Straight Boys - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

"Zach! Zachary?! Zach!" I dropped my hands into my lap and lifted my head at the shrill call of my name. Across the hall and sitting in the uncomfortable plastic hospital chairs, Corbett and Annie seemed to do the same, both lifting their heads to see who was rushing into the emergency room looking for me.
It was Taylor.
Her red hair was up in a messy bun, a pink, fluffy hair band pushing back her flyaways, and her dad's lettermen jacket was slipping off of her left shoulder. Her eyes were wide and filled with confusion as she rushed towards me. I stood to meet her, but my feet wouldn't budge when I saw two bodies following her.
Mandy Hartfield and Gretchen Yondi.
"What -"
Taylor stopped before me, her hands reaching out for me as she quickly said, "I was having a sleepover with Mandy and Gretchen. . .," on a Sunday? ". . . We were discussing cheer activities when you called. What's going on?"
My eyes shifted between Taylor, Mandy, and Gretchen as I tried to formulate an adequate answer for her question. I was at a loss of words, however, after taking in Gretchen's teary eyes and Mandy's worried stance.
I physically could not explain the situation to the girls in front of me, and I was so sure it was not only because I was terrified for Andrew's safety. Deep down, I was feeling guilty, and having the steely eyes of Corbett drilling holes into the back of my head wasn't helping in the slightest.
I was just confused and overwhelmed and I couldn't figure out what to do or say. I felt suddenly so helpless and I hated it. I rarely felt these feelings, so when I suddenly did, I didn't know what do or how to handle the situation.
If Andrew was here, he would have. . .
Luckily - or unluckily - Corbett stepped up to our little quartet, Annie clinging to his arm, and told them for me, "Andrew passed out and wasn't waking up, so we brought him to the hospital."
All three girls turned to look at Corbett as if they were just not noticing him and his little, red headed tail. Taylor's eyebrows lifted just the slightest - the way they do when she's surprised - and she shrugged her dad's lettermen up her shoulders as she gave Corbett a once over. Gretchen, while still trying her hardest not to cry, sniffled and asked if he knew anything else -Corbett shook his head - but the most surprising reaction - or unsurprising - I witnessed was Mandy's.
She crossed her arms, pressed her lips into a thin line, and glanced at Corbett with a second of venom that was almost imperceptible if anybody wasn't looking - but I was always looking, always analyzing - before questioning him, "What are you doing here, Corbett? I thought you hated Drew?" Her voice was keenly wet, as if she was innocently asking someone because she was simply just curious and sad at the thought of her crush being in the hospital. It was a meticulously placed question, one with high emotions and a great amount of thought out into it.
And the funny thing is that everyone was buying into it, everyone except me and Corbett Connors, and maybe even Taylor. Her hands that had been around my arms tightened their grip, and she stepped closer to me as if she knew what was going on inside of Mandy's head.
Maybe she did. They were becoming really close these days.
I pulled her close out of habit, but the minute my hands met her waist, the war inside of my head that I had been trying to push away this whole time flared and I couldn't help but let her go. I wasn't feeling that bubbly sensation in the pit of my stomach like I used to. I couldn't bare the emptiness that was taking its place inside of me where that youthful love was supposed to be, so I dropped my hands and pushed her off of me, but I didn't push her away. I was too tense to push her away because then she would get suspicious.
I didn't want to start anything. I wasnt in the right state of mind. I wasn't in the right place to deal with it. I didn't want to start a fight when there was one about to start right in front of us.
"That's none of your business, you little twit. Besides, I should be asking you the same thing? It's not like you and Andrew are a couple?" Corbett's voice was a calculated type of steely, a tone that he formulated to perfection so that it would give away nothing of what he was really feeling. It was a tone I often heard him use back when we used to be sort of friends, a tone he often used with me at times, too. God he and Mandy sounded so much alike.
"Drew is my friend, Corbett, something you probably don't understand anymore. . .," Mandy trailed off, crossing her sweater bound arms indignantly and glancing away as if she was speaking from experience.
I glanced at Corbett to gauge his reaction, but all I got was a concrete block barely cracking from the pressure. He looked as if he wasn't affected in the slightest - completely different from literally an hour before - but I could tell. I could see it on almost anyone, that look of utter and total self loathing mingled with sadness. It was almost imperceptible, but to the trained eye, anybody could catch it; and as he tried not to let that crack deepen, Corbett took a step away, his little friend following after him, as he slightly nodded, but he was far from stepping down.
"Yeah, whatever, Mandy. . . Friends? What the hell are those anyway? Just a bunch of back stabbing, stupid, freaking preju -" A dainty hand shot out and covered Corbett's mouth, her small form surprisingly strong as she pulled Corbett back to their spots across the small hall.
Corbett ripped his face free a second later, his eyes blazing like the burning man as he whispered yelled at Annie. Annie whispered back at him calmly, her face wary as she clutched her phone between the two of them.
I furrowed my brows as I studied them, trying to read what she was saying to him, or threatening him with by the looks of it. I squinted at her phone, then at Corbett's wild gestures, then back to Annie's face, and was about to interrupt them, when Taylor started speaking again, stopping me.
"Who's that?" She asked, her eyes staring at Annie and then back at me.
I cleared my throat, shoving my hands into my pockets as I answered, "Annie. She's Andrew's friend... and Corbett's I guess."
"That's Annie?" Taylor and I both turned to look at Mandy as she sidled up next to us. She looked surprised, her eyebrows high on her forehead and lips turned down uncharacteristically of her usually smiling face.
"Who's Annie?" Gretchen piped up as well, her baggy jacket swallowing her whole as she tiptoed her way into our conversation.
By that time, Corbett and Annie were silently ignoring each other as Annie quietly spoke to someone on her phone. Corbett was heatedly tapping his foot, his hands on his hips and his cheeks burning red every second Annie ignored him to talk on her phone to someone.
"Annie is Corbett's... lesbian friend from therapy."
I felt my eyebrows trudge down my forehead on their own accord and my fists clench at my sides at the word choice Mandy was using. Truthfully, I didnt know why I was suddenly getting so irritated. It wasn't like I was actually friends with Annie, but the way Mandy was talking... I felt it hit right at home because I was finally starting to get it.
I was finally starting to sort of understand my own feelings, and I was even starting to accept them - well, before everything sort of went down hill - so the way she had said those simple words made me a little frustrated.
Corbett wasn't even my friend anymore, not even close, but to say that about someone - something so personal - made me want to spill everything right then and there.
I was becoming a Psychologist/therapist for a reason, so I knew. I knew what something like that being revealed could do.
"Corbett goes to therapy?! I knew he was a little koo-koo, but -"
"But what, Yondi?" My voice was it's usual lilt, but I could feel the way my glare was striking Gretchen like a whip. I knew she could feel it, and I watched as she instantly shut her mouth and glared right back at me.
"Why are you looking at me like that, Zach? I thought you of all people would agree with me?" Gretchen crossed her arms before flipping her dark hair over her shoulders. I stuffed my fists into the pockets of my jacket to conceal my uncharacteristically bad feelings.
Beside me, Taylor put her hand on my shoulder and stepped closer to Gretchen and Mandy, her eyes wide as she said, "Guys. Now's not the time to discuss the personal life of Corbett Connors. We're here for Drew, so let's just. . ."
Gretchen nodded once and took her seat, and I watched as Mandy followed suit. When did they become so buddy-buddy? They were literally fighting for Andrew's attention not too long ago?
Now's not the time to psychoanalyze every little thing, Zachary!
I sighed and looked away, and at that moment, Annie and Corbett were coming out of their little world. Both of them looked tensed as they stepped up to our small group again. Corbett looked the most uncomfortable, but he didn't voice his opinions.
"If you guys don't mind, I called our... our friend. He'll be here in about twenty minutes. He's really good about calming people and... stuff," Annie said, her eyes shifty but head held high.
"Who is he? Is he a youth pastor or something?" Taylor asked.
Corbett and Annie glanced at each other, then back at the four of us. Annie seemed skeptical to relay the information on her friend to us, while Corbett looked livid - like usual - except on a completely different level. He looked almost scared. I narrowed my eyes and looked closer and Corbett, but that's when I finally understood.
He wasn't livid per se. No. He looked distraught, but in that concealed type of way, like he didn't want others to see how messed up he was feeling. It was like that manipulation game he always played at school in front of the teachers, except for completely different reasons.
He was glaring, and not relaxed whatsoever. His legs were constantly moving and he seemed to be squeezing his arms so tightly, that his nails were leaving indentations in his skin; and for a split second, I felt like I was looking into a mirror at myself from middle school.
He was trying to hide himself in plain sight, but I could tell he was on the verge of having a meltdown, a meltdown similar to ones I had after the incident.
I didn't have too much time to dwell on everything going on around me, however, because in that moment, one of the nurses from earlier was rounding the corner and coming straight towards us. It was the nurse that I had spoke to. Her scrubs were covered in splotches of something liquid, and she was carrying a clipboard with her.
Annie, Corbett, and I all straightened up and headed right for the nurse. We had been waiting for over an hour, so we were all a little on edge and curious to know what the heck was going on. Taylor, Mandy, and Yondi followed after our quick-paced forms, too, and before the nurse could take a breather, a group of kids were in her face.
"How's our friend?" Annie's voice was breathless and high pitched.
"Is Andrew okay?" Corbett's voice sounded panicky like he seemed to feel.
"What's wrong with Andrew?" Mandy was quick to want to know what was going on.
"Is he going to be okay?" Taylor murmured to the Nurse, her hands tightly wrapped around my bicep.
"Can you tell us how our friend is doing, please?" Gretchen Yondi was already crying.
"Is everything alright?" I finally asked, the feeling of the five others crowding around me making me almost claustrophobic.
This felt familiar. Almost like I was reliving a moment from my past, the past that still had my mom.
The nurse - Rachel from what her badge said - took in a tired breath and closed her eyes like she was done with the night shift already. She put her free hand on her hip and looked between the six of us like we were making her life just a little bit harder by being there before saying, "Mr. Parsley is in stable condition. He suffered from a Grand Mal seizure after sustaining a period of spiked blood pressure, which caused his blackout episode. This usually means he was under some intense stress, so now, can anyone tell me what happened in full, please?"
Annie was the first to spill, "We got into a fight. Andrew hadn't taken the things we were talking about very well and he started having a panic attack. We didn't mean for our fight to escalate so quickly. We just didnt know that-that any of this would happen!"
"Can we see him?!" Mandy bursted out not even a second after Annie finished telling the nurse all she had to say.
Nurse Rachel shook her head 'No' and proceeded to hold up the clipboard. "Sorry, but not right now. We are still conducting some tests. For now, can someone fill out this paperwork for me, please?"
"What about Andrew's dad?" Taylor questioned, her hand immediately going in to grab the clipboard, but Annie shot her hand out and grabbed it before her. The older red head shot a confused glare at Taylor before looking back at the nurse again to listen to her answer.
"Mr. Parsley is incapacitated right now." She made to say something about that, but she changed her mind last minute and instead went with, "You know, you kids really should think before you act. That poor family has been through enough already. . ."
I clenched my jaw and looked away, suddenly feeling a heavy weight in my heart when I recalled the image of Andrew's mother lifeless and laying on her hospital bed hooked up to all kinds of machines, and his sister missing half her hair because she had it all shaved off so the doctors could get to her head wounds more easily. Then I remembered Andrew's tear-stained face leaking his sadness onto my shirt when he cried in front of me, and Mr. Parsley's sunken eyes as he talked to me.
I closed my eyes, unable to stop the images floating in front of me, as I tried to stop this heavy feeling that was pulling me under. This feeling was grasping at my heart and shredding it to pieces.
This is all my fault. . .
". . . ary, Zachary, hey? Hey? Are you alright?" My eyes fluttered open and I turned to stare down at my girlfriend. Her eyes were wide and she was giving me this look of worry, if understanding as if she knew what was going on.
She probably did.
Taylor wasn't stupid, and she definitely wasn't some airhead like a lot of people believed her to be.
She was my girlfriend, a girl I had fallen in love with, one of my closest friends and the only girl I ever dated.
"I'm... I. . .," I squeezed my eyes shut again and stepped out of her embrace. Too many emotions were taking over all at once and I physically couldn't stand it. I was breaking again and my glue was laying somewhere in the hospital after experience possibly one of the worst experiences ever to happen to him, and I was the one who did it to him.
If only I had told him. . .
I just wanted to see him happy. I wanted Andrew happy to have friends, happy to have me, but what that costed was a few lies here and there. I was good at lying. I did it to myself every day of my life since I came to this god forsaken town four years ago. I was good at it, but I wanted it to end.
I had wanted it to end the lies the minute I saw Andrew eating his ice cream, and it did, but not in the way I wanted it to end. It had all come crashing down in one single blow made by the fist of a boy I once called a friend - and my own doing, really - and it was all catching up to me.
All of it.
Why my family had left our old home.
Why I tried so damn desperately to forget something that happened to me out of sure bad luck and unfortunate meetings.
Why I was madly and truly in love with a boy I had no real reason to be in love with.
Because I had lost not only my whole life, my mom, but because my own friends couldn't stand the thought of someone they knew liking boys.
Because I liked a boy that used me and then threw me away like I was just a pawn in his game of chess.
Because deep down, in some sick, twisted way, I had started liking Andrew a long time before I actually wanted to be his friend. Because I was in love with our fights and our bantering and I never admitted it because I was so desperate to hate someone, to hate him even though he made me want to be with him. Because the moment I actually gave him a chance, I slipped further than I intended, I started to realize why I actually listened to Corbett when he talked about him.
This was years in the making. The moment Corbett and I became buddies, and I realized he was gay because he wouldn't shut up about the skinny quarterback on our team, I knew there was something about Andrew Parsley. I tried ignoring it, I tried hating him, but after seeing him so broken and sad, I couldn't. I couldn't physically hate him anymore because what reason did I had other than I couldn't deal with my own emotions?
And I still couldn't!
"I -" I froze, my throat clogging up as I felt myself starting to come to this sinking realization. I'm in love with Andrew Parsley.
I hardly knew him, yet I was in love with him? I wanted to know more about him, but with him the way he was, I didn't feel as though I deserved it. I didn't deserve it. I wanted it, but i couldn't have it. Not with the way Andrew was! It was my fault he was like that!
How could I fall for someone I messed up even more as I was trying to fix them? How ironic!
"I think I just need to sit down. . .," I told Taylor, my head starting to throb from a frustrated headache full of memories of my life back home, of a summer camp I had begged my parents to let me attend, of memories of him and what came after; memories of every little interaction I had had with Andrew before I started to help him, of just every thing with Taylor, and Corbett, and in between.
I was rethinking everything that had happened these past two months, and before that even.
How would I face Andrew after this? And the way he looked at me before he passed out? I was virtually his enemy again!
I always find a way to mess things up! It's just a terrible miracle that it wasnt because of a joke I made! Maybe not a real joke, but the joke that my life is.
I felt myself sniffling, and I hurriedly brought my hand up to wipe away the tears that were pooling in my eyes. Taylor was patting my shoulder, but she wasn't acknowledging me, rather the duo across the hall again. I also looked up at them, and that's when I noticed that they both were looking towards the entrance of the emergency room and gesturing someone to come over.
I rubbed the tears blurring my vision for a second time and turned to see who they had called to come help us or whatever, but it was like the world had started crumbling the moment my eyes caught onto the messy hair, masculine jaw, and deep eyes of the man.
My heart stopped beating as the man came towards us, and my eyes felt hot as I stared unblinkingly at his disheveled form and took in his completely different exterior. No. He was the same, just older.
He hadn't noticed me yet, and my brittle body was grateful because if he had noticed me from the start, I was sure I would have shattered on sight.
"I rushed over as fast as I could! Corbett, hey, how are you doing, Annie?" His voice was deeper than I remembered, nicer and not so harsh. He wore simple clothes, too, unlike the dark clothes and leather he used to wear.
"I don't know, I don't know! This is all so much so fast, I just had to call you because... you know," I watched as Annie discreetly gestured to Corbett, then to the rest of us, and I tensed up impossibly more.
Please don't be who I think it is. Please don't be who I think it is. Please. . .
The familiar man looked down at Corbett gravely, like he understood what was happening to him, then he turned to the rest of the group.
First he saw Gretchen, who was still bawling her eyes out over a guy she had a one night stand with over a year ago.
Then he moved onto Mandy, and he immediately seemed to know who she was because he glanced back at Corbett and mouthed something to Annie, something along the lines of 'stresser. . .' then turned back to take in Mandy's teary eyes and closed off exterior as she tried to calm Gretchen.
When Taylor came into his view, I immediately sat as far back into my chair as possible, trying to hide, trying to run away because that was something I was apparently so good at, but made sure ei could still see part of his reactions. He looked at Taylor and saw that she was curious and sad that this was happening, but he could see that she felt disinterested, that lacked that empathy she always lacked with me simply because she didn't understand - or rather because she wasn't as close to Andrew as someone like me or Annie was.
I watched as he turned back to Annie and Corbett, my breath baited and eyes trying so hard to look away, but I wouldn't let them. I listened as he asked them, "What happened exactly?"
"We got into a fight... with you know who and now he's in the hospital and-and s-she's here, you know? I didn't know what else to do or who else to call. You're the only person I know that can calm him, doc, look at him?! This is... this isn't like him!"
He looked over at Corbett, and taking a step towards him, he placed his hands carefully on his shoulder and whispered something into him ear. Whatever he whispered, I couldn't quite perceive, but I watched as Corbett relaxed and instantly started to tear up, and some part of me, some deep, dark part of me felt this panic start to form at how close he was to Corbett.
I wanted to get up, to rip him away from that boy, but I still wasn't sure it was him. There was no way it was though. What were the odds that I moved to the exact town he also lived in? What were the odds? Almost next to none, or else fate had some sick deal they were made on my behalf.
How could it be him?
It wasn't.
It just wasn't, and I had to tell myself that in order to get a grip. I was already falling apart, so I didn't need some friend of an ex-friend coming in and tearing everything down with just one look. . .
"Oh my God, Zach, you're bleeding!" My eyes widened as I touched my fingertip just below my nose, where I felt the warm substance oozing from my nostril. As soon as I saw the blood, the memory of Corbett punching me before we had to go to the hospital came rushing back to me and the pain of it hit me full force.
"Nurse!" Taylor called out as she got to her knees in front of me, effectively opening the view of the those across from us up. I threw my arm out to try and stop her, but she was having none of it.
"Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, I'm fine! It's just an old wound from earlier today. Taylor, stop, Taylor! No, stop!" My hand felt wet from the blood coming out of my nose, and with all of the adrenaline I had before finally spent up now, the pain was excruciating.
"Zachary, you're bleeding from a wound from early? There's no way! Nurse!" Taylor called again and aggressively pushed my head back to try and stop the blood from falling. With her action, I only caught a glimpse of him, but in that glimpse I could see that his attention was being drawn to the two of us.
I shut my eyes, the sting from the tears not enough to block the pain in my nose, and I tried to pray to some God up there that it wasn't who I thought it was and that he had no idea who I was. I wished for it so hard, nobody would have been able to understand.
"Hey, are you alright? You're nose is bleeding pretty... hard. . .," I felt my shoulders fall at the close sound of his voice. He's definitely standing over you, Zach. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes and stared up into the face of the man Corbett and Annie seemed to know, and I felt my heart stop again.
He knows you.
He definitely recognizes you.
Look at the way he's looking at you.
"Zachary... Zachary Rogers?"
My impudent side suddenly found his voice in all this craziness, and I had the audacity to smile like I wasn't breaking and jokingly said, "The one and only... Hi, Owen."
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Aw, yes, another unedited update from your one and only late queen!
Heh.
Who else is digging this quarantine about as much as they dig actually going to school and work for real? I'm so bored, and pent up with trying to finish this story, so here you go!
I hope you liked this long as heck chapter of Zach's pov. Honestly tell me, what do you think of it?
Are you surprised by everything has happened?
I'm not. I saw it coming honestly... hahah : ' )
Anyway, sorry for the long wait! Again, I hope you liked it!
Questions:
What do you think is wrong with Corbett? Why was he so quiet?
What was up with Zach in the beginning of this chapter?
Who is the man he didn't want to be there?
Thoughts on Mandy and Gretchen? Mostly Mandy?
And finally, what do you think is going to happen next?
Thanks again for sticking with me! And SHOUTOUT to everyone who is rereading this sorry excuse of a story! I tried my best with this chapter, and I know it isnt my best, but thank you.
LIKE and COMMENT please because I'm a greedy whore, and don't forget to stay happy and healthy! Love you guys, till next time!