Sold to the Alpha With Silver Eyes - Chapter 47: Chapter 47

*Dev*
Never in my life have I questioned anything in my life. Not to the magnitude I have done in the past months. For years, I had an uncle I trusted and has always shown genuine care for me, a cousin I may not always get along with, but we have always had each other’s back if needed.
And now, since Eden came blazing into my life, I can’t tell upside down from right side up anymore. Alpha’s participating in breeders auctions, attacking and killing my choice for future beta. Their claims of protection under my uncle, random attacks on our pack, my uncle bringing up giving my title to my cousin.
Then there is what happened between Nate and Paxton in the dungeon. I haven’t even had time to process that shit yet. What the words they spoke mean or if they were meaningless. Add to all of it the ache of losing Eden forever. I am stuck in a web of lies, not only of my own making, but of all those around me.
“You look awful.” Topher says, sauntering up to me as I lay in the center of the practice pitch, fists bloody and droves of stones and boulders scattered around me broken. If I could drink away my sorrows I would have tried, but too much relies on me. Too many people would be disappointed in me and the one already disappointed is more than enough.
“Yeah, well, I feel fucking awful, too.” I mutter, pushing myself up into a sitting position. He frowns down at me, sighing heavily. “What are you doing here?”
“Leoni mind linked me.” He shrugs, plopping down next to me. I groan, annoyed, before falling back to the ground.
“Oh, and what did she say? Am I losing my mind? Or perhaps I’m having a mental breakdown and a danger to myself?” I snap out at him and he chuckles.
“Nah, she just said you might need a friend right now.” Topher shrugs as I look over, staring at his back. “I know you and Hastings were always the closer two, but I do hope you know that you can always talk with me, too. You can trust me.”
Guilt twists in my stomach as I exhale and realize just how shitty of a friend I have been. Not that I have had much of a brain outside of the constant hits, it feels like I have been taking.
“Shit, Toph.” I exhale. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that…fuck, I don’t even know where to start. So much is happening. Not good shit either, and I’m not sure how to process it. Hastings always had a way of just…inserting his input in and forcing conversations out of me.”
“Well then, considering this as me forcing you to open up.” He says, looking back at me, then he scans the area around me, wincing. “Doctor’s order, you need to open up before you break your body beyond repair. Shit, man, you killed Paxton before there was even an order to kill him.”
I spring up, my eyes on him, narrowing as I try to read his expression.
“What do you mean?” I ask and he frowns, giving me the “Are you stupid” glare.
“I am the top healer and your uncle apparently thinks I should have no downtime. I examined Paxton’s body. He had several wounds that were already partially healed and with you calling his death right after the alpha’s mind link…”
“Shit, so does my uncle know?” I ask, my stomach dropping.
“No, because you are my alpha and friend. I’m not sure you have had the time to notice, but your uncle has seemed shifty for years.” He mutters, playing with the hem of his shirt on his palm.
“If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?” I ask him.
“You’ve been a little busy with your future mate.” He says, meeting my gaze with a hint of judgement. It doesn’t bother me to see it in him, hell I would judge me too. All I have done is make rash decisions on my own without knowing what exactly to expect outcome wise or how it will affect me.
“I have no intention of actually mating with Jasmine.” I whisper, looking around. His brows pull together, confused.
“Then why the hell are you avoiding Eden and going through with all the ceremony plans and meetings?” He asks. I know he knows more than he is letting on, but I get the feeling I want me to talk it out. He is mentally doctoring me up, and instead of feeling upset, it feels…like I might be finally getting clearer vision.
“Eden deserves the distance she asked for. How the hell can I even stand in front of her and ever ask her for forgiveness? I am the reason her family died so painfully. And with Jasmine, I have to go through the motions. She does not want this mate ship either, but in order to ensure that Nate remains un-throned, I have to pretend to be wooing her, taking strides forward.”
“Interesting.” he hums, looking away as he leans back onto his palms. “So you do love Eden, but can’t be with her because you would have to give up your family right to the throne to Nate. Have you ever wondered if he would do a terrible job or not?”
“Nate has never been one to fight or join in any of the king’s meetings. All the good standing relationships we have with outer packs is because I go out there personally—”
“Dev, I am not attacking you. I am just asking a reasonable question. If you feel he would do poorly, then all you have to do is say that,” Topher says, his voice patient.
“I haven’t had a fucking minute to think about anything. Everything just builds and builds.” I admit hating how weak I sound in my own ears. I sound like a whiny child complaining, begging for sympathy when from the outside I have everything anyone would dream of.
“Then think about it now, out loud or quietly. If you need a sounding board, just talk to me.” He says, and I can see how sincere he is. Topher always has been a solid friend, but he is right. Hastings and I just…we just knew each other better. Growing up together has that effect.
“What are your thoughts on the king?” I ask him and he tilts his head in deep contemplation.
“Do you mean on a personal level or as a king?” He asks.
“I don’t know…” I admit, just wanting to hear it from someone other than Leoni that perhaps I have misplaced my trust in him.
“He has ruled decently enough while waiting for you to grow up to take the throne.” He says, but I can hear in his voice there is more he wants to say. Topher pauses and then exhales, turning to face me as he drags his legs in, knees out in crisscross fashion. “That said, there have been many moments where I wonder if his words and actions are genuine or if they are a facade. For example, when it comes to the illegal breeders’ auctions.”
“What about them?” I arch a brow.
“What has he done to ensure they stay dead in the water? There have been no outer patrols going out like our group did, not a single one. I have asked around. Since you came back, every group hunting them was recalled and nothing has happened since it is like everything regarding them has stalled.”
“That is not possible. I picked the patrols myself.” I say, doubting him, and he shakes his head.
“No one has left, Dev. I can assure you my information is solid.” He tells me, and my forehead wrinkles as I try to figure out what that means.
“You don’t think…maybe the contracts that ended up being legal…” I ask, looking at him and he gives me a look that says to continue to connect the dots. “No, there is no way he is allowing them to happen.”
I am doubting my uncle on several fronts, but this one…I can’t imagine it. He wouldn’t just be undermining what I stand for but what my father died for. It was angered creeps who wanted to buy a body for a night that took my father from me. My uncle was just as destroyed as I was. Breeder auctions are personal to us. To our family, I can’t imagine he would ever let them exist.
“During Paxton’s interrogation, there were things I heard, things I was alpha ordered not to repeat or share with another soul, but Dev, I am telling you, look into this.”
“Fuuuuck,” I grunt, covering my face, overwhelmed with emotions. “Everything is so FUCKED!”
I roar out; the ground rumbling around us as Topher places his hand on my shoulder.
“What can I do to help you?” He asks, and I shake my head, shrugging, before I chuckle dryly.
“How the fuck would I know? I can’t even think straight. All I can think about is fucking Eden. I just need to be near her so I can calm down and process everything but I can;t be near her without her consuming my every cell.”
Topher exhales, blowing a low whistle out of his mouth.
“You are smitten.” He teases and I roll my eyes.
“She was my one true mate, Toph. And I rejected her, after signing the order on her family’s execution.” The words sound distant, as if I am trying to push them away and pretend it wasn’t me who did all that, but…it was.
My actions only ever cause her pain, and that kiss…oh heavens, that kiss awakened my lycan in a way that he has never stirred. He is angry and volatile, his control slipping forward when I least expect it.
“Shit balls.” Topher winces. “That is complicated.”
“I am losing control of my lycan.” I whisper, admitting what I have been too afraid to say to anyone, let alone myself. “He is angry with me, pushing me away and fighting for control, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep him at bay. There is no sleep with how heavy my soul feels and how busy my mind is. Jasmine is trying to be a friend like she always has been, but every time I look at her, I blame her for the pain Eden is feeling.”
Topher stands, dusting himself off before he reaches out to help me up. I take his hand and he smiles, not one of happiness or comfort, but one that says he has got my back. Then he motions for me to follow him. I arch a brow and frown as he chuckles and sticks his hands in his pocket.
“Trust is hard for you right now, so we are going to go talk to the one person you do trust.” He shrugs. “And I will help you with the sleep issue, which will give you more control over your lycan.”
“Okay, but I thought you were the person I could trust the most now?” I ask, giving him a weird look. He laughs and shakes his head.
“You are trusting me now because you have no one else. What you need is to talk to Hastings.” He says like it is just the simplest thing ever. I scoff, dragging my hand over my face, annoyed.
“Yeah, well, how about you get me a sleep tonic first?” I say, and he ignores me.
“Hastings may be dead, but you can still talk to him. I often found it therapeutic just talking aloud so I could hear my own thoughts outside of my head and them seek a solution.”
“And that is what you think I need to do? As a healer, you are suggesting I talk to a dead man in order to help me get answers?” a bubble of laughter erupts from my throat as I shake my head and follow him anyway, unable to stop laughing at the crazy suggestion.
“Leoni speaks to Hastings.” He says, turning to look at me with a serious scowl on his face.
“Leoni has different beliefs than me.” I remind him, and he frowns at me.
“And here you are struggling to process a single thought where she was able to process a death and still be sound for advice and take care of a woman struggling with horrible trauma.”
“Ok yeah, well, not everyone handles things the same way,” I sneer at him.
“Just shut up and move your ass. You were sitting on the ground ready to fucking cry and the first attempt at helping you get from someone you want to turn down because you think it won’t work?” He finally sounds angry with me, his eyes gauging me like a shrink assessing a patient.
“Yeah, well, maybe I’m not desperate enough to try that extreme of a method yet.” I mutter, feeling like a dickhead.
“You are.” He says, turning back around. “As your healer and friend, I am telling you that right now, you are the very definition of lost and desperate. So shut the fuck up and accept this help.”
I rear back, caught off guard by his demanding anger. But then again, perhaps I am being whiny and obstinate. So I exhale loud enough that he can hear my displeasure without me verbalizing it, and then I follow him the distance to where Hasting’s headstone is.