Stockholm Syndrome? - Chapter 27: Chapter 27

~Archer~
I tried to enjoy myself. I really tried, but it was hard. I was battling so many emotions it was hard to laugh at something I genuinely found funny. Damian of course wanted to know who Felix was. I replied with "asshole I know" and left it at that.
He didn't fail to notice how tense I was so after the dessert we ordered after our meals he suggested a stroll. He knew a place that was not far from the restaurant and my apartment. I knew I was supposed to be cautious, but I was too angry to care.
The night air was refreshing. It tried to untie the many knots in my neck; it didn't succeed in untying all. Either way, the little relief was better.
Damian and I walked along the sidewalk. It was almost empty. The serenity was beautiful. We didn't talk much, which was probably what made the walk calming. It was just me and my thoughts and the occasional lovely glance from my companion.
Then something entered my visual field and within nanoseconds it was gone as I glanced behind me. I stumbled a little on the sidewalk. My heart was starting to race.
"You okay?" Damian asked. 3rd time. He must have thought I was weird by then.
"I'm fine".
I felt his hand touch mine slightly. He laced our fingers together. He was trying to assure me that I was safe and I welcomed the feeling his hand gave me. I didn't overanalyze what he did.
My eyes caught movement again from behind, and like the first time, I turned back and saw nothing. Damian looked back again.
"There's nothing and no one behind us", he assured.
"I know...it's just a stupid feeling", I said.
I couldn't believe there was nothing behind us. I knew there was, and I knew that thing had dark eyes and a thing for hookers. Felix was following me again. What did I expect? It's not like he listened to me.
My heart started to relax. That is was Felix following us comforted me. For a few seconds I had believed someone else was following us.
A short while after we left the restaurant, Damian walked me to my apartment. I'd enjoyed the walk with him. I hadn't known that a night walk could be calming and refreshing. Damian had picked a nice spot for us.
We got to my door.
"I had a great time", I said smiling.
"I did too. I think I like you tenfold now", he said shyly.
I smiled.
"I should get going", he said slowly.
"Um...yeah, thanks for tonight", I said.
"It was no trouble at all", I said.
The door opened suddenly. Felix was standing there. Damian was surprised to see the "asshole I know" in my apartment.
"Hi, bye", Felix said to him dismissively.
The cheek of that asshole!
In a fit of anger and defiance, I pressed my lips against Damian's fiercely. Damian was stunned, but it only took him a few seconds to respond to the kiss. Like any kiss out of defiance, it was...hmm... indescribable, and not in a good way. It was a kiss, I felt nothing. It was the act rather than the kiss that made it memorable.
"If you guys want a room, it's available. Like a lot of other things and...people, it's free" Felix said.
Did he just call me free? He was teasing me at the wrong moment! I pulled back from the kiss, turned and punched him in the face. He didn't anticipate the punch; I hit him square in the face. My knuckles hurt as my fist connected with Felix's facial bones, but damn it felt good.
Damian was shell-shocked.
"You still want him? He's obviously violent", Felix said to Damian after he recovered from the punch.
"I...uh..." Damian started.
"Don't mind him. This asshole is Alex's cousin and he's drunk", I said. "I'll talk to you on WhatsApp?"
"Sure", he said smiling.
"Great. Goodnight", I said.
"Goodnight", he said. He walked away slowly.
I pushed Felix inside and closed the door.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" my voice bellowed.
"I...uh..." he said. He seemed stunned.
"You couldn't maintain your erection with your hooker and now you want to ruin my life?!" I yelled.
"You think I slept...I didn't!" he said.
"Right. You were busy following me after I told you not to do it!" I yelled.
He shook his head. "I didn't follow you".
"Don't fucking lie Felix. I saw you. You started following us after Damian and I left the restaurant. I spotted you so you have lost your edge", I said.
His eyes enlarged. "When I left the restaurant I came back here. I did not follow you. Someone must have..." he said and I cut in.
"Oh shut up! I am fucking tired of you!" I said. A split second later I heard my voice. It was like an echo.
Felix moved to grab something on the couch.
"Don't you dare!" I warned. I ran to grab what looked like an ear pod. It wasn't connected to anything. I turned it around, inspecting it.
I put it close to my ear and whispered, "Hello". I could hear the words clearly, coming through the ear pod.
I turned to Felix with fire in my eyes.
"Tell me this is not what I think it is", I said.
"That is... not what you think it is?" he said sheepishly.
"You put a wire on me?!" I yelled.
"Kind of. Technically it's not a wire. It's a..."
"That's it! I have heard it with you! I'm going to bed. I swear if you knock on my door I am going to castrate you with my foot, and trust me, I know how to kick balls", I said.
I marched to my bedroom and got a blanket and pillow. I threw them on the floor.
"Sleep tight", I said through clenched teeth.
"Goodnight Pancakes", he said.
His voice was so sweet, it almost melted me. Almost. I was still angry, so angry I almost broke the key locking my door.
When I lay on my bed that night, I realized I was in too deep. The shackles were already around my ankles. I was angry at myself more than I was at Felix. He'd only tried to protect me. He was clear on his goal. I was the one whose feelings were all over the place. My speech about boundaries hadn't worked. Because now I knew I was the one who jumped over them at will without even realizing. I was digging my own grave.
==
~Felix~
When I left the restaurant I went straight to Archer's apartment. He was livid with me and I didn't want to risk aggravating him. The location tracker I'd put on his phone told me he was close to the apartment so I wasn't too worried. Though I didn't have my eyes on him anymore, I continued listening to his conversation with his date.
Fewer words were exchanged, which worried me. I knew they were okay, but them not talking meant they were doing something else. I didn't want to think of what it was they could have been doing. I heard Archer's breath catch. I had to remove the ear pod or I risked destroying everything in the apartment.
I lay on the couch to try and relax. Archer was fine and healthy so why was I getting worked up? He had every right to go on dates. I didn't own him, and as he'd so said he wanted a life he didn't see having with me. It wasn't what he said but it was what I concluded. He saw himself as my pet and he didn't want that. I didn't see him as my pet so it was just his way of telling me he didn't really want me in his life.
Too bad for him; I was staying until I was certain he was safe.
I didn't lie on the couch for long before I heard footsteps and voices outside the door. I looked at the icon displaying the location of Archer's cell phone. He was standing right outside. I sighed in relief, he was back and he was okay.
My relief didn't last long. He was standing out there with the idiot who'd asked him out. Odds were the boy was trying to kiss him. I stood up and practically ran to the door. All thoughts about being nothing to Archer flew out. My possessiveness prevailed.
I opened the door abruptly, hoping to stop the disgusting act. Archer and Damian were standing there, a little too close for my liking. Thankfully they didn't look like they were about to kiss.
"Hi, bye", I said to Damian, gesturing down the corridor with my head in case he didn't get my emphasis on "bye".
I could swear Archer's eyes were glowing embers of hate towards me, but I didn't see them for long. In a heartbeat he had his lips pressed on Damian's. Damian responded to the kiss. My heart lurched so hard I was stunned by my reaction. It was...painful.
I could picture breaking all of Damian's bones when I said, "If you guys want a room, it's available. Like a lot of other things and...people, it's free". I forced my voice to be light.
Archer pulled back from the kiss and before I knew it, his fist connected with my face. He'd caught me totally off guard. I was as impressed as I wasn't impressed. He'd managed to hit me without me offering myself on a silver platter. It was good for him. It was bad for me. My jealousy was clouding my senses. The boy was my weakness in more ways than one.
I massaged my face. "You still want him? He's obviously violent", I said to Damian.
I didn't pay attention to what he said. I just looked at Archer. He looked so determined. I thought back to Ricky's words. He was wrong. Archer didn't like me, not the way I wanted him to like me.
Minutes later he pushed me inside and closed the door. Damian had left.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" he yelled.
He was angry. He'd been angry all night, but that time it was different. I couldn't even bring myself to tease him. My feelings were just all over the place.
"You couldn't maintain your erection with your hooker and now you want to ruin my life?!" he yelled.
"You think I slept...I didn't!" I yelled back.
Refuting what he believed happened between Ricky and I was my quickest reaction after he'd stunned me by kissing Damian. I'd let him believe anything else except that. I had no desires to sleep with Ricky. I had no desire to sleep with anyone. He had to know that!
"Right. You were busy following me after I told you not to do it!" he said.
I shook my head. "I didn't follow you".
"Don't fucking lie Felix. I saw you. You started following us after Damian and I left the restaurant. I spotted you so you have lost your edge", I said.
I swallowed hard. My eyes must have shown what I had come to realize. Someone had followed Archer that night and it wasn't me. Someone was on his trail. The Vasiliev brothers knew where he was. Whoever they had sent had gotten close enough for him to spot them. They could have hurt him right there and then. It wasn't just a threat now, the danger was real.
"When I left the restaurant I came back here. I did not follow you. Someone must have..." I said and he cut in.
"Oh shut up! I am fucking tired of you!" he said.
I couldn't say anything. I wanted badly to make him aware of the danger he was in but I knew Archer already, he wasn't going to listen. He was too stubborn for his own good.
He spotted the ear pod I'd been using before he came back. I hadn't switched it off and the volume was loud enough for him to hear his own voice. He grabbed it before I could. One lousy explanation later from my side he said,
"That's it! I have heard it with you! I'm going to bed. I swear if you knock on my door I am going to castrate you with my foot, and trust me, I know how to kick balls".
He went to get a blanket and a pillow from his room and threw them on the floor next to me.
"Sleep tight", he snarled.
"Goodnight Pancakes", I said.
I lay on the couch. Sleep didn't come. Archer was in danger, but that was the second thing on my mind. The first thing on my mind was my reaction to him being with Damian. I finally allowed myself to think of what Ricky had said. He thought I loved him. He said it was in the way I looked at him. Besides my mom I had never loved anyone. I thought love was a useless feeling, like most feelings.
I'd gone for so long shunning love I didn't even know what it was. How could I say I loved Archer?
But...I... did. It was a profound realization. I didn't need a textbook definition of what love was. I loved him. He had the ability to suspend time for me, to make me look at him and see only him. My love for him had swept me up in a whirlwind of feelings I tried to suppress, but I knew they were there. It wasn't his bravery or his naivety or his annoyed look. It was the patience I was learning with him, the way I felt at home and in peace when I was around him. It was the way I wanted to lie in bed with him – no, not have sex. I wanted to watch the rays of the sun fall on his face, see that beautiful pout, see him wake up. I wanted to see that annoyed stare every day, hear my heart beat faster watching his face turn pink. I wanted to know his thoughts.
I was absolutely, irrevocably and madly in love. At the worst possible time.
I tossed, turned and kicked off my blanket. For once I had no idea what to do.
I heard a key being inserted in the door. It opened shortly. I narrowed my eyes just before the light was switched on. The boy with wavy hair jumped when he saw me.
"It's Felix", I said.
He let out a gush of air. He was definitely a scaredy-cat.
"Man you scared me", he said as he closed the door and locked it.
"I thought Archer told you", I said.
"He did. I just didn't expect you here" he said switching off the light and walking towards his bedroom.
"You expected me in your bedroom?" I asked quirking a brow. Or maybe he expected me in Archer's bedroom.
"No. I...well; I don't know what I expected. Goodnight", he said.
"Goodnight", I said.
I was able to fall asleep after that. My subconscious thought it would be a good idea to torture me. I had a dream about Archer and Damian making out. I wasn't used to dreaming. It was horrible.
I woke up early the next morning. I was cursed with that. My eyes just spontaneously opened. I reckoned the only time I had slept past 6 am was when Archer was in bed with me. I planned to get some of my clothes that Sunday, but I waited a while before going to wake Archer up.
I knocked on the door. Silence. I knocked again.
"Go away!" he yelled.
"Come on Pancakes, wake up", I said, deliberately defying him.
After a few seconds the door was jerked open. "For fuck's sake Felix, it's early", he said. He looked like someone who hadn't slept properly. His eyes looked heavy and his hair was tousled. He still looked gorgeous.
"You usually wake up early to jog", I said shrugging.
He scowled at me. "God help me, I want to smash your head in right now!" he snarled.
"You can smash my head in the car. We need to go. I need to get my things", I said.
He considered me. "Okay fine", he said simply. "But I have rules".
"Yeah?"
"You and I are nothing to each other. You are my self-appointed bodyguard and that's how it ends. When I don't want to talk, I don't want to talk", he said.
He threw slaps, punches and kicks all at the same time. You and I are nothing to each other...his words echoed in my head. How could I possibly tell him I loved him after that?
"Okay", I said quietly.
"Great. From now on, don't say anything unless it is absolutely necessary. I don't want to talk to you at the moment", he said.
I nodded.
"Give me a couple of minutes to freshen up", he said.
I nodded again. I felt defeated. If I did what he wanted, he wouldn't love me either way, but he would at least not hate me.
==
The ride to the cabin was silent. Archer looked out the window. He couldn't even look at me. I drove at a reasonable speed and a couple of minutes after we left, we arrived.
I parked and got out; Archer didn't.
"Don't you wanna come in?" I asked tentatively.
"No", he said after lowering the window. His arms were crossed.
"I don't want to leave you here", I said.
"Gosh Felix, you have the keys on you. I won't steal your damn car!" he said.
"You think this is about the car?" I yelled. "I don't care about that piece of metal".
"Then what on earth do you think will happen? You'll be a few meters away", he said.
The boy was stubborn beyond my comprehension. I had half a mind to open the door, grab him and carry him bridal-style to the cabin.
"You seem to have forgotten what you saw on my phone. Get out of the car or I will carry you out of it!" I said firmly. I was going to respect some of his wishes. He was mistaken if he thought I was going to obey his careless whims.
He groaned and got out of the car.
"That's much better", I said as I locked it.
I walked to the cabin and Archer followed closely behind. I unlocked and made him wait a little so I could do an inspection. The cabin held beautiful memories. I instantly remember the feel of Archer lying in my arms as I passed the living area. I didn't want to remember, but the scent of wood and earth dragged me to those memories. It felt like just the previous day I'd fed him oatmeal in that room, catching his disgusted expressions and trying my best not to laugh out loud.
I checked all the rooms before walking into the bedroom. It was like walking onto a set of a movie, remembering all the scenes that had happened there. Archer wasn't in the room, but I saw him.
I shook my head and focused on why I was there. I checked everywhere, locating no foreign objects or people. The place was secure. I walked back and ushered Archer in. Even his walk showed his annoyance.
I led him to the bedroom. At least I thought I was leading him until I realized he wasn't following me. I walked back and found him in the living area, sitting on one of the couches.
"Archer", I said.
He turned to me. "I am not going with you to the bedroom", he said firmly.
"You..." I said and he cut in.
"Tick-tock. The quicker you start packing, the faster we get out of here", he said and shrugged. "If you finish quickly, I won't be in here alone for long".
I huffed and gave in. I went back to my bedroom and packed a small duffel bag. Clothes and toiletries weren't the only things I packed. I put in a variety of medications and fresh syringes, bandages, a few scalpels and ammunition.
I hoisted the bag on my shoulder and went to the living room.
"All set", I said.
He stood up quietly and started walking. He didn't even look at me. It was time I accepted that this wasn't like his ever-present annoyance. This was real.
We walked back to the car and started on the journey back. I didn't know when I'd be back at the cabin and I didn't want to think about it.
==
The rest of the day went okay. Archer and I didn't talk. He stared at his phone and laughed. He jumped at the texts he got. I thought about breaking his phone into pieces a couple of times.
When we went to bed that night, it was clear what our relationship was. I had only one goal now. I was just waiting for the Vasiliev brothers to make a move, and maybe sooner was better. I couldn't stay with Archer forever.