Silent Lies - Chapter 48: Chapter 48

"Deck the halls-"
"Don't even start," I cut Danny and Noah off, not allowing them to sing their Christmas songs.
"You need to get into the Christmas spirit," Danny complains in the backseat of my car, his head resting on Noah's shoulder as Olivia laughs at us in the seat beside me.
"I can be in the Christmas spirit without the terrible singing." It's Christmas Eve, although it sure doesn't feel like it, and everyone's coming over to my house for our friend's Christmas or whatever. We also all decided to do a secret Santa thing last minute, on top of whatever people already brought each other.
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly," my own girlfriend goes against me now, causing her brother and Danny to sing terribly along with her.
As much as I love Olivia, the singing could use some work. I'm sorry. But so does mine, so I've got no room to talk.
It's nice to admit I love Olivia, because I really fucking do. I can't wait to admit that to her tonight, that I love her, even when I'm so fucking nervous to the point that just thinking about it right now has my palms sweating.
I think back to months ago, the very beginning of the school year, when I'd just watch Olivia from afar-not creepily. I still regret not ever just talking to her way sooner.
August
"Adrian, just talk to her. It's as simple as that." I'm snapped back to reality by Danny, looking away as Olivia walks into the lunch room.
I frown when she doesn't go up to get lunch. She never does. She rarely accepts the parts her friend tries to give her of her lunch too.
"That's easy for you to say," I mumble. Danny will talk to anyone and everyone without being nervous-he's an extrovert, if you will. Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not, it just depends. But I'm a huge fucking introvert apparently now as I can't get myself to talk to her.
"Literally all you have to do is say hi," Ashton chimes in. These two always fucking team up against me when it comes to her.
"And what do I say from there?"
"I don't know, how are you or some shit." He shrugs and I scoff.
"Helpful."
"I'm tempted to go up to her and talk to her for you," Danny says.
"No, don't you fucking dare." Danny would say something about me that'd be embarrassing, for sure.
"Why? You wanna good first impression? Wanna seem so sweet for your crush?" he teases me, making fucking kissy faces that make me wanna punch him.
"Crush? I don't even know her?" This is the same conversation we have every fucking day.
"That doesn't really matter." Danny agrees with Ashton.
I hate them sometimes.
I look over once more to avoid seeming creepy, seeing her friend with her now. Olivia always looks... sad. Even in physics, she always has her head down even when our teacher tells her to lift it, and there's always a frown playing on her lips. School only started a couple weeks ago, but nothing has seemed to change for her since I noticed her. Even from last year.
Present time
"You're like the grinch," Danny says when they finish singing their song.
"Okay?" Olivia smiles at me so I'm smiling again. Anytime she smiles, it's makes me way fucking happier-especially with her real smile, not the fake one she used to use. It also makes my heart skip some beats, of course.
I pull onto my street, soon the driveway. Danny and Noah get out of the car right away, seeing Divine's car in the driveway. Before Olivia can walk to the door after we get out of the car, I kiss her, wanting more than a quick kiss but knowing my parents will come right out here if we don't go in soon.
"Hi, Olivia!" Mom greets her right away, giving her a hug. Danny and Noah have already made themselves at home-Divine and Ashton, too.
"Hey, Olivia," dad also greets her, his usual Christmas Eve beer in his hand.
It's so weird seeing my parents both together on a holiday. I'm so used to spending the days before Christmas with dad and his side of the family, then Christmas with mom and her side.
I look under the tree, seeing more than just my presents to Olivia, my friends, and my parents there now. Olivia gets stuck talking to my parents, as I sit next to Ashton on the couch with Divine beside him-Polar Express is playing, the best Christmas movie. I don't care if it's for kids or not.
"Nervous for later?" Ashton asks with a chuckle.
"Shut up." My palms are sweating again, especially as I look at Olivia. She's wearing the same red dress she wore to the party last week, her hair down and curled, making it up to her shoulders. She smiles brightly while talking to my parents about whatever, looking so fucking beautiful.
"What're you nervous for?" Divine asks.
"I, um..." I pause, seeing Olivia getting ready to come over to me but mom starts another conversation. "I'm telling Olivia I love her tonight..."
"Oh my gosh." Divine sits all the way up, grinning. "Finally?"
"Yes, finally." I still worry Olivia might think it's too early for that, but I can't hide it from her any longer. Plus, I already promised myself I'd tell her tonight, I have to.
I look at Ashton, trying to give him the signal to tell Divine he loves her tonight too. He won't admit it, but he also doesn't deny it. I know he worries it's too early, but his girlfriend is happy I'm saying it to Olivia so clearly she doesn't think it's too early. Ashton and Divine have been dating for nearly the same amount of time as me and Olivia.
"We'll be in the kitchen," mom tells us all as her and dad finally let Olivia go, heading to finish dinner I assume.
"It really is about time you say it," Ashton tells me, agreeing with Divine, just as Olivia comes over and sits next to me.
"I love your parents," she tells me and I smile in shock.
"Why?" She narrows her eyes.
"They're amazing." I'm still shocked, as I think back to my talks with Ashton and Danny the other night.
The other night, obviously
"So..." I start, staring at my two best friends as we sit in Danny's room.
"So?" Ashton asks, looking annoyed that I'm interrupting their precious round of Call of Duty.
"So," Danny also has to chime in so he's not left out.
"I think the plan is..." If I say the plan, they will be expecting me to go through with it, so if I don't they'll be annoyed I ever even said anything in the first place.
"What is it?" Ashton asks, needing me to spill it.
"I'm going to tell Olivia I love her, with the promise ring," I rush out in one breath.
"About fucking time," Ashton and Danny say in unison, making me glare at them.
"Really?" They both nod. "Whatever."
"You've practically loved her since the first day you saw her," Danny says, Ashton nodding along.
"Okay, that's a little too much to say." They both shake their heads-they both still team up against me when it comes to Olivia.
"Is it though?" I nod at Ashton. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy."
"Yeah. Why don't you tell Divine you love her too then?" He says absolutely nothing about that, his face flushing when he focuses on killing some people on the game.
"Are you going to marry Olivia?" Danny asks suddenly, making me look at him weirdly. "I don't hear you denying it?"
"I..." What the fuck do I say to that? "We're only in high school, Danny?"
"And? You know some people are lucky enough still to find the one they marry in high school. And I say you and Olivia will get married?"
"Since when are you such a romantic?" I ask him, even though I know he watches plenty of fucking rom-com movies and all that, and also used to fall in love with a new guy every week. But now there's Noah...
"You're still not saying anything about not marrying Olivia?" He grins, enjoying this as fucking always.
"Shut up." Ashton's grinning at me again, going along with Danny.
"Would you like to marry Olivia?" They won't let this topic go, so why not deal with it?
"Yes, I would." I really fucking would.
"Aww, how sweet." Ashton picks up the controller again. "As long as I'm the best man, not Danny."
"Oh, fuck that. I'm the best man, right Adrian?" Look at what I've started.
"If you guys act like this, Noah will be my best man. Shush." They both glare at me, continuing to argue anyways.
Marrying Olivia is such a weird thing to be thinking about right now, as we're only in high school, but now it's a thought sticking in my mind... I really fucking do hope she's the one I marry. She has to be.
There's no one at all before or after or in between Olivia, no one better or more infatuating than her. She's it for me, as long as she keeps me. But even if she weren't to keep me, I'll still be hers. No other girl will ever be able to capture these types of feelings from me. It'd be impossible to find any other girl worthy of these feelings that's not Olivia.
"What if I'm the flower girl?" Danny asks, making me narrow my eyes at him.
"It works with me." Ashton shrugs.
"Whatever." I wonder about those two.
Present time
We all six sit around the living room, trying to figure out plans for the New Year next. There's another party, but after how boring the last one was, we don't really want to go.
Although, Olivia's knuckles are still bruised, and I still grin at the memory of her punching Lexi-she deserved it and even deserves another one. None of us have heard anything from or about Lexi, so I guess it finally taught her a lesson.
We decide on just staying in, at Ashton's house. His parents are going to New York like they do every year, leaving him alone and taking his older brother with them. Every year he says he's fine with it, but I worry more and more. They go to some fancy ass hotel in Tennessee too for Christmas in the Smoky Mountains. This year seems to be the least worrisome year for Ashton, even though I can't help it-he has Divine who's seemed to help him a lot.
Olivia's head rests back on my shoulder, my arm wrapping around her as it always does. I can never keep my hands away from her, I am so fucking clingy I will admit, but Olivia is too so it works out just fine. I kiss her head, watching as her cheeks turn red and a smile takes over her face as she's concentrated on the movie.
"Dinners ready kids!" Mom calls from the kitchen just as the movie ends, perfect timing. I look out the window, seeing flurries falling from the sky for the first time in a couple weeks. Maybe we'll have a white Christmas this year, but I doubt it.
We settle around the extended table with the leaf now in it so there's enough room for us all-eight people. Once everyone's gotten their plates of the ham, mashed potatoes, homemade Mac and cheese, vegetables, and rolls, mom says her prayer before we all dig in. Of course, my parents-mom, more specifically-keep's conversations about school, after graduation, everyone's parents, nothing special.
Olivia is thinking more and more about after graduation than I've ever seen. She talked about a gap year but now she's talking about the colleges she wants to hurry and apply to, and it makes me so fucking happy how free she seems now than when I first met her. She mentions maybe majoring in psychology, but she's not looked through what she would want to do enough yet.
I still don't know what I want to do. Nothing interests me enough to want to go to college for it. If I find something, what if I end up hating it once I get a job? I don't want a job I'm going to hate, that'll make me miserable. A gap year is the best I can do for now, I guess, and work with my dad at his company so I can really find myself without school piling stress onto me.
Divine is the most put together out of all of us. She wants to become a teacher, even knowing the terrible pay and how much of assholes kids can be no matter what grade level she'll teach. She wants to have her own business too, she tells us, she's just not sure of what yet. A teacher and business owner-she has her life planned already.
Danny and Noah still have a year and two to figure themselves out, but Danny already knows he wants to become a doctor or something. Danny acts like a dumbass, but he can be the smartest of us all if he really tries. Noah just shrugs when he's asked what he wants, still saying something about cosmetology school just because he did a good job on cutting Olivia's hair.
Ashton says nothing at all about his life after graduation and I worry. His parents have always expected him to go to nursing school like his brother but even as he doesn't know what to do, we all know he wouldn't want to be a nurse or doctor or anything like that. He can't handle seeing the things he would see if he did become one of those. I know he wouldn't be able to handle it when patients die too. As much as Ashton pretend his gives zero fucks about anything, he actually cares about everything.
"This food is amazing," Divine compliments mom and dad.
"Thank you, sweetheart," mom says, getting along greatly with Divine more than anyone else.
Mom and dad make us all leave once dinner is over, only letting themselves wash the dishes and make whatever it is they're making for dessert. They tell us to take our time with our little Christmas.
Which means it's getting closer to me telling Olivia I love her.
Oh god.
Everyone has their presents out for the secret Santa thing, starting to reveal who had who. We had a thirty dollar limit, so who knows what everyone got. Divine hands over hers first-she had Noah.
"And I was just talking about cosmetology school. This is perfect, Divine. Thank you!" Noah hugs her, as Divine got him hair cutting supplies. He seems to think cosmetology school is a definite now for him, I hope it is because he seems to love it. "Who can I use these on first?"
Everyone stares at him, as a way to say absolutely fucking not me. But of course, Olivia defends him. "Oh come on guys, he's good at it as much of a shock as it is. I'm not bald."
"That was one time that he cut hair, Olivia," Ashton says.
"I don't like you guys," Noah mumbles, still happy about what Divine got him though.
Olivia got Ashton, getting him the perfect stuff. A hoodie and a pack of new rings after he's had the same ones for years-he thanks her a million times and he rarely thanks anyone for anything. I enjoy how they get along, still thankful my girlfriend gets along with my friends.
Noah had Olivia, getting her just the right stuff too as she smiles so much when she opens the bag. A new journal-she's really filled her one from Admira up completely, cat stickers, her favorite chocolate, and cat socks. A lot of cat stuff?
"I got you the cat stuff since you stole my cat," he says casually.
"I didn't steal her," she defends herself, even as she already taking a sticker for her phone case.
"She sleeps with you every night now, yes you did." Olivia rolls her eyes and I grin at the siblings.
Danny had Divine, sticking to butterflies as we all know she loves them. Something with her father is what made her love them, a special memory. He got her a book on all kinds of different butterflies, their meanings and scientific details only Divine would care about. He also got her butterfly stickers-he and Noah definitely went shopping together.
"This is amazing, Danny." She's already flipping through and reading pages of the book, Ashton trying to read with her but not understanding a single thing.
Ashton had me, getting me a new video game that'd just come out and a hoodie-that'll most likely end up on Olivia-definitely having spent more than thirty dollars but claims he didn't. I still thank him either way.
Lastly, I had Danny. I got him plenty of candy, more bracelets for his collection, and some Lego set because it'll entertain him like a child.
"This is the best fucking thing ever, Adrian." See? He's already opening the set, spilling the pieces on the coffee table. Of course Noah is by his side, also.
It's really close to when I should be telling Olivia I love her.
"Desserts are ready!" Mom calls from the kitchen again, thankfully stalling my time on her own.
They made brownies and Christmas tree cookies, more than enough for the eight of us. Once everyone's gotten what they want, everyone settles on the couches-well, Danny and Noah are still putting together the Lego set-while we turn on another amazing Christmas movie; Home Alone.
Mom and dad watch it with us, sitting in a chair as moms on dads lap. I actually find them cute as Olivia calls them, as long as it stays at just that. It's weird seeing them back together, but it's really nice. I'm happy they are back together.
"Okay, me and your dad are going upstairs so you kids can have your time together," mom tells us, everyone nodding. "Don't set the house on fire, please. If you need anything, just come get us."
"Merry Christmas," we all say, as by time mom and dad will be up tomorrow mostly everyone will be home with their families. Ashton's coming with us to my grandparents.
There's some presents that weren't a part of the secret Santa getting passed around now, mostly between our couples-Danny and Noah may not be dating yet, but they might as well be. Noah came out to Divine and Ashton a couple days after me, so he and Danny are completely free to act couple-y around us all. Including our parents, who support them just as much as us.
Olivia can't help her smile as she hands me a couple gifts, the both of us taking a spot on the ground by the Christmas tree, away from everyone. My palms are practically sweating buckets as my body heats-so fucking close.
I won't chicken out, though.
"Open them!" She urges me, happily but impatiently.
I listen, opening one of the boxes. It has two new hoodies to add to my collection-our collection, really. "Thank you. You know you'll just end up stealing these?"
"That's not the point." She rolls her eyes but doesn't deny it. I grab one of her gifts, shoving it to her so we take turns.
"Oh my god." She smiles so brightly at the box of books, one's I ordered online after the mall. Altogether, she'll get eight books tonight. She takes the three out of the box, practically admiring them all, especially the one with the one with hands holding an apple stabbed with nails. "This is one of my favorites."
Shit. I would accidentally buy a book she's already read. I thought that'd happen anyways, as she's constantly reading. "At least you have a physical copy now?"
"Thank you!" She throws her arms around me, making me grin. She pulls away, shoving another box on my lap covered with a panda wrapping paper. She also got me a couple books. "Since I've gotten you into reading... I got a couple really good books, in my opinion at least, and annotated them."
"Liv..." I'll start reading these two books right away then. "This is amazing. Annotated at that? How fucking long did that take you?"
"A few days." She shrugs. Of course it only took her a few days. For me, it'd take a few weeks.
I hand her the other box of books from the mall, watching with a smile as she tears the snowman wrapping paper eagerly. I wish I could've gotten her a lot more than I did, as this is her first Christmas in years without her dad, so I wanted it to be special. But the look on her face when she sees more books assures me, and also makes my heart skip a shit ton of beats.
"Oh my-" Her face drops and I immediately worry, terrified. "Adrian, thank you so much... But why would you buy Fifty Shades of Grey?" The look on her face is horrified and she's flushed, my heart stopping.
"I d-didn't, I don't know-" Ashton.
That fucker. He pointed it out and snuck it behind my back.
I turn to him, seeing him already looking towards us as he must've figured out Olivia found it. He's unable to hold in his laugh. "I'm gonna fucking kill you."
"Oh calm down, it's just a joke." Olivia looks relieved I didn't buy it for her, catching on to Ashton's fucked up joke.
"Here, you take that terrible book back then." Olivia stands, handing the book over to Ashton as everyone else is laughing at the book. "There's way better and kinkier books with better smut out there, by the way. That one's nothing."
"Oh..." Everyone looks shocked at Olivia as she shrugs at them, like it's no big deal. Now I flush at knowing what other kinds of things my girlfriend reads. There's been smut as she calls it in some of the books she's had me read but it wasn't much at all. Now I'm scared.
"I mean, there is?" Divine speaks up, both of the girls earning shocked looks. "Oh, you guys probably just watch porn. Try reading it, it's way better that way."
Olivia nods at Divine, Noah looking pale. "I didn't need to hear any of this."
"Sorry, kid." Divine ruffles his hair.
"Anyways, thank you." Olivia smiles as if none of this just happened, hugging me.
"Yeah..." I look at the books I bought her, wondering if it has those scenes in them. Jesus-that's what they need.
"Open it." Olivia hands me one last smaller box, everyone returning to their conversations after all that.
She played innocent with Fifty Shades of Grey but admitted she reads worse? What have I gotten myself into?
I open the small box, pushing everything away, smile coming back as I take the chain out of its box. I'd mentioned wanting a new one, and here we are. "Baby, thank-"
"Put it on," she urges, grinning as I do. "It looks perfect on you."
She's perfect.
"Thank you so fucking much." She kisses me as though that's her you're welcome, grinning and eyes twinkling as she pulls away.
The promise ring is my last gift to her. I have to say I love you in just a little bit of time.
I pull the small box out of my pocket, hands shaking, as I hide it in my hand while she still admires all her new books. She looks up, her smile turning into a frown. "What's wrong?"
"I..." My heart jumps against my chest, practically ready to bust out, as I reveal the small box and put it in her hands.
"Oh... my god." Her jaw nearly drops as she sees the opal ring. I take it out of the slit in the foam, taking her hand as she nods to put it on. I'm very fucking relieved when I see it fits her finger just right. "Adrian-"
"I-I had a whole fucking speech planned but it's not in my head anymore," I rush out, stumbling over my words with nerves. "I... so yeah. I-It's a promise ring," I clarify quickly. "To um, you know, symbolize my loyalty to you."
And my love, I don't say yet.
"Are you okay?" She asks with a laugh, seeing how nervous I am as her eyes tear up with happiness.
"I'm just really fucking nervous," I whisper, thankful when all our friends are too caught up in their conversations so this moment can just be ours.
"Calm down, okay?" She laughs softly again, holding my face in her hands as she places a light kiss on my lips when my breathing is hard from how fucking fast my heart is beating.
"I love you."
For a minute, I think I fucked up with saying it, as her face falters and she lets me go as she seems to think about something. But then she's grinning and her eyes are so bright with happiness, throwing her arms around my neck and holding me tight.
"I love you too." Those words are enough to take away the nerves, but that doesn't stop my heart from beating with how close she is as it always does.
"It feels fucking amazing to finally say those words." She laughs as she agrees with me, still hugging me.
"I was going to tell you tonight that I loved you too." We both made a plan to say it tonight?
See, I say we're perfect together.
"I really fucking do love you." I kiss her neck softly, the closest part of her to me, enjoying her shiver from it.
"I really fucking do love you too, Adrian." She pulls away only to kiss me hard, pulling away again with the brightest smile I've ever seen on her.
"Oh, take it to a room!" Danny complains.
"Shut up," I grumble to him for ruining our moment.
But I don't miss the thumbs up and grins from everyone but Noah-who's now the only one who didn't know about my plan, and I'm sure he wouldn't want to hear when it's his sister-as they see I went through with the plan.
"This is the best fucking Christmas ever," Olivia says. "Books and rings and you and I love you."
"It is." I kiss her again, never wanting to let her out of my arms after this.