TAMING THE PLAYBOY ALPHA - Chapter 86: Chapter 86

: FORGIVENESS
FREYA'S POV:
I've grown too accustomed to the burning silence, and bored from being by myself. The intense loneliness that came with my entire situation.
I merely entertained myself by getting deep in thoughts, building up impossible scenarios in my head and playing them how I imagine they would play out till the end.
Then, specifically thinking of Silas till the very end of the day.
I have to focus on a lot of things, so I don't lose my mind.
Just as I stare absentmindedly, the bars pull open, and I turn in the direction to see none other than Lucas.
He offers a warm bowl of what I assume is food with a small smile on the side. I simply nod in greeting as he steps in.
Surprisingly, he moves closer to me, settling down on the hard dirty ground beside me and sighing once he's entered a satisfactory position.
"What are you doing?" I ask
"Sitting next to you." He responds again with same small smile.
I don't return it this time as well, being not obligated to and not being in the mood to pretend that I am somewhat okay.
It's just then as he seats right next to me and smiling that I notice the bright red and purple bruise
"Why do you look almost as banged up as I do?" I ask, looking at the art piece on his face.
Someone had done me the honor of giving him bruises, I wish I could have but couldn't.
I could never do it even when I wasn't pumped full with poison.
He touches the cheek silently, accessing the memories that came with the wound, slowly turning away from me.
"It was Xena." He responds
"Damn, ouch." I wince as though it had been me inflicted by the bruise.
I don't expect the answer.
"You must have really pissed her off."
He chuckles a bit, rubbing on his sore cheek.
"It's a long story. I did something bad and she defended me, but I think we both knew I was wrong."
"Nice vague as hell explanation." I quip sarcastically.
I attempt to grab the bowl from his hands, but he tilts them away from me suddenly.
"No, its fine. Your joints must be badly hurt. I'll feed you."
"Okay...?" I say, staring at him in confusion.
His sudden kind disposition has me wondering what's going on and what's up out there.
The bruise had to be something more than a misunderstanding that would push Xena to hit him that hard. I mean, look at the size of that bruise.
He wastes no time scooping simply a spoonful and gently raising the spoon to my lips.
He's more steady that I would have been with the spoon due to my bruises and for that, I am silently grateful.
Silence falls around us naturally while I eat and he watches as well. We go through half of the portion of porridge before the change in air shifts.
"Hey..."
"You know you can just say whatever it is without calling my attention? Literally have nothing else distracting me right now." I comment.
He nods and continues.
"I'm sorry."
His sudden apology is unexpected and grasps my full attention instantly.
I stare in full disbelief before assuming that probably, he doesn't know what that word actually means for him to throw it around so casually.
"You're not." I correct him.
"I am." He pushes, looking all solemn that it seems true.
I'm reluctant to believe, but I decide to play along.
"Why?"
"I never intended for you to get hurt and to hurt anyone. It was supposed to be simple. You live a simple life hidden away while they search for you, using clues and hints I drop, and you would be free in months. But things spiraled out of my control." He explains with a pained voice, scrunching up his face.
I don't take it simply.
Of course, I couldn't.
He was sorry - fine. Sorry never changed or erased something.
I had always thought myself to forgive easily and let go of unnecessary beef. But back then, I didn't understand what it really felt like to be hurt and bruised by someone.
"It's nice that you're sorry." I respond dryly.
He seems stung by my words but composes himself in milliseconds. He knows he deserves it.
Good.
"I shouldn't have interfered between you and Silas. I realize how stupid that was." He chuckles bitterly now, staring at nothing. "I'm a terrible person, fixated on useless things while I hurt and betray everyone for a cause not as worthy as I had thought." He continues.
He self-hates right infront of me and still, I say nothing. It's all punishment he gets from what he did.
The guilt coupled with the weight of knowing just how awful of a person he is for betraying his friends. It would haunt him forever.
Still, a part of me feels too comforted that he finally realizes his mistake. Something big must have happened, and I assume it has to do with the huge bruise on his face.
"I promise, I'll find some way to let you go."
"How?" I ask now.
I since realized that Lucas really wasn't in anyway in charge as I had thought.
Sure, initially, his visits consisted of yummy food they refused to give in his absence and he could visit at any given moment of the day, but that's just where it ends.
He's just as useless as a mere guard, following orders. His rank must have dropped, seeing as he doesn't bring edible food anymore and more of the white crap. The one who really called the shots had to be someone up high that needed to be consulted for my release.
"Somehow, Freya, even if it means breaking you out myself." He says with so much conviction. But I know how impossible it was to break me out from a prison cell with guards pained to keep me locked in.
Even if he's a talented wolf, he stood no chance against so many, and I would be a liability
I only nod, pointing to the bowl with few more spoons of porridge left, probably grown cold again. I want the conversation to end because I only feel more hopeless than ever just thinking about it.
Unless he could somehow teleport me out of here, I will be stuck.
He resumes feeding, keeping quiet just like I need him to. It's quiet but unlike before, there's tension that just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
My appetite is already gone.
He offers the next spoon but I move away, showing that I'm no longer that hungry.
He smiles sadly again, dropping the spoon into his plate, having no choice but to go now that he's done with what he wanted to do.
He knows I want him to leave now.
"Take care, Freya." He mutters, leaning closer to drop a peck on my lips.
He's being too passionate that it hurts. I want to be cruel to him but he makes it hard to even do that. Clearly, I can't win.
He slowly rises to his feet, dusting the back of his pants and walking towards the exit. He takes one last lasting look at me before walking out.
I sigh once he's gone, physically relaxing. Was he really sorry? He did look honest though, but I can't accept it, wouldn't, if given the option. There were things that weren't just forgivable. Despite that, I feel guilty for being harsh. Damn this human heart of mine.
The once fading footsteps begin to grow louder again as if approaching, and the door bang open.
I turn, expecting to see Lucas again. Maybe he's forgotten something, or wants to say a few more words.
"Hello, Freya Willows."
I swerve forward, tensing up in seconds once my eyes falls onto him. My body quickly trembles in fear, remembering the trauma from simply being in his presence.
Fear like no other grips me tightly, and breathing becomes twice as hard.
Frozen in that moment, I can only mutter two words.
"Fuck me."
"It's nice to see you again." King Darius smirks with a playful glint in his eyes.