Straight Boys - Chapter 26: Chapter 26

"Well... shut up. It's not a date." I was beyond embarrassed at the idea of liking boys, and the fact that I had brought Zachary out to some quaint ice cream shop to get to know him when I don't even try to get to know the girls I inevitably go under the sheets with, was just insane!
I couldn't like boys because for the majority of my life, I had always been interested in girls. I liked girls. I liked the way their skin felt, smooth and almost likened to that of flower petals. I liked their light voices, and the way they sounded so breathless when I kissed their rosy skin. I liked girls and I liked the fact that I had control whenever I was with them. I could steer them because they let me; they let me behind their wheels because it was what I'd always have a chance to agree on. We had agreements in our makeshift relationships because I liked being in control. I liked girls and all they are. Yet, with Zachary, I somehow lost all my self-control. With Zachary, I found myself losing control of my feelings, of my thoughts and even my actions.
It had always been like that.
Even before our newfound friendship, I had always had trouble controlling myself around him. At this point, I was surprised I'd never actually gotten into a fist fight with him.
But I liked girls.
And I was one hundred percent sure he did too. He had a girlfriend for crying out loud! I had never had a girlfriend before, but the many flings I'd harbored counted for something, right?
How could you like boys when you've been surrounded by and believed to have liked girls? It just didn't make sense.
Zachary smirked suddenly, but it didn't quite reach its full height. "It's a date, Andrew. And you can't tell me otherwise. Man - oh man - Taylor is gonna have a meltdown when she finds out you took me out on a date. A date!" I glared at Zachary as he sat across from me, retracting his previous statement to go back to making fun of me!
This was not a time for jokes, and it was no laughing matter inside of my head. I was questioning my entire existence!
"This isn't a date, dipshit!" I seethed, finding it a bit unnerving that I was starting to sound like my old self, a self that was easily annoyed by Zachary. He was reverting me back to... well me.
I angrily bit into the sweet waffle cone in my hand.
Zachary only laughed at me even more.
From across the shop, I could even hear Annie giggling. I side eyed her with a glare, but she ignored me.
What was with those two? I had only wanted to get to know Rogers.
Was that so wrong?
Maybe so if it was causing me this much insanity.
I sighed and took another bite of my melting ice cream cone. The cool cream felt nice going down my heated throat, and as I licked away the melting remnants sliding down the side of the cone, I vaguely saw Zachary's eyes following the movements I made. Specifically following my mouth.
"What are you looking at?" It gave me a sense of deja vu from when I had kept my eyes close to his movements, watching them with a sense of checking him out. Was he checking me out? Oh how the tables seem to have turned.
Zachary cleared his throat, leaning forward to grab a napkin. "You eat like a toddler, Parsley." And then he proceeded to swipe the napkin slower than I would have thought was necessary over my bottom lip. The act sent a vibration throughout my entire body and I couldn't steal my eyes away from his face. He wasn't looking at me, seemingly so concentrated on the bit of ice cream dropping down my chin, but I sure as hell couldn't stop looking at him.
I couldn't blame this on the lack of sleep I've gotten because I was more awake in that moment than I've ever been these past few weeks.
I could barely muster out a whisper, let alone make it sensible and confident sounding. "Wha-What are you... doing?"  The movement of my mouth caused his knuckles to brush against my upper lip. His skin was on fire. Always on fire.
He was setting me on fire.
My question made Zachary freeze, and then his hand was gone faster than I could try to slap it away. He only looked slightly guilty, but then he didn't. It was like he was trying to hide his emotions from me. He was hiding something. Ever since last night, he seemed to be hiding something.
What was he hiding from me
I needed to know, so I thought he'd tell me if I tried actually getting to know him. That would never work, though, because he was back to being normal, Zachary Rogers as he said, "I'm cleaning the little boy's messy face, yes I am," and his voice was twinged with a little teasing and a lisp as if he was talking to a baby. I rolled my eyes.
"Real funny, asshole," although I was annoyed, I don't think I quite masked my emotions quite like he did. I couldn't keep the smile off and the slight chuckle in. That bastard made me feel lighter even when I was angrier than Hell.
How he did it, I didn't know.
"You know," I inhaled slightly, still not used to joking just yet, "I'm more mature than you. I don't wear underwear with hearts on 'em." This earned me a burst of laughter and maybe even a slight blush, although I couldn't really tell.
"How do you even remember that?" He spluttered.
I shrugged. How could I forget it?
As him and I talked for a little while, I couldn't help but still hang onto this idea of liking boys. I knew that if I let go of this thought, I'd be better off. I wouldn't have this panicking feeling keeping my fingers stuck to the rope, aching and stinging from each thought like I was sliding down this very rope. I knew that if I let go, the feelings would stop, but I couldn't let it, which was a curse I have always been stuck with. I couldn't let things go too easily.
Liking guys seemed to be one of those things I just couldn't release my grip on.
Even as we had long since left Fro-cone, and were almost in my family's room at the hospital, I still had these four words in my head.
Do I like Zachary?
Do I like him more than I should? No. I didn't. I couldn't. I shouldn't.
It was impossible!
I was straight. He was straight. We were a couple of straight boys just trying to be friends. Nothing more.
"Andrew!" The light voice that pulled the strings of my lips into a smile called out to me just as Zachary and I entered the hospital room. I rushed forward towards Lola and immediately grasped one of her small hands in between both of my larger ones. "Lola, hey." Her small hand squeezed mine weakly, but I didn't care. She was awake, alert and alive. That counted in my book.
She gave me a sad, toothy grin, but turned towards the door to give Zachary an even brighter smile. "Prince charming!" I looked over my shoulder with a smirk. Lola had always been a flirt even with boys her age, so it was almost a need-be that she liked Zachary. I was kind of jealous because I was supposed to be her favorite boy, yet she likes all the boys it seemed.
"Hi there." Zachary waved at Lola almost awkwardly, maybe more awkward than I've ever seen him. He put his hands behind his back and bowed like he truly was a prince. A self entitled, narcissist of a prince. He then bit his bottom lip on his way back to his straight form and gave the same toothy grin back at her. His features looked soft and warm as he looked at Lola in a way that I couldn't describe. It made something in my chest quake at the way he behaved. It kept my eyes full as I drank him up.
I drew in a shaky breath. "You remember Zachary, don't you? Of course you would." Lola giggled at me and I swear it made me happier than I would ever thought imaginable. I hadn't been happy these past couple of months, but that right there almost turned me 180 degrees into the right direction. It was the direction I had wanted to go in ever since the accident happened. I just didn't know which way to turn or what signs to follow. Obviously, the sign I needed was the one I got from the awakening of my little sister. I needed it so badly because if I hadn't gotten it soon, I didn't think I would make it. I didn't think she would make it. I just didn't think, so maybe that's why my anxiety was starved and needed to feed on literally everything. Now if only my mom would wake up.
No! Stop it! Stop thinking like that!
I couldn't let the thought of my mother get the better of me, even if she was closer than I wanted her to be in that very situation. She was less than ten feet away to be exact, and so I didn't look at her. Lola was supposed to be my main subject. My mother was going to wake up soon, but until then, I had to keep Lola from thinking like I was.
"Of course I like Zachary! He looks like prince charming!" Zachary chuckled at Lola, coming in to sit on the other side of her bed. "Do I now? I feel like prince charming in your presence, princess." Lola gave me a cheeky smile at that comment. I rolled my eyes like I always do, but this time with playful sarcasm.
That's when I noticed it. Something was missing. Well, more like someone. "Where's dad?" I asked aloud. Lola stopped her nonstop chatter with Zachary to give me a half-assed shrug. "I dunno. He left at breakfast to go home, I think." I nodded.
I was kind of glad our dad wasn't here because if he was, he'd probably start this unnecessarily long conversation with Zachary. I did not want that to happen. He would start firing questions even I wouldn't know how to answer, and I would never wish that on old Zachary Rogers, let alone my friend Zachary Rogers.
"Hey, princess," Zachary's suddenly perky voice alarmed me. Oh no. He usually used that voice when he was going to make fun of me. I slit my eyes at him. He was going to drag Lola into his jokes, I could smell it it was so poignantly obvious.
"Hey what?" I looked between the two of them, finding that I much rather would have liked Zachary out of the room in that moment. He was totally corrupting my sister and it had only been ten minutes.
"Do you think your brother would be a good peasant and get us some candy from the vending machine?" Lola gently giggles this time, almost like she's tired. Zachary seems to notice this, so his smile softens even further and his eyes simmer down with their glow of mischief. I keep my eyes on him, but squeeze Lola's hand a little tighter. I had forgotten she was still so severely hurt. It pained me just a little bit because I was so excited that she was awake. The picture of her huge smile and her playful aura made me forget that she had been hit by a car. And just like that, I was frowning and looking down at our intertwined hands.
Lola didn't notice this brief exchange, though. She only told Zachary through huffs of breath, "I want a Butterfinger, Andy!" And turned towards me.
"Oh, child, no candy for you today." The new voice was airy, light with a happy laugh following after it like a lost puppy. I shot my head towards the approaching nurse. She has a smile shining on her face and a very friendly look fondly sitting in her eyes. Her name tag reads Marie, but I could have guessed that from the sudden Marie, Zachary exclaims.
The boy stands up to give the nurse a hug. I was confused slightly, but didn't question it.
"Why can't I have candy?" Lola, pouting, questions the nurse, earning her a chuckle. Marie pats Zachary on his shoulder, whispering something to him before she comes around me to the IV drip I hadn't noticed before, but then I see the needle sticking from Lola's free hand through a styrofoam block taped to her skin. The older nurse fiddles with the clear bag, before proceeding to detach it from Lola. She then moved around more, checking things off a sheet attached to the wall adjacent to Lola's bed. I'm uncomfortable, but I try not to show it. I didn't like hospitals much anymore than I used to, especially the part where nurses tinker with shit that could make or break a loved one.
Although, Lola looked like she wasn't going to break. Well, more than she ready was, but you never know.
And I don't think I was hiding my discomfort well because Marie smiled at Lola, but had her eyes glancing at me every odd second. "You're fasting today so the doctor can take some tests to make sure you're alright." I sighed shakily, but a hand was grabbing my shoulder trying to calm me. I look over and see Zachary letting me know through his brown eyes that it was alright.
It was alright.
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Hello Lovelies! What a crazy week I've had!... not really I've been doing nothing but procrastinating.
But as you can see I've updated this here book! I hope you liked Andrew's thoughts this time around! Although... I feel like I'm not doing too good of a job with Andrew right now, so I'm going to keep working with him. But seriously, what did you think of his POV this time? Let me know please!
Also, I would enter my book into the Wattys2018 but it doesn't meet the parameters I don't think. But hey oh well, I like it and hopefully all of you like it and that's all that matters tbh!
But as always LIKE and COMMENT because yall know I'm desperate.
And any questions?
What are your thoughts about Zachary through Andrew's thoughts?
What do you think about Andrew's inner turmoil about his sexuality this time around? We're getting somewhere aren't we?!?!
How about that part where Zachary seemed to have slipped up with that napkin? ;)
Thank you again and dont worry! I'm not ever going to give up!