Stockholm Syndrome? - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

The day passed with no more interesting conversations. Konstantin didn't come back that day or the next day. Stavros said he had classes. Except for occasional bathroom breaks, I didn't move from my chair. Since Konstantin didn't come, Stavros gave me some food. Even though he seemed a bit nice, he was stingy with the food. I ate what I got.
There were more smells from the room next to us. They usually lasted a few minutes before they disappeared altogether. Stavros didn't seem worried, but I was. So far there was nothing alarming about my health, but I couldn't help but expect something to creep up. I knew the chemicals in the room were dangerous. I didn't want to die a slow agonizing death or be mauled to death by fire.
By the third day I was more agitated. It wasn't just the meth lab I was worried about. The bearded guy who I had learned was Stefan had given Felix three days to accomplish his task. I was curious to know if Felix had done it. I was hoping he hadn't, but all that hope came crushing down when Stefan walked into the room.
It was late in the afternoon. Stavros was occupying his beloved seat at the table, occasionally looking at me. Konstantin wasn't in, but Stavros had said he would come in. He'd said there were going to be more people that night because they were moving the crystal meth they'd made.
Stefan was beaming. I could swear his bald head was shining. With him were two men who looked identical. Stavros immediately stood up.
"I'd like you to meet someone", he said to me.
I frowned, but didn't possess the energy to make snarky comments about him or his companions. I was worried about Felix and the boy.
"This is Igor and this is Casey, also known as the Vasiliev brothers", Stefan said.
Standing before me were two men who looked as ugly as Stefan, if not more. They were big, but looked fit. They were significantly taller than me with short prickly blond hair. They looked alike, but more like siblings than identical twins.
"Hi", I said rolling my eyes.
"Why is he not gagged?" The uglier brother asked. Igor, if I had paid enough attention.
Stefan looked at Stavros.
"He...um...he's very compliant", Stavros said under the intense gaze of the bald man. I was certain he was sweating through his waterproof jacket.
Stefan shook his head at Stavros. "Anyway, I have good news", he said and passed me a newspaper.
I merely looked at it as it fell at my feet; it was not like I could catch it even though I didn't want to.
"Stavros, page 6, death notice section I presume", he said nudging Stavros towards me.
Stavros walked to me and picked up the newspaper, paging it. He bent down and held the newspaper to my level so I could see the print. My eyes got blurry after the words '...5 year old son of Thomas Gonzalez". I'd heard that name before. Felix had told me that night we'd slept on his bed at the cottage that Thomas Gonzalez was the other drug kingpin. I couldn't read further.
Felix had done it.
My heart stopped – at least it felt like it stopped. My stomach knotted. All my hope came crushing down, leaving me desolate, barren. I couldn't keel over, but I wanted deliberately to do that. The tears wanted to come out but looking at Stefan and the brothers, I couldn't cry.
"Take it away", I said to Stavros.
He nodded and stood up, walking away from me with the newspaper.
"Your boyfriend will be here in a few hours. I'm sure you will be happy to see him", Stefan said.
I didn't say anything.
"But you can't go with him yet", the other brother finally spoke. His voice was thick and heavily accented. "You see, we need Gonzalez at his knees. If his son's death doesn't make him cave, we'll have to use your boyfriend again".
I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even remind them that they'd promised to let me go. I was just so empty.
"He's done well. We'll have to talk about permanent employment. Despite his...disgusting taste... "He said looking at me like I was some rotten eggs, "...he's good at his job".
All I could think about was that little innocent boy. I wondered if his death had been sudden or slow. I wondered if he had experienced any pain. What method had Felix used? How had he gotten close to the boy to pull it off? My mind was reeling with questions.
"I will be back tonight", Stefan said. "Keep an eye on him, make sure he's fed and presentable", he said to Stavros.
He walked out of the room and the brothers followed in tow. Though the brothers were supposed to be the kingpins, it looked as though Stefan called the shots.
When the door was closed, I turned to Stavros. "Is Stefan the boss?" I enquired.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Is he above the brothers?"
He shook his head. "He's the genius, the mad mastermind. He's their right-hand man and they listen to him. They rarely leave their cozy places up the ladder so when it comes to stuff down here, Stefan takes care of everything. I doubt they know much about what really goes on down here".
"And you? Where are you on the ladder?"
"I do whatever Stefan tells me. I take care of the odd things. By odd I mean things that don't have to do with the merchandize".
"Do you like it?"
"Let's just say I have siblings to feed", he said curtly.
"I hope you get out", I said sincerely.
Stavros was just like the rest, but I took a liking to him. He talked to me, something I valued. I would have gone out of my mind if I had sat there in complete silence. He didn't put the gag on since Konstantin removed it. It was a small gesture and didn't hold much, but the little it did mattered at that time. By talking to him, it stopped my mind from wandering back to what I had read. I could stop myself thinking about Felix.
==
Later on, I asked Stavros to let me go to the bathroom. He complied, letting me into a small bathroom along the passageway that led to the room I was kept in. I was allowed only two bathroom breaks per day which meant I only went when I was certain I couldn't hold it anymore. It was frustrating, but going to the bathroom was the least of my concerns.
I knew it was getting darker outside because the light in the room was getting brighter. After my bathroom break Stavros tied me to the chair. I didn't even resist, knowing even if I ran I wouldn't be able to get out of the building. There were more people there. I could tell by the different voices I heard.
I asked Stavros for the time.
"A quarter to, you are never getting out of here", a new voice entered the room. It was Konstantin. "Man, you look shitty".
"9", Stavros said.
"It's nice to see you again", I said rolling my eyes.
"I wish I could say the same about seeing you", he said.
"It's okay. I know you were holding your sausage hostage to my picture", I said winking.
Konstantin crossed the room in quick strides. His hand was balled in a fist. He was about to lunge at me when Stavros appeared between us.
"Konstantin, control yourself!" he commanded.
"Get the fuck out of my way!" Konstantin growled.
"His boyfriend will be here in a few minutes. If he finds him with fresh bruises, Stefan will be angry", Stavros said.
"Who cares about Stefan?"
"Your uncles!" Stavros replied pushing Konstantin back.
Konstantin huffed and pushed Stavros's hands away from him. He didn't lunge at me though, which was a relief. I mouthed off, but I didn't take pain well. It was a terrible combination – curse you whoever gave it to me.
"You are fucking lucky, faggot", he said.
"Sure I am. I have been tied to a chair in some dingy room next to a meth lab for three days. I couldn't be luckier", I said.
Stavros resumed his seat when he was sure Konstantin was stable. It was probably not going to be for long though.
"I'll be back", Konstantin said leaving the room. He used the meth lab room this time and a part of me hoped he just dropped dead in there.
It was wrong, but I was again realizing the reality of the situation and I was scared. The Vasiliev brothers had said I wouldn't leave until they got what they wanted. This time, Felix couldn't give them what they wanted. He could only facilitate. They were holding both of us hostage.
It finally dawned on me that I was never going to see my family and friends again. Those people were not like Felix. They were not Felix. I'd gone most of the days there treating them like they were actors, that the scene would soon end. It wasn't ending.
I found a lump growing in my throat. The fear was settling in my bones. For once I wondered what my friends thought, if my mom knew. I wasn't sure if my mom could survive another kidnapping of her son.
Konstantin walked back into the room. He had a crystal between his thumb and index, which he appeared to be inspecting.
"You are not supposed..." Stavros said but Konstantin interrupted.
"Shut up! I am not going to use it. I'm merely inspecting it...although, there's no reason why I can't give it to him", he said nodding towards me.
"Are you crazy?" Stavros yelled.
"Just want to see how he is when he's high...and of course when he crashes", Konstantin said.
"You'll be wasting your time. Even high I won't sleep with you. When everything seems great, you'll still be a scrawny pathetic loser", I sneered.
"That's it!" he yelled moving towards me.
My eye caught Stavros standing up, but he froze as a new voice entered the room.
"Don't you dare touch him!"
My heart skipped a beat and for some time forgot how to beat properly. My stomach fluttered as Felix's voice registered with my brain. I had longed to hear that voice even though I didn't know it.
Stefan had said Felix was coming. I hadn't reacted to that, but now I couldn't stop myself. He was there in the flesh.
Konstantin moved to the side as he turned to the door. My eyes moved there too. Felix was standing there, looking as confident as his voice had sounded. His hair was a bit messy but he was immaculately dressed in grey jeans, a grey t-shirt and leather jacket. He looked fresh compared to me. Stefan was behind him.
He walked in confidently. Stefan walked in too and I saw him put a gun on the table Stavros was at. It was a warning to Felix.
"Hey", Felix said to me. His voice was light.
And then my mind remembered. How could his voice be light? He had killed a 5 year old! He had done what I had told him not to do, like always. The other times I hadn't truly meant it, but the thought of him killing a 5 year old made me uncomfortable.
"How the fuck could you?!" I spat.
"Archer, I had..." he said and I cut in.
"You didn't have to fucking do shit!" I yelled. "You could have..."
He cut in this time. "...Let them kill you?"
"Yes!" I screamed. "I deserved it. I was bloody stupid. The kid..."I said and my voice broke. The tears were finally coming out. I couldn't cry in front of the others, but in front of Felix, the dam broke.
"Well this is awkward", Konstantin said.
Felix glared at him and turned back to me. Crouching to my level, he said "What I did, I did for you Pancakes".
"You didn't have to", I managed to say.
He sighed. He looked defeated. "I'm sorry", he whispered.
I looked at the man I loved. He looked down. He looked genuinely hurt, but surely he hadn't expected me to be happy? I was caught between a rock and a hard place again. Felix killing to free me was both good and bad. I wanted to be happy in the knowledge that he did it for me, but I couldn't. I wanted the whole thing to be a nightmare. For once I longed for the quiet two months I'd spent in town. They'd been boring, but the drama was too much.
"Will you kill again?" I asked quietly.
He nodded slowly.
"We gave him a job, a permanent one", Stefan said excitedly.
I gasped.
"Looks like your knight in shining armor is just as rotten as all of us", Konstantin said grinning.
"Yeah, I'm a bad apple", Felix said. His words were ominous.
He looked at me and gave an almost inconspicuous smile. There was a meaning to it, but I couldn't figure out what. I wondered if it hadn't been my imagination as I was busy analyzing it. I wanted badly for the whole thing to be a dream, who is to say I didn't just make the smile up?
Later on I would be certain I didn't, because moments after the smile, I heard voices shouting commands. They weren't clear, but they were rapidly advancing. There were other sounds, like the sounds of someone being thrown into something and load moaning. And then there were gunshots one after another.
"What the hell is going on out there?" Stefan enquired in a sort of panic. "Stavros, come on. Konstantin, you stay here", he said.
He pulled Stavros to his feet and stationed him in front of himself. Stefan was the brains and he sure was not the courageous one. We all watched them leave through the door that led to the passageway. Now that the door was open, the sounds were clearer. They were everywhere. It sounded like a raid.
Konstantin pulled out a gun and aimed at Felix. "You traitor!" he yelled. He obviously understood things before me. I was still stunned by all the commotion happening out there.
Felix grinned. "Technically, you can't betray someone you were never in allegiance with", he said.
With those words I finally understood things. The police were inside the building and were raiding the place. Felix had obviously led them there.
"Sadly, you won't live to see the fruits of your stupidity", Konstantin said holding the gun tighter.
"You are not even holding it right", Felix said.
Before I could even wrap my head around the scenario, things happened in quick procession. Felix moved quickly to where Konstantin was. Konstantin hadn't anticipated that and before he knew it, he had Felix dangerously close to him. They tugged and fought for the gun. A couple of shots went off and I tried to duck down, purposefully tilting my chair so I could be low. Even though the fall was anticipated, it was still painful. My head hit the cold floor and for a few seconds the pain that radiated to m whole head froze me. When I recovered I tried freeing my arms.
I wasn't paying attention to Felix's fight with Konstantin until I heard two more gunshots. I could tell that the gun was still in Konstantin's hand. The shots were obviously aimless, but they hit the door to the connecting room, piercing through.
Felix managed to get the gun away from Konstantin just seconds before I heard a loud explosion that physically moved me a few inches on the floor. The force battered my body, and for the second time that night, my head hit the floor. For a second I felt like I was going to pass out. I tasted metal in my mouth. Somewhere, I was bleeding.
I didn't notice that the light bulb hung from the ceiling had broken up into pieces until I tried to bring my legs up to see if I had anything sharp on my jeans I could use to cut the rope. My leg hit something sharp as I drew it up, and I felt pain where the glass punctured through. I flinched.
I noticed something else. I hadn't noticed the light bulb was broken because the room was still bright. Flames were licking at the walls. They were bright orange and spreading fast. The dreaded had happened. The meth lab had exploded, probably when Konstantin fired through the door. He had probably broken through some containers, allowing chemicals to mix.
My eyes searched hungrily for Felix. He was lying on the floor. For a second I thought he was dead or injured until I saw him swing him arm down to strike something next to him. It was Konstantin. After the blow he seemed unconscious.
Felix got up and I sighed in relief. I think I cried too. I'd been worried the explosion or Konstantin had hurt him. He seemed okay except for a slight limp. He was okay and he was going to help me get out of there. The place was becoming unbearably hot and the smoke was growing thicker. The fire crackled and grew. The wall between the room we were in and the meth lab was totally engulfed. The fire was creeping to the ceiling now. The structure could collapse at any moment.
"Pancakes?" Felix said. His voice was fully of worry. "I'm sorry", he said quietly. His voice was filled with remorse.
"I'm okay. Stop talking and help me get out of this chair. You can be sorry when we are both alive", I said.
He stopped by my leg and the worry lines on his face grew before kneeling near my head. I don't know where he'd gotten it, but he produced a shiny metal-thing. It looked like what doctors used during surgery.
I enquired with my brow.
"I always carry a scalpel", he shrugged.
I just smiled. He wouldn't be Felix without his quirkiness.
He set on the task of cutting the rope. The scalpel was surprisingly very efficient. Within a few seconds, he'd cut enough of the rope for me to wiggle out of it. Now free, I stood up. Felix did too. I was aware that we both had to get out then if we were to make it out alive, but I couldn't help but throw myself into his arms.
"Pancakes?" he enquired.
I couldn't say anything. I just held him tighter, grateful that he'd been there. I was about to let him go when he pushed me forcefully to the side. I almost fell over, stunned by the unexpected move. I barely saw much with my brain clouded by the sudden motion, but I was able to make out Konstantin standing before Felix, just a few centimeters away from me. Felix flicked his arm quickly and plunged something into Konstantin's neck. Konstantin's hands immediately went to his neck and I saw the scalpel Felix had been holding. He collapsed to the floor seconds later.
"I probably shouldn't have done that", Felix said regretfully, looking at Konstantin.
"Are you kidding me? I know what I said about killing, but he deserves it", I said. "Come on; let's get out of here before the ceiling caves".
Felix looked down at his chest. I looked too. Blood was soaking Felix's shirt a little on the left side. The stain was progressively getting bigger, indicating that he was still bleeding from whatever wound he'd sustained.
"Archer go", he said.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Go!" he yelled.
"Aren't you coming?" I said. I was pleading.
He looked down at his shirt again.
"I won't make it. Please go", he said.
I could hear things falling now. The room was coming apart. I heard a thud next to me, and realized Felix had collapsed to the floor. My heart stopped. It wasn't humming in my ears anymore, it was silent. Everything was silent.
I fell to my knees.
"Felix!" I yelled. "Felix, please!" I was begging and I couldn't say aloud what I was begging for. I didn't want to come to terms with what I was facing.
Felix moved his head slowly to face me. His eyes opened.
"Pull my shirt up", he said faintly.
I did so quickly, exposing his chest. The cut on his chest wasn't big. It didn't look fatal. What was happening?
I was about to say something when I was sprayed by blood from the wound. It wasn't a lot, but there was a lot of pressure behind it. Drops hit my face.
"He...nicked my heart...unless blood stops escaping I...I can't...please go", Felix managed to say.
He was looking at me the whole time. There were tears in his eyes. I gasped. Just a few minutes ago we'd both been fine and were leaving the building and now Felix was lying on the ground telling me Konstantin had stabbed him in the heart. It sounded like a plot from a movie with a terrible ending, but it wasn't. It was happening and there was nothing I could do.
"My finger? Can that stop it?" I asked quickly.
"Go", he said.
"I'm not leaving you here", I said firmly.
"You are too s-tub-born" he said.
For the third or fourth time that night, I found tears grazing my cheeks. I was looking into the eyes of the man I loved. His pupils were dilated. He was looking at me but it was as if he couldn't see me.
Death was staring him in the face. I wanted to die there with him. I didn't review my life choices. I didn't think of things he could have done right or my family and friends. I thought of the moment, of him lying next to me. I thought of the love I had for him and things I could have said. I still had time- maybe seconds, maybe minutes.
"I'm only stubborn because I...because I love you", I said.
He didn't react.
"Felix please don't go. Felix please. I love you! I'm sorry", I said and swallowed. "Remember when I said..." I managed to say before I made an impulsive decision.
I put my finger on his chest, covering the hole. Having studied a bit of human anatomy in high school, I immediately knew I hadn't done anything other than make him internally bleed. Blood was still escaping his heart, it just wasn't exiting his body. I forced my finger slightly in. It was easy since the scalpel had penetrated through. I could feel blood and flesh touching my finger. A chill went through my body even though it was hot in the room. I was sweating, everywhere.
I felt my finger touching a rapidly moving structure. I wasn't even certain it was the heart but I hoped it was.
"Remember that time you asked me why I was crying? I was crying because I loved you. I love you. I loved you then. I thought I'd fallen in love with the wrong person, but I know you are the right person", I said. "You thought I was angry at you when the brothers sent you those pictures. I was angry, but not at you. I was angry because I wasn't angry. My life was in danger and I could only think about how much I loved you".
I lay down next to him, making sure my finger didn't move. I could feel the blood trying to push through as the heart continued beating. His heart beating gave me hope. It meant I could talk to him for longer. It was all I could hope for.
"I told you not to call me Pancakes, but you still did. I love you for it. Sometimes I pretend I'm annoyed because it makes you smile. I like seeing you smile", I said.
The tears were now rushing in torrents across my nose and towards my right ear.
"And when you tease me...Gosh, I always feel like how I feel right now; hot", I said. "You make me blush so easily you deserve an award for it". I chuckled humorlessly.
"Feli..." I said and was interrupted by voices coming towards the room.
My heart quickened. What if it was Stefan and Stavros and the others? I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Felix yet. I couldn't. He had to stay alive until I died.