Straight Boys - Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Although everything was becoming alright, I still incredulously had no real concept of time any whatsoever. Minutes could turn into hours, hours into days, days into months and months to years, and I still wouldn't know how I had suddenly gotten into my room even though my car keys limply were held in my hands. I wouldn't know how. Because one frozen second in time I'm with Lola, then it melts and I'm planning her party; and now it's a week later and I'm in my room back from school on a Friday afternoon, sitting on my bed, somewhat in a daze, a dreamlike state. 'Time was an illusion,' and somehow I believed those words from Eistein himself.
Because everything was alright, I shouldn't care that I'm still going with the motions, right? But that's just it. Not everything was alright. This may be the pessimist that festered inside of my chest because I lacked the want to talk about what's happened, what's been going on, about what will go on and happen. But I just didn't want to talk about it, yet I knew I should because it's bad to hold things in and oh boy, I was known for holding shit so far down in me that it created a metropolis with skyscrapers of anxiety and cars of anger and sadness that drove on these streets of negative thoughts. These kindling thoughts and feelings were beginning to build, and I should talk about them, yet part of me still couldn't believe what the fuck happened to me.
It was like the upcoming birthday party had the capacity to ruin my soul for forever. It was the thought of spending my little sister's ninth birthday in a hospital that was making me move through waves of blackouts and mindless trotting. Mom wouldn't be there because she was still in her colorless sleep, and that all the more made it so much worse.
Although everything seemed alright, it wasn't because some way, some form or shape, I was suddenly remembering everything I've done in my past seventeen years.
All the models of rocket ships I've made, and putting up the glow in the dark stars because I was and still admittedly am obsessed with outer space.
The football career I'd never pursue because I hated feeling like shit after every practice and being the leader I was never really meant to be.
The interest in Psychology and Sociology that only seemed to be a back up career because I was too chicken to go for what I really wanted.
The many girls I've casually slept with since freshman year, mainly the girl I lost my virginity to, the girls I've taken their viginities from and the girls that just didn't give a fuck about me. I remember them, all of them and I can still count them on both hands. I could still figure out their faces, their voices, the feel of their skin against my skin, and then I remembered. I remembered how they were all I was looking for, yet not enough. There was something missing.
And that's where I stopped my trek down memory lane.
That's where the face of all my hatred and happiness appeared. Zachary Rogers.
When I was still with Lola last Saturday, Zachary was there too. He'd been with me for the whole God damn day. It was when the Nurse, Marie, and a guy nurse I faintly remembered kicked us out for Lola's tests that I finally had the chance to get to know him like planned. This was right before Lunch now.
I got to know him, as we sat in the plastic chairs outside of Lola's room, playing the stupid game of twenty questions. I knew him a lot more after that. I knew a lot.
He liked all kinds of food, no discrimination, which was why he loved to cook.
He actually had a place in his heart for early 2000s pop singers, most of which included girl groups and singers. His favorite all time band, however, would always be the Artic Monkeys.
He hated thick headed people with shallow chests, people like Corbett Connors.
His mom's name was Lauren Rogers.
He used to go to a camp in middle school, but stopped when he moved here. He said it was because kids there were even bigger dicks than he was.
I knew a lot, and more.
Of course, during the whole game that Prick kept joking about me wanting to jump his bones, and I wanted to scream because the city in my chest had built another skyscraper.
I ignored it, though, like I tried ignoring his snarky comments because we'd be back with Lola any minute.
We never went back, though. The tests lasted till visiting hours officially were closed.
So I took Zachary home, and then the rest was a blur, till I found myself at Zachary's door again, but this time on a Tuesday afternoon. Football practice was cancelled because the whole week was scheduled to have a heavy storm that would probably cancel the next football game against the Buchanan High Beetles. So I knew he was free, but that was about all I knew.
What I was doing?
What he was doing?
I had no clue on.
I just wound up in front of his classy looking door, waiting for him to answer my three precise knocks.
He did, shirtless, and he was covered in sweat. I think I had visibly done a funny 90s sitcom double take.
Unlike the time so long ago in the locker room where he was glistening with a sheen of water giving him a clean look, this time, at his house, the sweat that emanated from Zachary's skin made him shine with almost a salacious afterglow. I was checking him again. Without an excuse. Again.
He had braces around his wrists and his ruffled hair was held back by a band. He'd been working out, that was obvious.
"Hey."
It was a chore to keep my eyes leveled with his, and that was confusing. He was confusing.
Also very simple.
But very confusing.
"Uh hey." Oh god, my voice had sounded so croaky, it drove me insane.
"What're you doing here?" Zachary had asked, and I finally noticed that he hadn't really started joking with me yet. I was concerned for half a second, but realized that it shouldn't matter to me whether he joked or not.
I cleared my throat at the same time he decided to lean against the door frame. His biceps bulged with the movement, but like I do best, I ignored it. "Well, you see... uh well, I... need you." I stared into his eyes hesitantly, just long enough to see his pupils dilate the tiniest bit. I spoke up before he could actually start joking about what I didn't mean. "Not in a weird way or anything. I just need you to help me plan a party for Lola." It sounded rushed, but so was my heartbeat.
He rose a dark brow in sync with a corner of his mouth.
"Please help." I started to beg. "I'm bad at this and before all this... crazy shit went down, my mom helped." I was basically useless at planning parties. My mom and I always did it together while my dad kept Lola busy so that we had enough time.
My mom wasn't here to help me.
The only person I could think of was Zachary. Pathetic, wasn't it?
"You want me," The still shirtless boy spoke before he pointed at himself, then at me, "to help you plan a little girl's birthday party?" I slowly nodded.
He shook his head, but then both corners to his mouth rose up to form this perfect little smile.
He still hadn't made a joke, though, and at this point I couldn't hold the worry clawing its way around my intestines.
Without thinking much anymore, I held my hand out and dropped it against his upper arm, his free bicep. His skin wasn't hot, like it always was, but rather cool and moist from his sweat mingling with the autumn air. This made not only me tense up, but him as well. Weird.
He was acting weird. Ever since last week, he had been acting weird. What the fuck was it? I had gotten to know him better at the time, yet I didn't get to know what the Hell was making him act so weird around me.
Shouldn't I be the one acting weird around him? Hell, I was questioning my sexuality when it came to him!
Shoveling deep within me, deeper than the pessimist I abandoned, further than the city, probably past my subconscious, I managed to ask him what was wrong.
"Hum, heh, I don't kn - I don't really want to talk about?" He did because if he didn't, he wouldn't question himself through a jumble of words. But I let it go because I saw myself in him, like he did me all those times before. I finally could be the one trying to help him, and I felt abruptly good about myself.
Nodding, I dropped my hand, letting it swing to my side without a care even though I knew I cared. I cared more than I probably should have for Zachary.
I took a breath, then said, "Okay. You don't have to tell me. But you'll still help me, right?" He looked at me for a while, a while too long that I was shifting my weight from foot to foot and twisting my fingers between each other that it felt like I was making a basket with them. Then, he shrugged. "Sure. But!"
I straightened up.
"I'm inviting an actual girl to help us, since, you know, this is a little girl's birthday party." I knitted my brows together about to question him until I again became aware of the fact that Zachary had a girlfriend. Taylor. He was inviting Taylor.
I would have protested, but he had a point. And I didn't want to look like I hated Taylor - and I will probably forever hate her - because that would most likely drive him away. I didn't want that. So, as he dug into the bottomless pockets of his basketball shorts, I kept my mouth shut. I only snagged the opportunity to fully catch a glimpse of his entire form. He wasn't looking, and I was fully aware of that.
His body was like a canvas painted with the many colors and hues of his skin tones, of his angles and points. The outline of his abs beneath his relaxed abdomen were visible as he texted and I felt self conscious thinking about my skinny stomach and the muscle loss from suddenly stopping this regimen I had to keep steady for a quarterback's body type.
I swept my eyes up and away to his face just as he was bringing his phone up to his ear, slightly turning away from me to talk to his girlfriend. That's when I saw it.
He hadn't been sleeping much. That was surely a difference I almost missed. His eyes weren't supporting the heavy, dark undertones just above his cheeks like mine most definitely were, but they still looked tired. Almost droopy.
At this point, I finally decided to tune into the conversation he was having with Taylor. ". . . Yeah, it'll be me and Andy - Andrew. Drew. Yeah... girly things that you probably used to play with... oh yeah? I'll be your new toy. You can play with me all you want, you little devil you... oh really?" I was becoming fed up with their little conversation going sideways. I loudly coughed, catching Zachary's attention. He looked over at me, and I sarcastically smiled back at him.
"Okay... alright yeah. See you in a few... yeah love you, too. Bye." Now he was back.
"So she's coming?"
"Yeah. Let me just clean up and I'll be out in a few."
I waited obediently, and then we were off in the van. The first stop was Taylor's house, directions courtesy of Zachary, and then to some ragtag party store.
Whoopee.
We weren't in there for long. Taylor did most of the shopping, picking out a party set with Anna and Elsa from Frozen covering the decor. I had told her what all Lola liked, so this was what she came up with. It wasn't pink. It wasn't flashy, but it was good enough.
However, besides the shopping part, I couldn't stand the trip. Zachary was almost avoiding me, only keeping to Taylor. They whispered secret words to each other while I stayed far off, being me to a T. Ignoring the shit out of those lovesick birds.
Maybe something had happened to Zachary in the four days we hadn't been together. Maybe he was actually getting tired of me, or never stood by me in the first place. I couldn't really understand his motives behind keeping to himself all of the a sudden, nor should I really have tried. Maybe he just had something on his mind.
Because, although doubts seeded themselves into my mind, I still caught his eye. He still would glance at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention, or he would shuffle just a little closer to me when Taylor walked off by herself. Yet he was walking on eggshells around me, and I had no fucking idea why.
So the trip sucked ass crack.
It made me relapse, and I was somehow walking into my house just as my dad was leaving. "Hey, Andrew. I'm going to visit Lola at the hospital. Do your homework and then you can come, alright?" I nodded weakly. I didn't have much homework anyway.
And as the time cranked its working gears over and over with the intervals of 60 seconds, 60 minutes, 24 hours, it was Wednesday afternoon. I was walking to my car just as the bell ended my school day. My car was always parked by the field, so I had to walk a little ways. I took my time to study the school around me. Mandy Grace was sexing up some poor Junior. Mitchell from the team was laughing loudly with a group of other football players. Among the group was Ashton and Rodriguez, and their matching smirks were hard to look at. At the other end of the lot, I could see Corbett Connors fooling another flimsy group of girls with his faux charm laced smile. It made me so disgusted that I couldn't make myself look away.
That's when I had accidentally collided with a person. A box fell from their hands and a gravelly curse filled my ears as the smell of smoke took up my nose. I dragged my head down to catch of glimpse of graying tendrils frizzy from the humid chill. I had run into Mrs. Hughes.
Bending down, I helped the aging woman pick up the contents of the box she had dropped because of me. I tried not to pay any mind to the different tests that were neatly nestled as I shoved them not so neatly back into their places.
"Gosh darn it, thanks kiddo - oh. Mr. Parsley. It's you." Mrs. Hughes seemed shocked that it was me, and I didn't blame her. I had kind of been avoiding people for a while, especially people from the office. Really, I've just been avoiding. That's it. I didn't want to raise anymore Hell than I could raise, and now that one of the two victims were awake, I was trying to manage that. But that also meant that I wouldn't know how to manage my time anymore, if the frequent blocks in memory were any indication.
"Afternoon, Mrs. Hughes." By now, we both were fully standing, except this time I was carrying the heavy box that looked to be half the receptionist's height and weight. She gratefully smiled with her yellowing teeth, and the early wrinkles lining her eyes crinkled. She wasn't that old, being somewhere in her mid-forties, but all the smoking she'd been doing gave her this sixty year old cover.
"Thank you, Mr. Parsley. Just bring her to my desk." At that I was back towards the school with Mrs. Hughes hobbling beside me.
We were silent. It wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't awkward either. That's how I always got around teachers, so I didn't mind it much. We stayed in that little silence all the way back to the office, until Mrs. Hughes broke it to thank me.
"It was no problem, ma'am." She smiled again. "Oh but it probably was, my dear." I shook my head, containing the smile that wanted to peek through my lips.
"I'm going then. See you tomorrow." I was turning around to walk out of the office, but the older lady had stopped me. "Wait!" I rewound my movements to give her a questioning eye.
"If you want..." Mrs. Hughes folded her arms over themselves tentatively, hesitantly going on, "you can talk to me. Or one of the counselors about the... you know, accident?" I ground my teeth together. It made my skin stretch around my jaw from the flexing.
I knew she was only trying to help. I hadn't talked to anyone about the accident. Nobody but Zachary at least. I hadn't talked to Mr. Johannes, or Mr. Craig, not even my dad actually. Talking was too painful to be honest, and I never had the energy to go to any adult about these problems. I guess I had always been that way.
"No thanks, Mrs. Hughes. I'm fine. Really." I made my voice confident with each word I spoke, yet the deadpan the old lady had given me could have killed even Zues himself.
"Bullshit." I cringed at the curse word. She had never seemed like the swearing type, what with being so cheery when she announced crap on the intercom. Her voice was always light, but not now. Now she seemed like a rough and tough biker lady. "There's a scale for how we feel. Great, good, okay, bad and then fine. Fine is never fine. It means you're all tired out and you don't know what to do anymore. It means you're far worse than what you want people to think you are, but I see it, Andrew. I see your pain."
I didn't know I had teared up until she had softly spoken her last sentence with an oxymoron of gentle intensity. I hated to cry, so I did the only thing I could do. I got the hell out of dodge, speed walking as fast as I could handle. And that's when I let time whisk me away in its arms and carried me to Friday
I gripped the keys in my hand tighter, went to my closet and got the neatly wrapped box from its hiding spot. I didn't have to hide it, but it was habit.
Securing the box in between my arm and side, I made my way back to my car. It was drizzling outside, and the overcast clouds flew overhead with gloom trailing them. The rain didnt bother me as I kept up close to my care and got in. I carefully set the present in the passenger seat and backed out of the driveway to go to the hospital.
Although, I soon realized I was taking a short detour on the journey to that cadaver handling joint.
Lola seemed to really like Zachary even from the short time during their two encounters. He surely felt the same. If he didn't, then he was really good at hiding his distaste. Besides, he wouldn't have helped me if he didn't like my sister. And he knew that if he didn't like Lola then I would have to use my fists for talking around him. That thought brought a funny little smile to face right as I was pulling up to the said boy's house. I hopped out of the minivan with an odd pep in my step, and the smile lighted my face up the whole way. It was my sister's birthday. She was awake. How could I not be happy? I would be celebrating it with her and dad and now a new friend. With Zachary.
My chest fluttered uncomfortably, almost in time with my knocks against the front door to his house. I forced my smile to lessen to not look so weird and to tell myself that I wasn't smiling like a crazed murderer because of him. It fully dropped, though, when a head of strawberry locks opened the door instead of the much rather preferred head of dark waves.
And then I finally noticed the sleek, red Mustang parked in the street. Her car.
". . . 5 - 6 - 7... How much do we owe you..." Taylor's voice trailed off when she looked up from the wad of cash in her hands. Her face slackened with surprise, and I'm sure mine mirrored hers.
She was practically naked. The only pieces of clothing that covered her body was a torn - almost completely in two down the front - T-shirt that didn't cover the pink lace of her bra, and white panties. I looked away embarrassed.
Who the fuck answers the door dressed like that? What a fucked up -
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm no pizza man." I forced myself to speak up, just a little loud so the girl in front of me could hear me over the downpour of the rain, which seemed to be getting heavier. They were right. There was a storm on Friday, one that didnt look to be letting up any time soon.
Exactly like my mood.
Taylor awkwardly laughed, propping her hands not so subtly up against herself to cover some skin, as if that would help. It only made her breasts push together to create a rack of perkiness I did not want to see. A blush colored her cheeks as she said, "What are you doing here?" I cleared my throat.
"I came to ask Zachary a question." Oh God, I sounded like I was some quivering sub being taught a lesson after disobeying their dom. I was disgusted with the lack of confidence in my voice and I didn't understand where it was coming from; or rather, where my confidence had gone. I was definitely a mess after everything that had happened.
Taylor pursed her lips. She pondered something for a second before finally asking me, "I can ask him for you, if you'd like? He's kind of... busy right now." Her eyes held a story of what they could possible have been doing, but I didn't want to know. I've seen too much PDA from them as is. I don't think I could stomach shit that goes on behind closed doors. But, I didn't want to tell her about Lola's birthday party in fear that she would want to come with her boyfriend. I barely knew her and hated her, probably more in that moment than I ever would.
"Can't he come to the door just for a second? It's important." It really wasn't that important. I probably should have just left the minute she opened the door, or not have come in the first place. Of course he would be with her. They were a couple and it was a Friday night. No football game, so alone time.
Taylor was about to say something when Zachary's voice cut her off. "What the heck is taking you so lon - Andrew." My eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets when I caught sight of Zachary. He was wearing what looked like Calvin Klein underwear and that was it.
Oh they were perfect for each other.
"What are you doing here?" I looked away from the two half naked teenagers in front of me, but it didnt stop the heat that shot its way to my cheeks.
Oh fuck. "I wanted to see if you could come with me to... or just not... Do you want to go to Lola's birthday party tonight?" Why did I have to be so nervous around him now? I was acting like I had a crush on him.
Wait. I did.
Pathetic.
"Err..."
"Zach and I were having date night. I'm sorry, Drew, but he can't go. He promised," Taylor glanced at Zachary with a hardness behind her eyes, "that we would have a date night tonight. I'm sorry, again." I looked at Zachary for a reaction, but I didn't get the chance to before the door was shut.
I felt like I was being shut out. Zachary seemed like he was shutting me out.
I hung my head in defeat, just standing on Zachary's porch for a while to try and collect my thoughts. The rain still raged on behind me, mimicking my mood. Again, maybe he wasn't shutting me out. Maybe he was going through something. Maybe he just wanted to spend quality time with his girlfriend. Who was I to come first in their relationship? Zachary and I were new friends. I could hardly force my way to the top of his list.
Nodding at the excuse I came up for myself so that I wouldn't wallow in my self pity, I lifted my head and sighed. It was whatever. Zachary shouldn't have to be with me 24/7. He had a life outside of me. I was just lucky to be his friend. I didn't want to ruin that with my crappy needs.
If this was before every happened, I wouldn't be this way. I would be stronger. But I guess, when you've been torn down by unfortunate events, you change. Some people get rough around the edges, they froze their hearts and tried to be cold. Others softened up their exterior, and they warmed with trying to heal themselves. I guess I was the latter as I let Zachary tear down my mountainous edges and heal me slowly with each time we spent together.
I was becoming soft because of him, and I didnt know whether to like this new me or hate it. I hated change.
◇
So I've noticed, from going back to previous chapters, that Andrew likes to ignore shit. It's a very bad flaw in my opinion just because you cant ignore some things.
Oh well, I birthed him from the loins of my brain. Can't really blame him lmao.
Anyway, heyyyyyyy. Still not edited.
...sigh. I write on my phone. You can't blame me... or you can no biggie ;)
This was a long chapter. Close to 4000 words... ew. That's too many things I couldn't keep to myself.
But as some of you naughty lovelies know, I've been dropping subtle hints into Zach's background. Tell me what you think the hint was and what it means??
Anyway. That's why it took me so long to update... the chapter was longer than Corbett's dickish personality. ;)
Also probably kind of extra but only for you guys.
But as you know, VOTE and COMMENT!
And as for the questions,
What do you think was up with Zach on Tuesday when they went shopping? Even after that on Friday?
Do you think about Andrew's softness for Zachary and his excuses for him?
Are you guys stoked for what's to come?? I am hahahaha.
And please tell me if you want more Mrs. Hughes action in the future, and how you liked her part in this chapter.
Thanks. And I'm signing off. See you guys sometime in the future.
Wait! I almost forgot.
Theres a surprised waiting for you guys when I finish the story ;))))
Idk if you'll like it but I'm hyped up like a mother fuckkkkaaaaa!!!