stardust | park seonghwa - Chapter 6: Chapter 6

FROM where I stood, I can see Yeosang looking at me, clearly unimpressed and I can tell why. I know it's past half an hour since his class ended and I must've gotten carried away with hanging out with Seonghwa, but I mean, did I really go out for that long for him to shoot me with the daggers in his eyes?
"Where were you?" he asks, eyeing me suspiciously when I get to the roastery with my paper bag of stationery.
Shrugging, I shake off his stare. "Oh, nowhere," I answer before flashing him a smile.
"What's in that?"
"Pens and books and shit," I answer him, "what are we getting?" I ask, looking through the menu card.
Gasping, Yeosang almost slams his hands on the desk, looking at me wide eyed and causing me to flinch at his sudden move. "Were you with a guy?" he gapes, "please don't tell me it's Jung Wooyou- wait, you have no other guy friends though."
"Wooooooooooooowww," I groan, dragging the word longer than it should.
"Were you hunting for photoshoot locations again?" he attempts to ask again.
"I wish I had the time, honestly," I sigh, letting my cheek rest on the warmth of my palm and letting my eyes roam the room.
They rest on a particular table near the back of the shop and I'm instantly reminded of yesterday. A slight tingle tickles the back of my shoulder blade and as I furrow my brows, a small trigger releases and somehow, with my own eyes I see myself and the two other figures I was with yesterday in a faint shadowy silhouette.
I shake my head quickly and blink rapidly in shock, fishing myself out from that ... whatever that was. Yeosang, who had been watching me tilts his head curiously. "You okay, Shin-ah?" he asks, "your eyes were a bit crossed before, you want me to teach you how to cross it properly?" Yeosang proceeds to lift his index finger to be parallel with his eyes before pushing his finger to the middle of his nose bridge.
"No, no, Yeosang I know how to do it!" I quickly pull how his hand from his nose, "it's just..."
The boy in front of me hums, waiting for the next thing I will say.
Honestly, I didn't know how to put this into words. There are so many questions that I want to ask him and I know it's probably a bit too soon but I can't help but think about it, you know? A part of me wants my mind to shut the hell up but on the other end, my curiosity always takes over.
"Come on, I know you want to say something," Yeosang sighs, reaching out for a napkin before folding them out of boredom.
When I still don't say anything, Yeosang nudges my foot lightly with his, telling me to go on and he will not judge for whatever I'll say.
Taking a breath, I finally say, "how did you feel when you got your mark?" whilst drawing little invisible patterns on the wooden table.
It's a pretty sensitive topic when it comes to Yeosang and I could tell by the way he suddenly stiffens in his seat, his fingers hovering over the folded napkin for a split second. Realising my mistake for suddenly burdening my question on him, I quickly shake my hands.
"I mean- I don't- I don't know much about it and -"
"It felt great, to be honest," Yeosang cuts me off, but looking sincere with his words. That makes my mind tangle in confusion.
"Eh?"
"It's weird, yeah?" he asks rhetorically, knowing that I'd say yes, "but I can't lie to you that knowing that I got it, I don't feel lonely as much."
Yeosang pauses for a moment to let a waitress place our orders on our table - two plates of carbonara pasta, a mug of hot pumpkin latté for him and a cup of fresh cappuccino for me. There's a small whiff of silence as the clattering of cutlery sounds as the waitress places them down for us and she leaves with a polite smile, telling us to enjoy our meal.
I know that Yeosang would want nothing more but to completely drop the conversation, but I guess my selfishness takes over and I slowly find myself getting annoyed when he doesn't say another word.
"Can you continue?" I quietly ask, "I'm sorry, I'm just, really curious."
There's a brief silence.
"You know, maybe finding my soulmate isn't for me," Yeosang finally tells me and I feel myself frown. "But knowing that someone will always have your back, quite literally too, has really been a pretty great self motivation."
"Hyeshin, do you know why the mark is on the left side of our backs?" he asks me suddenly.
To that, I shake my head no and completely oblivious as to the reason why.
After taking a bite of his lunch, the boy in front of me begins to explain.
"You bear a lot of things with your back," he starts, "and have you thought about the many sayings that refers to one's back? That's because your back represents strength and resistence."
"I've never thought about it that way before," I find myself saying.
"Yeah, I know," Yeosang grins a lopsided smile, "so it basically implies that your celestial partner will be your source of power and you for theirs. And your left side?"
"That's where your heart is," he states, "so no matter if you've found them or not, as long as you have your mark, your heart will always belong to them whether or not you realise it. It's like a reassurance, a reminder, I guess, that you have someone out there. And you know that they're somewhere, you've been in contact with them before."
"What about the people who haven't gotten theirs yet?"
"That's what I told you many times," he shrugs, "some people aren't as lucky as others, but some prefer to make it stay that way."
"Why?"
Yeosang, who had been explaining to me with his eyes fixed on mine the entire time, now lets his gaze drop down and his fingers let his fork play with his food.
"Because it's better than being hurt from knowing that you have someone waiting for you, but you don't know who."
Before I even have time to react, Yeosang lifts his head up and I see a bright smile on his face. "You know, sometimes I feel them tracing their mark," he tells me, fondness glimmering in his eyes, "I can feel it, on my skin."
My eyes grow wide. Just how deep does this connection if the mark go?
"At those times it makes me think that maybe, they want to know who I am too. No, I know they want to know who I am too," Yeosang twirls his fork in between his slender fingers.
"Have you felt that too since you got it?" he asks me.
Blinking, I don't really know what to answer. "I-I... I don't really know," I reply, "it's too early to tell."
Yeosang nods and with such a lighthearted feeling, he tells me what it feels like.
"It's the best feeling in the world," he speaks, "and I wish I could feel it every second- don't look at me like that, Hyeshin! What!? It's true!"
I giggle at his reaction when I gave him a slightly disgusted look at his cheesy words.
"Go on," I urge him to continue, I playful smile playing on my lips. "Tell me how it feels like."
The light-brown haired boy scoffs, blowing a strand of hair that had fallen over his eyes before continuing.
"It just feels so calming, you know, like a small tingle," he tells me in a slightly dreamy tone (which is a rare occurance then it comes to Kang Yeosang, by the way, so I've got to enjoy this form of entertainment while it lasts). "And I wish I knew what they're trying to say but it feels a bit faint, so even if they wrote something, I wouldn't even know what they've written."
I nod my head in understanding.
Yeosang then gasps as he remembers something. "Wait! Actually I've understood one before! Just one though!" he exclaims, making a few heads turn our way but we ignore it as I too, lean in excitement to hear what he has to say.
"It was late at night and I was busy doing my project," he starts off, "and as I was drifting to sleep because of how tired I was, I felt something on my back."
"That's when I realised, the longer I felt it, that they were writing something!" he says, "if I hadn't concentrated so hard that it made my head spin, I wouldn't know what they said but I did and guess what they wrote!"
"What?" I repeat after him, a big grin on my face.
"They said 'good night'," and that was enough to make me squeal.
"And then?"
"And I couldn't understand anything else," he finishes, with a small smile. "But at least I know they care about me."
"Wow, that's so cool!" I gush in admiration.
"But then again, it could've been my mind playing tricks on me," Yeosang sighs with a tone of disappointment, "because after that, I couldn't really feel anything as clear as that 'good night'"
"Can everyone actually do that? The, you know, the that thing?"
"I don't know," he tells me, chuckling "now that you know, can we go buy some food for my Alfred after we finish?"
Stifling a laugh, I see his goldfish, Alfred in my mind and realise that it's been a long time since I've seen him. Grinning, I quicken my eating pace.
"Of course!" I chirp, "I haven't seen visited for a while!"