ten reasons - Chapter 11: Chapter 11

the first time you told sakusa you felt safe with him was actually the night of your first confession, when miya atsumu dragged him to a frat party in his second year of college. it was the first big party that he'd attended, and to be honest he'd gotten quite bored after watching shot after shot being taken for hours with music that was louder than hell in the background.
sakusa had known you by association for a little less than a year now, and he could tell that you just adored him. you loved to pester him, to interrupt his silence, and to make teasing remarks that nobody else would. he'd roll his eyes and be short with you as normal, only because he would never give you the satisfaction of of letting you know that you were slowly breaking him down. he thought you were gorgeous and he loved to talk to you, although you were just that. you. (last name), the group's female version of miya atsumu, except that you were pretty and less annoying.
at this party, atsumu wasn't actually the one drinking, as he took athletics too seriously for that...no, it was miya osamu drunkenly wandering around, being followed by suna rintaro with a blunt in his mouth. sakusa cringed as he sat solo in his chair, and after watching atsumu egg on his brother to do his next stupid dare, he decided to get up and get away from all these people, exploring the house a bit. it was nice and looked big on the inside, but he felt extremely cramped with so many drunk young adults bumping into him.
he eventually found himself walking up the main staircase up to a hallway of rooms and sparse groups of kids in the corners. his breathing calmed to a slow pace as he walked past to find a room to sit down and chill out for a moment.
"hi!" a bright, feminine voice stopped him dead in his tracks, and he looked down to find you.
short and young, pretty and doe-eyed as you stared up at him, and he could see the wild blush even under the flashing lights around you both. he could also hear the gasping of shimizu kiyoko and alisa behind you, along with a man who didn't look too friendly. he could tell that you were beyond wasted, based on the involuntary swaying of your body and the way your mouth hung open a little farther than someone normally would.
"save me, kiyoomi!" you slurred with shaky breath, suddenly wrapping your arms loosely around his own, and he subtly recoiled into himself, very obviously to you, uncomfortable. he never outright said that you could call him by his first name, but he never complained when you did do it.
"this is him!" you grinned again, turning around to face the three, with the girls walking quickly to your side and the man scoffing in disbelief. "kiyoomi's my boyfriend!"
"oh, you probably think i'm a fuckin' idiot, don't you, girl?" he said, slowly walking up to you and leaning down into your face and speaking lowly, completely ignoring sakusa. "you're too far gone to resist me, and once i get my way with you—"
the man's voice was quickly cut off when sakusa landed a hard blow to the side of his face, grimacing after at the strain in his knuckles. the man fell to the side with a groan as alisa and kiyoko whimpered in fear and ran down the stairs, while sakusa began to walk away into one of the rooms, followed by you who was still attached to his arm.
once the door closed behind you both, you released him from your hold and stared at sakusa, who was standing at the end of the bed frame in the middle of the room, examining his hand with a frown. sakusa never would of thought he'd do something like that, much less over a girl he didn't even know very long.
"thank you so much, kiyoomi!" you exclaimed, "he wouldn't stop touching us and asked me if i had a boyfriend and where he was and—"
"please be quiet." he said, and you stood by the door silently, hugging yourself with your eyes darting around the room awkwardly. you never said a word as he paced around and eventually sat on the bed with his elbows on his knees and taking deep breaths.
"why do you get yourself into all this trouble," he said in between shallow breaths, "why isn't someone looking after you?"
"tsumu told me that either he or rin would but they're busy. i think kenma's asleep at home, but he wouldn't help me anyway. i feel much safer with you." as sakusa stared at you with furrowed brows, you came closer to him, looking for an opportunity to give your thanks. "listen sakusa...i know we aren't very close, but i appreciate you so much!" you said in an almost whiny voice.
he could smell the reek of vodka in your breath, and sighed as your eyelids dropped with each passing moment. "it's no problem." he said quietly, observing the way you fidgeted with your hands.
"no," you whined, crossing your arms across your chest with a quiet huff. "i like you so much, and i never get the chance to say anything!" your bottom lip started twitching, making sakusa sigh and stand up, reluctantly putting his hands on your shoulders.
"me too, but you're drunk and i'm taking you home."
"you like me?" you asked as his hands slipped off your frame and he started walking towards the door.
"yes." he said, his back facing you now.
you smiled and, needless to say, later that winter your second confession was the one that actually worked.
•••
the first time sakusa told you he was safe with you was actually a few moments ago, on one of the rare occasions where he was actually wrapped up in bed with you. he was sad, and the reason he was so sad was because of a little comment that atsumu had made after practice.
"kiyo, why are you taking anything he says to heart?" you asked, carding delicate fingers through his hair and down his shoulders. "you know he just says things like that to get a reaction."
"no, he's right," he mumbled pulling the bedsheets over his face.
"kiyo, even if he said that, you and i both know it's not true." sakusa only grunted in response, turning away from you so he wouldn't have to face you. "c'mon, yoomi...you are twenty-three years old, and i think your athletic peak is somewhere around twenty-five...? you're fine!" you hugged him from behind and heard him sigh. "i promise your abs aren't turning to flabs early." you giggled.
"it isn't funny, (name)." he said shortly.
"i know it's not! but that has gotta be the worst insult i've ever heard."
"shut up." he said, turning over once again to lay on his back, gripping your arms and pulling you on top of him. once you were situated on his lap, you crossed your arms over your chest and stared down at him with a raised brow, watching as he pulled up the bottom of the thin shirt he wore up to his chest. "look at me and tell me they aren't."
you scoffed, turning your attention to the heaps of toned muscle on his abdomen.
"they aren't," you told him, beginning to absentmindedly run your fingers over his skin, watching as his hard gaze turned softer. "i think you're perfect."
he blinked a few times before pulling his shirt back down, sighing in relief. "thanks."
"of course!" you smiled. "i think you're the prettiest thing to ever walk the earth." you told him, locking eyes and placing your hands on his chest.
"you're perfect," he replied, "thank you." you only nodded in response, coming down to lay on him chest to chest, and feeling that familiar warmth creep up your limbs. his arms snaked around your frame as he kissed the top of your head.
"number ten, you make me feel safe in my own skin."
"i love you." you murmured.
"i love you more."