Straight Boys - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

"Remember. I'm going to Michigan in a few days. So, you know, no house parties or anything." My dad popped his head into the living room just as I turned the TV on to another cooking show.
"Why are you even going to Michigan again?" I looked up at my dad from my cross legged position on the couch. He gave me a cross eyed look before replying with, "I'm visiting your mom's family, kid. How many times do I have to tell you?" I nodded, curling an 'Oh' through my lips.
"But you haven't visited them in years?" I was kind of confused to be honest. My grandparents on my mom's side lived up in Michigan, along with basically my mom's whole entire family. That's where I used to live, too. When we had moved here a few years ago, I hadn't seen that side of my family often. Only when my mom got cancer not even a year later, did I finally see them on a daily basis like before. She died later, however and they kind of stopped visiting and vice versa. We would be going just about three years since my dad and I have even seen them in a few months now.
"Your aunt Jean - your mom's sister - is finally getting married to Hank this Friday and I'm in the wedding!" I nodded, turning my attention back to the TV just as another participant on Chopped introduced themselves, with a thoughtful expression on my face. "Wasn't Hank the one that... used to drop kick me when I got old enough?"
"No that's Darren. Your cousin Kristy's boyfriend. He's actually up at the state university if you wanna visit him sometime."
"Ha, no thanks." I sarcastically smiled.
"But anyway, Hank was the one that bought you that easy bake oven as a gag gift one Chistmas."
"Ooh, that guy! Yeah, Hank's a good guy."
My dad and I then went on to talk about more house rules and all that good stuff before he had to go pack for his trip. He was leaving Thursday. It was Sunday night. I didn't do anything special this night, except watch more cooking shows and try not to fall into the holes of thoughts hiding around the corners of my brain. It was surprisingly easy considering I was staring down a bottle of Brandy my dad kept for house parties with his friends from work.
So to say Monday morning was my own personal hell on Earth would be an understatement.
I'd like to reiterate: I hate thinking about things I shouldn't.
I drove my dad's car slower than a snail's pace to school and had trouble dragging my body towards the group of people that always crowded a set of benches at the front. I didn't get blackout drunk because I remember emptying the bottle - maybe it was the second one maybe it wasn't - and I also remember tripping my way down the hall to my room and falling face first onto my bed - or at least it felt like my bed. I woke up sprawled out on my carpeted floor. That meant that when morning came, I had instantly regretted trying to keep my thoughts in check with a bottle of booze. I was reversing all the hard work I had done to keep myself from going down that path again.
A bottle of false ease was no way to deal with my problems. It shouldn't ever be.
It was before, but it had never truly helped.
But it only took a few memories and a boy to get me to get drunk. Minding all this, I hadn't been drunk in like a million years, and I was pretty sure everybody could tell.
"Jesus Christ, Zach! You look like you've been to hell and back."
Donalds chuckled, throwing his hand against my shoulder. Next came the voice of Walker, who sounded almost in awe.
"Zachary Rogers, you fuckin' beast. When was the last time I've seen you this blasted?"
I rolled my eyes, feeling how much it hurt to even do that simple task, and shoved my hands deep into my old blue jacket. That's when I caught a glimpse of a glimmering tiara happily resting on Ashton's dusty blonde head. "What the heck are you wearing, Ashton?"
Before the idiot of a man himself could actually answer, Rodriguez was already talking with as much animation as Micky Mouse. "Bro is gonna be a Disney Princess every day this week!" He starts laughing uncontrollably as he keeps talking, "The best part, Mandy Hartfield is throwing some Halloween party at her rich ass aunt's house this Friday, so we'll all get to see the shitshow he's putting on. Man coach is gonna be so pissed when he finds out that's how we're ending the season!"
I looked from Rodriguez to Ashton with a mild look of amusement. Ashton, however looked just as every bit crazy as usual, smiling his broad smile and bouncing up and down like a kid who's just gotten the jackpot from some rich house during Halloween.
"Oh my God, Zach! What the hell happened to you?"
I perked up at the hysterical drawl of my girlfriend running up behind me and draping her arms around my waist. I, out of habit, twisted my fingers around her small wrists in comfort. I could hear the footsteps of what sounded like more than half the squad sidling up behind her, and then the faces of Gretchen Yondi, Mandy Grace, Haley McDonald and a few of the new girls popped into my view to stand around the other guys.
"Are you... hungover?" I awkwardly looked behind me at my girlfriend shrugging.
"I thought it had been a while since I cracked open my dad's liquor cabinet. So... you know." I didn't want to tell her the real reason. I didn't want her to worry about her boyfriend. I just didn't want to tell her because I was embarrassed. I had relapsed and that was not okay.
"So you drank the whole cabinet?" The rest of the guys and a few of the cheerleaders there then went onto make fun of me and how terrible, horrible, and no good I looked. They probably weren't ever going to stop at the rate they were going - it was starting to get a little out of control to be honest - but they all stopped when Corbett Connors sauntered his broad frame up next to Walker. Already, I could practically feel the sophomore cheerleaders scattered around our large group sigh like they were in love. The only girls that seemed to have repelled the obviously fake charm of Corbett were Gretchen and Taylor, the latter of which physically got defensive and squeezed her arms tighter around my body.
I coughed out in both pain and amusement.
"Corbett, hey!" Walker, in all his shaggy hair glory, practically latched onto Corbett. They were like two rich snobs in a snug mansion and it made me feel really stupid for not seeing it in the past.
"Hey. What're you guys talking about?" asked Corbett. I visibly cringed, but no one saw except Taylor and maybe Gretchen, they were too focused on the blonde giant before them. I, on the other hand, kept my eyes trained on someone or somewhere else, trying my best to not get angry at the mere sight of the freaking crappy human being.
Luckily enough too, Corbett seemed to have been ignoring me and I was A-okay with that!
Although, when his mouth produced Andrew's name through his throaty drawl, I actually looked at him, "Oh geez, why is that brat hanging out with Andrew? Him of all people!" His voice sounded hateful and slightly annoyed as he looked off behind me; and then the others were doing the same. So naturally, I turned around in the direction all of them were facing so fast that Taylor dropped her arms from around my waist. There, standing just a few feet away from our little group was Andrew Parsley, and he was with Mandy. He had his hand on her cheek. She was blushing! What the heck were they doing?
I didn't know what I was doing until Taylor was cupping my elbow. "Woah there, tiger. You'll cut a hole into your hands with how hard you're clenching your fists." I inhaled, shakily undoing my fingers from their balled form.
"Whatever." Whatever. That was right. I shouldn't have been bothered by the sight of Andrew hanging around Mandy. He looked genuinely happy to be with her and that was what I wanted from the start! From the moment in the office when I realized that Andrew was never going to be the same I wanted him to be happy, to go back to how he was before; because after the first few days of school, he never looked the same. He didn't have that challenging spark in his eyes and that aura of superiority - I mean even though he wasn't as popular around school as say freaking Corbett - he just looked beat.
But in that moment, with the wind wrestling with everything in its path, I was pretty sure Andrew looked closer to being his normal self with Mandy than he looked with me.
So I couldn't help but feel jealous. At the beginning of the summer, even the beginning of the school year before that fated encounter, I would have laughed my head off if someone came up and told me that I would be so close to Andrew that I'd be feeling jealous when he was with another girl.
I wasn't even a girl, but I somehow wanted to be freaking Mandy Hartfield so that I'd have him staring at me like he was staring at Mandy.
So I'd have a good, viable reason to like him as much as I did.
But No!
No.
That's not what was supposed to happen. I'd built this whole life around Taylor, around myself, in front of everyone and I wasn't going to ruin it for anything. Not even for him.
Maybe that made me the scum beneath people's feet, or a scaredy cat with a bent back and bristled hairs, or just a plain chicken.
If you've worked so hard to get to the point in life that I've reached, then maybe you'd understand. My life was like an infant. I made it. I molded it from my own DNA, and my own hardwork from trying to grasp it, and I didn't want to drop it just like that.
I wasn't strong enough for that.
I thought I would be, but I never filtered in the fact that I might somehow get these stupid feelings. They just popped up out of nowhere. I did not ask for them, nor did I want them. Usually I was pretty good at keeping my emotions in check. I mean, I've had a lot of practice after what happened with my life when my mom died, but all my hardwork has seemed to have jumped out of a plane and splatted onto the hard surface of the Earth.
Getting drunk really opens a person's mind to see the bigger picture. I've been so focused on Andrew that I was losing what I wanted for so long in the process. I just...
I couldn't.
Turning away so that I wouldn't do anything stupid and make everyone in the group look at me weirdly, I kept my shoulders hunched and mind locked away. Thinking like that could kill a man. Beside me, Taylor wound her little fingers around my upper arm. I turned to give her a light smile, but her eyes looked a little worried. "Are you alright? Are you -"
I leaned towards, knocking my lips against hers gently. She tasted like chocolate and lipstick, sweet like she was. So when I pulled away, I had to reassure her, "I'm good, really," but I was more so telling myself that rather than her. I think she could tell, but I was probably wrong by the way she smiled her oblivious smile and nodded.
"That's good," and her voice held no significant suspicion or anything, only her preppy cheeriness.
Then a second later, the bell finally let us start our day in school, I kind of kept to myself. Nobody really noticed my switch in mood, not even Taylor anymore, and I was silently thanking whatever deity we praised up in the heavens for it. However, I knew that at least one person noticed. I knew it in my bones because I know Andrew.
Admittedly, I had gotten to know him more than any friend I've ever had. I knew that he was the type to be aloof to most, but that was because nobody had really tried to get under his skin as much as I did. I also knew that he had a keen liking for sarcasm and that made him an open book when he was angry. When he was happy, though, you could tell because he seemed to rarely even be happy. At least, to a stranger that is, but to someone... like me, I could tell his moods. I knew that he wasn't very good at hiding his emotions, nor did he have a good handle on them when he was distraught or excited. I just knew because...
Andrew Parsley was a person, that if you tried hard enough, you could get to know fairly easily.
That meant that I could definitely tell he was pissed off at me for so blatantly avoiding him; and when Andrew was pissed off, he would get this look on his face - one where his left eye twitched and his lips slightly pulled down into each other - that I'm not sure he really even ever noticed he was making such a face. He also started pulling that sarcasm of his straight out of thin air and aimed his words at anybody that stood in his way. I took pity on those few girls that tried getting his attention in the hallway, but also I was grateful because they distracted him for me unbeknownst to them just long enough for me to escape his fiery gaze.
I almost felt like I was back on the football field with him all those times before for practice when I would constantly tease him and belittle his playing style.
But this wasn't the football field and he and I weren't enemies anymore. We definitely weren't enemies, but after a week of avoiding Andrew, maybe that's what we were reverting back to becoming. My brain was screaming for joy, but my heart was hurting because I actually genuinely cared for the kid.
I couldn't help it, yet I had to, for the sake of my own happiness in the future.
"Are you dressed in your costume yet, Zach? Zach! What the heck! We're leaving in ten minutes!" I swiveled around from my position at my window to hold my hands up. It was a move I made to shield myself from her blazing anger.
The week had gone by faster than I wanted it to. Before I could even come up with an excuse not to go to this stupid party, it was too late.
"In my defense, I didn't even want to come to this stupid party in the first place. I'm only going because you want to go and I need to be there to," I hesitated for not even half a second, "protect my girl." She deadpanned, so I kept going. "You know how much I hate Corbett now! Have you forgotten that the party is at his house?" She crossed her arms and tapped her foot, causing the long demon tail to bounce in time with her toes.
She sighed after a few moments of deliberation to mumble, "I told Mandy that I was coming. You need to come, too, because I know you'll regret it if you don't. You love parties. Plus, we're helping Mandy decorate her house. It involves toilet paper, so. . ."
I obviously caved in at the mention of toilet paper and in no time we were at the biggest, most obnoxiously decorated mansion in our small town.
"Tell me again why I agreed to come to this stupid party?" I asked Taylor, but narrowed my eyes at the blonde figure carrying a ton of toilet paper from the house. Just looking at my ex-friend was making me regret coming just to TP a house. I mean, sure, it was his house but I didn't want to actually see him. It should work like that, right? I guess not.
"Gosh. Just come on." Taylor chuckled, getting out of the car. I didn't move a muscle, though, and she saw this through the windshield. She banged on the front of my dad's car roughly, and I jumped from how aggressive she suddenly turned. I mean, the look in her fiery gaze was akin to that of the devil's glare. It was probably the costume that did her gaze up a bit.
So to please the angered woman, I unbuckled and pulled myself, with as much reluctance as I could muster, out of the car.
The next few hours - it was five-thirty, the party started at eight-thirty - were spent with me and Corbett thoroughly, like not maintaining eye contact for more than a second, ignoring each other. Mandy and Taylor got the snacks and drinks ready, Corbett's cousin from out of town - I didn't know his stupid name, probably Tyler or Terry - got the music set up and helped Corbett and I TP the house to look like a mummy, and a few cheerleaders from the squad were getting the alcohol.
As I was throwing another role, Corbett's cousin had started talking to me. This was right around the time people started showing up. "You know," I paused right as I was grabbing another role of the two-ply, and glanced up at the blonde jock - seriously the Conners and Hartfields all seemed to be blonde and athletic - a few yards away from me. "You seem like the type of guy that hates my cousin." I rolled my eyes.
"Good deduction skills, Sherlock." Tommy's lips formed a very bright smirk.
"I try, I try." He went quiet for a moment, but then the moment was gone and I was kind of annoyed about that. "So, I see you're dating a pretty hot chick. Her name's Taylor, right? She seems nice. How long have you been dating?"
After throwing the last role, I shrugged and dug my hands deep into my pockets. "Long enough."
His smirk widened. I pulled my brows together in both caution and question. "Who the heck are you, again? The dating police?"
Timmy's laugh was about as warm as the Southern Ocean. "No. Just curious about something that doesn't look right."
I cocked my head to the side because I was honestly so confused about his words, and it made him burst out in laughter. "Confused? Yeah. I was too until I met someone who helped me. He made me open my eyes, so that's what I'm trying to do for you. 'Cause, like dude, open your God damn eyes. The lack of possessiveness over your girlfriend, who is around pretty nice look, uh ha, guys. The way you seem so tense and like you're thinking too much. And I mean, who styles their hair like that anymore? Plus, I'd think I'd know because I was pretty much in the same boat. You're so obviously g -"
It just happened so fast. One second I'm listening to Trystan speak, and then I'm grabbing his black shirt - he was apparantly a ninja - and I was pulling his large self to the side of the house where nobody could see us like a mad-man. It was like I couldn't control my body anymore and went into Hulk-rage-mode, using strength I'd never known I had. And Tucker, well he was surprised to say the least, but was pushing my hands off of him as soon as I stopped. He was looking at me like I wasn't completely crazy, though.
"So I hit the nail on the head, then, right?"
I roughly pointed my finger at him, barely missing his chest, and spat, "You keep your fucking mouth shut. Your stupid words are all wrong anyway, but I don't want people finding out that some..." I looked him up and down in anger, "beach going numskull thinks that I'm a gay. I'm not. So stop thinking that!" I could feel my own anger going beyond any point I've let it go before, but I couldn't help it. His words just set me off and it created this domino effect. I had to turn around to lessen the blow of each domino, to calm down.
First the kids at my old school, now this guy who probably thinks he knows everything!
I'm not gay.
I never kissed that boy.
And I don't want to kiss Andrew!
Thomson cleared his throat through a heavy sigh, and the feeling of his pitying eyes on me had me deflating my anger. He then said in a quiet tone, "It's okay to be gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay, so it's okay."
I slowly looked back towards him, giving myself up in defeat. He half smiled and kept going. "I don't know who hurt you, but they were obviously either just like you, or idiots," and for a split second, I thought I saw him remembering something. I thought I saw him looking shameful, like he fell into either of the two categories that he just explained. I widened my eyes subconsciously.
"Are you... are you gay?"
Ted came back to reality with a spark in his eyes and an even bigger smile. "And proud. Although," his smile became sad, "yeah, I got hurt along the way, and I think I hurt him... but I'm okay. And you will be too. Just... don't hurt yourself trying to hide away. It never works out. Trust me. It never does because someone always finds out. Either with intuition or they see you... they see you," he starts chuckling uncontrollably to himself, "they see you in a gay bar flirting with the bartender."
Although the Connors kid was probably right, I didn't bother taking his advice. I didn't want to really risk it this time and move again. Not again.
So, after we got back to the actually started party now, I decided to avoid that kid.
"Leaving me so soon, Z?"
I was slipping away right as he teasingly asked me. I shrugged, swinging my hand out to steal someone's just opened beer from between their fingers. "O' course," I took a large gulp of the bitter tasting beer, "see you 'round, Toddy - "
"It's Terrance. Terrance Holloway, actually."
"Huh. Good to know."
Then I was in the forest of bodies, hiding beneath their canopy of limbs and slipping past their sharp fingers; and away from all my problems with a bottle of beer to keep me company and tell me that things can only go up from where I was.
I was probably making the worst mistake since, possibly ever but I didn't care. A day of opening up and a week of shutting down can cause someone to do that; especially someone like me. Someone so completely and utterly conflicted with their life. A few drinks weren't going to hurt.
Yes they were.
A constant state of wastedness was what I was used to be in before I moved here. I barely remember my summer going into high school, but that's a completely different story.
Is it though?
After the total mess that my day had gone so far, I decided that I wasn't going to make it worse by thinking while sober. So I just wasn't going to think, for one night. I was going to live the life I used to back in Michigan. No drama. No boys. Not much of anything.
And to be honest, that's how the night went. I had that fleeting thought of Andrew, but as soon as I took a sip of the Jack Daniel's that somehow ended up in my hand, that thought had vanished. And summarily, I was in a spacious bedroom with Taylor and a bunch of other people about to play some party game. It had alcohol involved, and I was pretty drunk by then, so I was going to play.
"This is going to be so much fun, Zach," giggled Taylor. I smiled warmly, too dazed to even care about my actions, too preoccupied with trying to seem fine to actually care. I was a very careless drunk to be honest.
I'd always been that way and I dont think I was going to change.
"Alright everyone! Let's get started!" I sat up straight as the woman herself, Mandy Hartfield, began to talk. Taylor was whispering something about Not kissing other girls, but her voice was drowned out by the banging of the bedroom door opening and the figure of a freaking god came into my vision.
My eyes melted onto the boy's body, surprised to see him actually at the stupid party. He had his glaring eyes in me too, and I tensed up at his presence. I mean, who wouldn't be? He had a murderous look that was only played up even more with his Halloween costume. He was dressed in a cotton white tank top and he was made up to look like a vampire with some sick tats. Fake blood dripped down his chin and I was probably looking the same with my drool.
I was pretty drunk to be looking at Andrew the way I was, but not drunk enough yet. I could still feel my insides flipping at his presence, but my mind turning and turning and twisting and turning with doubts and regrets from thinking I could do the things I did.
Andrew started talking, but I didn't listen to a word he said. I blocked my ears basically as I kept my eyes glued to him. Nothing but white sound flooded my mind, I was too lost.
Behind the white noise and piercing doubts, I could faintly picture kissing the dark red stained lips of Andrew Parsley.
This foggy image kept getting clearer and clearer; it was me and him, close, too close, with our lips locked and hands exploring. He felt warm in my mind, but that was just my whole body setting itself on fire from the thoughts I was creating. I was so hot and bothered, that I had to look away. The slideshow in my head didn't leave,  though.
It only flickered from a daydream to a memory.
From brunette hair, and pillow-like lips, to sharp-edges features and cloud white hair.
From soft, searching touches, to rough and fast handling.
From Andrew, to Owen, they flickered in between my thoughts, switching places and making me more and more uncomfortable. I was so uncomfortable, I actually started listening, turning my attention back to Andrew. He was taking his seat a few spaces away from me between Gretchen and Mandy.
I laughed to myself at the image, finding it oddly funny that his ex-bedroom buddy was on one side, and a new fling on another; or I was laughing through the tight-chested jealousy.
Either way, this game was going to be long.
◇
Oof
I hate this chapter because it took me so long to write it and it's terribly written lmaooo.
. . .
I love being hard on myself. :)
But omfg I'm so sorry guys. My life just got so busy so suddenly, probably because of the time of the year. Fall is always the busiest, and so is spring.
But I updated! I did it! And there is going to be a third part to Zach's POV of the party!
And, oh my dear lord, I finally revealed the name of Him!
What a wild world wild time. At least I hope or whatever.
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this long ass chapter that I wanted to bestow upon you guys for being so late. Again it's not revised and edited because I'm not doing that on a first draft. On a first book. Anymore at least.
What do you think about Owen from the little bit I gave away?
And questions!
Thoughts on Zach and the life he said he built for himself?
What do you guys think about the bit with Terrance Holloway. (He's my favorite one scene characters in my book out of all the little-to-no scene characters.)
What do you think will happen next chapter? (Besides what you already know haha)
And finally, do you like how Zach is being portrayed throughout my story?
So yeah. I'm really sorry again for keeping you guys hanging.
Thank you for sticking with me you lovelies! I love all of you and your support because I'm an attention and support seeking whore. ;)
See you whenever I get my shit together next time.