Teach Me to Please | Please Me #1 - Chapter 59: Chapter 59

"D'you think this'll work?" Rya asked me as she finished up hanging the fairy lights onto the sycamore tree standing in the middle of the local park.
"Would you like to come up with a better idea?" I asked, setting out the candles on the table.
She wrapped the last wire around a tree branch and looked down at me, "Nope." She sang and sighed as she finished setting up the lights and hopped down. She grabbed the remote and flicked them on, lighting the tree up with dozens of shimmering lights, replicating stars as if they had fallen straight from the night sky and had landed upon the light, emerald, green, shimmering on the tree leaves.
"Ooo, pretty." She stared awe-struck at them. I rolled my eyes and laughed, taking two flowers, and setting them up in a small vase. "Tulips?" Rya questioned as she caught what I was doing.
"They're her favourite. He's getting her a bouquet of the same but they're pink." The few I was putting in the vase were yellow.
"Are they romantic, though?" she questioned, climbing back up the tree to sit on a branch with her legs hanging down to fix some tangled lights.
"What would you consider to be a romantic flower?" I sighed and finished arranging the tulips.
"I don't know." She shrugged. "Lilies, orchids..."
"Well, Leah likes tulips so she's getting tulips. You can get your lilies and orchids when you are in her shoes." I shot back and she chuckled softly, hopping back down from the branch once again and reaching into the big bag of supplies.
"Speaking on the terms of romance, where's Roman?" I couldn't help but blush as she mentioned his name. It was becoming a regular reaction.
"He texted me ten minutes ago to say he was on his way. He'll be here soon." I answered coyly as Rya pulled out the lighter. She flipped the top open, so the tiny, flickering flame shone in dances of burnt and bright oranges.
Without hesitation, I flipped the top shut and snatched it out of her hands.
"Hey!" she protested. "What was that for?"
"Like I'd trust you with fire. You'd set the whole word alight."
"The planet's burning anyway. I'd just be speeding up the inevitable." She flipped her hair, and I rolled my eyes. She wasn't lying to be honest.
I still set the lighter aside — out of her reach — and finished up on flowers and candle arrangement.
This wasn't exactly how I imagined my Friday night going. Especially my first Friday with Roman as my boyfriend –
Boyfriend. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend – okay, that's enough.
Yet, everything between us had been perfect. I stayed round his pretty much every night so far, and we'd order take-outs and watch movies. When we went to bed, we'd kiss and talk and laugh. Nothing sexual had happened yet and, in all honesty, I didn't mind it. I loved just being in his company and doing all the little things couples did.
He always drove me to and from school, sometimes picking up Rya on the way because he was still trying to 'earn' her liking. Poor boy. We spent lunch together, in between classes, before school, after school, and I couldn't find myself getting sick of him. I only wanted more.
I knew it was what they called the 'honeymoon phase', but I never wanted this feeling to pass.
"Earth to Sienna?" Rya's voice suddenly caught me off guard as she noticed her waving her hand in front of my face.
"Huh?" I stepped back slightly and blinked.
She laughed, "God, it's like you're on a different planet." Shit.
"Sorry." I cringed. The one thing I didn't want to do was forget about Rya. Sure, Roman and I spent all our time together, but I didn't want her to feel like a third wheel. She still had Taylor who she was talking too, but I wanted to make sure we still had some girl-time, which was why I was planning on sleeping over hers tonight for a good old, well needed catch-up-and-gossip session mixed in with some overpriced popcorn and a season one Gossip Girl marathon.
"I think Roman's arrived." She explained and I noticed his car parking up by the side of the street.
Roman was in on the plan too. Although he wasn't exactly ecstatic. However, I explained the situation to him, and he seemed a little more on board.
He carried two boxes over and placed them by the table before letting his eyes slowly rake up my body.
"Hi." He smiled. In an instant, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pecked his lips.
"Hi."
He pecked mine back. "I've got the stuff you need, is he here yet?"
"No." I shook my head. He nodded gruffly. "And be nice when he gets here. I'm sure he's stressed out enough."
"Yeah, whatever." He didn't look too pleased. I decided to ignore it and kissed his lips again. This time I made it slower, letting our lips linger on each other for as long as possible.
"Hello, Rya, how are you tonight? Oh, I'm amazing, thank you for asking!" Rya mimicked behind us, and I couldn't help but laugh. Here we go.
Roman cringed a little and pulled away. "Evening, Rya."
She glanced Roman up and down with narrowed eyes and crossed her arms. "Lawrence." She acknowledged.
Roman's eyes suddenly lit up as he remembered something. He opened one of the boxes and grabbed a takeaway cup of what I assumed was coffee.
"Coffee. For you." It seemed like a peace offering or something to butter her up.
"Black?"
"Yes."
"No sugar?"
"Not a single pinch."
She looked sceptically before taking it out of his hand and took a short sip, smacking her lips together several times as if to savour the taste more like they did in the movies. Eventually, she looked him up and down under an intimidating eye and replied, "It'll do."
I couldn't help but snicker as she turned to fix up the lights some more and Roman glanced back at me almost relieved.
I let a few giggles escape my lips as he ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "She scares me."
"Good." I stood up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. "But don't tell her that otherwise she'll make it a lot worse." Rya was having too much fun with this, but it wasn't like she hated him. She just liked making him sweat a little bit which was fair enough considering the girl was like my sister and being a sister meant you had your privileges.
"How was Jesse?" I asked. I knew he had been to boxing before this.
"Good." He answered. "He says hi, oh and Haley's pregnant." Haley was his fiancé.
"No way! Aww, that's so cute!" I gushed. I had yet to meet Haley but Roman had and apparently she was the sweetest, and I felt happy for Jesse.
"Yep." He grinned. "He's shit scared but excited."
"That's adorable." I cooed and he chuckled. His eyes gazed into mine for a moment before he brushed a few strands of hair away from my face, tucking them behind my ear before moving his fingers to rest below my chin, tilting it up closer to him.
"It is." He agreed. Breathe, Sienna, breathe.
"Did he want kids?" I asked like the answer wasn't obvious.
"Well, yeah. Apparently, they've been trying for a while."
"D'you talk to him about it then?" I wanted Roman to talk to Jesse more. Even though he was older than him, Jesse was a great guy and I just wanted Roman to have friends. I knew he liked being a loner, and I knew he spent a lot of time with his dad in the gym, but I wanted him to put himself out there more. He was an amazing guy that I was sure so many people would like. I was positive he could change someone's life like he's changed mine.
Well... maybe not exactly like he's changed mine, but the meaning was there.
"Not really, we just joked about something and then the conversation led on." He explained and I tilted my head to the side in curiosity. He could see that. "When we were sparing, we told me his kid could beat my kid in a fight any day and I told him that was a long shot." He chuckled softly.
I did too before blurting out, "You want kids?" Why did I say that? God, this must ring alarm bells in his head.
My eyes suddenly widened as the words registered in my mind. "Shit, I mean... sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. I've only been your girlfriend for like five days a-and now I'm asking you about kids and –"
He cut me off by capturing my lips with his. I let out a deep sigh as his thumb brushed tenderly across my cheek and his other hand cupped the other.
He pulled away and whispered, "Relax, pretty girl."
"Sorry." I pressed my forehead against his.
"Don't apologise. I'm not going to bolt; it was just a question." I loved this boy so much. "And yes, I want kids."
I let out a long breath of relief, not because he wanted kids – that was great too, don't get me wrong – but because he made everything so easy.
"Okay." I whispered back. "Thank you."
"What did I say about thanking me? I'm just being a decent boyfriend, baby. You can thank me when I do something like... this." He reached in the box and pulled out a single red rose, gently offering it to me. My heart practically exploded.
"I felt like I didn't really ask you to be my girlfriend so... Sienna Rosalia Callum, will you be my girlfriend?"
My breath caught in my throat at how sweet this was. I didn't want to cry so I held back the tears. "I'd love to." I grinned from ear and ear and pulled him into a kiss. Everything around us melted as our lips captured one another and battles for control, guiding us into our own world where nothing mattered but him and I.
"How d'you know my middle name?" I suddenly wondered aloud as I slightly pulled away.
He smiled and let his thumb caringly rub my cheek. "I saw it on your driver's licence. That's why you have those rose patterned pillows in your bedroom? Because it means 'rose'?"
"You looked up the meaning?" that was so cute. Darn it, why was that so cute?!
He pecked my lips and then grinned against then, "I couldn't resist."
I laughed and ended it with a sigh, "My parents gave it to me because it's Italian." I didn't firmly know the meaning meant 'rose', but I highly assumed it did, yet the confirmation made it sweeter.
"And did you know that 'Sienna' means an orange-red colour. Hence why..." he nodded to the rose in my hand. Oh my god, was it possible to be anymore in love with him? "Your name basically means 'red rose'." I was about to melt.
"What about Callum? Did you search that up too?" I managed to pull myself together and teasingly flicked his check. He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.
"It means 'dove', but it didn't really fit with the whole 'red rose' theme." He did search it up! My eyes lit up in surprise and I couldn't help but pull his head down to meet my lips. Kissing him made everything perfect, it made the bad moment good and the good moment better.
"Guys?! As much as I love this lovefest, we've still got a job to do!" Rya called out and we both jumped apart.
We ended up laughing and he coughed awkwardly. Funnily enough, Roman was quite shy when it came to public PDA. He would hold my hand and lightly kiss my forehead but anything besides that, he reframed for until no one was around. Apart from the first day we went to school official, and I jealously kissed him by the lockers, yet he seemed to like the personal and private kind of relationship which I didn't mind. Having had many experiences with boys who'd only makeout with you in public to gain an ego boost in front of their friends made me feel so used. Roman didn't care about that in the slightest. He only wanted me.
Apart from the handholding and brief kisses on the forehead, we spent most of our time just talking or relaxing in our own silence. He was with me because of me, he liked my opinions and thoughts, he liked just my company. He showed me how much he loved me with all the quality time he wanted with me.
Despite that, one thing I didn't expect was to see flustered Roman making an appearance again. The amount of confidence he had gained in sex meant nothing when I 'accidentally' let my hand slip a little too high up his thigh or suggested how he needed politely fuck me in a storage closet again.
Hey! As much as I loved us spending time together, I was still horny and seeing the little blush creep up his neck every time did things to me I couldn't explain.
"I've got everything you asked for: the speaker, cutlery, food." He cut me out of my thoughts.
"Good." I nodded. "What kind of food?"
"Bolognese. Just like you asked for. And then cheesecake for dessert." He replied and opened the box.
"Damn, you made him cook, Sienna?" Rya chuckled lightly.
"No, I microwaved it and the cheesecake is premade in a box." Roman answered without a care. "What?! Like I was going to cook for the guy. I don't know why he couldn't just make it himself."
"Because Adam can't cook." I explained.
"Adam can't seem to do a lot of things, can he?" he grumbled under his breath, and I gave him a look, placing a hand on my hip.
"Be nice." I warned.
"I'll be whatever I want to be." he shrugged, obviously still bothered. Oh well, he was here I guess.
I noticed a car park up beside the park. Adam's car. And I watched as he walked to where we were.
Leah and Adam were both devastated about the breakup, I could see it in both their eyes and after the talk I had with Adam in the bathroom several days ago, I could tell that Leah had really changed him and became his whole world.
He was desperate to get her back and I could tell that Leah really loved him too. She wanted him to change so she could be with him. So, Rya and I did what we had to do. We told Adam we'd help him win her back. It was one chance and we both heavily emphasised that this was his only chance left. He agreed immediately.
Now, you would think that this set up with Rya and I'd doing... but it wasn't. Adam had planned the whole thing from the fairy lights in the tree, to the tulips and the floral scented candles of jasmine and lavender, even the bolognese and cheesecake which were apparently Leah's favourite food. Every part of it was his idea. I had never known Adam to be so romantic. Like ever.
He walked up to us, his practically black hair styled neatly but still allowed a few waves to curl up, his white dress shirt and black suit crisp worked well against his tanned skin, and his perfectly polished shoes along with the few rings on his fingers glinted luminously in the moonlight.
I couldn't deny that Adam was attractive. There was a reason as to why we started dating and why so many girls' panties dropped when he was around, but he was no Roman. Nope, in my eyes, he was no where near my Roman.
"Hey." He nervously smiled as he got to us. He was nervous and Adam never got nervous. This was how much this meant to him.
"Hey, how are you?" I kindly replied back. I wasn't going to be bitchy towards Adam anymore. I let all my emotions out that day in the bathroom and, besides, I now had the best boyfriend ever and he was changing for Leah, the sweetest girl ever. I decided to put all troubles aside.
"Nervous." He admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets.
I offered a sympathetic smile and assured, "It'll be fine. We've got everything ready, all you have to do is win her back."
"You say that like it's easy." He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled at the roots, something I knew he did before basketball games which now I recognise as anxiousness. "Leah hates my guts. She'll probably eat me alive."
"Good." Roman answered bluntly and I slapped his arm.
"Just... take a deep breath." I tried to calm Adam. "Leah's crazy about you and she misses you too, you just have to work harder to make her know how serious you are about her and that you're going to change." I walked towards him.
"I know." He sighed heavily. "Just... what if... what if I fucked it up with Leah like how I fucked it up with us." Damn, ouch.
"We weren't in love, Adam." I clarified. "Leah loves you, I know it. And you love her –"
"Insanely. I actually think I'm going mad."
I laughed a little and glanced back at Roman who was still staring down Adam with cold eyes, "You and me both."
He caught on and chuckled slightly, "I'm happy for you." He suddenly said and my head shot back to stare at him. "Really. I hope he treats you better than I did."
"He does." I nodded happily. "You should ask for some notes."
"Trust me, my search history is full of questions on how to not fuck up a relationship." God, bless him. I couldn't believe I was actually feeling bad for him, but I knew he was really trying. "What if I have seriously fucked it up, though? What if she sees me and then runs away? What do I do then?"
"Hey," I rested my hands on his shoulder. Damn, he was literally shaking. "She won't."
He let out a long breath and nodded, "I'm still freaking out."
"I know, just... just try to relax."
He nodded again in response, and I turned to wander over to Rya who was setting up the speaker.
"Hey," Roman gently gripped my arm to stop me. I looked up and he stared down at me concerned, "You sure you're okay? With him here and all?"
"I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't okay with it." I answered, "Adam and I are in the past and we've both changed – or at least trying to. Besides, I'm doing this for Leah too."
He stared at me for a few seconds, dithering on what to say. I knew he didn't want to make a scene and that he was holding back for me, but I could tell he also wanted to give Adam a piece of his mind... or fist.
Roman wasn't one for violence, he didn't like using it to gain an advantage but, looking into his eyes, I could tell images of him punching Adam straight across the face were amusingly flashing across his vision.
"I love you." He told me sincerely, "And you know I'll always be honest with you."
I lightly smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his waist, "I know."
"Good, because I don't think there is anything that guy can do to make me like him. And I don't want you near him."
I sighed, "Roman –"
"But I know I can't control you." He cut in.
"You can't." I agreed.
"But that doesn't mean I like you being around him." A quiet huff left my lips, and I rolled my eyes. "Sienna." He warned.
"You don't have to like him, but I want you to be civil with him." I argued.
"I'm not just going to stand here when he –"
"No, let me rephrase it this way; you are going to be civil with him." I interjected sternly. "I don't want anymore drama, Roman."
He exhaled lowly and looked away, muttering something under his breath. I could see why he wanted me to stay away from Adam, but I was done with the past and I wanted to move on. I made my peace. Plus, Adam was trying to change, he kept that promise to me at the very least and it wasn't like I was going to hangout with him as friends.
I guess it was harder for Roman to see passed it because he didn't know Adam the way I did. I knew Adam well, too well, he was my boyfriend too and with that we shared a lot of secrets and vulnerabilities with each other. I didn't want to be the one to stand there and tell Roman all about Adam's life like it excused what he did. It didn't, but it at least made his actions speak some sense as to why he did them. Although, it wasn't my life to expose.
His expression didn't change and I could tell he was thinking things that made it harder for him to see it my way which annoyed me.
"Does it seriously bother you that much?" I narrowed my eyes at him in frustration.
"From my perspective, Sienna, it's hard for me to be around a guy who treated you so poorly he left you with so many scars and issues it caused tons rifts in our relationship and problems in your every day-to-day life. You didn't see yourself when you broke down because of him but I did. I had to pick up the pieces and it hurt me to see you so shattered."
I could see where he was coming from, I really could and I softened a little.
"I get that." I brought a hand up to cup his cheek. "I'm just asking you to not cause any drama. It's the last thing we need." I just wanted to move on too.
He didn't seem so happy about that. "So, you don't want him to face any repercussions for what he did to you?"
"Repercussions? You're acting like he killed my cat. We've already had a talk, I've told you about it, now I just want to move on." How could he not see that? The last thing I needed was more drama, especially in this moment when we had other things to worry about. "Why can't you just understand that?" I huffed, not really thinking as to what I was saying.
"I am trying to understand it." He argued back. Great, now we're arguing.
"No, you're not. You're just angry you're not getting your own back on him." I shot back.
"Are you really trying to protect him?" he raised an irritated eyebrow.
"I'm not! I'm trying to get this fucking plan for tonight done and I'm not only doing this for him, but I'm also doing this for Leah! God, can you just trust me?! I'm trying to understand you're point but you're doing fuck all to understand mine!" I finally burst and instantly regretted it as both Rya and Adam went completely silent and looked our way. Great. Just fucking great.
Roman didn't say anything for a few seconds, then he sighed an annoyed sigh, "I'm going to wait in the car." He grumbled and walked away. Wow, perfect. Just what I needed.
I huffed and rubbed my eyes in exhaustion before walking back to the boxes to set up the table.
"Hey." Rya cautiously touched my shoulder. "You okay?"
I ran a hand through my hair and nodded, "Yeah just a little stressed." I replied quietly.
"Lovers first fight?"
"Yep, and it fucking sucks." I spooned the hot bolognese onto the plates and covered them both with the silver, metal bowels to keep them hot. It looked delicious, even for a microwave meal.
"It happens. You're both new to this, just make sure to communicate when you talk it through." She reminded me and helped set out the cutlery.
"I'm trying, Rya, but what if I'm not trying hard enough? What if this is just going to end up like... you know." It was still a fear I constantly had to push back in my mind. I wanted everything between Roman and I to be perfect, but I knew every relationship had their ups and downs. I was scared that when the downs happened everything would go to shit.
"My dad always told me that how a person acts in an argument says a lot about them. Talk to him after this and see how he reacts. And if he gets annoying, I'll bury him in my backyard so he can think about what he's done."
"Don't you mean a 'time-out'?" I raised a brow.
"Yeah, but burying people sounds more appealing." I wouldn't be surprised if Rya one day became a famous serial killer. Scary, I know, but somewhat amusing.
We set up the rest of the table before my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a message from Leah.
"She's on her way. We better finish this up quickly." I set as we connected the speaker to Adam's phone.
"Fuck, I can't do this." He nervously pulled on the roots of his hair.
"Will you stop it?" I slapped his hand away. "God, you're acting like you're about to fall off a cliff."
"That's how I feel when I'm around her." he confessed.
"Good. Welcome to love, now pull yourself together." I sighed and did a quick surveillance of the area, checking that everything was perfect. Everything was perfect, it all screamed 'romance' and I knew Leah would love it.
A few minutes later Leah messaged me to let me know she was pulling up and soon Adam went into full panic mode.
"Fuck, I'm freaking out. What if she leaves? What if I'm not good enough –"
"You're not good enough." Rya casually said.
"Rya!" I hissed. "Not. The time."
She cringed a little, "Sorry, I mean, woo! Go Adam!" she lightly punched the air and I mentally facepalmed myself.
Adam kept stressing. "But she right, I'm not good enough for her. She's going to hate it; she's going to think it's all stupid. What if she hates me?"
"She does hate you." Rya said once again. For fuck's sake.
I gave her a silent death glare and she suddenly straightened up, walking over to Adam, and pulling him by the collar.
"Pull yourself together, dude!" and then she slapped him. And I mean slapped him straight across the face.
"Rya!" I exclaimed. Adam stood there for a minute in complete shock.
"Sorry." She shrugged. "I've just wanted to do that for a really long time." I couldn't blame her. As much as I have had to deal with Adam's antics, so has she. She was the one to pick me up when he left me in pieces so I could only imagine the amount of annoyance and frustration she had towards him.
A car pulled up and we all watched the distant figure of Leah step out.
"It's time." I whispered to both of them and turned to Adam. "Just... be honest with her. You want to fix this, don't let her forget that."
"I won't." he nodded and smiled thankfully before I linked my arm with Rya's, and we both ran off to watch behind a tree in the distance.
We told Leah to dress up nice, pretending we were going to meet up here before going out she didn't question it weirdly enough and went with it.
The emerald, green dress fell down to her midthigh and the neckline cut down low. Not too low but just enough to show off a small amount of cleavage. It wrapped in at her waist to accentuate her figure and with a pair of gold heels to match, she looked gorgeous.
"D'you think she'll hate us for doing this to her?" Rya whispered quietly by my side, and we carefully watched the scene about to unfold.
"Maybe at first." I replied back. "But if Adam doesn't fuck this up, she'll probably thank us for it."
"I can't believe we're putting this in the hands of Adam." Rya whispered almost to herself. "May God save us all."
Leah walked up closer and stopped when she saw Adam, I couldn't distinctly make out the look on her face but by her stance, she was definitely shocked. Poor Adam seemed like he was about to fall to his knees just by looking at her.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she said completely confused.
"Leah..." Adam took a step forward, a bouquet of pink tulips in his hand, and she stepped back. Taking the hint, he stepped back a little too. "I... I just want to talk."
"And you couldn't do this over the phone?" she crossed her arms defensively.
"You blocked me."
She paused for a second before huffing, "I don't have time for this, Adam. I told you, we're over." She turned to begin to walk away before Adam hastily stepped forward.
"No! I-I...." Leah turned back, confused as what he was about to say. "I-I'm sorry, Leah... so fucking sorry. I really fucked up and now I've lost you and I don't know what I can do to make it any better, but I did this –"
"Did Sienna and Rya put you up to this?" Leah raised an irritated eyebrow.
Adam stilled slightly, "What?"
"I'm not dumb, Adam. You're the least romantic person in the world." Ouch, but she had a point.
"They might have helped me." He murmured slightly. Leah looked like she'd had enough and began to walk away. "But it was all my idea!" he blurted out desperately. She stopped. "You told me your dream date was to have dinner under the stars." He explained. "I... I tried to make that happen. For you."
Leah eventually turned around, her eyes finally taking in the scenery. It was a beautiful sight to say the least and I could easily see why this would be her dream date. Her mouth was slightly gaped as she placed a hand on her chest and splayed her fingers across her collarbone.
"You can't just do something like this and expect me to come running into your arms like nothing happened." She told him in the faintest of whispers.
He nodded slowly, "I know."
"Because I'm not going to do that. I don't want to be thrown around like I'm nothing."
"I know." He stepped closer to her and hesitantly took one of her hands in his. "I just want you to give me a chance."
"I've given you chances." She pulled her hand away. "I feel like I've given you almost everything and no matter what I do, you still manage to pull away and treat me like I mean nothing."
"Leah –" he tried to reach out for her hand again yet this time she stepped back.
She shook her head as if to get herself out of a trance, "I... I can't do this. We can't do this. We're only going to hurt ourselves." She took a deep breath and shook her head again.
"Leah, please." Even from afar, Adam's eyes seemed like they were glassing up as he looked desperately at Leah.
"Goodbye, Adam." She sighed sadly and walked away.
It was haunting to watch. The way that every part in Adam seemed to shatter to pieces as he watched the girl, he loved walk away. With every step Leah took, it seemed to be glazed with nails, paining her the further and further she made herself go.
"This is horrible." Rya whispered sadly by my side. And she was right. Everything about it was painful to watch.
Suddenly, Adam's head jerked up from looking at the floor and determination shone bright in his eyes. "I'm sorry!" he called out. Leah completely stilled in her step. "I... I love you. All I want is you. And I've been driving myself insane, but I would rather go mad than not have you..."
His words of confession forced Leah to turn around and stare back at him, her own eyes rimmed bright red as if she had just been crying.
"And I know that I fucked up." He continued, "And I mean really fucked up, but I'm going to change, I want to change. I have never met a girl before who's made me want to fall to my knees and beg for her forgiveness a million times and it's fucking terrifying but the most liberating feeling in the world because I want everyone to know how much I am madly in love with you, Leah Kingston. Till the day I die, to the moon and back, I will never stop saying it."
"Damn, who knew Adam could give romantic monologues?" Rya whistled.
I sighed ironically and gazed down at the floor, "Love makes you do crazy things." And that was the truest it could get.
For a moment I thought time was on pause as Leah stood completely still as if she had frozen, then, gradually, walked towards him with much caution.
I could practically feel her nervousness all the way from here.
Around a meter away, she stopped and looked him dead in the eye. "I don't want to be one of those girls who runs in circles with you constantly." She stated. By that she meant me. Ouch again... but true so I couldn't blame her.
"You won't." he shook his head. "I made a promise to change and I am. You are worth every single fight within myself so I can be the guy you deserve."
"If you mess this up again, I won't be coming back."
"I know." He nodded understandingly. "And I never want to lose you again." He took her hand in his, cupping it with his other, "I love you, Leah. I love you so much it literally terrifies me."
"Me too." She chuckled nervously, trying to lift the tension. "But I still haven't forgiven you yet." She suddenly made clear.
"I know." He laughed, "That's why we have dinner which, by the way, is probably getting cold."
Leah's eyes peered behind him and saw the tabled decorated to perfection.
"I give you my word, Leah Kingston, that I will make this the best date of your life." He told her adamantly.
"Okay." She smiled lightly, trusting his word.
Rya and I watched as the two moved to the tables, feeling relieved that the whole thing didn't go up in flames.
It was sweet seeing them both so happy because even though they had played a small part in my life, I knew they had their own story between them, full of troubles and challenges but lots of love. So much love that they were fighting for each other too.
Leah had one of the kindest souls I knew, it was so pure and genuine, and she deserved somebody to love her with all they had, and, from afar, it seemed like Adam was planning on doing just that.
"We should probably go, we kind of look like creeps." Rya whispered by my side, suddenly making me jump. "Sorry." She cringed when she saw my startled reaction.
I gazed back at Leah and Adam one more time and saw him take a velvet ring box.
"Holy shit! Is he proposing?!" Rya hissed in pure shock. He opened the box up in front of Leah and reveal a ring. From where we were standing, it didn't seem to be an engagement ring, especially from Adam who had tons of money to buy Leah all the jewels in the world.
"It's a promise ring." I stated quietly.
"Oh my God... that's so... adorable." Rya couldn't believe her eyes. "Urgh, I hate love."
I laughed and rolled my eyes, "One day you'll meet the right guy."
"Well, he's gonna be one hell of a guy. I'd like to think my standards are so high they reside on Mars. As they should, of course."
A faint chuckle left my lips, and I rolled my eyes once more. I expected nothing less from Rya, and she was right, it would have to be one hell of a guy. "As they should." I muttered and decided we had done enough spying on Adam and Leah, their date seemed to be going perfect.
We made our way back to the car, making sure neither Adam or Leah could see us, and opened the doors. There was Roman. Dammit, I forgot he was there.
One hand was braced on the steering wheel, the other by the gearstick, his fingers playing with a hairband between them. My hairband. I loved how he always kept one on his wrist.
Rya slipped into the backseat, and I dithered joining her. However, I decided to put my big girl pants on and climb into the passenger's seat, not bothering to look at him. Urgh, why was this so horrible?
"Did it go alright?" his voice was strained as he asked me.
My gaze shifted down to the floor, "It went fine."
Silence began to awkwardly linger once more.
Rya coughed, "Oh shoot, looks like my coffee is finished. Damn, guess I should go and find a trashcan." When I say Rya couldn't act, I mean Rya really couldn't act. The whole sentence sounded as if it was from a 3rd Grade school play that one of the P.T.A mom's scripted when she was going through a midlife crisis.
Without a second to spare, Rya hopped out of the car and went off on her 'search' to find a trashcan.
Now Roman and I were sitting in even more of an awkward silence that tousled between us, bickering on who would speak first. The rose he had gotten me was still clutched in my hands and I had completely forgotten it was there.
"Talk to me." He finally said. My head shot in his direction, but he still wasn't looking at me. "Tell me how you're feeling."
I glanced away to look out the front window as he was. "I'm irritated, and annoyed, and... upset."
"Why?" he questioned.
"Why d'you think?" I narrowed my eyes and shot him a look.
A long, frustrated sigh left his lips, and I couldn't help but feel even more upset. I hated us like this. I never wanted us to be like this.
"You can shout at me if you want." I finally whispered and placed my hands in my lap.
Roman's head shot to me, his expression full of confusion. "What?"
"I said you can shout at me. You're obviously pissed off." I repeated, giving a further explanation.
"I'm not going to shout at you." He stated.
"Roman, just do it. I know you want to." I felt like he was holding back, and I didn't like it. Most boys shouted at me when they got mad at me, sometimes they would punch walls or slam their hands on the steering wheel. Why wasn't he doing the same?
"I'm not going to shout at you." He shook his head firmly.
I sighed and moved to get out of the car, "Fine. I'm going to get Rya." But as I moved to open the door, Roman gently grabbed my hand, forcing me to look at him.
"Sienna..." he warned softly. Everything he did was so gentle. Why? Was he afraid I was going to break the minute he raised his voice at me or something? Was he stepping on eggshells? Was I the problem?
I fell back to the hundreds of thoughts of worry that whirled around my brain till they made me feel sick and my eyes began to water. Was I the problem? I was usually the problem. I didn't deserve him. I was going to fuck this up so bad.
"Hey." He called me out of my thoughts and squeezed my hand. "What's all this for, baby?"
"Am I annoying you?" my voice broke as I asked.
His eyes clouded with confusion, "What? No –"
"Are... Are you going to breakup with me?" he was about to say something before I cut in. "It's okay if you are, I mean, couples do it all the time, don't they?" people took breaks. That was normal? It was normal for me but was it actually normal? Why was I suddenly getting so insecure?
"Sienna, I don't understand why —" and then he saw the uncontrollable tears in my eyes. "No. I'm not having this." He instantly placed his hands on my waist and lifted me over the console to straddle his lap. One of his hands rested on the back of my neck as he gently placed pressure on it, letting me know it was okay to cave into him.
My head fell into the crook of his neck and I let out the shakiest of breaths, attempting to keep myself together when all I wanted to do was break.
"And you wonder why I don't want him around you." He muttered under his breath and the exhausted frustration simmering behind his tone made me try to keep it together further, so much so every muscle in my body tensed.
He noticed, of course. "Fuck, I'm sorry. It's okay." He then soothed. "You can cry, pretty girl. I've got you." Tears fell down my cheeks and onto the hot, soft skin of his shoulder as his free hand tenderly rested against my lower back, his thumb rubbing back and forth as of to comfort me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered against his skin. "I don't want us to fight. I don't like it."
"Neither do I." He confessed seriously. "Look at me." He gently commanded and carefully cupped the side of my face in his palm to pull my head away from his shoulder so our eyes met.
"I feel like an idiot." I admitted, my hands falling into my lap as I met my fingers intertwine with each other.
"No. You're not." He argued.
I let out an exasperated sigh, "I just wanted to talk and fix things. You know, communicate, be a healthy couple. And instead I do the complete opposite. I break down crying and make you feel guilty." I felt like a huge idiot. Way to go, Sienna.
"You're not making me feel guilty." Roman told me bluntly. "And this is the first time we've ever disagreed on anything massively as a couple, it's not supposed to be fun and easy."
"Yeah, that's why I wanted to talk but the minute I got into this car and saw you I just..."
"Broke down?"
"I went back to what I knew despite everything and put my walls up.... And then I broke down." It was something I was so used to doing. A habit engraved in me I was trying so hard to break. To erase.
"I know, but you can't fix things overnight. You're trying as hard as you can." He reasoned and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"But it's not enough." I complained. I wanted to be enough. I had this amazing boy opposite me and all I wanted was to be enough for him.
"And who's saying that, hmm?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I am." I looked down at my hands in my lap.
"Because you're way too hard on yourself, baby. Hey," he played a finger under my chin to look at him the minute I began to look down. "You're trying. It's not like we're running round in circles, I mean, you're telling me how you feel so easily now, and when I asked you what you were feeling only a few minutes ago you told me. You've come a long way already."
"But... But I feel like you deserve better." I mumbled feeling almost embarrassed to say it after his own speech.
"Baby..." he sighed with a small smile and rested his hands on my hips, "We're still new to this, and this is our first proper disagreement as an official couple. Plus, I was being a dick too."
I chuckled a little, taking a deep breath, "You were."
"Exactly, and I'm so sorry for that. I should have heard you out a little more." He apologised with a frown.
"I just need you to trust my judgement." I calmly explained. "I know... I know you want to protect me but sometimes instead of protecting me, I just need you by my side to fight with me. Even if all I want is for you to be civil with a person, it'd still mean a lot."
He nodded his head in sincere understanding and took hold of one of my hands with his, interlacing our fingers.
"If you really want me to be civil with Adam, I'll be civil with Adam." He finally said, not too happily but he still said it. And meant it.
"Thank you, because it really hurt me when you walked out." I further went on to say.
"It hurt me too." He smiled sadly. "But I guess I just needed some space to clear my head. I didn't want to turn things into a huge argument and ruin your and Rya's plan for Adam and Leah's date."
I took my hand out of his and wrapped both my arms around his neck, "Okay, I understand. Just tell me you need space next time?"
"I will." He assured confidently. "And when we argue, please don't be afraid to just tell me bluntly how you're feeling. I'm in this for the long run, pretty girl, breaking up with you would be complete and utter torture so you better get used to me."
"I'm already too used to you. To the point where I don't think there's a single part of you I'm not crazily in love with. I just get these moments where I get..."
"Scared?"
"Insecure." I corrected. "And I'm trying to stop it."
"Don't." The word caught me off guard. Don't. I gazed at him with puzzlement. "I can't fix your insecurities, I know that, you have to fix them in yourself. However, I'd want you to feel safe and comfortable telling me about them at the very least so I know how you're feeling and if there is anything I could do to make your day a little better."
His words brought a smile to my lips. Roman accepted me for everything, he wanted the good, the bad, and the ugly and he wasn't afraid of it. I loved this boy so much.
"Okay." I agreed. "As long as you promise me to do the same. I always want to know how you're feeling too."
"I will." He nodded surely, studying me intensely with his eyes, knowing that there was still doubt creeping into my mine. "You're still not okay." It was a statement, not a question, and he hit the nail right on the head.
"I just..." I looked down at my lap and fiddled with my fingers. "I feel like I really don't deserve you."
"You're kidding right?"
I furrowed my brows in response not knowing if he was shocked, teasing, or genuinely confused.
Things were cleared up for me the minute he said, "I don't deserve you. You are the most kindhearted, funniest, smartest person I know. Not to mention extremely stunning and unbelievably sexy." I couldn't stop the redness spreading across my face as the words fell from his lips. "And there is no one I would much rather spend the rest of my life with. You're it for me, pretty girl. You're everything, and it's horrible that you can't see that."
Everything thing he said embraced me in the warmest of caresses and took me to every inch of comfort in the world. It made me love him even more, if that was possible.
I found myself staring into his eyes and thinking of it with him. The rest of my life. Every flash of a potential future seemed perfect.
"I love you." I whispered. "I'm just worried that my insecurities will never go away and I'll ruin everything." I confessed. I didn't want to ruin this, not with me, nor when he was my everything.
"You're not going to ruin anything. In fact, we're only going to make our relationship stronger by being open and confiding in one another. We're a team, and sometimes I can't help you get over everything but I'll sure as hell be there to catch you when you fall."
My head fell into the crook of his neck and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. The fact he wasn't afraid of my insecurities and problems made everything in our relationship feel so much stronger and... real. This was forever. Our forever. And everything he gave me made me the happiest girl in the world.
"D'you ever get, you know, insecure?" I couldn't help but ask. In a way, I felt like Roman didn't talk about his problems for my sake and I didn't want our relationship to work like that. I wanted him to open up to me just as much as I do for him. I wanted to care and be there for him as much as I could too.
"Sometimes." He replied. "Everyone gets insecure, really. For me it's not that big of a deal. I just want to make sure you're okay." My heart fluttered but hurt to hear him say that.
"Well, it's a big deal to me." I lifted my head up and looped my arms around his neck. "You can tell me anything, I'm never going to judge you." He's said the same thing to me before, I just hoped he knew it worked both ways.
"I know." He sighed with a small chuckle, distracting himself by playing with the ends of my hair.
"Are some of those insecurities stemmed with Adam?" I couldn't help but ask. I know he has gotten jealous about him before but I couldn't help but think that part of the reason he didn't want me around him was due to a insecurity he kept hidden also.
He took a few minutes to pause and think, something told me he didn't know exactly how to word it as his mind ticked through the sentences.
A hand kept playing with my hair as the other dropped by his side. "I mean, no one likes their girlfriend hanging around their ex, but I know you and Adam are different because the love wasn't really... there. Plus, I hate the way he treated, but you already know that. However..." he lingered on finishing the sentence.
"However?" I gently encouraged.
"Adam has a lot more... experience in certain areas, whereas I... don't. I feel like I sound like an idiot but everyone hears rumours and I can't help but think...." He stopped himself again and instead of trying to pry, I took hold of his freehand and have it a small squeeze.
"I can't help but think that he's much better than me... you know... in bed."
I almost laughed but I didn't want him to feel even worse. In a way, I couldn't even believe Roman could possibly think that let only dithering on it. Yet, in another way, rumours did spread and let's just say Adam was notorious for giving girls a good time in bed. Roman didn't have as much 'experience' so to such but it still confused me slightly.
"You're not saying anything." He quickly clocked in a deflated tone.
"No! No. It's just... insane to me that you would think that."
"Why?" He shrugged. "I was a virgin who hadn't even kissed a girl when I met you. It's understandable if it's true —"
"It's not." I hastily interjected.
"So Adam's not great in bed?" He raised a suspicious brow. Dammit, I didn't want to lie to him but I didn't want to make him feel worse. "Please don't lie to me." He begged. I guess there was only one option.
"He is great in bed." I cautiously admitted. "But because he's slept with so many girls, he doesn't exactly know what makes certain girls go wild, if you know what I mean?" I didn't know how else to phrase it. "For girls, sex if more of a specific-taste kind of thing in what makes the difference from a great time and an amazing time. Sometimes those things are physical, other times they're emotional. Intimate."
He still wasn't following me, or maybe he was trying to process what I was saying as carefully as he could.
"What I'm saying is," I sighed, "You know me, you know only me. You know all the ins and outs of my body and mind, what drives me wild, all the emotions we give each other. You love me, Roman. Love changes sex completely to heights you'll never understand but it's so insanely amazing I don't think I can put it into too many words."
With him, everything was different. In some ways I believed I had created the perfect sex god for all women in Roman, yet in others, he only knew my body. And I loved everything about that.
"I guess because we haven't had sex as couple yet I'm scared I'll get too nervous about wanting it to be amazing and will mess it up. That's normal, right?"
"I'm sure it is, but we don't have to rush. And I'm positive it'll be amazing whatever happens. Remember, you're taking to a sex-pert here, who taught you everything you know, I always have my ways." I winked playfully and he laughed, minimising the tension.
"I guess we've got a long way to go as a couple then, huh?" He chuckled lightly.
"You say that," I hummed, "but I think we're doing alright. However, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life figuring this out with you."
"Mmm." He nodded and pulled me in for a long, simple, calming kiss. "Neither can I."
A knock on the window sent us both jumping up. Rya was outside the window looking slightly panicked.
"Are you two done yet? Because there's some creepy biker dude standing outside Domino's giving me the pervy eyes and I'm scared if I wait a minute longer he's gonna ask if the carpet matches the drapes."
As quick as I could, I hopped off Roman's lap and into the passenger's seat as Rya hastily made her way into the back. Within a few seconds of her shutting the car door, she asked "Do I need to use the shovel when we get back to mine?"
Roman overheard her and looked at me in confusion, "Shovel? Why would you need a shovel?"
A soft chuckle left my lips and I took his hand, placing it on my thigh so his warmth spread throughout my body.
"Don't worry, I don't think we'll ever need it."
"Speak for yourself." Rya muttered and I chuckled, shaking my head in response.
Roman still looked at me confused as he started the engine of his car. I only smiled back and moved our intertwined hands to my lap, his fingers ticking the inside of my thigh. For me, this wasn't even for sexual reasons, I just liked having him close.
We drove along the street and I rested my head back against the slightly worn-out leather material.
I turned my head to the window to see the faint outline of Adam and Leah slow dancing under the tree, there figures glowing underneath the fairy lights.
Now, the real plan began.