TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 120: Chapter 120

: ONLY FRIEND
FREYA'S POV:
My entire day was filled with peering eyes boring holes into me - some with judgment, most with confusion. After all, why would anyone turn down the literal prince of Alphas, especially when he makes such a grand display of affection in front of everyone?
If they had gone through half of the traumatic events I had; bullied by his 'maybe' girlfriend, kidnapped by his father, manipulated by him and his entire group of friends, then maybe they would understand why there's nothing Silas Bloodmoon will ever do that would make me forgive him.
With the frustration of everything and everyone, I stomp right back to my dorm room, the only place where I could have some sort of peace and quiet.
The first thing I notice, however, once the door is pushed open is the lack of light. No rays of sunlight seeping through like it usually does. The lights are turned off as well.
I think maybe someone broke in while I walked in cautiously, then I remembered that I have a runaway roommate and maybe, she's finally back.
I hear muffled sniffling and sobbing coming from her side of the room.
"Xena?"
I look over to her bed and notice the obvious lump under her duvet that occasionally moves with just a bit of light shining from underneath.
Once I call her name, the sobbing seizes and she freezes suddenly.
I take a step closer to her and stop myself before I can get too close.
What exactly do I plan on doing?
After our last fight, I don't think I had the right to offer her comfort, or try to console her. She had left the room because of my outburst and maybe, I'm also the reason she's crying.
Guilt cripples me.
I slowly pull my hands back to my side, feeling stupid and thinking maybe I should mind my business.
Till she calls my name in the most strangled and upset voice I've ever heard from her.
"Freya? Is that you?"
All caution and fear is immediately thrown to the wind.
I rush up to her bed and pull off the heavy duvet from her, revealing a teary-eyed Xena with messy bed hair and swollen eyes.
She looks the worst I've ever seen her and then, that smell...
"Where the hell have you been, Xena?" I uncontrollably raise my voice.
I can't control the emotions welling up from within me, just from seeing her. The once well-composed, jovial, bright and fashionable Xena looks like she's been run over by a garbage truck.
"Freya..." She looks up at me, rubbing her eyes that suddenly tear up even more.
She grabs onto me suddenly in a bone crushing hug, quickly balling her eyes out while she does this.
I'm taken by surprise.
I had expected coldness and avoidance like the first time we had argued but instead, she's hugging me and crying on my shoulders.
I pat her back gently while she lets out the waterworks. I'm immediately consumed by my guilt now.
I shouldn't have spoken that way to her when she had never given me a reason to doubt her.
"Hey... it's okay." I say softly. "I'm sorry for everything I said two days ago. You don't have to leave the room for days... if anyone should leave, it should be me." I say.
It had been her room first, and I was the one unable to hold my tongue.
She pulls away slowly, finally calming down a bit and rubbing her eyes. I give her a moment to get through her sobs, so she can say whatever she needs to say
"No, no, Freya... you had every right to doubt our friendship when you did." She says, rubbing her eyes for the last time before sitting up straight and finally looking me in the eye.
"I should have pushed further to know what he was hiding because I knew he was hiding something, but I didn't want to know. I should have doubted him even more than Silas did back then, but I didn't." She adds.
From the way she speaks and looks at me, I know there's something up.
Something she's found out.
"Did he tell you?" I blurt out
She takes a while before hanging her head low, avoiding eye contact. Her sniffling resumes again and I assume the tears return.
"I'm so sorry..." She begins weeping again. "I'm so sorry. Out of everyone, I should have known he... he did that to you. I should have found out when no one else did." She starts blaming herself and crying again.
"Xena... it's okay. He deceived everyone, and he took advantage of how much you believed in him to deceive you too."
"Even if... I suspected he knew something but I let my emotions cloud my judgment, and I just let him go." She presses further.
I don't know what to say. I see her crying horribly, I hear the pain and anguish in her voice and I feel crushed. My days have been nothing but sadness, and I never wanted to rub it off on Xena.
I feel bad for pushing her to get answers, even if she needed to know the truth.
I take her hands in mine amidst her crying and she stops. She looks up at me slowly with dripping eyes and a wet nose, and I smile.
"It's okay, Xena. I'm not mad at you and trust me, it's not your fault. I know what feelings and emotions can do to you."
"Yeah... I heard about the bet as well. Sorry about that too." She says.
"You don't owe me an apology. They do, all of them, so it's fine. Please, stop crying."
She remains quiet, saying nothing else so I opt to lighten the mood.
"Where have you been? Where did you sleep, and when was the last time you had a bath?"
She grumbles now while I joke about how bad she smells by holding my nose shut with two fingers. "Well, I've been hiding out in the janitor's closet for a while... There's no bathroom there, so no, I haven't showered as well." She explains while pouting.
I can't help chuckling while imagining Xena hiding away in the janitor's closet, sleeping next to the mops and all that.
"But wait... why did you sleep there? Why did you hide away for so long? I mean, I know I was mad and all, but you didn't need to go to that extent." I ask, wondering out loud in the process.
It all seemed pretty excessive to avoid the silent treatment.
She shifts her eyes away again and I can see tears welling up within them. I instantly know that there's something more to all this.
"Xena..." I take hold of her arm and tug gently." C'mon, tell me what it is that really made you hide away." She reluctantly looks away, blinking her wet eyes till the tears slide down her cheek while her lips quiver.
It takes a while of silence while I watch her struggle with wanting to reveal it or not, before she finally looks at me again.
"Lucas is my mate."
It takes a lot from me to maintain my very blank facial expression that stares back to her while everything inside me explodes in confusion and turmoil, while internally screaming the big fucking question.
WHAT! Physically, however, I blink my eyes, telling myself I've heard her wrongly.
"I'm sorry... what?"
She bits her lower lip, holding her emotions back.
"He's my mate, Freya. I found out that day after you left. I called him to talk. We were arguing until the rain stopped and it got so heated. I said I hated him and suddenly, I felt this pain in my chest and he felt it too. When it had subsided, I felt it in my wolf... begging me not to hate him and she whispered the words to me 'mate' and I knew, and he knew as well."
I'm dumbfounded while I suddenly begin hyperventilating, realizing it's really happening.
I look away from her, calming myself, letting the information sink in properly.
"That's not possible. You're already 18 and you've been around each other enough times since then." "I thought that too, but there are cases where the mate bond lags in forming for a while before it does, but it rarely happens, so it's not heard of as often. I felt it, Freya... Our emotions suddenly linked up."
I shake my head, breathing faster. I should be rejoicing that she's found her destined mate but I can't even figure out what emotion to feel right now.
"Freya... Do you hate me?"
"What?"
"Do you hate me now that my mate is the person who hurt you the most?"
I suddenly realize the reason why she had hid. She had been concerned about how I'd feel, so much that instead of her happiness, she had been scared and hidden from me because she thought I would hate her.
I pull her into a hug while she bawls her eyes out, suddenly whispering softly to her.
"No, Xena, never. Even if you're mated to the devil,
I'd never hate you." I coo, patting her back. She hugs me back, suddenly wailing out and crying to her heart's content in my hands. I feel and hear her pain and confusion, and I simply let her feel what she needs to feel while just being there for her. My best friend.
My only friend.
After almost an hour of crying, she had finally tired herself out and is now finally fast asleep.
I cover her carefully with the blanket, dropping a soft kiss on her head as I watch her sleep.
I feel bad that she had gone through so much self- doubt because of me, but I'm mostly happy that she had let it all out.
I still don't know how to feel about her being mated to Lucas...
If it had been before the kidnapping, I would have been ecstatic for her... but now, it feels weird - her being with him.
I can't ask her to reject him just because of what he had done to me. That would be unfair to her.
Finding a life mate is a once in a life kind of thing, and I wanted the best for her.
And I know what follows after one finds their mate.
The call to be fully bonded to the other and after that, they'd be glued by the hip. I don't know what would happen to our relationship once she's glued to Lucas' side for life.
I slowly walk over to her dresser, pulling out the hand mirror she always drops there to touch up on her makeup.
I ignore the tear that slides down my cheek from all these depressing thoughts that constantly fill my mind.
I raise the clear reflective surface up to my face, not needing to say a word. I know he's constantly watching.
After a second, dark smoke begins to twirl within before it morphs into his figure and his purple eyes stare back at me, knowing why I had summoned him without asking.
"Have you thought about it?" He asks
I look back at Xena's sleeping form.
Amidst all this chaos, she had found her mate. Someone to hold her close so she would never be alone, and I know he really cared for her. Silas would also soon find that for himself too, with someone crazy enough for him. Adam... he would be fine.
I am alone in all this; from day one, I had always been alone.
The very reason I had sought out the wizard would be the same reason I would give in to his one and only request.
I have to look out for myself.
I look back into the mirror, sighing deeply.
"I'm in."