Taylor Swift Imagines - Book Four (... - Chapter 8: Chapter 8

The silence in the air was nearly suffocating you.
Taylor sat beside you with her head buried in her hands. She was quiet and clearly under a lot of stress and though you're trying not to push her, you wish she'd just open up to you like she usually does.
She's had a stressful week.
Between re-recording her old albums and doing interviews, dealing with meetings left and right, trying to continue writing new music in between, and dealing with the negative things that come along with her career; which, despite her being able to do most of the time, she struggles to tune out sometimes.
You know she's exhausted and you understand why she's so stressed. But her being so quiet and not using you as her shoulder to cry on really made you worry.
You scooted closer to her and placed your hand on her shoulder. She blew out a heavy breath, followed by a groan falling from her lips before she shrugged her shoulder so your hand would move off of her.
"Tay? What's going on with you?"
"I'm just stressed." She grumbled and brushed her hands along her face.
"I'm here for you." You whispered and rubbed her back comfortingly. "What can I do to help? If you tell me, I'll do it in a heartbeat."
She stayed silent, which caused your heart to feel a bit sad. But you continued to offer to help, pouring out idea after idea of what you could do to bring her some relief.
"How about a massage? You're awfully tense, baby. Or maybe a hot bath? Or we could curl up and watch some cozy movies together? I could pour us some wine and we can just talk about your week? We could order takeout and you can tell me everything on your mind-"
"Can you just stop?" She asked as she turned her head to look at you. "Seriously, y/n, just stop. You're getting on my nerves."
"I'm just trying to help." You whispered and swallowed the lump that was growing in your throat. "I love you and I wanna help you."
"You wanna help me?"
You nodded.
"Then get away from me. You're being so annoying right now, y/n. My week has been bad enough and now you're making me even more overhwelmed by constantly talking to me when I just want you to give some space! Okay?"
"That's mean, Tay," you spoke, only for her to scoff. "I'm just trying to be a good girlfriend by being here for you! You'd do the same for me."
"No, what you're doing is getting on my nerves. Don't make me feel worse. Just go away!"
You felt tears in your eyes. The thought of annoying someone you love so much is a bit of a fear that you have.
You always worry that you're too clingy, too bothersome to people, especially Taylor, who you love more than anything else in the world.
So hearing those words fall from her lips hurt you deeply.
"Fine." You said and grabbed your phone, keys, wallet, and shoes before heading out the door.
You took one last peek at her before you slammed it shut, only to find her head buried back in her hands and her fingers rubbing along her temples.
She wasn't stopping you from leaving. She wasn't following you out, pleading for you to listen as she spoke apology after apology. She just let you leave without any hesitation.
And, so you began to wonder, why you were hesitating to leave when she clearly couldn't care less.
You slammed the door behind you and went to your car before driving off to a nearby motel for the night.
Or, for what you thought would simply be for a night.
Because when you woke up the next morning you found yourself feeling incredibly disappointed with Taylor.
You found, deep in your heart, that you weren't ready to go back home yet. You realized then just how deep her words hit you, how much they hurt you, and you know she's probably anticipating your arrival while you need some time and space to think.
You extended your motel reservation for the next three nights, deciding that you'd take them as a breather and get a little time for yourself.
You spent most of that day sleeping and thinking about everything, despite the fact that your phone was blowing up with texts and calls from Taylor.
You simply turned it off and rolled over, deciding to ignore her calls for the time being.
She left voicemails. Once you turned your phone on, you gave them a listen, and despite hearing her say she was sorry and she was worried and wanted you to just come home, you just turned your phone right back off and tried to find the air to breathe.
The next three days went by fast. You were unsure about extending your reservation or not and decided to take a walk through the park to get some fresh air and think things through.
You found yourself instinctively going to your spot with Taylor. The spot in the park where you shared a lot of your firsts as a couple; your first date, which was spent stargazing and laughing about anything and everything after she took you out for dinner, which also led to your first kiss that same night and the first time she held your hand.
When things are calmer, you sometimes come out here together. It's a little secluded, allowing for you to share some private moments in the most beautiful things that nature provides, like the lake that the ducks swim in and the perfect spot for stargazing.
It's a place where nothing too intimate is ever shared, but some of the most amazing and special moments have taken place here with Taylor over the years, and you couldn't help but go there.
In the tree by the bench were your initials. Taylor carved them in a couple of dates into your relationship.
You brushed your fingers along it with a sad smile before took a seat. The branches swayed with the light wind and in the distance, you could hear the quacking of ducks, causing your heart to flutter a little.
You heard footsteps. Not unusual, considering some people do manage to come along your spot during the daytime if their feet will carry them this far.
It was only the sound of a familiar voice calling out your name that made your head turn.
"Y/N," Taylor called and rushed to you, where she took a seat beside you on the bench with a sigh of relief. "There you are! I've been worried sick about you!"
"Oh, have you now?" You sassed and looked at her.
"Yes! You've been ignoring my texts and calls."
"Wonder why that could be, Taylor."
She went silent and began to reflect on that night like she'd been doing from the moment you left out that door.
"I'm sorry." She said. "I messed up, I know I did. Y/N, you know me, you know I'd never mean anything that I said-"
"Then why would you say it, Tay?" You asked as you tried to keep your gaze away from hers, knowing you'd be crying if your eyes locked. "You know how much it worries me, to be annoying. I never want that."
"You aren't annoying, y/n. You could never annoy me."
"You could've fooled me, considering you said it countless times that night."
"I know." She spoke in sadness. "That was so awful of me. I was just stressed and I needed some space. Not because I thought you were annoying, which I promise you that I don't, but just because my mind was all a mess and I needed to calm down. I didn't want to snap at you, I was so afraid that I would. That I'd say something I couldn't ever take back, because I was so stressed and lacking sleep. I was wrong, so wrong, and I'm so sorry."
You finally looked at her and saw the look of sincerity in her eyes. She was truly sorry. She felt terrible, regretting every word she said.
"You hurt my feelings." You said as you dopped your cheek on her shoulder and let her put her arms around you.
"I know. I feel so awful about it." She said as she rubbed your back. "But I'll make it up to you. I've got nothing going on for the next two days. I will spend every minute by your side. I'll cook for you, or I can take you to a cute little restaurant or we could order some takeout. Whatever you want to do for the next two days, we will do it."
"Okay." You agreed and watched her eyes light up before she moved to pull you in for a big hug. "But promise me that you won't ever snap at me like that again. It hurt, Tay."
"I swear it, y/n. Never again. You have my word." She said before kissing your cheek with a smile.
"You missed." You spoke softly as you gazed into her big, bright blue eyes before she grinned from ear to ear and kissed you passionately. "I love you."
"Love you," she whispered as she kissed you once more, "to the moon and to saturn."