THE ALPHA WHO HATED ME - Chapter 45: Chapter 45
You are reading THE ALPHA WHO HATED ME, Chapter 45: Chapter 45. Read more chapters of THE ALPHA WHO HATED ME.
**Ronan's POV**
Sleep doesn't come. It hasn't come for three days.
I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, while her voice echoes in my head like a curse I can't break. *"I'm done with both of you."* Not angry. Not hurt. Just... finished. Like she was closing a door that would never open again.
The worst part is how she said it. So calm. So final. Like she wasn't just walking away from me and Celeste, but from everything we represented. From the whole damn world that had been crushing her since the day she arrived.
My chest aches with something I refuse to name. Every breath feels wrong, like my lungs have forgotten how to work properly. My wolf paces restlessly under my skin, whining and scratching at my consciousness like he's trying to claw his way out.
*Find her,* he whispers constantly. *Go to her. Fix this.*
But how do you fix something you're not even supposed to want? How do you apologize for choosing duty over... over whatever this is that's eating me alive from the inside?
I roll over and check my phone for the hundredth time tonight. No messages. No missed calls. Nothing from her, which shouldn't surprise me. Nothing from anyone, really, except Celeste's endless stream of wedding planning texts that I've been ignoring for days.
*"The florist needs to know about centerpieces."*
*"Mother wants to discuss the guest list."*
*"Are you okay? You seem distant."*
Distant. That's one way to put it. Like I'm drowning in an ocean and everyone else is standing on dry land, wondering why I can't just swim to shore.
I throw the phone across the room and listen to it clatter against the wall. The sound is satisfying for about two seconds before the emptiness crashes back over me.
Three days since she walked away. Three days since I chose Celeste over... over what? Over duty? Over the right thing? I keep telling myself I made the only choice I could make, but the words taste like ash in my mouth.
My wolf disagrees. He's been fighting me every step of the way, growing more aggressive and uncontrolable with each passing hour. Yesterday, I snapped at Marcus over nothing. This morning, I couldn't even look at Celeste without feeling sick.
Something is wrong with me. Or maybe something is finally right, and I'm too much of a coward to admit it.
I sit up in bed and press my palms against my temples, trying to massage away the headache that's been building for days. That's when I feel it. The bond.
It's still there, but it's... different. Weaker somehow, like someone turned down the volume on a radio. I used to be able to sense her emotions, her general location, the state of her wolf. Now there's just a faint echo, like trying to hear a conversation through water.
*Reach out,* my wolf urges. *Try to find her.*
I close my eyes and focus on the connection between us. It's been there since the moment we first met, invisible but undeniable. The moon's gift to mates, binding us together whether we wanted it or not.
But when I try to follow the thread, something stops me. Not a wall exactly, but something older. Something that feels ancient and powerful and completely foreign to anything I've ever experienced.
It's like reaching for a rope and having it dissolve in your hands. The bond is still there, but it's changing. Evolving into something I don't understand.
Fear crawls up my throat. What if she's found a way to break it completely? What if she's done with me so thoroughly that even the moon's magic can't hold us together?
The thought makes me want to vomit.
I throw off the covers and start pacing my room like a caged animal. Back and forth, back and forth, while my wolf claws at my insides and demands action.
This isn't normal. None of this is normal.
Mate bonds don't just change overnight. They don't get weird and distorted and ancient-feeling unless something big is happening. Something supernatural.
I think about the way the lights flickered when she walked away from me in the hallway. The way the air seemed to shimmer around her when she stood up to Celeste. The way her eyes had those silver flecks that caught the light like starfire.
What is happening to her?
My wolf whimpers, and I feel his fear mixing with mine. We're losing her. Not just emotionally, but literally. The bond that ties us together is fraying, and I don't know why.
I grab my jacket and keys. I need to see her. Need to talk to her. Need to understand what's going on before it's too late.
The house is quiet as I slip out the front door. My parents are asleep, probably dreaming about the perfect wedding they've planned for me. The perfect life with the perfect girl that will produce perfect little Alpha heirs.
The thought makes me sick.
The house is quiet as I slip out the front door. My parents are asleep, probably dreaming about the perfect wedding they've planned for me. The perfect life with the perfect girl that will produce perfect little Alpha heirs to carry on the family legacy.
The thought makes me sick.
I drive through empty streets, following the faint pull of the bond toward her apartment. It's past midnight, but I don't care. I need answers. I need to know why everything feels like it's falling apart.
But when I park outside her building and try to pinpoint her location, the bond goes completely quiet. Not broken, but... muffled. Like she's behind soundproof glass.
I sit in my car for twenty minutes, engine running, trying to work up the courage to go upstairs and knock on her door. What would I even say? Sorry for being a coward? Sorry for choosing my reputation over your wellbeing? Sorry for breaking your heart and then acting surprised when you walked away?
None of it feels like enough.
A movement in one of the upper windows catches my eye. A shadow passing in front of a light. But when I look more carefully, the apartment is dark. No lights on anywhere.
She's not here.
The realization hits me like a punch to the gut. The bond is pulling me toward this building, but she's not actually here. Which means either the bond is completely broken, or something is interfering with it in a way I've never heard of before.
I drive around town for the next hour, following every faint whisper of connection I can detect. The old park where we used to see each other during lunch breaks. The coffee shop where I once saw her reading alone. The school, dark and empty in the moonlight.
But everywhere I go, the trail goes cold. Like she's there and not there at the same time.
By the time I give up and head home, the sky is starting to lighten on the horizon. I've spent the entire night chasing shadows and finding nothing.
But as I pull into my driveway, my wolf suddenly goes very still. Alert. Focused.
There. A whisper of connection so faint I almost miss it. But it's not coming from any of the places I searched.
It's coming from the woods.
The same woods where I confronted her days ago. Where she slapped me and walked away and told me she was done with both of us.
I turn off the engine and sit there for a moment, heart pounding. My wolf is already pushing against my skin, demanding that I shift and run through those trees until I find her.
*She needs us,* he insists. *Something is wrong.*
The bond flickers again, stronger this time, and I catch a flash of something that makes my blood run cold. Pain. Confusion. Fear.
She's in the woods, and she's in trouble.
I'm out of the car and running toward the trees before I can second-guess myself. I don't care about consequences or what this means for my engagement to Celeste.
All I care about is finding her.
The forest is quiet except for the sound of my footsteps on fallen leaves. I follow the bond like a compass, letting it guide me deeper into the darkness.
With each step, the connection gets a little stronger. A little clearer. But it's still wrong somehow. Still distorted by something I don't understand.
As I run through the trees, branches tearing at my clothes and roots trying to trip me, the bond leads me to a clearing I've never seen before. Ancient stones jut from the earth in a perfect circle, covered in symbols that seem to glow faintly in the moonlight.
The air here feels thick. Electric. Like the moment before lightning strikes.
And in the center of the circle, I can smell her scent. Faint, but unmistakable.
She was here. Recently.
But now she's gone, and the bond between us is weaker than ever. Like whatever happened in this place severed another piece of the connection that tied us together.
I'm about to call out her name when I hear it.
A howl. But not from any wolf I've ever heard. This sound is older, deeper, filled with something that makes every instinct I have scream danger.
The howl comes again, closer this time, and I realize with growing horror that I'm not alone in these woods.
Something else is hunting tonight.
And I have a terrible feeling it's hunting her.
Sleep doesn't come. It hasn't come for three days.
I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, while her voice echoes in my head like a curse I can't break. *"I'm done with both of you."* Not angry. Not hurt. Just... finished. Like she was closing a door that would never open again.
The worst part is how she said it. So calm. So final. Like she wasn't just walking away from me and Celeste, but from everything we represented. From the whole damn world that had been crushing her since the day she arrived.
My chest aches with something I refuse to name. Every breath feels wrong, like my lungs have forgotten how to work properly. My wolf paces restlessly under my skin, whining and scratching at my consciousness like he's trying to claw his way out.
*Find her,* he whispers constantly. *Go to her. Fix this.*
But how do you fix something you're not even supposed to want? How do you apologize for choosing duty over... over whatever this is that's eating me alive from the inside?
I roll over and check my phone for the hundredth time tonight. No messages. No missed calls. Nothing from her, which shouldn't surprise me. Nothing from anyone, really, except Celeste's endless stream of wedding planning texts that I've been ignoring for days.
*"The florist needs to know about centerpieces."*
*"Mother wants to discuss the guest list."*
*"Are you okay? You seem distant."*
Distant. That's one way to put it. Like I'm drowning in an ocean and everyone else is standing on dry land, wondering why I can't just swim to shore.
I throw the phone across the room and listen to it clatter against the wall. The sound is satisfying for about two seconds before the emptiness crashes back over me.
Three days since she walked away. Three days since I chose Celeste over... over what? Over duty? Over the right thing? I keep telling myself I made the only choice I could make, but the words taste like ash in my mouth.
My wolf disagrees. He's been fighting me every step of the way, growing more aggressive and uncontrolable with each passing hour. Yesterday, I snapped at Marcus over nothing. This morning, I couldn't even look at Celeste without feeling sick.
Something is wrong with me. Or maybe something is finally right, and I'm too much of a coward to admit it.
I sit up in bed and press my palms against my temples, trying to massage away the headache that's been building for days. That's when I feel it. The bond.
It's still there, but it's... different. Weaker somehow, like someone turned down the volume on a radio. I used to be able to sense her emotions, her general location, the state of her wolf. Now there's just a faint echo, like trying to hear a conversation through water.
*Reach out,* my wolf urges. *Try to find her.*
I close my eyes and focus on the connection between us. It's been there since the moment we first met, invisible but undeniable. The moon's gift to mates, binding us together whether we wanted it or not.
But when I try to follow the thread, something stops me. Not a wall exactly, but something older. Something that feels ancient and powerful and completely foreign to anything I've ever experienced.
It's like reaching for a rope and having it dissolve in your hands. The bond is still there, but it's changing. Evolving into something I don't understand.
Fear crawls up my throat. What if she's found a way to break it completely? What if she's done with me so thoroughly that even the moon's magic can't hold us together?
The thought makes me want to vomit.
I throw off the covers and start pacing my room like a caged animal. Back and forth, back and forth, while my wolf claws at my insides and demands action.
This isn't normal. None of this is normal.
Mate bonds don't just change overnight. They don't get weird and distorted and ancient-feeling unless something big is happening. Something supernatural.
I think about the way the lights flickered when she walked away from me in the hallway. The way the air seemed to shimmer around her when she stood up to Celeste. The way her eyes had those silver flecks that caught the light like starfire.
What is happening to her?
My wolf whimpers, and I feel his fear mixing with mine. We're losing her. Not just emotionally, but literally. The bond that ties us together is fraying, and I don't know why.
I grab my jacket and keys. I need to see her. Need to talk to her. Need to understand what's going on before it's too late.
The house is quiet as I slip out the front door. My parents are asleep, probably dreaming about the perfect wedding they've planned for me. The perfect life with the perfect girl that will produce perfect little Alpha heirs.
The thought makes me sick.
The house is quiet as I slip out the front door. My parents are asleep, probably dreaming about the perfect wedding they've planned for me. The perfect life with the perfect girl that will produce perfect little Alpha heirs to carry on the family legacy.
The thought makes me sick.
I drive through empty streets, following the faint pull of the bond toward her apartment. It's past midnight, but I don't care. I need answers. I need to know why everything feels like it's falling apart.
But when I park outside her building and try to pinpoint her location, the bond goes completely quiet. Not broken, but... muffled. Like she's behind soundproof glass.
I sit in my car for twenty minutes, engine running, trying to work up the courage to go upstairs and knock on her door. What would I even say? Sorry for being a coward? Sorry for choosing my reputation over your wellbeing? Sorry for breaking your heart and then acting surprised when you walked away?
None of it feels like enough.
A movement in one of the upper windows catches my eye. A shadow passing in front of a light. But when I look more carefully, the apartment is dark. No lights on anywhere.
She's not here.
The realization hits me like a punch to the gut. The bond is pulling me toward this building, but she's not actually here. Which means either the bond is completely broken, or something is interfering with it in a way I've never heard of before.
I drive around town for the next hour, following every faint whisper of connection I can detect. The old park where we used to see each other during lunch breaks. The coffee shop where I once saw her reading alone. The school, dark and empty in the moonlight.
But everywhere I go, the trail goes cold. Like she's there and not there at the same time.
By the time I give up and head home, the sky is starting to lighten on the horizon. I've spent the entire night chasing shadows and finding nothing.
But as I pull into my driveway, my wolf suddenly goes very still. Alert. Focused.
There. A whisper of connection so faint I almost miss it. But it's not coming from any of the places I searched.
It's coming from the woods.
The same woods where I confronted her days ago. Where she slapped me and walked away and told me she was done with both of us.
I turn off the engine and sit there for a moment, heart pounding. My wolf is already pushing against my skin, demanding that I shift and run through those trees until I find her.
*She needs us,* he insists. *Something is wrong.*
The bond flickers again, stronger this time, and I catch a flash of something that makes my blood run cold. Pain. Confusion. Fear.
She's in the woods, and she's in trouble.
I'm out of the car and running toward the trees before I can second-guess myself. I don't care about consequences or what this means for my engagement to Celeste.
All I care about is finding her.
The forest is quiet except for the sound of my footsteps on fallen leaves. I follow the bond like a compass, letting it guide me deeper into the darkness.
With each step, the connection gets a little stronger. A little clearer. But it's still wrong somehow. Still distorted by something I don't understand.
As I run through the trees, branches tearing at my clothes and roots trying to trip me, the bond leads me to a clearing I've never seen before. Ancient stones jut from the earth in a perfect circle, covered in symbols that seem to glow faintly in the moonlight.
The air here feels thick. Electric. Like the moment before lightning strikes.
And in the center of the circle, I can smell her scent. Faint, but unmistakable.
She was here. Recently.
But now she's gone, and the bond between us is weaker than ever. Like whatever happened in this place severed another piece of the connection that tied us together.
I'm about to call out her name when I hear it.
A howl. But not from any wolf I've ever heard. This sound is older, deeper, filled with something that makes every instinct I have scream danger.
The howl comes again, closer this time, and I realize with growing horror that I'm not alone in these woods.
Something else is hunting tonight.
And I have a terrible feeling it's hunting her.
End of THE ALPHA WHO HATED ME Chapter 45. Continue reading Chapter 46 or return to THE ALPHA WHO HATED ME book page.