Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids - Chapter 90: Chapter 90

Another day, another lunch, another trip to the bathroom to throw up. Wonpil was there this time, so at least there was that.
Wonpil silently held out a damp paper towel, and Hobi took it without words and pressed it against his face, trying to get rid of the acidic feeling in his throat.
"I'm sorry," Hobi said after a long time.
Wonpil looked over at him, confused. "For what?"
Hobi shrugged, looking away from Wonpil. "This. Me."
"What's there to apologize for?"
"Everything," Hobi said, still looking away from Wonpil and wondering why Wonpil couldn't see it. "The other kids-"
"-don't matter," Wonpil finished solemnly for him, and Hobi shook his head.
"But they do. They do to you. You want to be friends with other kids. I'm just holding you back, Wonpil, and you know it. You can't even spend your lunch hour normally. You always waste it on me."
"It's not wasted."
"But it is?" Hobi said, looking down at his shoelaces and picking at one of them, watching as the knot came undone. "I'm not worth it, Wonpil. You should be with the other boys, the ones who aren't always throwing up and avoiding people. You should have fun with them. Don't hang out with me. Go have fun with everyone else."
There was a long moment of silence, broken only by the soft drip drop of the sink faucet which hadn't been turned off completely.
Then Wonpil got up. Hobi couldn't see his expression.
But a few seconds later, he watched as Wonpil's left foot and then his right foot and then his left again took him farther and farther away from Hobi.
And then Hobi was alone.
Just like how it was meant to be.
Hobi was happy, happy that Wonpil had finally realized that he deserved better friends, that he would always deserve more than Hobi could ever give him.
He was happy.
He was.
But then why was he crying?
***
Hobi skipped the rest of the school day, instead going to the nurse and saying he didn't feel well. Namjoon came to pick him up a few minutes later, and then he was at home with Jimin, Namjoon having gone back to sleep.
"Hobi-hyung?" Jimin asked softly, playing with his fingers, and Hobi looked over, smiling at Jimin and ruffling his hair.
"Yes, Jiminie?"
"Why were you crying?"
Hobi's hand fell away, and he tried to cover his hesitation with a smile. "I wasn't, I just splashed some water on my face because I wasn't feeling well."
Jimin shook his head slowly. "That's not true. What's wrong, hyung?"
Hobi sucked his bottom lip in, biting it. He was scarily close to spilling everything to Jimin.
I can't.
"It's nothing, Jimin..."
Jimin put his arms around Hobi's waist. "I won't tell anyone," he whispered. "I promise. So tell me, hyung? Please? It'll make you feel better."
Hobi slowly put his arms around Jimin, feeling his eyes prick as his tears started back up. "You don't want to know," Hobi said, begging. He didn't know if he was begging Jimin to drop the matter or if he was begging Jimin to keep asking.
"I want to know everything," Jimin replied, and Hobi broke.
***
After a good twenty minutes of just crying onto Jimin, Hobi finally pulled back, going to wipe his eyes, but Jimin's tiny fingers were there first as he smiled up at his hyung, gently wiping away his tears.
"I- I don't know how it started," Hobi whispered, his voice choking up, and he rubbed his wet face some more. "Or maybe I do. I don't know. I just..." Hobi closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he felt Jimin's hand settle on his back, rubbing circles. "I can't...I can't...eat...I don't know, Jimin, I just...when I try, I can't...It makes me sick...It hurts...but I keep trying and I don't know what's wrong with me but I just keep throwing up and I'm sick of it, of not being able to just be normal, of all the other kids looking at me like, like I'm broken or something..." Hobi opened his eyes, and once more, they were filled with tears, and it hurt Jimin's heart to see his cheerful hyung like this. "Am I broken, Jimin? Is that it?"
Jimin tugged Hobi closer, resting his head on Hobi's shoulder. "No, hyung. You're perfect."
"No, I'm not," Hobi cried, trying to pull away, but Jimin clung to him even tighter.
"Yes, you are, hyung. Don't say that you're broken. Even if you were, I would put you back together again. Okay?"
Hobi kept crying, unable to respond, until a few minutes later, he pulled away. This time, Jimin let him, knowing that his hyung needed a little bit of a space.
"I did s-something horrible," Hobi admitted, and Jimin didn't react, just nodded, waiting to hear what Hobi had to say. "I t-told Wonpil to go away, that he shouldn't be friends with me. A-and he left, Jimin. He did. And I know I'm supposed to be happy because it's what I said I wanted, but I don't want that, I just- I want- I don't know, Jimin, I just...I just don't want my problems to hurt Wonpil, and I'm scared that they are and that they always will, but I'm scared to be by myself, Jimin...it's so hard by myself...it's always hard but Wonpil makes it easier..."
Jimin smiled at his hyung, taking Hobi's hands in his. "He'll come back to you, hyung."
"You think so?" Hobi asked, scared to hope, scared to be let down. "Even after I told him to leave?"
Jimin nodded. "He was probably just mad at you for telling him to leave you. You guys are best friends. I'm sure he knows that hyung isn't broken, that you're perfect, and he's mad that you think that you aren't good enough."
Hobi broke down for the third time, hugging Jimin, and Jimin hugged him back, absorbing some of Hobi's pain.
If Hobi hyung has been suffering this whole time, what about the others?
Are we all broken?
Jimin hugged Hobi harder. Hobi thought that Jimin was trying to cheer him up, but at that moment, Jimin hugged Hobi out of fear.
He was scared.
What if they were all broken?
If Jimin was broken, who would put him back together?