ten reasons - Chapter 4: Chapter 4

sakusa was definitely a morning person.
he got up way earlier than you did, took a shower, went on a run, and took another shower after that. you often asked him why—only for him to make some smartass comment about 'no sweat in the bed, unless it's under special circumstances.' then he would crawl back into bed with you, who woke up hours after he did. he thought it was endearing, the way your face scrunched in your sleep when the big heap of warmth was gone, subconsciously reaching for him. then you'd sniffle, breathing returning normal a few moments later. long and heavy.
sakusa's eyes would linger on you for a little too long, and even though the sun hadn't risen yet, he could still make out every single feature on that pretty face of yours. your body was like a map of his hometown, tattooed in his memory for him to look at anytime he wanted. sakusa placed a quick kiss on your forehead and you smiled, but he couldn't tell if you were awake or not. then he began his routine as normal.
once finished with his first shower, sakusa stepped outside and stretched for a few moments, breathing in and out to prepare himself.
once starting his commute around the sidewalks of the neighborhood, sakusa could feel the warmth of the rising sun on his face as he ran towards it. he thought of you, when the windows were all the way open, letting sunlight settle onto your skin on a quiet morning, fingers grazing delicately over it. you'd get goosebumps and scold him for making you feel that way so early in the morning, and his heart would race at the sight of light surrounding you like a reverse vignette.
he'd mock you and say you're just a sensitive little thing.
and you'd call him an idiot, all the while pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
he smiled a bit, his thoughts shifting to the intersection he was about to cross. he waited, jogging in place for the signal to go, and he noticed that one of the cars was the same color as the one you drove in college.
after running across the street, sakusa was nearing one of the bigger parks in this area. he could both hear and see a striped hawk fly across the pink sky, and as he stared at it, he was reminded of another vivid memory, one of his first moments alone with you.
it was after you had so boldly asked him out, on a cold december evening in your second year, and he was so caught off guard that he just had to say yes. atsumu made fun of him for it for a long time, saying how he was too much of a coward to make the first move, and complementing you for going after what you wanted.
your roommate kenma even thought you were going to get rejected, and when you proved him wrong, boy oh boy were you annoyingly happy that day ("stop it or i'm banning you from watching me stream at the house.").
but maybe it was a good thing you were risky with what you wanted. maybe opposites do attract.
the both of you sat in your car as the sun set, and then suddenly you started freaking out when a huge swarm of birds flew overhead. "(last name)—" sakusa stuttered, watching your hurried movements to open the shitty sunroof and stick the top half of your body out the top of the car.
you ignored him, though, and continued to watch the birds fly away, only black dots against the purple colored clouds. you heaved a sigh as one larger bird, maybe a hawk or an owl, he couldn't remember, soared down towards the car and landed in a tree a few yards away. you giggled and stared at it, and sakusa could only think, "what the hell is wrong with you?"
but maybe, just maybe, he thought it was cute.
"sakusa-kun!" you laughed once you were back in your seat, tapping him on his shoulder. he grumbled and swerved away from your hand, but you didn't seem to care, only pointing towards the group of birds flying into the sun through the windshield. "do you think they're going home?"
"...maybe. why do you care?"
"that might be the last time some of those birds see tokyo!" you said sadly.
"i don't think some stupid birds care about this city."
"maybe some of them do," you turned to face him with a small smile, "maybe some of them grew up here." sakusa stared at you for a long moment before shaking his head and letting out a sigh.
"birds probably don't have the mental capacity to notice."
"i dunno, sakusa-kun~" you drawled, "it doesn't hurt to have a little hope, though."
"your mind works so weird."
you could only laugh at him over that statement.
your mind still processed things a little different than his did, but sakusa might love you a little more for it each day. he was certain that every thought that ran through your head was a beautiful one, even in your dreams.
sakusa was starting to circle back to where he'd first come from, and he passed a few shops with items and outfits in the windows. he found himself analyzing the women's section based on what you would think.
she thinks that color looks bad.
doesn't she like that material?
that might be good for the winter trip.
she'd look pretty in this one.
sakusa didn't even realize that he did it without thinking. it was almost automatic, thoughts of you plaguing his mind when you weren't there or he wasn't preoccupied. when he'd eventually got back home, he was almost tempted to skip his second shower because you looked so sweet all curled up in bed.
but he settled for just making this shower really quick but efficient, doing what was necessary but just a little bit faster. sakusa sighed as he crawled back into the mess of blankets, immediately taking you into his arms, even though he knew he wasn't going back to sleep.
he could feel your heart beating against his chest as you tucked your head under his chin, breathing him in like always.
in college sakusa used to think he wouldn't find anyone, that nobody could put up with him and just grow tired of him. but the way you needed him close, the way you spoke to him, even said his silly little nicknames think that just maybe, soulmates might be real.
or maybe he's delusional and just got lucky. he didn't really know.
his hand crawled up the bare skin of your back, and you let out a shaky sigh when he held you in place, his hand clasped around your side.
"love you...kiyo..." you mumbled, kissing wherever your lips could reach (in this case, his chest), and sakusa held on a little tighter.
"i know," he whispered back, running his fingers along your skin. he might not be able to go back to sleep, but being with you made that bearable. sakusa's eyes flicked up to the windows, where the curtains were drawn, making the light in the room stay dull and dim.
he thought of you again, and how you got mad when the sun woke you up before your body was ready, and that's why you didn't want the curtains open before bed.
how odd you were.
"reason number three," he whispered, "everything reminds me of you."
but you were already fast asleep, and sakusa hoped your dreams were as sweet as you were.