Stockholm Syndrome? - Chapter 32: Chapter 32

My eyes were fixed at the door. It was open but I couldn't see anyone. I turned back to Felix, wondering how I would protect him. If I removed my finger he would bleed to death. How could I protect him without losing him? The truth was, eventually his heart would stop beating. I think I said a little prayer before a man appeared at the door.
"In here!" he shouted behind him and rushed to where Felix and I were.
I was sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I hadn't expected anyone to walk in there. At some point I'd thought everyone was gone. I had been in tortured peace lying in there and watching the man I loved dying.
"Archer, right?" the man asked as he kneeled down.
I moved into a sitting position, something that was very hard without moving my finger off Felix's chest.
I nodded slowly, finally able to see that the man was with the police from his clothing. He was wearing a police jacket. I probably should have been more cautious still, but I was tired.
"I'm special agent Marx, with the DEA", he said showing me his badge. "Felix was working with us and the local police".
My eyes turned to the door just as two men rushed in carrying a stretcher. They were paramedics. They crouched before Felix.
"You can move aside. These guys will help him", Agent Marx said.
"No!" I said quickly. "If I remove my finger he'll bleed again".
"These guys can stabilize him", he assured.
"You don't understand!" I said, my voice rising. "The scalpel went through his heart. He's bleeding from his heart".
The paramedics looked shocked for a bit. They muttered to each other before one put two of his fingers on Felix's neck.
"Pulse is irregular, but good", he said. "He needs to go into the OR right now".
I looked between them.
"Don't move your finger", the other instructed.
I nodded and moved with them as they lifted Felix onto the stretcher. They lifted the stretcher and I made sure to move in unison with them. I could still feel Felix's heart pushing against my finger. When we finally walked out of the room, I took a look behind me. Marx was crouching were Konstantin was, feeling for a pulse. The room wasn't badly burnt. Flames were still licking the walls and ceiling but it wasn't terrible.
We weaved through the passageway and finally got outside. The night air slapped my face, and with that I could finally hear sounds of police and firefighters sirens. It was as if I had been living in some bubble.
I looked at the guy whose heart I was literally touching with my hand. It was ironic. He had my heart in his hands.
I vaguely remember the ride to the hospital. It was short. One of the paramedics kept shouting instructions into the phone, talking about emergency surgery. I zoned out of the words exchanged between the two paramedics, knowing from the worried look on their faces that things weren't looking good.
Felix had been alive for long, which for them was a miracle. That only told me with every second that passed he was cheating death. He could die right there in the ambulance. I couldn't have hope given to me when I'd given up, only to have it taken away. I couldn't survive this time.
When we got to the hospital there was a team of doctors waiting. Everyone sprung into action. Felix was wheeled into the operating room with some doctor supplying oxygen into his lungs. I was suddenly thrown into a room full of things I had never seen in my life.
A nurse covered me with a blue gown, mask and cap.
"I'm Dr. Finch. Today, you'll be assisting us. This is not normal procedure, so I need you to do as I say", a man ordered. He was fully in scrubs.
I nodded stiffly, wondering what my role was.
"We need to put him on bypass for the procedure!" someone shouted. I noticed only then that the room was almost full of people in blue clothes. Felix was hooked to heart monitors and other things.
People hurried to do this or that.
"Okay listen, I need you to tell me the size of the laceration", Dr. Finch said.
"Uh..." I said.
"We can only do this once. If you remove your finger he will bleed. You can only do it once. Now I need you to concentrate and tell me how big the hole below your finger is", he said urgently.
"Um...about the size of half of the tip of my finger. The blood was gushing and..." I said. I couldn't continue. The surgeon didn't seem to care what I wanted to say next.
He had a discussion with some of the doctors before turning to me.
"Ready?"
"I...Um..." I barely could get words out. My finger was the only thing keeping Felix alive at that moment. The doctor all but confirmed it. If I removed it and he bled out I couldn't live with myself.
"It's now or never kid. His oxygenation is at a hundred percent", Dr. Finch said.
I nodded with tears streaming down my eyes.
"On my count", the doctor said and began the count.
I finally removed my finger from Felix's heart and only realized how deep Konstantin had stabbed him now that Felix's chest was open. My finger was covered with blood, but looked nothing like the blood I could see around the area. It was a mess and for a second I wondered if the doctors would be able to suture him in time.
As soon as I removed my finger I was let out of the room. The last word I heard from the room was "suture".
The nurse helped me get out of the clothing she'd given me and led me to some area where someone filled in Felix's details. I could only provide them with name and age. I didn't even know his last name or his next of kin. I felt stupid, but I didn't for a second doubt my love for him. His date of birth meant nothing when I knew the man he was.
The nurse suggested cleaning myself up but I wasn't up for that. I merely rubbed my hands on my clothes. They looked filthy anyway. The blood on my face had dried up.
She noticed the blood on my jean where my leg had been cut by the light bulb piece and wouldn't let that go. She cleaned the cut up and stitched it. I went through a respiratory exam next, the doctor finding nothing wrong with my lungs.
I got back to the waiting room. There was still no word from the operating room. I sat on the cold chairs provided. Minutes passed. I paced and paced till I felt like my legs would break. I couldn't stop. The surgery was taking too long. What if they couldn't stop the bleed? What if there were other complications?
I spotted agent Marx walking towards me. He seemed to have just gotten to the hospital.
"Hey. How is he?" he asked looking concerned.
"I don't know", I said truthfully. "They were...are doing an emergency surgery to close the hole".
"I'm really sorry about what happened", he said.
His words only made me cry. I couldn't go through this alone.
"Can I...can you lend me your phone? I need to make a call", I managed to say.
"Of course", he said and handed me a phone.
I dialed a number I knew off by heart.
"Hello?" came the sound of Stella's voice after I pressed 'call'.
"H-hey, it's Ar-Archer. Are you...are you busy?" I said.
"Oh my God! Archer, finally. I was so worried. Where are you?"
I looked up at the words staring at me. "River-Riverdale hospital. Can you...?"
I couldn't continue, but Stella jumped in. "Hospital?! Are you hurt?"
I shook my head as if she could see me. "No".
"I'm on my way", she said.
I hung up and handed the phone to the agent.
"I don't mean to be insensitive, but when I walked in you were lying on the floor with him while the building was burning. You couldn't have known that help was coming. Did you have any intention of leaving?" he asked tentatively.
I shook my head slowly, biting my lip. He nodded as if understanding why.
He put something in my hand. "Can you do me a favor? When he wakes up, can you give him this? Tell him I'm sorry I was late".
I looked at my hand and my eyes were greeted by an earpod. It was the same one Felix had used to spy on me on my date with Damian. It seemed a long time ago that I'd put it next to my ear and whispered, "hello".
"I will", I said, smiling a little. By not using the word "if", he'd given me hope that Felix would make it.
He patted me on the back. "You've got a great guy". He'd said "you have..." as if Felix was mine, and at that time I wholeheartedly wished he was.
"Yeah, he saved me", I said.
"You are not the only one he saved. He saved the life of an innocent kid too", he said.
I knit my brows. "Uh...the Gonzalez kid? I thought...I read...." I stammered.
"All fake. The boy is alive. It was your boyfriend's idea. The whole thing, including the raid was his idea. He led us to the brothers and as we speak, every lab, storage, transport they own has been raided. Both of them including their right-hand man were killed tonight. He's a hero", he said.
But if anyone hurts you I'm going to hurt them back. I can compromise on not killing them, but that's the only thing I'm willing to do.
I remembered Felix's words clearly. That was his screwed definition of caring. He'd stuck to his words. He wasn't a hero, he was a screwed up creepy guy I loved with my whole heart.
"I better get going", agent Marx said.
I watched him walk away. I collapsed on one of the seats. I always did great with conversation during scary times; I was in danger of falling apart without it. I looked down on my hand, seeing the dried blood on it, Felix's blood. The nightmare wasn't over yet.