TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 108: Chapter 108

: LIKE US
FREYA'S POV:
After Adam's confession, I had remained mostly speechless as life continued to spin way out of the course I had imagined.
I still am speechless in that aspect, unable to give him an answer. I know for a fact that I don't reciprocate his feelings, however.
I'm still heavily infatuated with Silas, though that's not going on very well, and I still have no plans of being in a relationship... but he's a very good friend.
He has stuck by during the bad times and is okay with me still having feelings for Silas, and just wanting to be around me while I heal. He wants to be seen as an option if ever one is needed.
But I don't think I can ever see him as anything other than that, and my biggest fear is him realizing that and just giving up on me.
I have already lost enough from the little I had... I didn't want to lose anymore. I wanted some sort of win... and I guess him sticking around would do us both good.
Right?
Yet, I can't swallow the guilt that rises up in my throat every single time our eyes meet.
Even now while I stand in the busy hallway, the bell having just rang a second ago, and our eyes meet, I freeze quickly and is nervously torn between ducking away, but shit, he's already seen me.
"Hey." He says once he's reached me after jogging up.
I force a wide smile that only makes me feel more and more like a deceitful imposter.
"Hey, Adam." My voice comes out unnaturally highpitched.
I silently pray he doesn't notice just how nervous I am.
"We share the next class, right?" He asks elatedly. Luckily, he hasn't noticed.
"That we do." I chuckle awkwardly while my cheeks throb from the forced tension.
I am unable to stop the painful laughter dropping both hands on my hips and vibrating my chest. The smile on his face slowly falls to a frown and then, a puzzled look replaces it.
"Freya."
"What?"
He places both hands on my cheeks, rubbing on the muscles being strained in the smile.
Recently, he crosses my personal space without reluctance, touching my arm or face without a second thought. It's a new occurrence I haven't quite gotten used to, so I recoil unintentionally from the sudden skin contact.
It only takes a second to realize what I've done and look up to him and the blank expression on his face.
"I'm so sorry, Adam, I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine, Freya." He sighs again, returning both hands in his pocket.
"Really, Adam... it was sudden. You can touch them again and I won't move away."
In a desperate attempt to right my wrong and prove that I really don't find him disgusting, I take both his hands and press them against my face, pouting up at him.
"See... I really don't mind."
He smiles sadly, sliding his hands away from my hold and giving both cheeks a little playful pinch before he tucks them back into his pockets.
"I don't want things to be awkward between us because I confessed to you two days ago." He says with the sad smile that never falls.
I feel instant guilt, hating myself for being unable to act natural. Then again, I had no idea how to act...
He's the first guy to confess to me like that.
"Things aren't awkward."
"A second ago you were chuckling really weirdly. It sounded very rehearsed and awkward."
"It was a hearty chuckle."
"You were smiling like the Grinch."
"I was..." I try to defend but he cuts in.
"Don't give excuses, I can read right through you,
Freya."
I want to argue further again but I exhale, finally giving up. He's right, there's no point trying to avoid what it is.
"I don't want to put pressure on you. Treat me how you've always done." He says finally.
"I don't feel comfortable doing that to you, Adam... You're a very good friend." I interject with his suggestion.
Acting like he hadn't poured his heart out to me would be even more selfish than being awkward when we were together, right?
I notice the flash of hurt in his eyes as I mention the word 'friend.'
Shit, I'm not supposed to say that to someone that wants to be seen as anything but that.
"Uhm... I mean..."
"Hey, it's fine. Let's just not focus on that, okay? I'm still just Adam."
I nod, feeling a bit of relief. My stiff shoulders finally relax and tension between us diffuses.
Just then, my eyes are pulled to the scene unfolding just behind Adam. The sudden appearance of Silas catches my eyes quickly, just like always. He had always stood out in a crowd of students and now, he's with Elena again.
He leans just down to her level as she whispers something in his ears while caressing his chest.
There's a small smirk playing at her lips,
My chest suddenly hurts like hell as though I've been stabbed.
My wolf groans from the pain we both share, whining at the sight of Silas with her, begging me to walk over there and rip them apart.
But I have too much self-respect to do that. I turn away quickly before they realize I've spotted them. Luckily, the direction of class is the other way.
"You okay?" Adam asks, noticing the frown that takes over my forehead
"Yeah... Let's go before we are late." I say, pulling him in the other direction before he can ask further questions.
SILAS' POV:
I'm late to school for the third time in a row.
I can't focus as I used to before and getting up from bed after barely getting a single wink of sleep gets more and more unbearable every passing day. The tiredness from deep within my chest weighs even more.
Two periods gone, and I walk right into school without a care.
Worst case scenario is my recent conduct would be reported to my father and he'd have some new leverage over me... but nothing would be worse than every single excruciating second I have to live with myself.
I want it to end...
I want to rip my heart out and burn it into coal, and feel nothing, I want to be an empty shell that cannot be shaken by anything and then, I wonder what poor father would have over me then.
"Silas!"
I sigh at the sound of her voice again. "Silas, wait up." Elena yells from behind me.
"What is it?" I stop, turning to her and snap coldly, growling.
My temper and that of my wolf is more volatile than ever.
A few people around feel the threatening dominance oozing out of me against my control and give way too quickly before I even approach them. Fear gleams strongly in their eyes. "I'm not in the mood, Elena." I say in a much calmer tone.
"Yeah... I can see that." I see just a glimpse of the inspired fear in her eyes before she conceals it with a smile again. "What do you want?"
"Well, I helped you write down notes for the first few classes you missed and assignments as well, so your grades don't have to suffer from your recent moods." I'm surprised just a bit by her thoughtfulness. Usually, she begins each day nagging at me to do shit to and for her constantly, building the outlook of a perfect relationship for her social stance.
Now... she's actually being considerate and sort of nice? 1
"Uhh, thank you?"
"We share the next class, so just incase you can't focus, I'm here to help." She says with a surprisingly warm smile.
I take just a step back to really look at her, just to be sure it's Elena.
"I'm sorry, who are you again?" I ask.
She blushes like a shy sweet innocent girl, tucking a hair behind her ear.
"I'm trying to change to be different for us. Even if we can't both be in love, there can be a sort of friendship." I don't know what to say about this new offer. She keeps acting nothing like the Elena I'm used to, messing with my head when I want to be cruel to her.
But I see through her façade.. Something smells fishy. "Okay..." I respond, and she immediately grows elated, grabbing onto my arm as we walk to class.
The skin contact feels irritable but I ignore the feeling, forcing myself to atleast give her the benefit of doubt, or maybe I'm too tired to bother to care right now.
Suddenly, my wolf begins scratching on my walls and howling desperately. Things he does incessantly every single time he knows that Freya is close by. Once I turn to the left and spot her with Adam, my heart sinks.
He touches her cheek with his filthy hands that sets my blood on fire and just as he pulls away, she takes them back onto her cheeks and from the looks of it in my direction, her eyes seem desperate to be touched by him.
I'm speechless and my legs feel weak suddenly. I'm torn between walking over there and ripping him away from her.
My wolf wants that so badly, pushing against my walls to take over... and then, there's me that feels a heart-shattering pain in my chest from watching them.
I look away immediately before I lose control of myself and do something that would only make Freya hate me more.
I feel more irritable than seconds ago and Elena just being next to me puts me off into an even worse mood, remembering everything she stands for in my life.
I try to shrug her off but she's like a persistent bug uck to my shoulde
"Oh... I see you've seen them... Freya and Adam." She says once her eyes fall on them as well. "What about them?"
"I just heard rumors... They say they're mostly together these days. Some suspect they're dating, and it's only been how long since you were with her? A week? Two?"
I growl at whatever she was insinuating. Even if she had moved on, I was okay as long as she was happy. Right?
"Worst part about this is that it's with your other best friend, Adam. How many friends have you lost now?"
"Elena, don't push it." I warn her just as my mood sets to an even worse state.
"C'mon, I'm just asking..." She laughs playfully, but I know it's not a joke just as much as she knows it. My blank stare forces her to stop, however, and get serious again.
"You need to come to an understanding, Silas... People like them will never be loyal to people like us." "What are you trying to say?" She pulls at my collar, forcing me to lean closer to her. Her free hand resting on my chest while she whispers in my ear.
"I'm saying, Freya...Adam...Lucas... Everyone else... It's hard for them to really understand the kind of people we are... I mean, at first, they'd try but eventually, they would either betray or move on far too quickly." She starts spouting her nonsense again, talking like some psycho, using the word 'us' to pair us together.
This time, I shrug her hand off and look at her directly.
"I would never do that to you, Silas, because I understand you like no one else. Only I genuinely love you." She says it with this weird sparkle, like it's such a good thing to understand and be an outcast. And yet, I don't know if it's pity or after-effects from my lack of sleep but I feel some kind of kinship with her.
I really am losing it.
"Enough." I say, walking ahead now, realizing they aren't there anymore. "We're going to be late for class. Let's go."