The Alpha's forbidden omega mate - Chapter 171: Chapter 171

Rowan POV:
“Take me, Rowan.”
Catrina’s words echoed in my head, a constant torment. I could still see her face, her soft lips, her pleading eyes.
“We should have just claimed her, Rowan. She wanted us. “
My wolf growled, frustrated. He was restless, his claws scraping against my bones, his whole body aching with a need that matched my own.
I sat on my bed, my head in my hands. I could still smell her – lavender, vanilla, a hint of something wild that drove me crazy.
I could almost feel her touch, her body pressed against mine during that dance.
“We were so close. And then you pushed her away.”
My wolf was right. I'd hurt her. I’d seen the pain in her eyes, the confusion.
And it had mirrored my own pain, the guilt that was eating me alive.
“But what else could we do? We made a promise, Rowan. We turned back time to give her a better life. A life without us.”
I groaned, remembering the words I pronounced, so clouded in my memory.
But it was a decision that haunted me, a constant ache in my chest.
I wanted her, I craved her, I needed her… but I knew it was wrong. I had to fight it.
“She’s better off without us, Rowan. We’re a curse. “
My wolf whimpered. He was afraid I’d become like my father, consumed by darkness.
I got up and paced around my tiny dorm room. It felt suffocating.
The smell of stale beer and dirty laundry was a world away from Catrina’s sweet, intoxicating scent.
She’s out there, Rowan. With another guy. A human. A weakling. My wolf snarled, jealousy burning in his voice.
I tried to push the thoughts away, to focus on my new life, on college, on pretending to be normal. But it was a lie.
I couldn’t escape who I was, what I felt. My wolf was restless, frustrated.
The mate bond was still there, under the surface, a connection that refused to be broken. But I had to resist it. For her sake.
I grabbed a T-shirt off the floor and headed for the bathroom. I needed a cold shower.
Maybe that would cool me down, clear my head.
As I stripped off my clothes, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My wolf’s eyes gleamed with approval.
“She’d like what she sees, Rowan. All this power, just waiting for her.”
The thought made a heat spread through my body, a heat that had nothing to do with the shower.
I tried to push the image of Catrina away, to block out the memories that were threatening to overwhelm me.
“No, Rowan. You can’t think about her like that. It’s wrong. You let her go.”
I stepped into the shower, but the cold water didn’t help.
The fire inside me was burning too hot, fueled by the memory of Catrina, by the need for a touch, a scent, a connection, that I’d tried to erase, but couldn’t forget.
“It’s not fair, Rowan. You gave her up. And now you’re paying the price.”
My wolf’s words were a bitter truth. I wanted her. I needed her.
But it was a weakness, a betrayal of the promise I'd made.
“Focus on something else, Rowan. Anything else.”
My hands moved, trying to find release, to quiet the ache in my soul, the burning need that wouldn't be silenced.
But even as I touched myself, it was Catrina’s face I saw, her sweet scent I smelled, her name that escaped my lips in a groan of frustration and longing.
“She needs you, too, Rowan. Even if she doesn’t know it.”
A knock on the door startled me.
“Rowan? You in there? It’s Emma.”
Her voice made me cringe. I wanted her to go away. I couldn’t deal with her now, not with the image of Catrina still burning in my mind.
“She’s not your mate, Rowan. She’s just… a distraction.” My wolf growled, disgusted.
“Just a sec, Emma!” I called out, my voice rough with frustration.
I quickly wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the door. Emma stood there, her blonde hair perfect, her makeup flawless. She looked… artificial.
Everything about her felt wrong, especially compared to Catrina's natural beauty, her sweet innocence.
“What took you so long?” she asked, her blue eyes narrowed. “Who were you talking to?”
“No one,” I said, my voice flat. “Just taking a shower.”
She looked me up and down, her gaze lingering on my bare chest.
“You’re… hard, Rowan,” she whispered, reaching out to touch me. I pulled back instinctively.
Her touch made me feel… nothing.
“Are you… thinking about me?”
“Emma, I…” I started to say, but she cut me off, pressing her lips against mine.
Her perfume was cloying, sickening. My wolf snarled, wanting to push her away.
I gently pushed her back.
"Emma, I'm… not in the mood," I said, my voice tired.
I couldn’t handle this right now, not with Catrina’s scent still lingering in my senses, the memory of her touch making me ache.
"I’m stressed about College, about the future… everything.”
“But… Rowan…” She pouted, her eyes pleading.
It was an act I used to fall for, but now… it meant nothing.
“Don’t you… want me?”
“Not tonight, Emma,” I said firmly.
I needed to get away from her, from this whole situation.
From the temptation that threatened to unravel everything I was trying to do, everything I'd sacrificed.
“I’m tired. I just… need to be alone.”
She looked hurt and confused, and for a second, I almost felt sorry for her.
But then she left, and I closed the door, the scent of her perfume fading, a reminder of the empty, meaningless life I was trying to escape.
“It’s no use, Rowan.” My wolf’s voice was a low, mournful howl.
“You can’t deny who you are. What you want. What you need.”
But I had to deny it. I had to fight it. For Catrina's sake, for my own sanity.
I had to keep reminding myself that I'd made a choice, a sacrifice, to give her a better life, a life without the burden of our world, without the darkness that clung to me.
But what if it was the wrong choice? What if you’re fighting against fate itself?
The thought was a whisper, a seed of doubt planted in the fertile ground of my heart, a seed that threatened to grow into something wild.
Something uncontrollable.
Something that could destroy me…