ten reasons - Chapter 10: Chapter 10
You are reading ten reasons, Chapter 10: Chapter 10. Read more chapters of ten reasons.
having the alisa haiba as your best friend, you grew accustomed to seeing her adorned in more designer outfits and accessories than the average person. often times, you walked down the streets with her as normal, yet out of the corner of your eyes seeing the subtle flash of a camera, as alisa put on a stunning smile as if it was second nature.
she, as usual, was clad in an outfit designed by another generic foreign man, a sparkly saint laurent minidress. yet you stood next to her in regular denim shorts and tank, turning your face away from this awkward situation.
it wasn't until you arrived at her flat that you were able to calm you and your racing mind down a couple notches. "whew, it is so hot out! i should've worn a crop top." she giggled, and part of you wished that she did, so you wouldn't look so drab next to her.
"at least summer's almost over," you said, collapsing down onto her sofa as she turned on the tv, "and then it's back to hot gymnasiums in autumn." she huffed.
"so when are you leaving? next weekend?" she looked almost disappointed, and you nodded, watching her pout and turn to a television program hosting alisa's most recent fashion show, one in which she was the featured model once again. "my advisor says my hips sway too much and snap down too hard, but kugisaki does the exact same thing as me!"
"hey, you made it this far for a reason, just do what you know the best." you sort of trailed off, your eyes glued to the screen which held so many gorgeous people behind it. you stared at their perfect features, body lines, and their god-like hold over the audience, but most importantly you felt yourself getting envious of their lifestyles.
these people are too beautiful to be true.
now you were hurting your own feelings, and making yourself swallow your pride to quietly ask her to turn to a different channel, she agreed. of course she did, as she always was striving to made you comfortable, but the program that she switched to only made your stomach drop.
"oh my gosh! (name), you're on tv!" alisa cheered, pulling out her phone to take a picture of this so-called 'momentous occasion,' while you only sat frozen on the couch.
'and here we have japan's most decorated model sporting her saint laurent dress, the same company who recently endorsed her.' a man spoke.
'wow! that thing sure is sparkly! and this is what good models do, they make the product look appealing easily." a woman's voice was playing in the back of your head, but you could hardly focus on what she was saying.
and there you were, your denim shorts and tank looking almost draining against alisa's outfit.
forcing yourself to smile, you stared at your face, which you thought honestly didn't look too awful, only your candid side profile, and you were grateful nobody was going to be looking at you.
instead, they would be gazing at alisa's charismatic smile and perfect self.
"i'm sending this to sakusa-san!"
"huh?!" you exclaimed, jumping up and snatching the phone out of her hands. "you sent this to the whole groupchat?!" you shouted, hearing the fateful double ding, the photo followed by a look at our girl!
if your friends weren't always so sweet, you could see yourself getting pissed off. but because they loved you so much, you only felt a little embarrassed and ashamed to be seen as such next to alisa. however you knew they'd always hype you no matter the circumstances.
you heard your phone ping relentlessly as atsumu and hinata spammed the chat, followed by bokuto a few moments later. sakusa, too, was in the group but never actually made the effort to respond to anybody. this wasn't surprising either, knowing his quiet-mannered self.
to your horror, kiyoomi had actually participated in the chat, sending a laughing emoji (you didn't even know he was aware of emojis in the first place).
"this is humiliating!" you groaned, slumping back down onto the sofa as alisa's smile faded. she grasped the remote and switched the tv off, looking at you curiously.
"why? you look great!"
you smiled weakly at her, "thanks, lis," you sighed, "i just look so out of place next to you is all." pouting, alisa stepped over and pulled you up by the arms.
"never question your own value!" she pressed, "do you wanna try some of my stuff on? we're about the same size i think!"
"no, i'm okay," you chuckled, but she only raised a brow at you.
"nope, let's put you in some burberry!" she grinned, pulling you firmly off the couch and into her ginormous room that she called a closet. you huffed and wandered around the place as she rifled through her endless racks of jackets and pants, shirts and sweaters, racing around until she found a suitable getup for you. you found yourself staring at a chanel perfume set on a vanity before she said a quick ta da~!
gesturing excitedly to a heap of clothes on her bed, you found your eyes watering as you smiled at her. stalking towards the expensive set of designer items, you ran your fingertips along the soft cotton and stripes of plaid.
"what are you waiting for? put it on!" she picked up the long, plaid and beige overcoat and shoved it into your chest before walking out of the closet and shutting the door. you turned slowly to one of the many floor-length mirrors on the wall, raking your self-abusive eyes down your body and feeling your heart drop. you begun to slowly change out your denim shorts for a plaid skirt and brown belt, white tank with a same colored turtleneck, then finishing it off with the gorgeous matching plaid overcoat.
you stared at yourself with a faint blush, trying to critique every small detail about yourself for a long time, until alissa quietly cracked open the door for a peek and dramatically gasped once she laid her eyes on you.
"oh my gosh! you look so pretty!" she clapped and gestured for you to spin around. and as silly as it was, you spun awkwardly around as she snapped photo after photo.
"stop!" you said, "i look weird."
"no, you're just not used to it," she smiled, clearly fumbling with the keys on her phone where she was likely to send another picture of you.
"either way, there's no chance i'm wearing this in public." you scoffed, beginning to pull your arms out of the long sleeves.
"why not?"
"i'm...just not the sort of person this stuff is geared towards. this is all for pretty people." you chuckled, placing the article carefully down onto the table once again.
"you think you're not pretty?" she folded her arms and looked at you disapprovingly.
"not like you, i mean."
"wear it home! see what sakusa-san thinks." she said, taking the coat and draping it over your arms, wrapping her own around your shoulders from behind. "i bet he'll love it."
"no, i cant do that—"
"you can keep it all, actually," she smiled, "i can easily replace it! besides, you look breathtaking." her smile was easy to convince you, so when you awkwardly opened your front door reeking of burberry and chanel, sakusa could only stop and stare at you as you stood frozen with the door halfway open.
his eyes raked your body from head to toe, and he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.
"why are you wearing that?" he asked lowly.
"alisa gave them to me."
"i'm going to ask you again, and you better answer me," he spoke, coming up off the wall and stepping closer to you, "why are you wearing that?"
"she says i look pretty," you quietly closed the door behind you and stepped past him, "i don't feel like that, but she wouldn't let me leave without it."
"why would you think that about yourself?" he followed close behind you as you stepped into the bedroom, as you huffed angrily and started ripping the outfit off of your body. suddenly you spotted a magazine on your own nightstand, a tabloid which held alisa's face on the cover, and you gripped it and held it directly next to your head.
"why wouldn't i, when my closest friend is a constant reminder of what i should look like?"
you stared at him with wide eyes, as if looking for an answer to your question, "i'm sorry," you tossed the magazine onto your bed and sat down as sakusa could only gaze at you in guilt. "i've been a little bit too mean to myself today." you chuckled humorlessly as the silence stretched out uncomfortably between you.
sakusa sighed after a moment, stepping in between your legs and hooking a finger underneath your chin to make your eyes meet his. "i think you're stunning, and i'm not saying that to make you feel better."
you smiled and scoffed, eyes closing as he removed his finger from your skin, "thank you, kiyo."
"you're an idiot," he snapped, "comparing yourself to someone who gets paid to walk around and wear clothes. you do actual work, and that's way more attractive." he said crossly, making you laugh as he dramatically exited the room with shino trailing behind him.
you could only shake your head and change into your comfortable loungewear, hearing the two get settled comfortably in the living room.
once you stepped out of the room, you padded over towards kiyoomi and shino, who was settled on the floor and sat down next to your boyfriend.
"you really laughed at that picture?" you questioned, laying with your back pressed against sakusa's chest as he rumbled with laughter.
"yeah, i thought it was amusing," he said, draping an arm around your hip and resting his nose in the crook of your neck. "and i just knew that you would hate that picture."
"shut up."
he snorted, guiding you to face him chest to chest with his hand on your cheek. you stared up at him, his familiar warmth taking over your senses and making you smile as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
"i think you're beautiful, and that's my ninth reason."
she, as usual, was clad in an outfit designed by another generic foreign man, a sparkly saint laurent minidress. yet you stood next to her in regular denim shorts and tank, turning your face away from this awkward situation.
it wasn't until you arrived at her flat that you were able to calm you and your racing mind down a couple notches. "whew, it is so hot out! i should've worn a crop top." she giggled, and part of you wished that she did, so you wouldn't look so drab next to her.
"at least summer's almost over," you said, collapsing down onto her sofa as she turned on the tv, "and then it's back to hot gymnasiums in autumn." she huffed.
"so when are you leaving? next weekend?" she looked almost disappointed, and you nodded, watching her pout and turn to a television program hosting alisa's most recent fashion show, one in which she was the featured model once again. "my advisor says my hips sway too much and snap down too hard, but kugisaki does the exact same thing as me!"
"hey, you made it this far for a reason, just do what you know the best." you sort of trailed off, your eyes glued to the screen which held so many gorgeous people behind it. you stared at their perfect features, body lines, and their god-like hold over the audience, but most importantly you felt yourself getting envious of their lifestyles.
these people are too beautiful to be true.
now you were hurting your own feelings, and making yourself swallow your pride to quietly ask her to turn to a different channel, she agreed. of course she did, as she always was striving to made you comfortable, but the program that she switched to only made your stomach drop.
"oh my gosh! (name), you're on tv!" alisa cheered, pulling out her phone to take a picture of this so-called 'momentous occasion,' while you only sat frozen on the couch.
'and here we have japan's most decorated model sporting her saint laurent dress, the same company who recently endorsed her.' a man spoke.
'wow! that thing sure is sparkly! and this is what good models do, they make the product look appealing easily." a woman's voice was playing in the back of your head, but you could hardly focus on what she was saying.
and there you were, your denim shorts and tank looking almost draining against alisa's outfit.
forcing yourself to smile, you stared at your face, which you thought honestly didn't look too awful, only your candid side profile, and you were grateful nobody was going to be looking at you.
instead, they would be gazing at alisa's charismatic smile and perfect self.
"i'm sending this to sakusa-san!"
"huh?!" you exclaimed, jumping up and snatching the phone out of her hands. "you sent this to the whole groupchat?!" you shouted, hearing the fateful double ding, the photo followed by a look at our girl!
if your friends weren't always so sweet, you could see yourself getting pissed off. but because they loved you so much, you only felt a little embarrassed and ashamed to be seen as such next to alisa. however you knew they'd always hype you no matter the circumstances.
you heard your phone ping relentlessly as atsumu and hinata spammed the chat, followed by bokuto a few moments later. sakusa, too, was in the group but never actually made the effort to respond to anybody. this wasn't surprising either, knowing his quiet-mannered self.
to your horror, kiyoomi had actually participated in the chat, sending a laughing emoji (you didn't even know he was aware of emojis in the first place).
"this is humiliating!" you groaned, slumping back down onto the sofa as alisa's smile faded. she grasped the remote and switched the tv off, looking at you curiously.
"why? you look great!"
you smiled weakly at her, "thanks, lis," you sighed, "i just look so out of place next to you is all." pouting, alisa stepped over and pulled you up by the arms.
"never question your own value!" she pressed, "do you wanna try some of my stuff on? we're about the same size i think!"
"no, i'm okay," you chuckled, but she only raised a brow at you.
"nope, let's put you in some burberry!" she grinned, pulling you firmly off the couch and into her ginormous room that she called a closet. you huffed and wandered around the place as she rifled through her endless racks of jackets and pants, shirts and sweaters, racing around until she found a suitable getup for you. you found yourself staring at a chanel perfume set on a vanity before she said a quick ta da~!
gesturing excitedly to a heap of clothes on her bed, you found your eyes watering as you smiled at her. stalking towards the expensive set of designer items, you ran your fingertips along the soft cotton and stripes of plaid.
"what are you waiting for? put it on!" she picked up the long, plaid and beige overcoat and shoved it into your chest before walking out of the closet and shutting the door. you turned slowly to one of the many floor-length mirrors on the wall, raking your self-abusive eyes down your body and feeling your heart drop. you begun to slowly change out your denim shorts for a plaid skirt and brown belt, white tank with a same colored turtleneck, then finishing it off with the gorgeous matching plaid overcoat.
you stared at yourself with a faint blush, trying to critique every small detail about yourself for a long time, until alissa quietly cracked open the door for a peek and dramatically gasped once she laid her eyes on you.
"oh my gosh! you look so pretty!" she clapped and gestured for you to spin around. and as silly as it was, you spun awkwardly around as she snapped photo after photo.
"stop!" you said, "i look weird."
"no, you're just not used to it," she smiled, clearly fumbling with the keys on her phone where she was likely to send another picture of you.
"either way, there's no chance i'm wearing this in public." you scoffed, beginning to pull your arms out of the long sleeves.
"why not?"
"i'm...just not the sort of person this stuff is geared towards. this is all for pretty people." you chuckled, placing the article carefully down onto the table once again.
"you think you're not pretty?" she folded her arms and looked at you disapprovingly.
"not like you, i mean."
"wear it home! see what sakusa-san thinks." she said, taking the coat and draping it over your arms, wrapping her own around your shoulders from behind. "i bet he'll love it."
"no, i cant do that—"
"you can keep it all, actually," she smiled, "i can easily replace it! besides, you look breathtaking." her smile was easy to convince you, so when you awkwardly opened your front door reeking of burberry and chanel, sakusa could only stop and stare at you as you stood frozen with the door halfway open.
his eyes raked your body from head to toe, and he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.
"why are you wearing that?" he asked lowly.
"alisa gave them to me."
"i'm going to ask you again, and you better answer me," he spoke, coming up off the wall and stepping closer to you, "why are you wearing that?"
"she says i look pretty," you quietly closed the door behind you and stepped past him, "i don't feel like that, but she wouldn't let me leave without it."
"why would you think that about yourself?" he followed close behind you as you stepped into the bedroom, as you huffed angrily and started ripping the outfit off of your body. suddenly you spotted a magazine on your own nightstand, a tabloid which held alisa's face on the cover, and you gripped it and held it directly next to your head.
"why wouldn't i, when my closest friend is a constant reminder of what i should look like?"
you stared at him with wide eyes, as if looking for an answer to your question, "i'm sorry," you tossed the magazine onto your bed and sat down as sakusa could only gaze at you in guilt. "i've been a little bit too mean to myself today." you chuckled humorlessly as the silence stretched out uncomfortably between you.
sakusa sighed after a moment, stepping in between your legs and hooking a finger underneath your chin to make your eyes meet his. "i think you're stunning, and i'm not saying that to make you feel better."
you smiled and scoffed, eyes closing as he removed his finger from your skin, "thank you, kiyo."
"you're an idiot," he snapped, "comparing yourself to someone who gets paid to walk around and wear clothes. you do actual work, and that's way more attractive." he said crossly, making you laugh as he dramatically exited the room with shino trailing behind him.
you could only shake your head and change into your comfortable loungewear, hearing the two get settled comfortably in the living room.
once you stepped out of the room, you padded over towards kiyoomi and shino, who was settled on the floor and sat down next to your boyfriend.
"you really laughed at that picture?" you questioned, laying with your back pressed against sakusa's chest as he rumbled with laughter.
"yeah, i thought it was amusing," he said, draping an arm around your hip and resting his nose in the crook of your neck. "and i just knew that you would hate that picture."
"shut up."
he snorted, guiding you to face him chest to chest with his hand on your cheek. you stared up at him, his familiar warmth taking over your senses and making you smile as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
"i think you're beautiful, and that's my ninth reason."
End of ten reasons Chapter 10. Continue reading Chapter 11 or return to ten reasons book page.