The Alpha's forbidden omega mate - Chapter 173: Chapter 173

Rowan POV:
“Magnus! Get your head in the game!”
Coach Miller’s voice boomed across the field, a sharp bark that cut through the crisp autumn air.
I gritted my teeth, pushing myself harder, my cleats digging into the turf as I sprinted downfield, the pigskin clutched tight in my hand.
Focus, Rowan. One play at a time.
Sweat stung my eyes, my muscles burned, but I ignored the discomfort.
This was where I belonged – on the football field,the pressure of the game a familiar thrill.
I faked a handoff to the running back, drawing the linebacker in, then pivoted, my arm cocking back as I spotted Mark streaking down the sideline.
“Magnus, throwing!” I yelled, releasing the ball, putting all my strength into the spiral.
The pigskin sailed through the air, a perfect arc, landing in Mark’s outstretched hands.
Touchdown.
“Hell yeah!” Mark roared, pumping his fist in the air as he crossed the goal line.
“Nice throw, Magnus!” Kevin, our tight end, clapped me on the back. “You’re on fire today!”
“Just like old times, huh?” I grinned, catching my breath, the familiar camaraderie, the shared adrenaline rush, a welcome distraction from the shadows that haunted me.
“You’re going to be unstoppable this season, Rowan. State championship, here we come!”
I forced a smile, the weight of their expectations, the pressure to lead, to win, a familiar burden.
Football.
It was supposed to be my escape, my passion, the one thing that made sense in this confusing world.
But even on the field, even surrounded by my human teammates, by my friends, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing, that a part of me was… empty.
“She’s the missing piece, Rowan.” My wolf’s voice, a low rumble in my chest, was a constant reminder of the bond I’d tried to break, the destiny I was trying to outrun.
No. We made a choice. We let her go. We have to move on.
But it was a lie. I couldn’t move on. Not really. Her scent, her touch, the warmth of her gaze…
It haunted me.
I saw her everywhere – in the library, in the cafeteria, even in the faces of the human girls who flocked around me, their laughter, their touch, meaningless and empty.
They’re not her. They’ll never be her.
“Alright, let’s run it again!” Coach Miller’s whistle shrilled, snapping me back to the present.
“Magnus, you’re up. Same play. Let’s see that arm!”
I nodded, taking my position under center. I had to focus.
Football was my life. It was my future. It was the only thing I had left.
“It’s not the only thing, Rowan.” My wolf growled, his voice a low, mournful sound. “But you’re too afraid to admit it.”
I blocked out his words, the ache in my heart, and called the play.
The ball snapped, and I went through the motions, my body remembering the moves, the strategy, the years of training. But my heart wasn’t in it.
My mind was elsewhere, lost in a maze of confusing memories.
Practice dragged on, the sun beating down on the field, my muscles screaming for a break.
But I kept pushing myself, desperate to outrun the shadows, to silence the whispers, to find some peace in the physical exhaustion.
Finally, the whistle blew, signaling the end of practice. I collapsed on the bench, gasping for breath, my body soaked in sweat.
“Good work, guys,” Coach Miller said, clapping his hands. “Magnus, you’re looking sharp. Keep it up.”
“Thanks, Coach,” I mumbled, wiping the sweat from my forehead.
“You’re going to lead us to victory this year, Rowan. I can feel it.” Mark grinned, slinging an arm around my shoulders.
I grabbed my water bottle and headed towards the locker room, the chatter of my teammates fading behind me.
I needed a shower, a moment of peace, a chance to… forget.
As I walked across the quad, the crowd of students parting before me, a respectful distance that was both familiar and unsettling, a reminder of the power I carried, a power I didn’t want, a burden I wasn’t sure I could handle, I saw her.
Catrina.
She was standing by the fountain, talking to a group of friends, her laughter a bright melody that pierced through the noise of the crowd, her lavender and vanilla scent, a delicate whisper on the wind, drawing me towards her, a magnet I couldn’t resist.
There she is, Rowan. Your mate.
My wolf growled, his voice a low rumble of longing, his amber eyes, a reflection of my own, fixed on her, a hunger that I couldn’t deny.
“Hey, Rowan, wait up!”
I kept walking, ignoring her.
I couldn’t let her see me, not now, not when I was so vulnerable, so conflicted. I had to stay away. For her sake. For mine.
You’re a coward, Rowan. My wolf snarled, his claws digging into my palms, his frustration mirroring my own. You’re running away from the one thing that could make you happy.
But I couldn’t help it. I was afraid. Afraid of the darkness that lingered inside me, afraid of hurting her, afraid of losing her… again.
“Rowan! Seriously, wait up!”
Her voice, closer now, made me stop. I sighed, knowing I couldn’t ignore her forever.
I turned, forcing a smile, my gaze meeting hers for a fleeting moment before I quickly looked away.
“Hey, Catrina,” I said, my voice carefully neutral.
I couldn’t look at her for too long. Those amber eyes, so full of warmth and something… more… made my heart ache. I was afraid of what I might do, what I might say.
“Hey, yourself.” She grinned, but there was a shyness in her smile that made my wolf want to protect her.
No, Rowan. Don’t even think about it. You made a promise. You have to stay away.
“What’s up?” I asked, trying to sound casual. I had to keep my distance.
“We have that… project to work on, remember?” she said, holding up a copy of Romeo and Juliet.
“Professor Davis wants us to meet today, to brainstorm ideas.”
“Right, the project.” I nodded, trying to sound interested.
But my mind was already replaying those confusing, frustrating dreams, those flashes of a life I shouldn’t remember – a life with a silver she-wolf, a life filled with danger and loss and a love so intense it made my chest ache.
It was just a dream, Rowan. A nightmare. It didn’t really happen.
But the dreams felt so real, so vivid. And the scent of lavender and vanilla, the warmth in Catrina’s eyes, the way she looked at me sometimes, like she knew me…
It all fueled the doubt, the fear, that maybe those dreams were more than just dreams.
“So… the library? After lunch?” Catrina asked.
“Yeah, sure. Library’s good.” I agreed, but my mind was already drifting back to those haunting memories, those glimpses of a future I was supposed to have erased.
What if it’s not a dream, Rowan?
What if it really happened?
What if you’re making a mistake trying to fight it?
“Great. See you then.” She smiled, a shy smile that made my chest tighten.
I felt a pang of regret, of longing, but I pushed it down.
I watched her walk away, her dark hair swaying, her slender frame drawing my gaze.
“She’s beautiful, Rowan. And she’s yours. Even if she doesn’t know it.” My wolf growled, his voice possessive.
I turned and headed towards the cafeteria, the noise and smells of the crowded room a welcome distraction from the turmoil inside me.
Focus, Rowan. You have to focus. You can’t let her distract you. You can’t let her ruin everything.
I grabbed a tray and loaded it with food, but I wasn’t hungry.
The food tasted bland. All I could taste was the phantom memory of her lips, the lavender and vanilla scent that lingered in my senses.
This is ridiculous, Rowan. You’re letting a scent, a memory, control you. You’re the Alpha. You’re in control.
“But what if we’re not?” My wolf whimpered. “What if the mate bond is stronger than our will? What if we’re meant to be together, even if it means danger, even if it means risking everything?”
“You made the right choice, Rowan. You had to. She’s better off without you, without the darkness, without the danger.” I tried to convince myself, but the doubts wouldn’t go away.
“What if it happens again, Rowan? What if you can’t protect her? What if you fail her… again?”
I slammed my tray down on the table, frustrated.
“Dude, chill. What’s got you so worked up?”
Chad, my roommate, grinned at me. He was clueless.
He didn’t understand the turmoil inside me. He was just a human, focused on human things.
“Nothing,” I muttered, looking away.
“Just… thinking.”
“About… that hot little cheerleader you were staring at during the dance?” he chuckled. My gut twisted. He was talking about Catrina.
“Catrina Blanc, right? Man, she’s a looker. And those eyes… like a storm brewing. I’d tap that.”
“Yeah, she’s hot,” Mark, another one of my buddies, chimed in.
“I heard she dumped her boyfriend. Poor sap. He’s been moping around like a lost puppy ever since.”
“Maybe she’s got her eye on someone else,” said Kevin, another wolf from my pack.
“Someone… taller. Darker. More…Dominant?” He grinned, nudging me with his elbow.
“Shut up, guys,” I growled, my voice low and dangerous.
They all looked at me, a flicker of fear in their eyes. They could sense the Alpha in me, the wolf beneath the surface.
“She’s… off-limits. Got it?”
“Whoa, chill, dude,” Chad said, holding up his hands, his laughter dying in his throat. He could smell my anger, sense the threat in my voice.
“Just… saying. She’s hot. And you… well, you’ve been acting weird ever since that dance. Like you lost your girlfriend or something.”
He’s not wrong. My wolf whimpered. We did lose her. We lost… everything.
I pushed away from the table, my appetite gone, my mind a mess of memories and regrets.
“You need to see her, Rowan. Talk to her. Figure out what’s going on.” My wolf’s voice was a persistent whisper, a temptation I couldn’t resist.
I found her in the library, sitting in the same corner where we’d worked on our project.
Her head was bent over a book, her dark hair hiding her face.
Her scent filled the air, drawing me towards her.
“She’s beautiful, Rowan. So innocent. So… perfect.” My wolf purred, his voice full of longing.
I hesitated, my wolf’s instincts battling with my human resolve.
I wanted to reach for her, to touch her, to claim her. But I knew I couldn’t. I’d made a promise. I had to stay away.
But my feet moved on their own, carrying me towards her. I couldn’t resist the pull.
“Hey, Catrina,” I said, my voice a low rumble.
I kept my eyes on the book in her hands, afraid to meet her gaze.
She looked up, her amber eyes wide with surprise.
“Rowan,” she whispered, her cheeks flushing pink. “I… I didn’t see you there.”
“Yeah, well, I’m… here,” I said, my voice rough. I couldn’t look at her for too long.
The weight of her presence, the pull of her scent… it was too much.
“Just… thought we could… you know… talk about the project.”
It was a lie, a flimsy excuse, and we both knew it.
I wasn’t there for the project. I was there for her.
Just to be near her, to hear her voice, to pretend, for a moment, that the past hadn’t happened, that the bond between us wasn’t broken.
“You’re playing with fire, Rowan. You’re going to get burned.”
My wolf’s voice was a warning, a reminder of the pain I was risking, the darkness that could consume us both.
But I couldn’t help myself. I took a step closer, drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
She’s worth the risk, Rowan. She’s… everything.
“Sure,” Catrina said, her voice a little shaky.
She closed her book, her gaze meeting mine for a fleeting moment. And in that moment, I saw a flicker of… something… in her eyes.
A spark of recognition? A hint of the connection we’d once shared?
“We should probably get started,” I said, my voice a little rough. “Professor Davis expects a lot from us.”
“Right,” she agreed, her gaze dropping to her book again. “Let’s get to work.”
We talked about the play, about the different characters and themes.
I was studying business, and Catrina was studying journalism, but we shared literature classes.
They were both human subjects, a world away from the werewolf world, from the ancient magic and primal instincts that I’d been trying to suppress.
“This is so boring,” I complained, tossing my pencil onto the table.
“I can’t believe we have to analyze every single line of this play. It’s like… torture.”
Catrina smiled, a genuine smile that made my chest tighten.
“Come on, Rowan, it’s not that bad. Think of it as… a puzzle. We have to figure out what Shakespeare was trying to say, what message he was trying to convey.”
“Easy for you to say,” I grumbled.
“You’re good at this stuff. Words, stories, emotions… it’s all second nature to you.”
She looked at me, her eyes serious.
“You can do this, Rowan. You’re smart. You just… need to focus. And… maybe… let go of some of that Alpha control-freak stuff.”
She grinned, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, and I felt a warmth spread through me, a spark of connection that made my wolf purr.
She’s right, you know. Loosen up a little. Let yourself… feel.
We talked for another hour, and for the first time since I’d come to college, I felt… engaged. Interested.
Catrina had a way of making everything feel… lighter.
More… real.
But the more time I spent with her, the harder it became to deny the truth. The mate bond was still there, pulling at me, a constant reminder of what I’d lost, what I’d given up.
“She’s your mate, Rowan. You can’t deny it forever.” My wolf’s voice was a low growl, a warning and a promise.
I knew he was right. But I was afraid.
Afraid of the darkness that was inside me, afraid of hurting her, afraid of losing her… again.