the small couch in the living room. Credits to whatever was the last movie we watched keep playing on the Tv-we decided on binge watching plenty of movies for the night. I look and find Divine and Ashton cuddled up together on the floor with the area they made for themselves, Noah and Danny also cuddled up on the other couch, except theirs looks less intentional.
I sit up, yawning, as Adrian's arms stay wrapped around my waist. I grin, trying to get his arms off me so I can move but he's just not letting that happen, even as he's asleep.
"Stop moving," he groans, finally waking up, only tightening his arms around me more. "Please."
"I'm uncomfortable," I tell him, prying his arms off me to move. Me trying to find a new comfortable sleeping position results in me rolling right off the couch, not realizing I was the one on the edge. "Fuck," I hiss, rolling onto my back.
"Are you okay?" Adrian's completely awake now, sitting up and helping me back up as I groan, my hips aching. Danny stirs in his sleep, making me and Adrian go silent.
"I'm fine." I plop back down on the couch next to Adrian, rubbing my hip, hoping the sting goes away. Adrian stifles a laugh and I glare at him, but unable to hold back my own laugh at the fact that I rolled off the couch. "Let's go to the guest room, so I have less of a chance of rolling off something again."
"Deal." Adrian kisses my head, grabbing my hand to lead us to what was my room while Admira let me live here, keeping the door open like we were told to if we ended up in the room.
"Really?" Adrian asks when he sees me with a book pulled up on my phone, starting to read as I'm now wide awake with his arms wrapped around me from behind.
"Yes, really." He can't make fun of me now, as he starts reading the book with me.
This is the best Thanksgiving I've had in a while.
First though, as it's just a little past nine in the morning, me and mom are going to Hadley's grave... We were going to go yesterday, but things came up. Or maybe that was mom's excuse, because I can tell it's affecting her. A lot.
I keep pulling down the sleeves of my jacket, the heat in the car not doing nearly enough. All the snow has melted on the ground, but it's still cold as fuck out. And to think it's just the beginning of winter, great. It beats sweating buckets during the summer, though. Also to think there's way colder states than North Carolina, fuck that.
"You ready?" Mom asks hesitantly when we get out of the car, looking at the graveyard. I nod, going over to hold her hand as I lead the way.
Mom focuses on the flowers she had brought, not stopping even when I do so; I pull her hand to get her attention. She turns in the same direction I'm in, looking down at Hadley's small gravestone, taking it all in.
Hadley Grace Carter
July 16th, 2001 ~ August 3rd, 2016
She lowers herself down, sitting on the ground and not caring about the mud getting on her jeans. I do the same, holding her hand to help her, knowing how hard this is for her whether she admits it or not. Her glossy eyes tell me how hard it is.
"She was only 15." Mom's voice cracks and she quickly covers herself, not letting me see as she wipes away her tears.
I look around the graveyard, paranoia taking over me when I think about dad as he's the reason she was only 15 when she committed, as he dragged her over the edge of life. He's still yet to be found, so I'm still terrified of being out of the house. Even though I know the graveyard is the last place he'd show up at.
Mom places the flowers over the gravestone, blinking away more tears that I know are desperate to fall. Mom doesn't say anything else and I know she wants to be alone to say anything at all, but I wait a few more minutes before I go, silently saying some of my own words to Hadley.
I still wonder what she would think about mom being back if she were still here. Although I know things would be a lot different-Hadley always talked about if we weren't away from dad by the time she was 18, she'd go and adopt me on her own, or she'd try and get emancipated by 16. I always wonder how things would be right now if she was still here.
"D-Do you think you can give me some time alone, Olive? I need to..." Mom can't finish her sentence as her voice cracks, and I know what she needs. I don't hesitate to get up, knowing she needs to say some things with privacy. I say my goodbye and love you as I always do when I come here, walking back to the car.
I make a huge mistake when I look back at mom when I'm a little further away, when I see her finally breaking down. That's what finally makes my own tears fall.
Ten or so minutes pass and my paranoia rises more and more with each passing second, so when I see mom walking back up to the car I'm thankful. I wipe my tear stained cheeks, getting up from where I'd been sitting on the hood of the car, seeing mom's bloodshot and puffy eyes. I pull her into a hug I know she needs, one that I also need. She relaxes into the hug, sniffling. She kisses my head, cradling me closer than ever.
"It's o-okay mom," I struggle to get the words out as I rub her back, trying my best to comfort her. "It's okay."
"I'm so sorry, Olivia." She pulls away, turning around so I can't see her now even puffier and bloodshot eyes as she wipes away these tears.
"Stop apologizing, mom." She shakes her head, finally facing me again. "This isn't-"
"If I hadn't left you and-"
"Don't you dare blame this on yourself," I croak out, my eyes welling up with tears again. "This was dad's fault, not yours."
"But really, i-if I hadn't left-"
"Don't, mom. It's not your fault you trusted dad to take care of us after you... left. You can't blame yourself for that." She doesn't say anything else about it, blinking away more tears.
"Did she leave a... note?" I hesitate for a few long seconds before I finally nod. She nods too before making her way to the driver's door and I make my way to the passenger side. She doesn't say anything about wanting to read it, and I'm sure she can't handle that, not right now at least, so I say nothing else about it.
The drive is quiet and not in a comfortable way. We're both on the verge of another breakdown, holding each other's hands for comfort. When we walk into the house that smells fucking delicious with all the food being cooked for Thanksgiving, mom hugs me once more before I walk upstairs to my room.
I change into another pair of light blue jeans with rips at the knees, after my previous pair got mud on them. I take off the new pink sweater mom brought me, leaving me in a white tank top as I go to the bathroom. I gather the little bit of makeup I have, walking back out to my room and sitting in front of the mirror on my floor, even though I don't really like looking at myself, not now at least when I am still covered in bruises.
The bruises and swelling, along with the pain even, are going down a lot, but they're still very visible. I gently put on concealer and foundation to cover what I can, which isn't much at all when you can still see the bruises. I open the new mascara and eyeliner, trying to make myself look better so people don't focus on my bruises. The couple times I've gone with mom to the store now, I've gotten so many stares of concern.
I still sit in front of the mirror twenty minutes after I'm done with my makeup, contemplating something I haven't been able to do in a long time. Noah walks into my room with Binx following right behind him, and he's already eating a dinner roll.
"What're you doing?" Binx makes her way to me, settling in my lap.
"Do you think you can cut hair and not fuck it up?" I really should not be trusting anyone to touch my hair, but I want it cut, and now. I'm definitely the last person who should be cutting hair too, I'd definitely fuck it up.
"Not really." I glare at him, turning back to the mirror. "I'm joking... kinda."
"You're not helping me, at all." I smile down at Binx as she shoves her head into my hand as she always does, wanting attention.
"You want me to cut your hair?" He finishes the roll, eyes wide at me as I nod. "Why? Your hair is so long? How short are we talking?"
"My hair may be long, but it's mostly dead and split ends. At least to the middle of my back." My hair goes past my ass now, making it difficult to deal with. I just could never actually get my hair cut in years with dad around.
Dad's still out there.
Stop reminding me.
"Well... I'll cut it?" Do I seriously want to trust Noah with my hair..? Fuck it.
I get my hair wet first to make things easier, not having waves and all that might make it uneven when he cuts it. Noah grabs the most professional seeming scissors in the house, coming back up to my bathroom. No one knows we're cutting my hair, and we don't know how it's going to turn out, so it'll be a surprise to everyone, including us.
"Noah!" I yell at him, holding back on slapping him when he acts like he was about to cut my hair all the way up to my scalp, not finding it funny as he does. I just want my hair shorter, not to be bald.
"Where did you and Lauren go?" He asks, going serious as he concentrates on not fucking my hair up, only cutting a few centimeters at a time to see what I like.
"We uh... went to my sister's grave." He pauses, seeming to regret asking as he apologizes. "It's been hard on her..."
"I thought something was wrong when I went down to the kitchen." He frowns, pausing to show me where my hair is now. "You sister... she..." He trails off.
"Let's not talk about it, please?" He nods, doing just that and going back to cutting my hair. Today's Thanksgiving, I don't want to cry anymore than I already have today.
"Okay... this is about the middle of your back." I part my hair, bringing it in front to see it shorter than it's been in a long time. I grin, loving it and thankful that Noah didn't fuck it up, it just needs a few fixes I'll do on my own.
"Thank you," I tell him and he smiles, watching as I fix my hair up a bit with Binx at my feet.
It's past noon by time me and Noah finish with my hair, having it look better than it has in a long time. I pull on my sweater again and carry Binx with me downstairs with Noah, walking into the kitchen where we find mom, Mason, and Cassie making food for tonight.
"Hi kids." Mason smiles, looking at my hair for a few moments before shaking it off. Mom looks up, her previously puffy and red eyes bright again, about to say something until she realizes I cut my hair, shocked.
"Did you cut your hair?" She's more than likely confused, not expecting us to have done that.
"I did, actually. She just fixed it a little," Noah chimes in happily, Mason's eyebrows raising when he hears that.
"You cut her hair?" Mason asks, shocked too when Noah nods eagerly. Mason looks at me, questioning. "You trusted him to cut your hair?" I nod. "Olivia, you've got more trust than I ever will." I laugh when he shakes his head, going back to the food.
"Oh, come on! I did really good." Noah makes me turn around and show them. "See?"
"He did actually do good," mom says, running her fingers through my hair. I turn back around and find Noah nodding with a cocky smirk. "Good job, Noah."
"You look really pretty, Olivia." Cassie smiles at me from her spot on the counter where she's helping mom with the turkey. I smile too in thanks with flushed cheeks, coming over and ruffling her hair.
I stand at the top of the staircase later on, my nerves up as Mason's family is arriving, so many more people downstairs than usual that I've got to meet. I can't stay in my room forever, unfortunately. I've been texting Adrian to try and calm myself, Divine too, but they're both with family so I've got to stop bothering them.
"Liv, come on." Noah rushes up the steps, doing another attempt at assuring me it's okay. This is my new family, so I really need to get used to it, but it's so hard.
How will they look at me with the still visible bruises on my face even with the makeup? Do they know that mom left? What do they think about the situation? Will they like and accept me as another member of their family? Too many fucking questions.
The only thing really luring me to go down there is the food. I'm so hungry now.
"Fine." I finally follow Noah down the steps to the many voices downstairs, the smell of delicious ass food filling my nostrils. There's a lot of people, well maybe fifteen but still, so I hide behind Noah as I keep following him over to mom and Mason.
"Olivia!" Mom says happily, seeing that I've finally come down. Too many pairs of eyes land on me then, making me want to run back to my room. Mason is also by my side.
"Hey, kiddo," Mason starts with a warm smile, an elderly pair coming up to us and Noah grins at them. I assume they're Noah's grandparents, Mason's parents, my now step grandparents, from how he acts with them. "These are my parents." He gestures to the older lady first, then the man. "Joyce and Ethan."
I smile and wave in greeting, thankful when they don't at all seem offended at my lack of enthusiasm and social skills when my nerves are skyrocketing-I assume mom and Mason have already mentioned the fact that I don't talk, not always at least, not when I'm just meeting them. Smiling and waving becomes my signature move for the night when I meet too many other people to keep up with.
I meet Mason's siblings-Noah's aunts and uncles, my step aunts and uncles-along with cousins of Noah. Mason's siblings are younger than him, making their kids younger than both me and Noah, Cassie's age, so we don't really fit in anywhere. Not with the little kids or the grown adults. The second we're told to start getting food, we do so and go up to Noah's room, away from everyone downstairs, Binx following us.
"Are you going to Adrian's or Divine's, anyone's house after this?" Noah asks me, digging right into his food.
"I don't know yet." I want to see Adrian, but I also want to see Divine. I'd also like to see Danny or Ashton. It's so nice actually having friends.
Me and Noah fall into a comfortable silence while eating our food, Binx sleeping at the end of my bed. I check my phone, seeing texts from everyone wishing a happy Thanksgiving, and Admira checking in on me. I think if I do go anywhere later, it'll be to see Admira and Divine first.
"Did you and Lauren talk?" Noah asks suddenly. "You don't have to say-"
"We did." I'm sure he's asking as he can sense something has changed between us. "We're... okay now. We're not just perfect again but at least we've talked about... you know."
Noah nods and I don't give any specific details about me and mom, not wanting to talk about all of that right now. The moments right now are really good, today's a really good day-apart from this morning, for obvious reasons. I don't want it to be ruined when that can be avoided. Although, I wonder about Noah's mom. I haven't heard anything about her at all and I don't want to just ask, knowing that's not right.
"Have they mentioned my mom to you?" Noah asks, as if he knew what I was thinking. I shake my head. "Oh, okay. I didn't know if they did or not..." He trails off.
"Is she... Where..." I trail off, regretting when I even started to ask about her.
"She's dead," he says casually and my heart sinks. "She passed while giving birth to Cassie."
"Noah, I'm so-"
"It's okay." He smiles, scarfing down some turkey.
"You know, if you ever need to talk about literally anything, I'm here." He smiles again at me, silently thanking me, as I give him an assuring smile also.
"Same goes for you, Liv." In just the little time we've had together, me and Noah have definitely become siblings. I have a little brother now...
"Okay, you guys call if you need anything at all. Got it?" Me and Noah nod at mom as we stand outside Divine and Admira's house. Mom hugs me and kisses my head, ruffling Noah's hair. Mason smiles warmly at us.
"You guys act like we're going across the country for months," Noah says, rolling his eyes. In reality, we're just staying the night at Divine's, which isn't far away from mom and Mason's house. Adrian, Danny, and Ashton are all coming over too.
"They'll be fine, Lauren," Admira tells mom. Things between them seem better, not tension filled. They must've also talked finally. Or maybe they're just putting on an act for us.
"Okay. Love you guys," mom says, me and Noah saying it back-Mason's eyes crinkle in happiness when he hears my voice for the first time ever.
"Good job, kiddo," he ruffles my hair lightly before me and Noah finally go into the house.
"Hi, Liv!" Divine walks out of the kitchen, the house still smelling like various different foods. "I'm making another éclair cake, we hogged the one we made down, because I know it's your favorite. Butterscotch, specifically." I grin, excited to have that delicious fucking cake soon for the first time in forever, throwing my arms around Divine.
"Olivia Carter," I hear a familiar voice say and I turn around immediately. Grandma Lena wears a huge smile, lifting her glasses. "Get over here baby, I've not seen you in forever."
Yeah, because of dad.
"Hi," I say without hesitation. My fears with talking practically disintegrate with being here, at Divine and Admira's house. It completely feels like home here. Not one bad thing has ever happened in this house for me. Not one person in this house has ever hurt me in even the slightest way here. I grew up in this house practically, a home away from home, or dad's house. Now a home away from mom's house.
With me and Divine being best friends since we were way younger, I've met plenty of her family, I know just about all of them. Thanks to dad, I haven't been able to see them in years. Grandma Lena is definitely one of my favorite people. She hugs me gently, and I'm sure she knows about my certain injuries because she never hugs this gently, especially when this is our first reunion in a long time. I'm not sure if Divine's family knows about dad, but if they do they don't bring it up at all thankfully, or grandma Lena doesn't-she seems to be the last person still here after their Thanksgiving.
"And who is this?" Lena pulls away from our hug, looking at Noah curiously.
"That is my step brother," I say as Admira hears me talk, her own eyes crinkling when she hears me talking again.
"I'm Noah," he holds his hand out with a stupid smile.
"You cut your hair?" Divine asks, her eyes wide when she runs her fingers through my shorter hair. I nod happily.
"Technically, I did," Noah of course has to chime in to say.
"You did?" Divine asks, shocked as he nods. Divine turns to me. "You trusted him with your hair?"
"I did," I confirm, hearing the door open and close again.
"Maybe I should go to cosmetology school," Noah says seriously, actually thinking about it.
"Cosmetology school?" Danny asks, walking right over to Noah and hugging him. I grin when Ashton and Adrian follow right behind Danny, walking to Adrian and immediately pulling him into a hug. There's so many people around, but it's all the ones I know and am completely safe around, my nerves not skyrocketing as they usually would.
"Hi, baby," Adrian whispers in my ear and I flush, keeping my head in his chest. When we pull away he quickly leans down to kiss me. I turn and find Adrian's parents in the doorway, not knowing what to do.
"They just walked right in," Adrian's mom, Daina, says nervously. Daina smiles at me, Sean waving at me enthusiastically.
"I think my parents are like... somewhat together again?" Adrian says to me, looking away from his parents.
"Is that a good or bad thing?" Adrian's parents had gotten divorced when he were little, he told me, as they just weren't working out and didn't want to stay together until things got bad. But with the way I see them together in a room for the first time, I can tell there's definitely still something between them.
"Oh, definitely a good thing." I smile then, happy for him and his parents if they really are becoming something again.
"You cut her hair?" Ashton asks, dragging my attention back when he notices my hair, also shocked.
"Who cut whose hair?" Adrian asks, confused.
"Noah cut Olivia's hair," Danny says, everyone's attention going to my hair, apart from grandma Lena and Admira who are talking to Adrian's parents who drove them all here.
"Why would you trust him?" Ashton asks, shocked.
"It's starting to hurt my feelings with how much you guys would doubt me with cutting hair." Noah forces a pout.
"He did good, so I'm glad I trusted him before myself," I stand up for Noah.
"Thank you," Noah sighs at me.
Adrians's mom pulls us aside, with his dad also, away from everyone else to where they can talk to just us. Adrian still admires my shorter hair, whispering to me how pretty I look and my stomach flutters so damn much.
"Olivia, how're you feeling?" Daina asks me, Sean smiling warmly. I give a thumbs up, mostly actually meaning it, unable to get the words out. "Good, good." She smiles, and I wonder about her next words. "Olivia, we all want to have dinner, like we were supposed to..." but then my dad nearly killed me. "Me and Sean, this time. So we can really get to know you."
I nod with a smile, liking that plan very much. Adrian grins too, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as Sean speaks up. "How about the 3rd? Do you think that'll work for you, Olivia?" I nod, even though I need to check with mom first. I'm sure mom will be okay with it completely, though.
I wake up at who knows what time later on, laying on top of Adrian on the small couch in the living room. Credits to whatever was the last movie we watched keep playing on the Tv-we decided on binge watching plenty of movies for the night. I look and find Divine and Ashton cuddled up together on the floor with the area they made for themselves, Noah and Danny also cuddled up on the other couch, except theirs looks less intentional.
I sit up, yawning, as Adrian's arms stay wrapped around my waist. I grin, trying to get his arms off me so I can move but he's just not letting that happen, even as he's asleep.
"Stop moving," he groans, finally waking up, only tightening his arms around me more. "Please."
"I'm uncomfortable," I tell him, prying his arms off me to move. Me trying to find a new comfortable sleeping position results in me rolling right off the couch, not realizing I was the one on the edge. "Fuck," I hiss, rolling onto my back.
"Are you okay?" Adrian's completely awake now, sitting up and helping me back up as I groan, my hips aching. Danny stirs in his sleep, making me and Adrian go silent.
"I'm fine." I plop back down on the couch next to Adrian, rubbing my hip, hoping the sting goes away. Adrian stifles a laugh and I glare at him, but unable to hold back my own laugh at the fact that I rolled off the couch. "Let's go to the guest room, so I have less of a chance of rolling off something again."
"Deal." Adrian kisses my head, grabbing my hand to lead us to what was my room while Admira let me live here, keeping the door open like we were told to if we ended up in the room.
"Really?" Adrian asks when he sees me with a book pulled up on my phone, starting to read as I'm now wide awake with his arms wrapped around me from behind.
"Yes, really." He can't make fun of me now, as he starts reading the book with me.
This is the best Thanksgiving I've had in a while.
End of Silent Lies Chapter 40. Continue reading Chapter 41 or return to Silent Lies book page.