TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 78: Chapter 78

: JOY-SUCKING ZOMBIE
SILAS' POV:
I search the end of the cliff for the fifth time since a week now, sniffing the scent of the earth with our snout.
My larger wolf frame allows me to scout and cover a larger distance in a short while whilst I search for clues and yet again, there's nothing to be found.
It's like she was abducted by aliens.
There's no foreign scent of rogues lingering around, or footsteps leading out.
I wonder how at all this is possible. Unless they flew, they shouldn't be this good at covering their tracks, or have some techniques to hide their tracks perfectly.
Something somewhere isn't adding up, and I just can't quite put my finger on it yet.
But I would eventually get to the bottom of this.
Despite knowing all this, I cannot help but return here every day to the last place she was seen.
The last night we had been together.
Had all gone the way it should have been, we'd have never stopped kissing till our lips grew swollen, and the need in our bodies took over.
I'd have held tightly to her hands, and whispered just how I feel about her, about everything.
That I can't get her out of my mind.
That I physically need her near me to maintain my sanity.
I regret every messed up childish mistake I made in the past. The stupid bet just looks like a childish attempt for attention.
I swear that I will find her, and tell her the truth about everything, and that I want to be more than just friends.
I stay there for a little while, before changing back and deciding to head back to the door.
Majority of my day is spent with runs to let off steam, and then searching for her occupies the rest of it.
I could only hope to take a break from the busy schedule once there are hints of her whereabouts and the break would be preparation to fight.
Just as I approach the entrance to the building, Lucas steps out, stopping right in front of me.
It's been awkward between us since our last squabble and with him being rarely seen.
I know it's only a matter of time before we leave it behind us, and move on like we always have. Inspite of that, I wouldn't hesitate to defend Freya if need be again.
I do notice the dullness in his eyes, and his sudden alertness once he sees me.
"Silas." He greets stiffly.
"You okay?" I ask.
He seems paler than usual.
"Perfectly fine." He says dryly.
"You've been missing more frequently these days." I comment on his noticeable absence, speculating the probability that he's just pissed that I'm not doing what he thinks is best.
Basically pissed that I broke up with Elena.
"I've been doing my own research and investigation. We have to find Freya, right?" He offers a sympathetic smile that seems a little too downcasted.
"Yeah... we do." I respond, nodding slowly.
Even though we argued, it feels good to know he still has my back when I need him to.
"Where have you been though? Adam's been looking for you." He gestures to the dorm he's just stepped out of.
I brace myself because I know my answer will annoy him either way.
"I was searching the last place I had been with Freya for a clue, or maybe some tracks we missed the other times..."
He sighs as expected, smacking his forehead with the heel of his palm before exhaling.
"I get how badly you need to find her, but we've already checked the vicinity five times already, and you've gone there a couple times yourself. There's nothing there, no clue can be found."
He argues,visibly fuming.
"I have to keep looking till we see something. She didn't just disappear into thin air, something or someone had to have taken her. It's almost as if the culprit isn't a rogue, but someone else."
"C'mon, Silas. Who would want to abduct Freya?"
"I know someone who'd be messed up enough to plot something like that. Elena. She's bat-shit crazy."
"She has an alias. We checked her; she's clear. It has to be rogues." He says.
"That's not enough. She could have sent someone unrelated to her family to do the dirty work."
"Silas." He draws my attention now, looking more nerved than ever, almost constipated.
I assume the search is taking a toll on everyone just as it is on me.
"What if we never find her?"
I freeze into stone cold ice just hearing his next words.
"What's that supposed mean?" My eyes reduce into slits, glaring daggers his way.
"You're going to be mated to Elena in a few months.
Maybe you need this break to get your thoughts straight, and focus on the important things standing in front of you." He has the nerve to smile hopefully while uttering crap from his mouth.
I never expected fun, bubbly Lucas to effortlessly joke about never finding Freya, like it's a pair of boots that can easily be replaced.
I take a step closer to him while my wolf threatens to rip through me.
"I will excuse what you just said as a mistake, and probably, the stress is finally getting to you. You're working a nit too hard, and you're losing your sense of reasoning. Let it not be anything more than that." I warn in a low and deep baritone, sending the threat across gently.
"Silas..." He ignores my warning, attempting to continue speaking.
The growl comes out of me against my own accord.
The wolf inside me daring him to push this further than it needs to be.
"Don't push me."
"Is this really it? You're going to drop every single thing we've worked for tirelessly, just for Freya? You're going to abandon everything, all for one person you don't even know feels half as much as what you think is going on with you?" He watches me with a disappointed gaze, like I've done the most despicable thing.
"Right now, I'm finding it very hard not to toss you onto the pay ment head first." I mention, practicing slow breathing techniques to manage my temper.
"This is important. If everyone else has lost their mind and I have to be the villain so that everything makes sense again, then I will be." He defends himself.
"That's not what's important right now. Freya is missing, kidnapped by goddess knows who. She could be wounded, traumatized, yet you can only think of the benefits of her absence." I say in disbelief.
He says nothing with his hardened expression, watching me.
"Damn... when did you become so unfeeling that the thought of a helpless person trapped somewhere doesn't faze you at all? When did your obsession with all this grow so much and consume you?"
My anger slowly dissipates now that I see clearly what's going on.
The sadness and emptiness in his eyes.
It's as though he's indirectly crying for help and begging for a reason not to give up on his humanity, purposely getting on my nerves cause he wants so desperately to be punched in the face. "That's not important right now." He mumbles a response, still avoiding staring me in the eye "And what is? The future of the pack is? How are we going to protect citizens if we can't even guarantee the safety of one person? Even if you don't care about her that badly, she's still a person."
Even if he considered her as something less, I would never let any harm come her way, even if it means going against him.
"You've changed since meeting Freya. Now, all that clouds your mind is everything that you shouldn't be doing." He frowns, like he's been betrayed and wounded.
Like he's the victim in this case.
"No, I haven't changed. The person who has changed is you. You've morphed into this dead, brooding, joy- sucking zombie. I mean, don't you at least care how badly all this is affecting Xena?"
He clenches his fists at the mention of her name, finally looking up at me with resentment. "You of all people know what we had to go through to be the way we are, and that love and genuine relationships have no place in our lives." "I know." I agree.
The trauma that came with being groomed specifically for succeeding our superiors...
I had tasted all that too well, and wallowed in that hate long enough to know.
"You're still going to go after this crazy ideology?" "Yeah." I admit.
"I ended things with Xena to fulfill my role, Silas. It wasn't easy but it was necessary."
"No one asked you to do anything like that. You're the one that decided to on your own."
I turn to leave, exhausted.
I had no right to be pissed with him for being the way he had been, just because I had begun to see just how messed up we all were back then. "Silas, wait..." He yells out, and I stop without looking back. "...does it have to be Freya?"
I think on it for only a second. I already know my answer.
"It can't be anyone else."