sworn to be yours - Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Khaotung clutched the ring in his palm remembering those promises. This is his nightly routine, for the past year he has stood alone in his penthouse in New York and gazed at the night view, but no matter how beautiful the view was, his eyes were clouded with memories. Three years have passed after his graduation, nothing remains the same. He had nothing to hold on to but the ring.
When they promised their forever to each other no one had thought it wouldn't even last two years. The day of Khaotung's graduation was the end of their forever. Khaotung’s parents were too busy to even attend his graduation ceremony but there was one more thing which he was quite expecting was his boyfriend's absence. He expected it, because in past years First got busier as he started to work at Khaotung's parents architecture firm.
Khaotung was never against the idea of First joining his parents, instead he was happy but at the same time khao didn't know why first was trying so hard, it's not like he graduated or something. First juggling through studies and work took a negative troll on their relationship. Khaotung tried to understand but for him their relationship was just like a long distance one without any communications.
To amend things Khaotung once planned a trip for their week long vacation but everything went in vain when First forgot everything and went to their hometown to assist in some new project. No matter what Khaotung tried, it felt like he was playing a lost battle.
Khaotung's graduation day at night First visited khao's flat with a big bouquet of flowers. Khaotung opened the door but he kept silent. First looked happy congratulating his boyfriend. After everything khaotung has made his mind but First never fails to amuse him. In two years for the first time Mr.Kanaphan Puitrakul asked khaotung on a date but khaotung was done.
Khaotung asked for a break which left First in shock. First tried to reason with khaotung but it was of no use. He practically begged khaotung to stay and listen to what he had to say but khaotung was determined. He aggressively shook off First's hands from his own and pushed the other on the floor. First was crying as if he was dying inside but he went numb like a corpse when khaotung said.
“I can understand if you want to top your studies but why are you trying so hard when you are going to work at my parents anyway? Even if you fail your exams he will let you inherit it all…”
Khaotung did say more than that but first was stuck at that sentence. After few minutes khaotung went and grabbed his suitcase and was about to leave First asked him “is that what you think of me? You know I don't need your parents money to live, right? And let me tell you, choosing them was the hardest decision but still I choose to work at theirs because they are my parents too…” Khaotung didn't say much, he just left. Slamming the door.
Bang!!!!
Beep… beep…
Khaotung reached the side table and turned off his alarm. Today he had an early flight to catch. He went to freshen up. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror he said to himself “are you doing this to keep your promise of forever? or to get revenge? Now I'm starting to forget our good times together as I keep dreaming of our breakup every night…”
That night khaotung went straight to NewYork and since then he hasn't contacted First. Although he kept stalking First on social media, but First never updated a single thing ever since their breakup. As soon as khaotung reached NewYork he bought all the alcohol he could and went to the penthouse owned by his family. After five days he turned on his phone and there were a lot of calls and messages from everyone.
As he scrolled he accidentally opened the voice note sent by first. In it he was begging khaotung to stay and hear out what he has to say… that was sended on the day of their breakup but that was it. He didn't try to contact him after that. As if letting khaotung go was easy for First. Khaotung didn't know whom to call so he eventually called Mew. Mew was worried about khaotung so he enquired whether he was safe or not eaten or not he didn't ask anything about their breakup nor about first.
But he asked khaotung to come back, to which khaotung answered he wasn't ready. But when Mew showed his genuine concern, Khaotung couldn't help but cry. After their breakup as soon as khaotung reached NewYork he covered himself in alcohol and sorrow but that was the first time when he actually cried. That call lasted for 40 min majority of which was khaotung cried and Mew just stayed in line.
As time went by khaotung contacted others too, to his surprise even First's parents contacted him but no one ever asked about their breakup nor did anyone mention First. And Khaotung didn't have the courage to ask about First either. But he always wondered if First feels the same? Does First ask about him? or was everything easy for First?
Other than First there were two more people who didn't talk to khaotung at all in the past three years, which is his own father and brother. Khaotung tried to contact Gulf and one time Gulf even answered his phone but didn't speak much but after hearing what khaotung had to say he replied in two sentences “you need therapy. I will find you a doctor.”
It wasn't a joke nor was it a taunt but Gulf actually meant what he said. And he did so too, Khaotung was hesitant but as time went by he realized he was alone in the crowd and he reached out to the doctor. All these past year's khaotung could only sleep with the help of alcohol or pills but after continues therapy now it got a lot better than before. But still every night he was accompanied by the same memories of his breakup, First's crying and begging.
Sometimes khaotung wonders what would have happened if First tried to stop him from leaving? What if First followed him to the airport? But that was all his wondering; in other words those were his longings for First. Looking back, first love is always the sweetest, but too much of sweetness can kill a person because it becomes poisonous. With a lot of what if's Khaotung's flight landed in Thailand.