Sold to the Alpha With Silver Eyes - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

I know Leoni is right. This is one of those times I should be firm, face him down, and demand an explanation. But at the same time, I can’t bring myself to do it. What good will it do? It won’t change anything. It can’t undo what has already happened and with how fast things are moving with Jasmine, I can only assume there is something deeper at play.
Not that I want to admit that to myself, because again, it changes nothing. The heart break I feel, the longing for him. All of it will remain because there is no world in which I can ever be at his side and his lack of trying to see me proves that. It has been me addressing him, searching for answers from him all along and he has been standing there, his silence the answer I was waiting for.
Dev may care for me. Hell, he may even truly love me, but the world I exist in doesn’t cater to what love wants. Him not putting up a fight for me is him acknowledging that there is no reason he can want me, but he can not have me. My history, our history, is too complicated.
So instead of heading to see Dev, I head to the border of the pack, finding a cut little creek that feeds into a clear pond and watch the sun come down. The crickets chirp and birds tweet, their song more cheery than my mood, but I find peace in nature. The lack of chaos in a world where my mind has been nothing but chaotic for years.
My legs tuck to my chest as I wrap my arms around them, hugging them close. The trees sway, and a breeze tickles my cheek, as I look across the way, taking notice of a wolf leaping around over the borderline. I don’t feel any fear as I watch them, making a spectacle of themselves chasing the fireflies as they come out.
It would be hard to believe that someone so playful would be able to turn into a murderous beast if they noticed me, but it’s also not a risk I want to chance. So I remain unmoved, watching, captivated by the graceful movements and little flips it does off a tree trunk.
“You shouldn’t be out here.” Dev’s voice says softly from behind me, and my skin prickles.
“I am perfectly safe.” I say, not bothering to turn to face him.
“Someone has been stalking you for months, and you think you are safe out here on your own?” He sounds skeptical and I roll my eyes, feeling what little lingering bit of calm I have leech away.
“I was with a liar for months and I also felt safe, so perhaps my judgement is a little off.” I mutter.
The ground rustles and I glance over, looking at his feet as they enter my line of sight and then back out into the distance.
“I don’t have much to say to that.” He whispers, taking a seat next to me. Dev’s warmth radiates from his body, penetrating my skin and senses as I shiver and rest my forehead on the tops of my knees.
“What do you want?” I ask him, not bothering to lift my head.
“What I want and what I can have are very different right now.” He says, pain in his voice that almost makes me feel bad for him. If it weren’t for my aching heart, I might try to comfort him, but I can’t. I need to hold on to this hurt, to learn from it.
“Why are you here, Dev?” I sigh, emphasizing my annoyance at his presence with a heavy sigh.
“I can’t stay away.” He says, and I snap my eyes over to him. He doesn’t dare to look at me, his gaze focused on the wolf still frolicking beyond us. “I have nothing to say, and I can’t ask a damn thing from you when you gave me everything, and I took advantage of that, but…”
“You should be focusing on your relationship with Jasmine.” I tell him, rubbing my temples as I try to find the will to stand and walk away, but I can’t.
“You bring me a sense of quiet in my soul. I think better when I am around you and yet, I also can’t think at all.” He chuckles at himself. “Everything is so fucked, and all I can think about is being near you.”
My eyes burn, and my chest grows tight. Damn it, damn him and his words that stir me from my sense of logical thinking. What I want is to send him away. No, not what I need is to send him away. What I want…shit, what I want so desperately, is to lean toward him and lay my head on his shoulder.
“You rejected me.” I say aloud, more of a reminder for my traitorous heart. “When I was at my lowest, begging for death, you did the only thing that could truly break me.”
Dev says nothing, his chin dropping to his chest as he inhales and then closes his eyes.
“Yes.” He whispers.
“You played me for a fool.” I choke out before I clear my throat.
“No,” He rushes out, turning to look at me. “I didn’t know who you were. Maybe I was oblivious to it or maybe I truly didn’t remember, but everything has come to light since fucking Paxton and then when Jasmine showed up.”
I furrow my brow.
“Dev, I don’t want to talk about this.” I tell him, standing and wiping whatever dirt may have clung to my pants. “What is done is done. Discussing it will only hurt more and I really don’t think I can handle it…”
“I never lied about how I feel about you.” He whispers, his eyes locking on mine as he looks up from the ground.
“That doesn’t change anything.” I shake my head, frowning. “How you treat someone speaks so much louder than how you say you feel.”
He looks away, dragging his hands through his hair, silence falling between us. Too much has already been said, wounds reopening before they have even had a chance to heal.
“Dev, why did you come out here?”
“I have people keeping an eye on you.” He admits.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that.” I groan, placing my hands on my head.
“It is not safe for you,” He says finally standing. “In the pack or near the border. Someone will likely target you.”
I shake my head and bark out a fake laugh. “Target me? Why the heck would I be a target?”
“Because my uncle knows how I feel about you.” He says it like it is the most obvious answer, and I roll my eyes.
“You are set to mate with Jasmine. From what I hear, you two are the perfect pair.”
“I am not actually going to mate with Jasmine.” He says, his eyes boring into mine as if willing me to see the truth in them. But true or not, it still doesn’t matter because it has nothing to do with me. Not when I know I am leaving sooner rather than later.
“That has nothing to do with me.” I sigh.
“It has everything to do with you.” His voice drops an octave, low and intense. “I won’t take anyone if it isn’t you and He knows that.”
“Dev, he is your uncle. He wants what is best for the pack. And you have wanted to be what is best all along, just…follow orders and do your thing and I will leave and do mine. Eventually, time will ease the longing and we will think back fondly on each other.”
“I don’t want you only in my memories, Eden.” He rushes out and I take a step back, needing distance to think.
“That is all you can have of me,” I tell him, standing my ground on never allowing him back in. “I have nothing to give you anymore. All you have done is feed me lies and hide me away. That isn’t love, that is obsession and manipulation.”
His eyes narrow and he looks away, his neck flexing as he fights the urge to argue back. Then he meets my gaze, his face saying more than his mouth ever could.
I see his pain, the way he wants to counter my harsh words, but he knows he can’t. Dev doesn’t understand the meaning of love. Hell, I can’t say that I do either. All I know is that it shouldn’t hurt this much, not so early in to it.
Fate is pulling us apart and our own stubbornness is trying to keep together something we broke years ago.
“So you know it all, then?” He whispers, his eyes watering as he swipes at his nose. “How everything that has happened to you has been my fault…my doing?”
I furrow my brows and frown, not sure what he is saying. Sure, he has hurt me, but he isn’t the crux of my issues, merely a byproduct.
“I hardly think rejecting me is what made my life a living hell,” I say, unable to let him take the bulk of the responsibility for my pain.
Then he rolls his shoulders back and takes two steps toward me. His aura has changed, the pain morphing into something of fear and guilt that consumes me as I watch him, my stomach falling.
“I was the alpha who carried out your family’s sentence.” He says, and it feels like a stab to the chest as my mouth falls open. “And when you ran into the flames and got injured, it was me who carried you out and saved you. That’s when I felt the bond, and I used it to stay close to you for two days to help you heal.”
“I don’t understand…You chose to punish them by fire?” My voice breaks, tears spilling from my eyes as I step toward him, a surge or rage forming in my body. “What kind of fucking monster are you?”
“The one who falls in love with his prey…” He whispers and I can’t stop myself as my fist clenches and I swing it at him, landing it square on his jaw. His head barely moves to the side as I swing again and again.
He doesn’t stop me, instead he just keeps stepping into me until he is too close to hit. His chest heaves as he stares into my soul with his silver eyes, the ones I craved to have on me so much, but now a new feeling emerges and I find I want to poke them out.
“How fucking dare you.” I squeak out, “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! H-h-how could you make me love you when you knew…what the hell is wrong with you–”
Then, in a blur, he flies from me, his body slamming into a tree as a wolf stands between us, the gray fur back facing me as he snarls at Dev, who pops back up as if unaffected.
“Leave, Dev.” I shout, “Now. I don’t want to see you ever again.”
“I’m not leaving you with him!” He roars in anger, his eyes red and filled with fury.
“I’d much rather be with him than you.” I hiss, spewing my hatred as I watch the anger turn to agony.