The Alpha’s Curvy Cinderella - Chapter 159: Chapter 159

Alpha Rohan POV
I was an asshole. The worst kind of scum. I could see the look of confusion on Josie’s face as I abandoned Josie in the hospital. I should have anticipated she would be pregnant and instead, I had thought that it would take time, that when it did happen I would be able to deal with my past instead of it coming back to haunt me. I closed my eyes, feeling ashamed of myself, slamming my fist into the trunk of a tree in frustration.
“f**k” I swore, my voice echoing throughout the forest, the night sky creating shadows that danced around me, the moon shining brightly overhead “f*****g i***t Rohan” I snarled, punching the trunk again and feeling the pain as my bones broke. The pain was a welcome distraction. The blood trickled onto the forest floor, a vibrant red against the muddy dirt and green grass. My heart pounded in my chest. Josie deserved better than me as her mate. She deserved somebody who could be there for her, who could protect her in the way that she needed. But my heart and my soul wanted her, no matter what and that’s what stung the most. When it came down to it, could I really force myself to walk away, leave her behind and an innocent pup, because of my own fear and feeling of ineptitude? Could I be that guy?
What happened in the past wasn’t your fault Rohan. It wasn’t either of ours. You were only a teenager back then and neither of you understood that there would be complications that would arise from it all. You have to learn to forgive yourself. You have to learn to let it go Rohan, or you’re going to be letting go of a future that would make you happy. She never would have done it, if I hadn’t pushed her or been so annoyed about it. If I hadn’t been so hellbent on having my freedom taken away from me and worrying about becoming the damn Gamma of the pack. If we hadn’t had that argument…
She made a decision that affected you both. What’s more, she failed to discuss it with you first. Are you afraid that Josie will do the same? Is that why you are trying to push her away? Or is it because you truly believe that you don’t deserve to be a father?
How can I call myself a father, when I’m responsible for the death of my first child? If Josie ever discovers that, she’s going to reject me and I don’t blame her I told my wolf moodily.
Josie is not Renae damnit! She is not a spoilt pampered little princess who is used to getting her own way. But you should have told her that you did have a mate when you were only eighteen and that she’s your second chance mate, instead of letting her believe otherwise.
I was too ashamed of what happened to Renae to ever discuss it with her! Renae’s death is on my hands! I am the one who killed her! How do I confess that to my mate without frightening her?
Silence. My wolf was quiet, sensing my distress and aware that I was close to exploding with anger and despair. Do you not think that Josie is afraid right now? She was crying when we left the room, Rohan. Can you really deny the mate bond? Would you force her hand and make her reject us, simply because you are a coward? my wolf demanded.
That stung. His tone was derisive and full of rage. He was angry with me. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths, in an effort to calm myself.
If I tell her the truth, she’ll hate me. She’ll see me for the monster I really am I argued.
The only one who thinks you are a monster is you. Renae manipulated you, tricked you, and still you insist on treating her as though she was some sort of angel. Stop treating her as though her memory is not to be tarnished and is so bloody precious. Grieve for what you lost, but don’t make our mate suffer for our mistakes. Don’t make Josie go through this alone, because you can’t let go of something that happened years ago. It’s not fair Rohan.
I don’t know how to be a father. I didn’t have the best childhood growing up I reminded him tersely who is to say that I won’t be just as bad to my own pup? Maybe Josie is better off raising our child without me. She’ll make a wonderful mother, but I can’t say that I’ll make a wonderful father. Not when I have my own parents as an example.
My wolf snorted you’re determined to feel sorry for yourself, aren’t you he said coldly your parents were abusive and alcoholics, but you are neither. Trust me, Josie loves you and that’s not going to change. She wants you to be there for her and your child. I want to be in our pups’ life. Your parents are dead Rohan, there is nobody that could possibly make you think about your old life, except for Sandra and she’s nowhere to be found.
How do I make Josie forgive me for walking away from her just now? For saying what I did and for acting the way I did? That was unforgivable of me I whispered, putting my face into my hands as rain droplets began to drop from the sky and lightly soak my clothes.
An apology would be a good start my wolf snarled, swishing his tail and looking haughtily at me in my mind a damn good one. I would wait until she’s awake in the morning and had time to calm down first though. Flowers might be a good choice he added with a frown.
Any other suggestions I asked my wolf wrily, the rain beginning to come down a little faster and a little harder, although I took no notice of my body that was shivering from the cold.
I would suggest that you remark her but because you made that comment it’s a little too soon. Grovel and beg for forgiveness my wolf advised snarkily and get on your knees if you have to, you moronic i***t.
Thanks a lot wolf, I thought with a sigh, glancing back at the pack house in the distance ruefully. Josie was no doubt up in our room, resting and I started to walk back to the house, the sky deciding it was time to pour down, drenching me completely. I sighed. It was no less than I deserved. My hair was plastered to my head, my shirt and pants stuck to my skin as I walked, my bones slowly knitting together in my hand as my wolf healed them, apparently feeling more magnanimous towards me. A flash of lightning lit the sky and I knew that we were in for a terrible storm. There was something beautiful about the way lightning lit up the sky I thought mildly and then frowned. Was it my imagination or had I seen a shadowy figure in the distance? No it couldn’t be. You would have to be crazy, like me, to be out here in this kind of weather, and the only people that should be out would be the patrol members. I shook my head. I was seeing things, I concluded, shaking my head. I needed to get out of the rain.
Another flash of lighting and another glimpse of the outline of a figure in the distance. My brows creased together. I was sure that it was real this time. I attempted to sniff but due to the rain it was impossible to pick up any scents. It wasn’t Josie, the figure was too tall and slender to be her. I picked up the pace, although the figure didn’t seem particularly threatening. They were at the front of the pack house and I moved silently, my bare feet sinking into the bare earth and splashing in small puddles of water.
Whoever it was, they waited patiently, by the door, a raincoat covering them and their hair. They had their back turned to me, looking studiously at the door. It was impossible to tell who it was, the black raincoat doing its best to hide any discernible features of the person. I couldn’t even tell if it was a man or a woman, or if they belonged to my pack. I stepped onto the front verandah and then cleared my throat. The figure moved their head slightly but otherwise remained quiet. I spoke, feeling angry and annoyed “Who are you and what are you doing at my pack?” I growled and the figure slowly turned, the words dying in my mouth as I finally got a good look at them, my chest tightening and the air around me suddenly feeling as though it had gotten harder to breathe.
What was she doing here? Was it some sort of sign or omen? I could feel my eyes widening in horror, my body stiffening as she regarded me silently. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. I could feel myself losing control, my composure completely gone. I had never thought I would see this person again and now they stood here, looking calm and composed, as though they had been on a vacation, their lips curling into a small smile.
“What…what are you doing here?” I rasped and she smiled, a cold gleam in her eyes as she c****d her head and observed me with contempt.
“Why, I’m here to see your new mate of course. Haven’t you missed me after all this time Rohan?” she drawled, sounding offended.
I hadn’t. Not one bit. She smirked and leaned in closer, while I glared at her, “it’s been far too long brother, hasn’t it? I’ve come home” she breathed as I flinched “and this time” she said, her eyes gleaming as she looked at me with triumph “I plan on staying for good. There’s no place like home, after all, is there?”
Words failed me as she turned and opened the door, heading into the pack house with ease, as though she had never left. Why had she come back, after all this time and how did she know that I had a new mate? A sense of foreboding came over me.