Silent Lies - Chapter 9: Chapter 9

I wake up to my annoying alarm, hitting it a million times before it shuts up. My eyes hurt from all the crying I've done, and my lack of sleep. My back also hurts, I fell asleep on the floor-too much pain to be able to move to my bed.
I'm scared to move, knowing it's going to hurt so badly. There really is no way I'll be able to go to school. Unless dad would be willing to give me a ride so I don't have to walk-I almost laugh at thinking there'd be a chance of that. Even then though, I just can't handle it.
Not physically nor mentally.
I know dad won't let me stay home though, so I'll have to skip. Somehow. But school will just call dad, to tell him I'm not in school and didn't have a parent call in as for why I'm not there. I'll have to call if I don't want him to receive a call, but there's no way. The thought of talking, out loud, to someone has me so scared right now.
I slowly sit up, my head pounding too now. It takes me what seems an eternity to even be able to stand without screaming in pain. I carefully walk to the bathroom, looking in the mirror and I look worse than ever.
I'm still wearing my clothes from yesterday. Tears stain my cheeks and ruined the foundation I had worn to cover my bruised jaw and cut cheek, but the cut seems to already be healed. My hair is so tangled. The bags under my eyes are darker than ever.
But worse of it all-I have a black eye now. There's no way I'll be able to cover it with makeup fully to where no one can see it.
I lift my shirt, revealing my stomach and rib cage. There's barely any spot left untouched from bruises now. I need a bandage wrap at least to wrap around my ribs.
I decide I'll walk to the store, somehow, to get one. I'm sure I won't have enough money to buy one though, I barely have two dollars if that. Then just go to the park to skip, not knowing where else to go. I don't even know how I'll manage to walk there, but I'll have to. I can't stay home to skip, dad would know.
I wash my face, putting on more foundation to cover my jaw and the cut. My eye is so swollen underneath, colors of black and purple covering my eyelid and underneath where my dark eye bags usually are. I try using the foundation to cover it up but it hurts so bad pressing the beauty blender against it that my eyes water. Even then, my eye is swollen. People will be able to tell no matter what.
Great, what excuse do I use for this? Oh I ran into the wall. No. I fell down the stairs. And hit your eye? Fuck, I don't know.
I give up on trying to cover it, not even caring anymore. It's clear that school doesn't care enough to ask about it. All I have to worry about is Divine, and Mrs. Scarlett. Possibly Adrian and his friends, I don't know yet.
I don't even bother changing my clothes from yesterday. I'm not going to school, and it'll only cause me more pain to do so. I tie my hair back into a ponytail, not bothering to brush it either, not caring at all how I look today.
I walk out of the bathroom, slipping on my shoes and grabbing my backpack along with my phone. I walk downstairs, it's a little early to leave but whatever. The sooner I get to the store then the park the sooner I can just rest.
I still don't know how I'll manage to call school to say I won't be there, pretending to be a parent.
My arms are wrapped around me, tears already threatening to spill not even five minutes into my walk. My phone dings signaling a text and I wonder who it is.
Adrian.
He hasn't texted me yet since I gave him my number so I'm surprised.
Hi Liv, it's Adrian:)
Adrian, 5:03am
I smile and text back, just saying hi too. I wonder what he's doing up so early, still having two hours before school even starts.
I'm still very slowly walking to the store as he texts again, telling me how he really doesn't wanna go to school. I laugh, telling him how I'm skipping. But then get a text I didn't expect-
Care if I skip with you? We can
hangout somewhere all day.
Adrian, 5:08am
It'd be nice to have some company all day. I worry about my noticeable black eye and how anyone can probably tell I'm in pain. But nonetheless, I tell him yeah and we both agree to meet at the park.
After finally getting to the store and out after what seemed to be an eternity, I start my walk to the park. I feel so shitty after having to steal a bandage wrap. I brought a cheap candy bar with the tiny bit of money I have, and am now eating it because I'm starving.
I straighten my slumped posture, removing my arms that were wrapped around my body and try to put on a look that doesn't immediately tell anyone that I'm in pain when I get to the park and see Adrian already sitting at one of the picnic tables. It's nearly 7am now. My feet are fucking killing me.
"Hi Liv!" He shouts when he sees me walking over to the table, I sit next to him and smile. I don't look directly at him, just now remembering the black eye. I don't know how he'll react, I'd hope he wouldn't care or say anything.
He sets his phone down, looking to me as I look straight forward at the playground. "Did you like, let school know you won't be in classes today? Or do your parents know your skipping?" I shake my head, to both questions. "Oh, do you want me to call for you? My mom knows I'm skipping, told her I wasn't in the mood for school. But I'll call for you if you wanna." I nod, appreciating that greatly. I don't think I'd be able to get myself to call school, say words, or anything. And I don't need dad knowing I'm skipping.
He calls school right after I nodded, putting on a fake and deeper voice-a horrible deep voice that makes me muffle my laugh in the background. His normal voice isn't necessarily deep, it's not high pitched or anything either. It's kind of...perfect. I like it.
Like it?
"So, what shall we do today?" He pretends he wasn't just doing the worse voice ever, acting like my dad. Either way I end up shrugging. When I miss school, which is rarely ever, I'm usually just forced to stay in my room all day. I never get to go out like this.
I looks towards him as he starts listing places off. "There's the skating rink, it'll be empty at this time of the day which is great. Oh we could go get something to eat at this diner that has the best pancakes in existence. Or-" He looks at me now, pausing at whatever his next place was gonna be. His face falls, concern seeming to take over.
Shit.
"What-how'd you get a black eye?" I look back towards the playground, shrugging and hoping he just goes back to listing places off. "You don't know?" I say nothing. "You don't get a black eye like that and not know how it appeared..." I still don't give any type of response. "Liv, are you-"
I grab my bag and start pulling out my notebook, he goes quiet. What about that diner? I don't know why I ask about it, it's not like I have any money. But I just need this conversation to be done with.
He seems to understand I don't wanna talk about it. "Oh, yeah the diner. Amazing pancakes." His smile seems forced now. "Do you wanna go there for now?"
I nod, but quickly write, I don't have money though. We can stay here. He looks over my writing, shaking his head.
"No, no it's okay. I'll pay. You have to try these pancakes!" His natural smile seems to come back, excited.
Are you sure? I smile at his excitement.
"More than sure. C'mon, I'll drive." I'm so thankful he has a car to drive us, I don't know how much more walking I'll be able to handle.
The drive to this diner is quiet, Adrian's decent music taste playing quietly. It's nice to be going out, going to a diner and with someone. A new friend, at least a new friend for now. I haven't got to go out like this in years. But I still can't help but worry about dad.
I can't ever have one moment where I'm not worrying about him and anything that'll happen.
Adrian pulls into a parking spot, the vintage styled diner in view now. It's cute, and you can just tell that they'll have the best pancakes or food in general.
Adrian's out of the car before me, as I'm taking my seatbelt off my door opens and Adrian's the one who had opened it. Nice. I smile to say thanks, getting out of the car and acting as if it's not causing me a great amount of agony.
Walking in the diner it smells of all sorts of breakfast foods making my stomach growl, thankfully over the few people talking and dishes clinking from the kitchen no one hears.
We sit at a booth in the back, away from the few others here. Adrian hands me a menu, I look through it but really I might just get the same exact thing as him. I hate not having money so I can just pay for my own. I don't know why I'm even letting him pay.
"Do you know what you want? Pancakes for sure at least too, right?" I smile and nod, grabbing a napkin and quickly writing, I'll get the same as you.
He nods just as a waiter comes to our table, Adrian tells her the order. Chocolate chip pancakes and a mix of fruit, along with water to drink-he also gets coffee but I shake my head when he asks me if I want any. I've always hated coffee, never finding whatever everyone else sees in it.
"So, what's your...favorite color?" I'm confused at the random, and a bit boring, question. "Sorry, we just don't really know much about each other so I-I thought just asking random questions-" I cut off his usual nervous rambling as I take a napkin and pull out a pen. I'm up for answering questions like this.
Red, and yours? I write and he smiles, quickly answering. "Probably green." I nod, attempting to find a question but he asks before I can think of anything. "Do you have plans for college or like anything after graduation?"
That's a bigger question than what my favorite color is, though I realize he just thought of it at the top of his head and now had some time to think. I shrug though, I really haven't planned anything.
I wanted to go to college, maybe for social work, but I haven't applied for any colleges and haven't even taken the proper classes or exams for getting into college. My grades aren't good, they're not bad though either, so who knows what I'd get into. I'll figure it out eventually, maybe, I just need to focus on getting a job first and out of here.
Do you? I write and he thinks for a second. "I don't know. I haven't applied anywhere yet and haven't done anything to make my applications look good anyways. And I don't know what I wanna do so I'm not just gonna go to college and switch majors over and over again. I'll work with my dad for a gap year probably, trying to figure it out."
I nod, relating to it all with just taking a job and gap year. It'll be nice to have a job, though I don't know how it'll work for me for obvious reasons. I worry though, knowing dad will want me out if I were to get a job once he can't control me anymore and I don't really have anywhere to go. I'll save for a car first, then get a place. Or whichever is the better option by then.
"What's your-" He's cut off when the waiter sets down our plates of food and drinks in front of us, my mouth waters knowing I'll have a real meal for once.
While we eat he continues asking questions, I can never think of any. I'm not used to having conversations like this. Of course with Divine, but we know like literally everything about each other, almost, so we don't talk like this much.
I've managed to learn his favorite animals are pandas. All of his music taste is great-which I've already known from being in his car. He's an only child. He wants to move far, far away the moment he gets a chance, like literally anywhere he said. He's known Danny nearly his whole life, Ashton they met in elementary school. And other things-he's also learned the same about me. My favorite animal, my music tastes, I said I have a sister but that's all I said, where I'd like to live if I had a chance and how me and Divine met.
I stack our plates on top of each other, cleaning up the best I can so we don't leave a mess. "I have this place I sometimes go to when I skip, or just wanna be away for a bit. Would you wanna go there or we can go like anywhere else I don't care where." I nod to wherever this place is he goes to, not caring either.
He pays as I walk out to his car, fumbling with my hoodie strings hating that I can't pay for at least my half. Before I can open the passenger door he's opening it for me, making me jump when there's little to no room between us. I smile in thanks again, thankful when he backs away so I can get in-I enjoy my personal space.
He gets in and starts the car, it's quiet as he drives off and starts to drive to wherever this place is. My stomach hurts now after having an actual meal for once, not doing well mixing with all the other pain I'm in. I push it away though, acting like I'm in perfect condition.
The drive consists of me and Adrian stealing glances at each other every so often until he pulls into a place I now recognize.
Shit.
The cliff, the same one I've happen to go to sometimes-the same one I've contemplated taking my life at several times. The one that has no good memories for me.
I don't let Adrian see my discomfort about being here, not wanting to bother him. He opens my door and I haven't even realize he got out of the car, I had zoned out I guess. I force a smile this time, following behind him as we walk towards the edge that does have a great view of our small city.