Surrogate for My Brother-in-law - Chapter 78: Chapter 78
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To my surprise, when I mentioned the gift to Ethan, he suggested I accept it. When I expressed confusion that he thought I should take a gift from Leo when he was planning to court me, he tried to explain.
“Accepting the gift is just accepting the courtship,” Ethan said, “It's not like you're choosing him as your mate forever. It just means you're giving him the chance to prove himself to you.”
“So, it wouldn't be like promising to pick him over you?” I asked.
“No, not at all. You can accept as many courtship gifts, and as many courtships, as you want,” Ethan explained. He tilted his head. “How do you not know these things? You grew up in a pack.”
I shrugged. “I was mostly raised by Mom. She knows some stuff, but courting and things weren't really explained to her. And no one explained anything to me, because I was just a servant, and half human. They figured no one would ever bother courting me.”
“Your pack is full of idiots,” Ethan declared. “Just so you know that. Anyway, accept Leo's gift. It's beautiful, and you deserve nice things. You also deserve to be courted properly, and if I'm being honest and fair, Leo deserves the chance to prove himself.”
“You really think so?” I asked.
Ethan nodded, wincing. “I hate to say it, because I'm really hoping you'll still pick me, but Leo's a catch. He's a good man. He'll treat you right.”
“He thinks he's my fated mate,” I said.
“And he might be,” Ethan said. “That is something only you, and your wolf, really knows.”
“I don't know if I believe in all that. I mean, my parents were fated, supposedly,” I pointed out.
“Eh, Arthur was an idiot. Any man who can look at your mother and pick that shrew Annette is clearly a fool,” Ethan said. “He put his ambitions over his good sense and his wolf. And see where it got him.”
It got him banished. He lost everything. What would happen to Leo, and to me, if I ignored my wolf's wishes? Would I become as bitter and unhappy as my father?
My wolf, naturally, offered no advice. She'd made her opinion known, and now she waited to see what I would choose.
“On the subject of accepting courtships,” Ethan said, “Tessa, would you take a walk with me? Please?”
“Oh, um, yes, sure.” I accepted Ethan's arm and let him lead me out of the manor and through the garden.
Ethan led me to a secluded bit of garden, a lovely little space next to the creek. There was a swing to sit on, soft moss underfoot, and a trellis supporting vines overhead to provide shade and shelter. It was beautiful.
“Here we go,” Ethan said. He helped me sit on the swing, steadying it with one hand while I lowered my weight.
Then he dropped to his knees, just like Leo had, and pulled something small out of his pocket.
“Healer Tessa, my Angel, I offer this courting gift to state my intention to prove myself to you as your mate. Please accept it, and may it bring you the same happiness your presence brings to me.”
I took the gift, and hesitated. It was beautifully wrapped, in green and silver. I knew how to open it, thanks to Estelle. But I'd waited to open Leo's, so should I wait to open Ethan's? I was supposed to treat them equally, if I was understanding the rules correctly.
Ethan noticed my confusion. “You can open it now or later. And you don't have to accept my courtship or the gift right away.” He paused. “I'd actually like for you to open it, though. I want to make sure it's the right size, you see.”
“Oh.” So it was something to wear. Jewelry? That was a traditional courting gift.
I opened the package, and gasped. It wasn't jewelry. It was a dagger. The hilt was wrapped in black leather with a wolf's head carved in the pommel. Tiny golden jewels formed the wolf's eyes. The blade was sharp enough to cut the wind.
The knife came with a sheath, meant to be worn around my wrist and hidden by my sleeve. Ethan showed me how to lace it in place. It fit perfectly.
“I know you've had a rough time,” Ethan said, “and as you're a healer, I'm not sure how much of a fighter your wolf is. This way, you'll always have a way to defend yourself.” He stood up. “Mind you, as long as I'm at your side, you'll never need to lift a finger in a fight. I'll keep you safe. This is how I protect you when we're not together.”
I looked at the knife. It was elegant and deadly. Could I ever bring myself to use it?
I thought about my mother, fighting for her life and a pack that rejected her. I thought about how helpless I'd been when Eva dragged me into the secret passage. I thought about Sable.
Yes, I could use it.
“If you like,” Ethan said, “I could give you a few knife fighting lessons. As part of the gift, I mean.”
“I'd love that,” I said. “Thank you, Ethan. I accept your gift and your courtship.”
Ethan grinned, and wrapped me in a warm, sweet hug. I leaned into the embrace. It was perfect.
And yet it didn't stir my heart the way Leo's chaste kiss had. My pulse didn't speed up, my insides didn't melt. It was a nice hug, but nothing more. And my wolf remained silent.
I went to my mother that night, and told her about my courtships. I'd sent a letter to Leo, written with the fancy inks he'd given me, to accept his courtship as well. It felt strange, accepting both at the same time, but everyone assured me that that was how it was done.
“That's wonderful, Tess,” Mom said, giving me a hug. “Two fine alphas vying for your hand. You're so lucky!”
I nodded. “I know. But. I don't know what to do.”
“What do you mean?” Mom asked.
“Who do I choose? I care for them both, so much. Ethan has been there for me through all of this. He's amazing, and sweet, and kind. He makes me feel so safe.”
My mother nodded. “And Leo?”
“Leo's complicated. There's Sable, you know. And he's just as kind as Ethan. And when I look into his eyes it's like I forget how to breathe. But... he gave me up, on Eva's word. He never noticed how bad things were. And I did such awful things to him, too.” I wrapped my arms around my middle.
“I don't think there is an easy answer,” Mom said. “You care for them both, and they both care for you.”
I nodded. “And no matter who I choose, I'm going to hurt someone. I don't want to do that!”
“Tessa, they're big boys. Don't choose based on fear of hurting them, or being hurt. Choose based on what your heart tells you,” Mom said.
“But my heart's confused,” I whined.
“Trust yourself,” Mom advised, “And trust your wolf. She knows.”
“Accepting the gift is just accepting the courtship,” Ethan said, “It's not like you're choosing him as your mate forever. It just means you're giving him the chance to prove himself to you.”
“So, it wouldn't be like promising to pick him over you?” I asked.
“No, not at all. You can accept as many courtship gifts, and as many courtships, as you want,” Ethan explained. He tilted his head. “How do you not know these things? You grew up in a pack.”
I shrugged. “I was mostly raised by Mom. She knows some stuff, but courting and things weren't really explained to her. And no one explained anything to me, because I was just a servant, and half human. They figured no one would ever bother courting me.”
“Your pack is full of idiots,” Ethan declared. “Just so you know that. Anyway, accept Leo's gift. It's beautiful, and you deserve nice things. You also deserve to be courted properly, and if I'm being honest and fair, Leo deserves the chance to prove himself.”
“You really think so?” I asked.
Ethan nodded, wincing. “I hate to say it, because I'm really hoping you'll still pick me, but Leo's a catch. He's a good man. He'll treat you right.”
“He thinks he's my fated mate,” I said.
“And he might be,” Ethan said. “That is something only you, and your wolf, really knows.”
“I don't know if I believe in all that. I mean, my parents were fated, supposedly,” I pointed out.
“Eh, Arthur was an idiot. Any man who can look at your mother and pick that shrew Annette is clearly a fool,” Ethan said. “He put his ambitions over his good sense and his wolf. And see where it got him.”
It got him banished. He lost everything. What would happen to Leo, and to me, if I ignored my wolf's wishes? Would I become as bitter and unhappy as my father?
My wolf, naturally, offered no advice. She'd made her opinion known, and now she waited to see what I would choose.
“On the subject of accepting courtships,” Ethan said, “Tessa, would you take a walk with me? Please?”
“Oh, um, yes, sure.” I accepted Ethan's arm and let him lead me out of the manor and through the garden.
Ethan led me to a secluded bit of garden, a lovely little space next to the creek. There was a swing to sit on, soft moss underfoot, and a trellis supporting vines overhead to provide shade and shelter. It was beautiful.
“Here we go,” Ethan said. He helped me sit on the swing, steadying it with one hand while I lowered my weight.
Then he dropped to his knees, just like Leo had, and pulled something small out of his pocket.
“Healer Tessa, my Angel, I offer this courting gift to state my intention to prove myself to you as your mate. Please accept it, and may it bring you the same happiness your presence brings to me.”
I took the gift, and hesitated. It was beautifully wrapped, in green and silver. I knew how to open it, thanks to Estelle. But I'd waited to open Leo's, so should I wait to open Ethan's? I was supposed to treat them equally, if I was understanding the rules correctly.
Ethan noticed my confusion. “You can open it now or later. And you don't have to accept my courtship or the gift right away.” He paused. “I'd actually like for you to open it, though. I want to make sure it's the right size, you see.”
“Oh.” So it was something to wear. Jewelry? That was a traditional courting gift.
I opened the package, and gasped. It wasn't jewelry. It was a dagger. The hilt was wrapped in black leather with a wolf's head carved in the pommel. Tiny golden jewels formed the wolf's eyes. The blade was sharp enough to cut the wind.
The knife came with a sheath, meant to be worn around my wrist and hidden by my sleeve. Ethan showed me how to lace it in place. It fit perfectly.
“I know you've had a rough time,” Ethan said, “and as you're a healer, I'm not sure how much of a fighter your wolf is. This way, you'll always have a way to defend yourself.” He stood up. “Mind you, as long as I'm at your side, you'll never need to lift a finger in a fight. I'll keep you safe. This is how I protect you when we're not together.”
I looked at the knife. It was elegant and deadly. Could I ever bring myself to use it?
I thought about my mother, fighting for her life and a pack that rejected her. I thought about how helpless I'd been when Eva dragged me into the secret passage. I thought about Sable.
Yes, I could use it.
“If you like,” Ethan said, “I could give you a few knife fighting lessons. As part of the gift, I mean.”
“I'd love that,” I said. “Thank you, Ethan. I accept your gift and your courtship.”
Ethan grinned, and wrapped me in a warm, sweet hug. I leaned into the embrace. It was perfect.
And yet it didn't stir my heart the way Leo's chaste kiss had. My pulse didn't speed up, my insides didn't melt. It was a nice hug, but nothing more. And my wolf remained silent.
I went to my mother that night, and told her about my courtships. I'd sent a letter to Leo, written with the fancy inks he'd given me, to accept his courtship as well. It felt strange, accepting both at the same time, but everyone assured me that that was how it was done.
“That's wonderful, Tess,” Mom said, giving me a hug. “Two fine alphas vying for your hand. You're so lucky!”
I nodded. “I know. But. I don't know what to do.”
“What do you mean?” Mom asked.
“Who do I choose? I care for them both, so much. Ethan has been there for me through all of this. He's amazing, and sweet, and kind. He makes me feel so safe.”
My mother nodded. “And Leo?”
“Leo's complicated. There's Sable, you know. And he's just as kind as Ethan. And when I look into his eyes it's like I forget how to breathe. But... he gave me up, on Eva's word. He never noticed how bad things were. And I did such awful things to him, too.” I wrapped my arms around my middle.
“I don't think there is an easy answer,” Mom said. “You care for them both, and they both care for you.”
I nodded. “And no matter who I choose, I'm going to hurt someone. I don't want to do that!”
“Tessa, they're big boys. Don't choose based on fear of hurting them, or being hurt. Choose based on what your heart tells you,” Mom said.
“But my heart's confused,” I whined.
“Trust yourself,” Mom advised, “And trust your wolf. She knows.”
End of Surrogate for My Brother-in-law Chapter 78. Continue reading Chapter 79 or return to Surrogate for My Brother-in-law book page.