TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 101: Chapter 101

: FIRST DAY
The rest of the day goes smoothly, and I finally let myself relax and expose myself to the therapy of shopping.
I must admit... it actually does work.
The week that follows rolls by, quicker than I want, but I don't hate it too much.
A part of me desperately wants to fall into some kind of routine that can keep my mind active.
I mostly sleep and lay in bed, staring at my phone.
Not once did Silas call or text, but I assume he's too busy with work... I mean, he did say he had lots of things to do.
I assume closing the investigation concerning my whereabouts would take some time.
Plus, I also wasn't ready. So, it went on like that till the first day of school resumption.
First day of school...
Darn.
If only I could feel as excited as I was on the very first day I set foot on school premises...
But no, I'm terrified and anxious.
Somewhere along the lines of being kidnapped and tortured my crush's father, aided by my best friend's ' on and off' boyfriend, I lost my social skills and the joys of being a student.
All that shit that made me so willing to risk heaven and earth to come to this place.
Now, I wish I'd come down with some ancient sickness and I wouldn't come to school on the first day.
But I know myself.
Even if I did, I'd still drag myself to school, because I had a strong sense of duty and obligation to myself that pushes me to be a badass even without the spine to do that.
So peachy, right?
I stand right infront of the full length mirror in our room, looking at myself. My hair is a lot shorter; Xena gave me a much needed trim to get the ends at the same length, and it looks cute.
For some reason, my top looks worn improperly.
Just as I adjust the black mini skirt and black long sleeved top I'm wearing for the 100th time, Xena jumps out from behind me.
Short skirt because, most of the bruises on my legs are gone and the rest unidentifiable, unless you take a look up close.
I'm startled but I don't jump like usual. Xena's unannounced moments like this had been like training for me.
"You look gorgeous." She says, assessing me like one of her projects.
"Really? I can't see it." I say dryly, trying to get it to look less awkward.
She sighs, swatting my hands away and adjusting it perfectly. Just like that, I look like a human being again.
"I know you lost your fashion sense in that place but please, don't take it out on the clothes. And yes, you look gorgeous. y
You're just self-hating right now, it's a phase that will pass." She points out.
I know she's right about that, but I can't help but feel impatient.
I want to go back to my confident self again. I don't think I can successfully navigate a school full of giant powerful wolves with my most vital weapon broken.
"So... are you excited?"
"Excited for what? School? Maybe once a long time ago, but not right now. I just wish I could let myself be lazy."
Curse my good attitude towards school and my unending thirst for knowledge.
"No, no. Definitely not that." She corrects me, sitting on my bed.
With a raised brow, I turn to her, finally seeing the mischievous smirk playing at her lips
"What?"
She rolls her eyes now, already fed up with the guessing game she initiated.
"I'm talking about Silas... you're going to see him today."
"Oh... I had forgotten about that."
Lies.
It had kept me up all night, making fake scenarios where we would me again. Most of them ending with me running away, or him realizing how uncool I am and ditching me.
"Freya, I know you're nervous and all, probably second guessing yourself and making fake scenarios where he leaves you high and dry."
I gasp.
"Can you read minds?"
"I know you too well. What I'm trying to say is, that's not going to happen. He likes you, and you know it."
I sigh.
She's right, he does just like I do.
"But that's not the point... I don't think I'm ready for a relationship now, Xena."
She does a double take, staring at me harder than earlier when the top had been worn wrongly.
"Why?"
"He's probably going to want to label what we are, especially now that he's back from his tasks. He's going to want to be serious, but I don't know if I can."
I explain.
"Well, of course, and you like him."
"I do, but it's complicated... he looks like his father.
He looks like that man who tortured me. Sometimes, it doesn't matter but sometimes, it does. My trauma could ruin things before they can take off and then, he's going to hate me."
"No way, Freya... he isn't." That deep frown of worry crosses her face again.
I've seen that look a lot this past week
"How are you so sure he isn't? Even if he does, will I be able to take things further?" I push again.
The fear that just won't go away bubbles up within me again as I begin pacing round.
Xenq stands up from the bed and hugs me instantly, stopping the pacing and my racing heart.
She hugs me.
"I know it's hard to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel right now, but I promise everything is going to work out fine. He likes you, Silas isn't the kind of guy to hate you because of that."
She pulls away from the hug to look down at me with an encouraging smile.
"When you get the confidence to face him, talk to him about it. You don't have to jump into a relationship right now, you can go as slowly as possible. There's no rush."
I don't know how those few words are able to calm me but they do, like magic.
"Thank you, Xena..."
"Anything for you."
We hug again for a few more minutes. I take my time, soaking up all that love and use it as fortification till my legs feel less wobbly and more stronger before we pull apart.
"You ready for first day of school?" She asks me again.
This time, I take one last glance at the mirror. I look a lot better in my eyes again. Still skinny, but not so bad, so I turn to her and nod. "Let's do this."
Once we step into school premises, the hallways are a lot more busy than a normal school days, and my chatty.
Pro ly students recalling the minor adventures they had been in, or gushing over a new outfit and new relationships.
Just being typical teenager.
I for one can't help but avert my eyes and hunch my shoulders, a way of making myself less noticeable.
I know it doesn't work of course because few eyes follow me as I walk.
I recall Xena giving me the full details on Silas and
Elena's break up.
Apparently, it had been tragic and the gossip had gone sufficiently round before most people had gone home, so it was still kind of a hot topic.
The dethronement of Elena Crescent.
Basically, everyone is expecting Silas and I to get together now that she's out of the picture. Just more pressure.
It doesn't help knowing that Xena will have to leave me to be by myself soon enough. My anxiousness grows as we go deeper into the crowd, and I'm just about to abort mission and skip the first day of school till I spot Adam, waiting just by my locker.
"Hey, guys." He greets Xena and I, waving. I smile instantly, feeling relief when I see another familiar face - best part is most of our classes are the same.
Yes, that's right.
Just before school started, I got a notice that I would be returning back to my original classes. Whatever Silas did worked like a charm. "Adam... I need to get something from my locker.
Could you be with Freya for the mean time?" Xena says as soon as she sees him.
"I'm perfectly fine on my own." I say.
Another lie.
I'm terrified.
"It would be my pleasure." He responds while looking at me intensely.
Since I got back, he's been doing this thing where he stares so intensely into my eyes while saying the sweetest of things.
Sometimes, I feel touched by it... Other times, I get the feeling like there's something more to it that I'm not getting quite yet.
Xena nods, leaving without a second thought and I turn to him again.
"Hey... you ready for school?" I ask.
He groans painfully just as I open my locker and start taking out text books.
"Ugh... no. I have half the mind to ditch the entire day and just playing video games in the library."
"No way, I don't want to go through the entire day alone." I whine, slamming my locker shut. "Relax, I want to ditch and play video games but I won't. Like I said, you're my priority."
I smile widely while he looks away like a shy boy.
"You're so sweet when you want to be."
"I am sweet... Besides, you won't be alone... You're going to be with Silas."
The octave of his voice goes low when the name rolls out of his mouth.
I freeze again and my mood just turns sour, just like that.
That's right. I still had that awkward conversation to have with him.
How do you tell your crush they trigger your panic attacks without sounding like you want nothing to do with them?
"You okay?" Adam asks just as he notices the visible slumping of my shoulders.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I plaster on a brave smile again. It's going to be fine, just like Xena said. "Uhm... by the way, you l-look really pretty." Adam says while looking the other way again.
He rubs the back of his neck and I can see the rose tint on the edge of his ears.
I chuckle at how cute he's being and trying so hard to keep me in a good mood, just like Xena does.
I'm so grateful to have friends like them that worry endlessly and want to see me happy always.
"Thank you." I say, really meaning it. The school bell rings suddenly. I turn around to start walking to class, with Adam right behind me before I bump into someone and my books come crashing to the floor.
Adam pulls me up before I can stagger, so I can lean fully on his body.
"You okay?" He asks quickly, looking at me all over. "I'm fine... just ran into-"
It's now I look up to the person infront and begin to shiver just like that. It's been a whole week since I had last seen him and he had been covered in blood.
"Lucas?"
"Hey, Freya."