TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 105: Chapter 105

: PITY
FREYA'S POV:
My eyes are red and puffy from all the continuous crying, and I hate it.
I mean, this is the most I've let myself cry in a day and all over a boy. Well, it's not just any boy, it's Silas Bloodmoon - Alpha prince and the first guy I've ever really liked and let myself get so close to.
He was my freaking first time, meaning he holds enough significance in my life.
And compared to all that, maybe I was just a little speck of dust he had encountered. Just one of the many girls he had gone through in high school before ending up with his betrothed.
Sighing, I close the little pocket mirror in my hand and look around at the perfect greenery around me.
I'm sitting in one of the many school gardens during a random free period, tending to my swollen eyes and shattered heart.
The scenes with Silas ignoring me and Elena just being a major bitch, rubbing her slutty self all over him, keeps playing over and over in my head.
And with every replay, my heart crumbles even more.
I've made a million excuses now, the most plausible being that he most likely hit his head somewhere and got amnesia, forgetting the past few months we shared together and our dynamic.
But no, if he had indeed forgotten me, he would have looked me in the eye the way he did before looking away.
He hadn't even had the decency to tell me to leave on his own.
Fuck...
Another wave of water works threaten to hit but I take a deep breath in, swallowing the knot in my neck back down.
No, Freya. We are not crying over him again...
At least not today.
I check my wrist watch again, looking at the time.
Adam is ten minutes late.
For some reason, he had texted to meet here during the shared free period we had. It sounded desperate and yet, he was the late one but I'm not mad, just exhausted...
The only reason I'm here is because I owe him a lot for being so patient with me, especially today. I must have been a major nuisance ruining his first day.
He could have been picking up girls like he used to with all his pick-up lines yet, he had stayed with me for the majority of the time.
I hear footsteps approaching just when they are close enough and turn back, expecting Adam.
But staring back at me is Silas.
I freeze, not expecting to see him again.
I'm surprised by the sight of him while the wind picks up, suddenly tossing my hair all over the place. Amidst that, I can see his silky hair get tousled with the wind while his expression remains stoic and cold. He stands there, looking at me like I'm some stranger he has never held hands with.
I immediately understand what's going on.
He shifts closer, seeing as I'm not saying anything and drops onto the bench I'm on, but with a good distance between us.
While he sits, looking the other way, my heart can't help but beat so erratically. Despite it being bruised and battered, he still affects it so much.
Regardless of the array of emotions swirling within me, I still want to cuddle into his neck and take a big inhale of his scent till my wolf calms down and all this anxiety melts away.
"Adam said you wanted to talk." He begins in a cold uninterested voice.
Ah... this situation feels like I had coerced his friend into forcing him to be here.
Nevertheless, I am grateful to Adam.
I'm speechless at first, not knowing how to handle this new Silas. I realize I'm so used to the version of him that's terribly annoying and always trying to kiss me every chance he gets.
Just how much have I taken advantage and never truly appreciated the warm feeling of his soft gaze on me.
"You look well." I say in a mutter.
I don't even know how to start this.
He makes some grumbling noise in his throat and says nothing else. Suddenly, I'm nervous and scared but I hold myself together.
"I see you're back with Elena."
"Yeah, I am." He grumbles the answer, still avoiding my eyes.
I can see his left leg bouncing in place as he fidgets, almost as though he wants so desperately to get away.
"You two didn't look so friendly." I comment, watching the movement of his leg.
"Friendship is not important in our dynamic. Once we are mated, however, I won't want any woman besides her." He says coldly again.
I bet he doesn't know how much those words sting.
He doesn't even bother to be a bit remorseful, instead his cold words are sharp and hurtful.
"I thought you had abandoned that plan." I say, forcing a bitter smile he still refuses to look at.
Maybe he's running away from the crushing guilt that he can't possibly look me in the face. "You thought wrong. I never abandoned anything. Elena has always been my Luna."
I bite my low lips, sniffling. The tears threaten to pour again and I try so hard to keep them at bay.
The painful truth I wanted to avoid being spat in my face.
Of course, I knew who she was and yet, still chose to let the feelings in my heart grow into something bigger.
I had told myself not to care about that, and that they would be some sort of place for me somewhere in his world.
I guess this is a reward for wanting more, wanting something that was never mine - this searing heart ache that shakes my entire existence.
"What about me?" I ask the pathetic question softly.
The question itself carries the last shreds of hope.
I guess I'm still sort of hopeful. I want to believe in the Silas that successfully stole my heart skillfully, with his arrogance and narcissism.
He scoffs now.
"Freya, what did you think? That I would leave my betrothed to be with you? From the moment you set feet into this school, you already knew - rumors for sure were going around. My eyes may wonder, but I will always return to Elena." He gives his excuse without a shaking breath.
How he's able to stab me continuously without batting an eyelash shocks me even more. "So, I was just a passing fancy?"
"I admit, I did have a crush on you at some point....
but now, it's time to face my duties." He gives his excuses.
Excuses that do not fit the Silas I know, excuses I refuse to take blindly.
My sadness morphs to anger. For some reason, he sees me as some sort of bumbling fool now that I am emotional and shattered.
Silas never believed in duties, and abhorred them. He was free-minded, even in his shortcomings and now, he talks about them like he's ever for a second considered them.
"Duties? I don't believe that for a second. Tell me the truth. You said you struck a deal with your father, is this it? Is he forcing you to stay away from me to keep me out of prison?"
I break out in hysteria, angry and hurt, yelling my heart out as tears stain my vision for the third time.
I said I wouldn't cry, but it hurts so much.
"Freya..."
"You can't let your father manipulate you into doing his biddings, his requests are never going to end. He's going to keep using you until there's not a single piece of joyful thing left in your life!"
"Freya!" His voice roars like the clapping of thunder, forcing me to shut up.
It's faint, but he uses his aura to shut me up for the first time.
He has never yelled at me so deviously, or forced me to close my lips - not even on the first day we met.
And yet now, he throws his status as Alpha prince at me so easily.
I'm too shocked to speak again or argue. The flickering flames of my resolve dies instantly.
"The world doesn't revolve around you. The decisions
I make aren't about you. I have simply grown tired of you and decided to focus on important things - nothing more, nothing less. Do not make me regret the pity I offered you."
"Pity?" The word shoots another bullet in me.
"Yes, pity. The reason why you're not locked up right now."
If this is a lie, it's a well thought out one because even
I cannot come up with enough excuses for each hurtful thing he shoots at me so boldly. I cannot help but believe him though I desperately do not want to believe a single word he says. He's finally succeeded in making me believe that just maybe the Silas I knew doesn't exist anymore. "Have I satisfied your curiosity? Do you finally have your closure?" He asks after a long pause from the both of us.
His voice sounds low and tired. He probably wants to escape me as quickly as possible.
"Yes." I barely whisper.
He remains still for a few seconds. The tapping of his feet heavily increased since he had sat down. For a moment, just very briefly, I wonder if he's waiting to take it all away - the words he had said - but that wonder fizzles out like my hope once he gets on his feet and walks away.