TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 79: Chapter 79

: WHITE HELL
FREYA'S POV:
I stare up at nothing in particular, my eyes focused, though they are pointed to the ceiling and... my mind elsewhere.
Again, I cannot tell him much time has passed without a clock or a window to gauge the time, or days that flows.
I've been here for longer, but Lucas hasn't bothered to drop by since the last distasteful exchange between us.
His part was the distasteful part, ofcourse, and he was lucky I wasn't so pissed to toss his 'pity meal' in his face...
My part was justifiable. I was the one kidnapped, and his constant bickering about just how good my sacrifice is for the betterment of the pack's future sucks everytime.
Fuck the pack and it's future, they never cared about mine.
And now, he hadn't returned since, probably his own form of acting out or throwing a fit because I couldn't be brainwashed by him.
With his absence came the stale watery oat meal served only twice daily as food, and that only left me feeling more sick than ever.
The cooks weren't trying to impress anyone, so I guess they had returned back to the usual standard for inmates.
Then, the empty silence that engulfs me and almost pushes me into madness.
No cricket or ticking clock, not a single sound for hours.
This room was hell with white walls.
I have to talk to myself once in a while to be sure I wasn't just deaf. At least with his visits, the silence is filled with annoying bickering and him blabbing out his insane mindset.
But it was something, something better than the silence.
I dare to say that I want him to visit again.
I promise I would be more gentle, and less of a bitch... as less as I possibly could be in my situation. But I wouldn't kick him out, and claim I didn't want to see him again.
I can do that after I'm let go, after he wasn't the only ticket for a good meal and entertainment.
My neck starts hurting at this point, and I have to look back down to avoid a cramp. I'm still a bit sore in places, and don't need more bruises or aching joints to worsen the equation.
It's already hard enough to have sleep.
I look down at the table in front of me and the bowl of food. Another rationed portion of watery oat that tastes like shit.
I have no choice but to eat the laid out meal because
I'm hungry, and the food is so little it leaves me hungry enough to eat the next.
Like they're training me.
"You seem more dejected than usual." His voice cuts through my deep thoughts.
I sigh, knowing it's him again. The world's most useless wizard doing the same trick as always.
I look own into my bowl of soup, seeing his image in the flimsy reflection and simply roll my eyes. I'm not that desperate yet.
"Has your current state finally begun to deteriorate you mental fortitude?"
I scoff. "You wish."
"It would be entertaining to watch if you didn't play a vital role in my... plans."
"Yet the role isn't so vital for you to do something, or send help. You know what? I'm not doing this."
I stand from my seat, taking up the bowl in my hand and walking to the toilet, stopping right in front of the toilet bowl.
He snickers though, knowing I'm about to toss away his only means of communication. It doesn't sit well with me, but I do not care to think much of it and my appetite is now non-existent.
"Adios." I say.
I pour the contents into the bowl and flush, watching the water spin till it's clear again, and settles.
There's a sudden knock on the door before it buzzes open as usual. The locks clink, and it pulls open, drawing my attention.
Instinctively, I hide my bowl behind me, just in case they figure out I tossed my food away and not bother feeding me for a month.
I've had a glimpse at just how crazy they can be.
My eyes widen instantly, seeing Lucas standing there with a tray of... food! The good kind - not the shit they offer.
"Lucas, you're here!" I sound a bit too excited to see him, especially with our last meeting.
But I don't really care at this point.
He looks at me dully, half indifferent and uninterested, half annoyed.
"I brought food."
"Yeah, I can see that."
I move quickly to the table he set my lunch on - scrambled eggs and bacon with... orange juice?
Damn, when was the last time I had juice.
I stare down, holding back my drool and rubbing my grumbling tummy, awakened by the aroma steaming up to my nose.
It's freshly made too!
He turns to leave suddenly while I'm too absorbed in the food. I only notice when he's a few steps away, looking up to catch his retreating back.
"Wait..." I call to him. "...you're leaving?" He stops in his steps, turning only slightly to me.
"Yes, you hate my guts, remember? I'm trying to get out of your way." He mutters coldly.
I can't help but feel guilty, even though I should be the one pissed. I should hate him... but I can't bring myself to.
"Well, I don't. But even if I do, I'm well in my rights to. I'm just bored, at least keep me company while you're visiting."
"I'm not visiting... I'm-"
"Yeah yeah, here to bring food. Just sit down."
He grumbles quietly but shifts to my bed, and sits. I nod before dropping onto the chair, and sitting right in front of my meal.
I want to eat it while there's still some steam permeating out, so I grab the eggs first, shoving them down my throat.
"I'm only staying so I can return the dishes to the kitchen." He says, still grumbling.
I only nod, fully focused on my food.
At first, I rush at it, taking large chunks. But at some point, I'm choking on a large lump and forcing it down with some juice. The sweet flavors hit like never before.
I force myself to take it slowly, taking my time to chew each portion before swallowing.
I wolf the entire thing down along with juice, not feeling full at the end but grateful.
I pause to burp unceremoniously, and turn my attention to Lucas again. He simply watches with a blank expression.
"How's Xena?" I ask finally.
"She's fine, gone home after a lot of persuasion. She didn't want to leave till they had some leads on where to find you. But Silas convinced her."
The sound of his name has my heart fluttering instantly.
It's an unsettling yearning and urge to see him again and being in his presence, followed by dread that I might not make it out on time.
So, he is looking for me...
That little piece of information makes my face go all hot, and a soothing warmth settles in my chest. All these varying feels and emotion, all because of Silas.
"How is he?" I ask finally, trying to hide the desperation, how badly I needed to know if he's fine, to confirm his prior statement, and just know everything about him.
He remains silent for a while, settling more dread in my chest from the fear of something going wrong with him.
"Is he okay?" I ask again.
"He's... he will be fine, with time - just bothered."
"How bad is it?"
"I don't think you want to know, so you can remain here without worry that could potentially drive you insane."
I bite on my lips, only able to nod. He says that but I'm more tensed than ever.
The possibility of anything going wrong with him haunts my mind, and I feel like throwing up the meal
I had devoured with gusto seconds ago. He watches me. I feel his eyes watching me in the sudden silence before he speaks.
"I don't understand... You could have avoided all this if you had just avoided Silas long enough." He repeats the same words he's been saying, but much more softer and laced with confusion.
This time, I guess I'm ready to face the truth I had been avoiding. I'm locked up and bored, after all there's no reason to force myself to believe things other than the truth.
I sigh, smiling weakly to myself.
"At first, I wanted to stay clear honestly. I knew he was bad news from the start, but he began to grow on me and draw me to him, and the times I tried to run away, a part of me hoped to be found."
"Why?" He's asking like some middle school kid, struggling at solving a simple math problem. Would have thought it was cute if he wasn't holding me prisoner.
I can only shrug at his question.
"I guess you can say I couldn't stay away."