Straight Boys - Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Zachary's POV
Oh God.
What have I gotten myself into?
What have I done?
I can't do this.
Andrew Parsley was seriously going to be the death of me. Who knew he could even, in a million years, make me want to be with him.
I had a girlfriend.
I was in love with said girlfriend.
She made me want to be with girls.
But he made me want to be with who I really wanted to be with: boys.
I pumped the two twenty pound weights on each side of the forty-five pound bar I was benching a little harder, a little faster. My muscles ached, my breathing all over the place, but I didn't care. I was thinking too much. I was thinking too much about things I shouldn't have been thinking about anymore.
You see, I've been down this road before. I have had these reoccurring nightmares running around my head with nothing to stop them before. Nobody was there to tell me otherwise, and these thoughts made me open my eyes and accept myself, not for forever, but the little month I was at that God forsaken camp. He made me accept myself until he took that acceptance and tossed it into a trashcan.
When the bar seemed to be a hundred pounds heavier, I dropped it against the rack and sat up. I balled my hands into tight fists and tried rubbing the memories out of my eyes. It was no use, though. I couldn't stop thinking about him.
Always him! I thought I had forgotten about him a long time ago.
The only thing that instantly made me lose those memories was the knock against my front door. Shaking my head to maybe dry it of the sweat - it didn't work - I fixed my headband before going to answer the front door. Who was on the other side, I wasn't expecting.
Andrew.
"Hey." I was trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, while I internally started flipping myself off from the sound of his voice. "Uh hey." This was a common thing for me. I would see him, maybe in the halls or walking to his car, and my insides would just go crazy. That was just from seeing him. The sound of his voice was doing crazy things to me. And even with Taylor, I would get the butterflies, which wasn't morally right as I was her boyfriend and I was going all school-girl-crush on another person. But ever since Saturday, I had done some thinking. The past few days had given me the time to do the thinking, and I had an idea.
I needed to lay low in Andrew's life for a while. It would do us both good, I guessed. He was most definitely straight and I had a loving girlfriend. I know I had said that I didn't want things to go back to the way they were, but now I was having second thoughts.
I didn't want to lose Andrew, but I also didn't want to lose the life I had created for myself.
So, as I stared at the boy before me wearing a yellow hoodie, I commenced my plan to maybe sort of devolve my feelings for him. It was what was best for me. It was the only way I wouldn't be hurt for a second time. "What're you doing here?" Which meant I had to keep an aura of seriousness around him now. My jokes obviously only led to bad things, so none would leave my mouth.
He cleared his throat as I leaned against the door frame trying to act cool and like I wasn't bothered by the way he was red in the face - from embarrassment or the chilling air, I didn't want to know. "Well, you see... uh well, I... need you." He fumbled over his words, and I dont think he knew exactly what he was saying and what it was doing to me. I as quietly as possible inhaled a cool breath of air to try and sedate my racing blood. I could already feel my skin prickling from the words he spoke. I needed to calm down.
Andrew spoke up through a wave of his awkwardness to explain himself, even though I knew deep, deep down that he could never need me in the way I wanted him to need me. "Not in a weird way or anything. I just need you to help me plan a party for Lola." I paused, then made a face at him.
He didn't seem to understand what I was trying to telepathically tell him through my facial features. It was hilarious, and it made me want to joke with him even though I shouldn't have.
"Please help. I'm bad at this and before all this... crazy shit went down, my mom helped." My face relaxed a little at his plea.
The person he came to to help him was me? My arms begged me to let them encase him in a hug, but I didn't let them.
I only acted with an indifference as I pointed to myself "You want me," then at Andrew, "to help you plan a little girl's birthday party?" In a sense it was funny because I was no expert on girls in the third grade.
I shook my head at the thought, and then both corners of my mouth raised up to form a secretive smile I held together with my private thoughts. I was going to let him in on this secret of mine - that I was no eight year old girl - but was caught off guard by the sudden sensation of warmth against my arm.
I tensed up from the soft and gentle warmth encasing my arm. It was a feeling very different from what I was used to; it was more masculine, more prominent and very familiar, yet so different from His touch.
The memories I was trying to forget came back like they never left - because they hadn't - and I could feel him staring at me like he knew what I was thinking.
"Are you okay?"
"Hum, heh, I don't kn - I don't really want to talk about it?" I couldn't tell him how I really felt. I just couldn't because it would ruin everything. He would never want to be friends with a boy that liked him. Taylor would be devastated if she knew how I felt. We had built so much between us. I would be reliving middle school all over again. I've done this before and I know how it ends. It ends the same every single time. I wanted to tell him that I was scared and that I didn't want to ruin this real feeling that has developed around all these halfhearted scenarios. But I couldn't because it would end just like that.
Andrew nodded and dropped his scorching hand, letting it swing to his side carelessly. I silently thanked him for not pulling a me and forcing his way into my life.
He nodded again, more to himself this time and said, "Okay. You don't have to tell me. But you'll still help me, right?" I stared at him for a minute, momentarily losing myself in the contours of his face, the cupids bow at the top of his lips and the blues of his eyes, until I noticed my stupidity and agreed. "Sure. But!" Of course I needed to do something about this little shopping spree we were about to have together. We couldn't be alone, one thing, and I needed an anchor to support me so I wouldn't weave my way into Andrew's life anymore than I already was.
Andrew visibly straightened up at my loud burst.
"I'm inviting an actual girl to help us, since, you know, this is a little girl's birthday party." He stuck his brows together in a look of confusion and I almost laughed, until he realized that I was going to ask Taylor to help us. His face fell - how any more obvious can he get? - and he nodded for the thousandth time that afternoon. I gave him a look which I'm sure screamed 'You aren't fooling anyone, Parsley.' I knew that he didn't like Taylor very much. I've always known. But I didn't tell him that as I took my phone out and dialed Taylor's number.
I had to push down the urge to yawn as I waited for my red head to pick up. My fast paced work out and the four days of constant tossing and turning in bed from too much thinking was weighing down on me. Luckily, the autumn air was cool enough and the approaching storm was ominous enough to keep me awake. Not to mention I could almost taste the stare of Andrew Parsley in front me. It made me turn away with how intense it was.
"Hello?"
"Hey, gorgeous." I subconsciously smiled at the girly giggle on the other end of the line. "Are you busy?"
"Surprisingly no. Since practices are cancelled this week, I've had enough time to catch up on Riverdale. Honestly, Zach, you would like Juggie. You both are super hot." I laughed at Taylor and her slight obsession with some TV series.
"Well, would you be up for going to the mall?"
"Ooh, does my boyfriend really want to go shopping with his amazing girlfriend?" I smirked at her sarcastic tone.
"Of course. Although, I just need your help with something." I paused. "I need you to help me pick our birthday party supplies for an eight year old girl."
"Huh?" I laughed, glancing at Andrew to see him staring off into space, his eyes glossy and glazed over.
"It's for Andrew's little sister. Her birthday is coming up and he needs help with decorations."
"You want me to help you get birthday decorations? Who else is going? Just you and Drew?"
I nodded, but then remembered she couldn't see me. "Yeah, it'll be me and Andy - Andrew. Drew. Yeah" His name is Andrew, Zach, Andrew. Nobody calls him Andy but Annie... and me of course. I just couldn't let that little fact slip up to Taylor. I could feel her confusion through the phone at my slip up in nicknames. Andy was too personal of a nickname to use in front of Taylor. Knowing her, she would get the wrong idea.
She was quiet on the other end, probably processing my words, before her cheery voice rang through, "Okay. What does he want to get for her?"
"Girly things that you probably used to play with." My lips formed back into a joking smirk.
"Who says I stopped playing with toys?"
"Oh yeah? I'll be your new toy. You can play with me all you want, you little devil you." At this point, our playful banter was going down a road so familiar. It was habit to start using dirty jokes around Taylor, but it was a habit that was starting to get uncomfortable with me. I did it then to not seem too out of place. It just didn't feel right to be saying such things in front of Andrew.
There just wasn't any real emotions behind it anymore. That was a sad case to open.
"We both know you're the devil in this relationship, Zachary."
"Oh really?" Out of nowhere, Andrew loudly coughed, catching my attention. I looked over at him again to see him giving me a smile that told me it was time to hang up.
"Okay."
"'Kay, I'll come. Just text me when you're at my house."
"Alright yeah. See you in a few."
"Mhmm. I love you."
I clenched my hand around my phone tighter than normal. "Yeah love you, too. Bye." I squeezed my eyes shut, heaving in to try and alleviate the aching pain in my chest.
"So she's coming?" I popped open my eyes to peer over at Andrew.
"Yeah. Let me just clean up and I'll be out in a few." I left Andrew on my porch to change into some more appropriate clothes for the weather; and to maybe have some much needed space to think. I needed to come up with ways to avoid Andrew without seeming to do so. I was probably going to royally mess this up, but I didn't really have any other ideas. My feelings were getting too strong and I needed to change them. I wanted to be Andrew's friend, that's it. I couldn't be anything more because he probably didn't want to be anything more than friends. He was definitely straight after all. I just needed to pretend that we were bros and that was it.
I was pretty good at it before I met him, so this wasn't any different.
After picking Taylor up, we went to a party store at the mall. We weren't in there for long. Taylor did most of the shopping, picking out a party set with Anna and Elsa from Frozen covering the decor. Andrew had told her basically Lola's interests and she worked her magic.
The whole trip I worked my way through my plan to try and lessen my feelings for Andrew. I would keep a fair distance, staying close to Taylor. She didn't seem to mind this one bit, but I could tell Andrew was hating it. Hell, I was hating it. A very strong part of me wanted to run back to the boy, drop my arm against his shoulders and tell him all the stupid jokes in the world to get him to laugh. But an even stronger side of me held me back by the reigns of my emotions.
It was the thought of repeating history all over again that held me back. It was the stacks upon stacks of DVDs of memories waiting to be slid into the VCR of my brain to be played that made me stay back. I didn't want that. I didn't want to live through that again. I'd been hurt enough, that I didn't want to hurt again. I was finally happy where I was, and some flimsy crush - it seems like more than a crush at this point - wasn't going to take that away from me.
"Hey so, this Friday," I jumped at the sound of Taylor's voice, taking my shifting eyes away from Andrew's far off form sifting through streamers and birthday hats. We were at the check out line. I told Andrew that I would pay, as a gift to Lola. He at first refused, but then I pushed him into an aisle just as a group of little boys came running into the store, followed by two women. He was trapped and I had succeeded. He didn't even try to fight back after that.
"What about Friday?"
"Since the game is cancelled, do you want to have date night? We haven't had one since... my parent's dinner quite a while ago." I licked my lips and leaned down to place a kiss on Taylor's cheek. "Of course. We can play Stranded like we used to. I promise." Taylor's whole face brightened up at my suggestion, and it made me genuinely smile for the first time since Saturday.
When Tuesday ended, it was like the week had had enough of the terrible weather because Wednesday and Thursday went by in the blink of an eye. By the time Friday was here, the ever present storm clouds had darkened and thickened, to the point where there were spotting showers during the whole day. Mother nature knew how I was feeling. That's what it felt like, at least. Starting to ignore Andrew was easy right now, but I knew it would get harder. He would eventually notice my lack of presence, and I was sure he would start to question it.
But right now, I needed to re-establish my relationship with Taylor, to make myself feel better. Besides, her and I hadn't been hanging out too much since I befriended Andrew, and this date night was sort of a sorry for abandoning her at Homecoming.
"Captian, the pillows! Permission to take your shirt off, sir?" Taylor failed miserably at pretending to be a pirate, but in a cute way. Her hand was up in a salute, as I worked to pile the pillows that had fallen down around us back up.
"Permission granted, sergeant!" I lifted my arms up for her to pull off my thin shirt.
You see, Stranded was a type of roleplaying game Taylor had invented when we had first gotten together. I was open to anything, especially to stupid games that made my new girlfriend happy.
The object of the game was to get the other person to strip down to their underwear so they felt stranded out in the open. Everytime we played, we would pretend to be in a different scene - outer space, in the sewers, out at sea as pirates. Everytime you messed something up after completing some weird task, like carrying armfuls of snacks without dropping them, you had to strip.
I was losing at the moment, being only in a pair of underwear and my socks, while Taylor wore her ghastly T-shirt that was torn in the front and worn at the seems. She loved this game so much, but I sometimes wondered if it was only a ploy to get me to get naked in front of her; that she used this game as an excuse to have sex with me. She's only ever succeeded once at getting me into bed with this god awful game, but that was it.
As Taylor threw my shirt to one side of the living room, a knocking sound interrupted the soft music playing in the background. "Oh! The pizza!" Then she was up so fast like a strike of lightning, running to the door to pay for the pizza we had ordered.
I chuckled to myself in the empty room, rubbing my knees as I waited patiently.
But when she didn't come back as quickly as she should have, I started to get suspicious. Getting up, I made my way to the front door to see what was up.
"What the heck is taking you so lon - " My feet stopped in their steps, and my mind suddenly went more blank than a painter's new canvas. "Andrew." My eyes examined the lanky boy at my front door for the second time in less than a week. His hair was shaggy and dripping from the downpour raging behind him. His clothes were wet, too, some spots sticking to his skin tightly.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him, hating how I sounded so indifferent when I wanted to show him what I was really thinking. I wanted to dry him up in my arms and make that blush lining his cheeks deepen and spread.
Oh god, what was I thinking?
"I wanted to see if you could come with me to..." He stumbled over his words with second thoughts, "or just not... Do you want to go to Lola's birthday party tonight?"
"Err..." I seemed to have lost my voice at his invite. I knew how hard it was for him to do this because I knew he had seemingly never done this before, and it made me feel honored. But the other part of me...
"Zach and I were having date night. I'm sorry, Drew, but he can't go. He promised that we would have a date night tonight. I'm sorry, again." I sighed, about to explain to him and apologize, but Taylor pushed me back towards the living room before I could even say anything remotely close to words. The only thing she seemed to have left Andrew with was the sound of my front door slamming in his face.
I frowned down at her. "You could have at least let me tell him no, Taylor."
She gave me a sideways glance, half jokingly telling me, "You can't tell him no, Zach. You know you can't. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in love with him." I looked away because I never knew Taylor was so intuitive. "What? No. Never. I'm in love with you." I peered back over at her to see her smiling a full set of teeth at me.
Maybe not intuitive enough to know exactly how much she was right.
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Oooh that took a while. Sorry guys :') chapter title courtesy of Trivial_Universe ♡
But hello again! I've got another chapter for you on another day and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did... I mean its Zachary Rogers. Who could hate him?
...A lot of people hahahahahaha but I'm not one of them because I know his back story >:)))
Anywho... are you guys finding anymore hints about his backstory? I bet you guys are dying to know.
All in due time... all in due time, lovelies.
But, LIKE and COMMENT because you know what happens when you do... makes me all tingly ;)
And questions?
How did you like Zachary's side of the story?
What do you think Zachary is going to do next week leading up to the party?
Explain to me what you think Zachary meant by "She made me want to be with girls."?
And thoughts on Taylor and what you think she is thinking during these parts?
That's all really. Ooh btw, check out As The Crow Flies by Simply_Hiraeth it's really well written and a boyxboy so I know yall will like it! It's really different and original so check it out! Well I like it at least :)
Now I leave you with a gif of Cole
Farewell~