Surrogate for My Brother-in-law - Chapter 52: Chapter 52

I curled up on the floor, miserable and in pain. I was too weak to even try to stand up. I shivered uncontrollably. It wasn't even that cold, but I could not stop shaking.
My wolf had managed to guide me through the aftermath of labor. The bleeding finally slowed. I knew it could take days to entirely stop. They gave women special pads at the hospital for that. I had one, already soaked, towel.
At least my odds of infection were low. They would be basically zero if I wasn't a half-blood. Werewolves didn't get sick. But my human side left me vulnerable.
How long was Eva planning to leave me there? Was she ever planning to come back? I knew she hated me, but did she hate me enough to let me die?
Waiting on Eva to show me even a single hint of mercy was pointless. She had never seen me as anything but a slave, a tool to use and discard. And she'd found the perfect way to discard me. I'd never be found, Eva was the only other person who knew about the passages.
I tugged at the cuff around my ankle. I had to operate by feel; there was no light. Even if I could see, I had no tools to work at the lock. And no real skill at lock picking, either. I could break a diary lock if I worked at it for a while, but that was it.
Even if I was free, could I make it out of the passages? Just sitting up against the wall took every ounce of strength I had left. There was no way I could stand up or walk.
Shift. My wolf commanded.
What? I couldn't shift! I'd never changed forms, not once in my life. Now my wolf wanted me to shift while chained up and bleeding, beyond exhausted from giving birth?
Shift, the wolf insisted again.
I didn't even know how! Sure, I listened to the other wolves talk about their first shift, how it felt, how wonderful it was. But they didn't exactly offer lessons to a half-blood who probably would never be able to do it.
I tugged on the chain again, uselessly, and slumped to the floor. I couldn't sit up any longer. A wave of nausea rolled over me and I retched up what little was in my stomach.
I may have passed out for a bit, I'm not sure. I know my wolf's voice faded and the darkness became kind of fuzzy. I thought I heard my mother's voice, so maybe I just drifted off into dreams for a little bit.
Shift! My wolf's demand was harsh.
I didn't want to wake up. Nothing hurt while I floated off into dreams. Everything hurt when I was awake. Why did my wolf want me to be awake?
Shift or die. My wolf's voice was faint. It was a struggle to hear her.
I didn't want to die. I had a baby. I had to get to my baby. I had to live, to take care of them. I had to live, to find my mother and tell her she was a grandmother.
But I didn't know how to shift. I didn't have the first idea what to do.
Let me. The wolf said.
Let her? Oh. Let her have control.
Everyone knew how dangerous it was to give control over to your wolf. You risked being lost in the mind of the beast forever. If I gave my wolf control, I might never stand up as a human again.
But what choice did I have? I could trust my wolf, or I could die in the dark. That was it. NO one was coming to save me.
Well, she had promised we would properly meet once the baby came. It was finally time.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and let go.
I wish I could describe that first shift. It feels like the kind of thing you remember forever. But, well, babies don't recall their first steps later in life. Maybe it's like that.
All I knew was that one moment I was lying on the dirty, blood soaked floor, helpless and in pain. And then I was on all fours, and the world was entirely different.
Hello, the wolf said, it has been too long.
I agreed. Why had I waited so long? Why had she waited so long?
Takes time.
She'd told me something like that before, in the mirror. I hadn't understood. I still didn't.
The wolf shrugged to herself and shook her back leg. I felt the cuff fall away, too loose in this form to hold me in place.
Time to run, the wolf declared.
I didn't even think about arguing. Was it safe, though? I'd just given birth. But I'd done that in my human body. Injuries didn't carry over. Did other things? I didn't know.
Run. Hunt. Survive, the wolf declared. Then. Reclaim our pup.
Yes. That was what I wanted. I wanted my pup back. Nothing else mattered.
The wolf scrambled through the darkness of the secret passages. She, of course, knew everything I knew. The ladders were a bit of a challenge, but she managed them by simply leaping straight up to the next level. I'd never realized how high a wolf could jump.
It was amazing, the way the wolf form moved. I was glad the wolf was in control. I was pretty sure I'd have run head first into a wall already.
Yes, the wolf confirmed. Most do.
Huh. No one told me that. I tried to imagine Leo's magnificent wolf form careening into walls and trees as he ran. Somehow I couldn't picture it.
Even him, the wolf insisted. Everyone. The body is different. Takes time to learn it.
Oh, that made sense. Would I learn?
Of course. Soon, not now. Now run. Now hunt.
She was right, again. I let myself drift along as the wolf ran through the passages until she found her way to the outside. Then we made a mad dash across the grounds into the forest. I think we passed a guard, but I couldn't be sure. It happened too fast.
Then everything was green and alive and how had I not known how much life there was just a few feet from my home? Why did I not spend every waking moment out in this wonderland of a forest? Why did I let the others cage me in the manor when I could have been out, running and free?
Past. Unimportant. Now is all there is. The wolf sort of shrugged.
Right. The past didn't matter to the wolf. All she cared about was the moment. That was one danger in trusting the wolf too much. But just then, I thought maybe she had the right idea. I didn't have time for regrets.
The wolf ran down a couple of small animals, and did me the favor of figuring out how to eat them because I had no idea what I was even doing. I should have been grossed out, but I was too hungry.
Then, as the moon rose high into the sky, full and heavy like my belly no longer was, the wolf threw back our head, and howled.
She howled in rage, in pain, in loss. Everything I'd never let myself feel, she screamed to the moon. My wolf demanded justice in my name.
And it felt so good, to finally, finally let all of that out.