TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 132: Chapter 132

: MATE!
FREYA'S POV:
I freeze on the spot like I've been caught red handed, but I'm sure it hasn't struck midnight yet.
I at least have a few more minutes to say what I need to before the spell wears off, so what does he have to say to me?
"Silas..." I begin, trying to explain myself but stop midway, feeling a ball of anxiety clog my throat and tears threaten to seep from my eyes.
Darn, why is this so hard?
I take a step back, looking away while catching my breath.
Why can't I do this?
Why is it so fucking hard?
"Freya?" He steps closer to me? looking worried and all.
I give up like the coward I am, unable to force myself to say what I need to say. The way he watches me so earnestly with genuine worry makes the guilt in my chest bubble and block every word that I want to say.
I know it's just another excuse that I'm unconsciously making up to stall though, but what can I do?
I force a smile to put him at ease.
"Why don't you go first?"
Yet again, I'm stalling up till the very moment when my chance would be non-existent, but I can't bear to break his heart right now, when he looks so happy, when we are happy.
He watches me for a moment still.
"You know you can tell me anything, right? I'll always listen to you." He says, stroking the hair the wind blows onto my face away.
I nod my head, slowly knowing that I can.
"I know. You can go first."
He sighs, finally giving in and nodding.
"It's going to be somewhat of a long speech, so buckle up." He says.
"Go on."
"Okay... We didn't meet in the best possible way and even then, I was a terrible asshole."
"That's very true." I agree.
The first few weeks consisted of me trying to get away from him till I was instructed to stay close to him as much as I can.
While the only reason he stuck around was to win a stupid game he had made with his friends.
It had started out contractual at some point.
We wouldn't be here without those bad choices we had made in the beginning.
"I bothered you and chased you for all the wrong reasons. But along the line, things began to change, how I felt began to change and when more things went haywire, I guess I kind of knew my true feelings then, but still tried to deny myself the truth." He continues, suddenly looking down casted while recalling the painful memory.
I understand how he feels.
"It took everything falling apart for me to realize how
I really feel, what you really mean to me."
While he speaks, I begin to get an inkling on just exactly what he's driving at...
He's trying to make some sort of confession to me, but I can't let him do that.
I can't let him say the words to me, only to be let down. He can't admit his feelings until he realizes what I really am.
"Silas..." I try to step in and stop him, but he keeps going, committed to the last few words he has to say.
"I guess I'm trying to say that I-"
An alarm goes off, cutting into his speech and drawing all our attention.
The buzzing echoes from my hands and while I rummage through the very few clothes in my hands, I find his phone buzzing and turn off the alarm.
"It's 12 midnight... Happy birthday." He says, smiling sweetly.
Yet I feel anything but sweet or pleased.
I need to say it now.
It's my only chance at being the one to reveal my own secret.
"Silas, I should tell you that...that I'm..."
Before I can finally push the words through my lips, something weird begins happening.
Suddenly, my head starts ringing painfully and my wolf goes haywire. My vision coupled with my senses begin to dull as well.
She's more frantic than usual, jumping across the restraints of my mind and trying to rip through me for control.
There have been times when she's desperately tried to force control away from me, but this feels way different.
It's almost as though my control on her has weakened considerably and I'm unable to hold her as well as usual.
I squeeze my eyes shut, focusing on holding her back.
We can't shift, not while Silas is here and we haven't told him.
But she's reluctant, which is unlike her. Usually, she listens to reason.
She howls from within, telling me that she can feel the mate's call drawing her.
Mate?
I can barely understand what's going on before an intoxicating sweet scent filters into my nose, sweet and strong, like a peppermint cedarwood scent wafting in the air and lulling my mind to it, and it's closer, almost as if it's right in front of me.
I look up at Silas and his silver eyes are replaced with the golden yellow of his wolf's, looking down at me intensely, and I just know it in my instincts without being told.
My whole being is drawn to him by this supernatural pull that is so intense.
My Mate.
"Mine." He growls in an almost animalistic manner that is still audible to understand.
It becomes all too real yet unbelievable once he says it, confirming the fact that Silas Bloodmoon is indeed my mate.
"This isn't possible." I say, coming to my senses.
His golden eyes switch back to silver in an instance just as I swerve around to walk away. "Where are you going?" He grabs onto my arm, forcing me to look him in the eyes and revealing the tears running down them.
I hadn't wanted him to see me cry like this.
His face drops into confusion, sadness.
"What do you mean it's not possible?"
"I mean, I can't be your mate Silas. It can't be me." "Why can't it be you? Why? I can feel it, every instinct I have is pointing towards you. And from the look in your eyes a few seconds ago, I know you felt it too."
I shake my head, unable to handle this huge bomb being dropped on me, crying uncontrollably. This just makes everything so much harder for me, for the both of us.
"Silas, you don't understand."
He grips onto both my shoulders more fiercely, fed up with the vagueness in my words. "What do I need to understand? Isn't this good?"
"I love you and I'm sure as hell you feel the same way ... Just don't walk away while we're figuring this out."
"Silas, I'm an Omega." I say it all in one rushed breath before looking up to see his reaction. He laughs doubtfully, shaking his head like a joke.
Then I feel it, like a mist around me suddenly being exhumed from my skin, like the burst of confidence in me depreciating, the binding linking me to the Wizard dissolving in its magic.
Silas' once chuckling face freezes and looks at me again, high on alert like he suddenly doesn't recognise me, or senses that something is off.
His confusion slowly melts into horror and shock once the transformation finally settles in. "Holy fuck." He curses dramatically while letting his jaw drop.
He lets go of the arm he'd desperately clung to only seconds ago, looking at me.
"What...?" He takes two steps away from me immediately.
"Silas, wait... I can explain." I plead desperately, reaching out to hold his arm but he flinches away, like I've burned his skin.
The pain of his rejection is ten times more painful, especially with this mate bond despite its prematurity. I cling onto my searing heart tightly. "This isn't possible. It's not possible to change your status." He shakes his head, trying to make sense of everything I'm saying, my sudden transformation." But... a second ago, you were an Alpha... I could feel it. But now, you're a..."
"I can explain, I swear. There was a wizard and we struck a deal to change my status so I could come here, and we made a deal that I couldn't keep up to but before then, I was an omega. "A wizard... You really want me to believe that?"
"I swear, I'm not lying..."
"You mean like how you haven't been lying all this time?" He snaps back at me harshly, and I flinch away.
He exhales deeply, running his fingers through his hair repeatedly, turning away from me again. Every horrible thing I had feared is happening right in front of me.
"Do you hate me? Do you hate me now that I'm not an alpha? You'd rather be with Elena now?"
"God no, Freya!" He turns back to me again, frantically raising his voice even louder. "Fuck, this isn't even about you being an omega- you could be a mouse for all I care! This is about me trusting you, and you lying to my face over and over again."
"Silas, I swear I wanted to tell. But...but I was scared." "It's scary to be honest, to put out every hidden and disgusting part out there for the fear of being hated, or not being accepted, or looked at like you had a problem. I get that, I was scared too. But I was honest for you! I was willing to do all that for you, Freya, and much more. So no, you being scared isn't an excuse. How could you even think I wouldn't accept you for who you are?"
"Silas... wait, please." "No... I-I just need time to take all this in. I need some time away from you." He talks much more calmly now but with pain evident in his tone and his shoulders slumped.
He turns the other way, morphing into his wolf in only seconds and dashing into the woods.
Left alone, I drop to my knees, letting myself fall apart right there.
The tears wrack through me painfully, and the pain in my chest still burns as hot as it had since. He didn't even want me to touch him. He couldn't even look at me in the eyes long enough, and when he had? there was nothing but hurt and disappointment staring back at me, and none of that love he had confessed minutes ago.
Does it mean it doesn't love me anymore? Is this over before it even began?
My wolf howls in pain? feeling our mate draw farther and farther away while our hearts break more than a few times with every passing second.