Summers & Starbucks - Chapter 35: Chapter 35

Kaiden
I wake to Nathan shaking me.
"Kai, we're home."
I rub my eyes. He's parked in my driveway and it's just four in the afternoon. Did he fly the damn car?
I yawn and look out the window, suddenly hyper aware of his presence. He unlocks the car and gets out, opening the boot. I watch him get my bag out in the rearview.
How has it been only two hours since I was at the beach house? I feel like I've aged two years.
He puts the bag on the porch bench and peers in through the driving seat window.
"You're gonna come out or what?"
Rolling my eyes, I leave the car and pick up my bag, going inside my house.
Nathan is silent, following me. I enter the kitchen. It's eerily quiet, meaning my parents aren't home yet. They were supposed to get back today, maybe they rescheduled. I can never tell with them.
I walk upstairs and open my room, dropping the bag down on the floor. Nathan follows me in. I sit on the bed and face him, taking my shoes off.
The tension in the air can be cut with a needle.
"Why did you come back with me?! I didn't ask you to," Nathan says quietly, leaning against the door.
I look at him. He looks beautiful as usual, hair tousled from the wind. He's worn a black turtleneck and it hugs his toned torso, very different from his usual style. His crossed arms make his muscles pop.
He bites his lip, waiting for my reply.
"I wanted to. It got too much for me, being in Sam's presence after... all of that. "
Nathan nods. He sits beside me, a little too close to be friendly. My heartbeat picks up immediately.
"I was so.... scared that his dad would find out again."
He places a hand on my knee.
"I lost my shit when Raven said you were hooking up. How could Sam be so careless again, was all I was thinking the whole time I drove there. He was doing the same mistakes again and you were at risk. He can go to hell for all I care but I wasn't going to let him drag you down."
I feel warm all over, under his steady gaze.
"He's manipulative and charming. Trust me, I know. But I... I hated that you were together. I wasn't going to let him hurt you. You're too good for him anyway. You're too good for anyone actually but.... I was so fucking pissed to know you were with Sam of all people!"
He frowns.
"You never mentioned, not even once, that you weren't just friends! Since when have you been messing around?! And why wouldn't you tell me when I asked about the trip?"
I sigh, turning away from him.
"Well, I didn't hide it intentionally. It just, never came up. We didn't even hookup, he drunk kissed me. Then we texted and met up a few times," I sigh, taking my socks off.
"But we both knew it was just physical, until he told me today morning that he actually does like me. He was telling me that when you showed up."
"And?"
I look at him, staring right into his warm hazel eyes.
"And well, then I found out what happened. I'm sorry he hurt you like that, Nathan. I really am," I say softly.
"You said you respected his opinion, Kai. I think you subconsciously approve of what he did."
Nathan's voice is so low, I can barely hear him. I fidget with a cuticle on my finger.
"He was in the wrong for the way he went about things but I think he didn't intend for things to escalate the way they did. Trust me, I wouldn't want to lose my lifestyle either."
I don't know if I sound insensitive. I want to take Nathan's side but I also want to make him see that there's certain things that feel more important when you're 17.
"There's no way he could have convinced his dad, Nathan. Some people are just unreasonable. And you both would have been unhappy had he chosen you."
He frowns, deep in thought. He looks towards my balcony, his hand falling away from my knee.
I stand and pull off my shirt, walking to the bathroom. I'm sure he understands, somewhere deep down. He said he wanted to let Sam go, have his face not suffocate his memories anymore.
That will take time.
At least he wants to move forward.
Man, I have some luck, getting into the awkwardest love triangle to exist. I want to hide because of the embarrassment I'm feeling.
I leave the bathroom, wiping my face with a washcloth and throw on a fresh shirt.
"What else did he tell you?" Nathan asks, following my movements.
"He...uh, well, he broke up with me," I mutter. "I mean, whatever little fling we had, he doesn't want it anymore."
"Are you sad?"
His voice is so monotone, words carefully measured. I think it's more to distract himself.
"I don't know? He had told me he doesn't date so I knew not to expect too much. I wasn't that attached to experience heartbreak but... he said he didn't even want to stay in touch. He kept saying he's a selfish person."
"Doesn't wanna stay in touch at all?"
"Yeah."
"He definitely has it worse," Nathan says, sighing. There's a smile on his face.
Huh?
"Seriously, Kai, you can't go anywhere without making people love you?"
"What?" I ask, tying the strings of my sweats.
"He fell for you. That's why he doesn't wanna keep in touch! It's going to be hell for him to to be around you and pretend like he isn't head over heels."
"Much like how I feel about you then."
The words leave me before I can stop them.
I look up, realising what I said, fearing his reaction.
He's gone a bright red, looking at his hands. He looks adorable and I just want to coo.
"I'm sorry Nathan, I didn't listen to you when you warned me about him."
I sit beside him again and he meets my gaze.
"You did have your reasons and it wasn't exactly something you would have shared outright. But I really appreciate you coming there, even if it was going to hurt you. I appreciate that so much! And I promise I'll not push you to tell me things again."
"Kai..." He sighs softly. "I would have had to face him, tell you the truth someday. And I know it was impulsive on my part but I needed to do it. I got closure, finally. It didn't hurt as much as I expected."
He entwines his fingers in mine. I feel impossibly light at that simple touch.
"It didn't?"
"No, because you were there with me and you defended me. You called him out on his lack of remorse and stood up for me, even though you were, well, even though you had a thing with him. Do you know how much that means?"
He rakes his fingers through his hair.
"I admit I was furious when I found out you went with him even after I said not to. And I was even more angry to know you weren't platonic. I was so angry, I could feel my heart and ears go hot."
His hand in mine tightens.
"Then, as I was driving to you, I realised I was jealous. That feeling wasn't anger, it was the fucking green goblin in my chest. I wanted to put you and him as far as I possibly could."
"Why?" I laugh.
"Because I thought you liked me. I felt...betrayed, somewhat. By you, not him. In that one hour I thought of all the ways I could yell at you for making me get my hopes up. I still want to yell at you. You got me all in my feels, you idiot."
"Yeah well I-"
"Shut up and listen!"
I fall silent immediately.
"You got my fucking hopes up. You, Kaiden, when you told me you liked me. I freaked the fuck out. I couldn't believe it. Because you were so good to me. Through and through. I felt like if I got attached, you would disappear, like it was a joke. I didn't want to repeat my mistakes with Sam."
I listen with rapt attention. His eyes fill up with every word that leaves his lips.
"I was afraid Kai. I am afraid of getting attached but it is so easy to fall for you. I kept overthinking everything and pushing you away."
The dragons in my gut are having a fucking party.
"Finding out that you were... with Sam was the push I needed to admit it. I was so close to giving up. I thought I lost my one chance and that you weren't going to come back like you always do. And that thought hurt worse than Sam could ever hurt me. It made me realise that I am so stupid to push you away. I kept pushing away the only person that keeps me sane and makes me deliriously happy."
He inhales sharply.
"It made me realise that I love you."