The Alpha's forbidden omega mate - Chapter 177: Chapter 177

Rowan POV:
“Rowan, are you even listening to me?”
Emma’s voice, sharp and impatient, pulled me from my thoughts.
I blinked, the professor’s words about business and finance a meaningless blur.
My gaze was drawn, as always, to the back of Catrina. Her dark hair cascaded down her back, and she was focused on taking notes.
But even from this distance, I could smell her lavender and vanilla scent.
It was a torment, a constant reminder of the bond I’d tried to break.
Focus, Rowan. You have to focus.
I was in my business class, the one Dad insisted I take to prepare me to be Alpha, to run the Magnus Hotel.
It was supposed to be my future, my legacy. But it felt empty, meaningless.
“She’s what matters, Rowan. Not this human stuff.” My wolf growled, restless and frustrated.
“Sorry, Emma,” I mumbled, forcing a smile.
I tore my gaze away from Catrina and looked at Emma, my supposed girlfriend.
Her blue eyes were narrowed, and her perfume was strong and cloying. It made my wolf snarl.
He hated it, compared to the sweet, delicate scent of Catrina.
“What were you saying?”
“I said, my dad’s throwing a huge party next weekend. At the lake house. You’re coming, right?”
Emma asked, her voice a little too eager.
She reached for my hand, but I pulled back. Her touch felt cold, alien.
“Yeah, sure, Emma. Sounds fun,” I lied. My voice was flat, empty.
Parties, girls, distractions… it all felt meaningless.
It was just a way to fill the void that Catrina’s absence had created, the ache in my heart, the longing I couldn’t escape.
“You can’t escape her, Rowan. She’s in your blood, in your bones.” My wolf’s voice was a constant whisper, a truth I couldn’t deny.
The rest of the class was torture. I tried to concentrate on the lecture, on the numbers and strategies, but it was no use.
My mind kept drifting back to Catrina, to her scent, her touch, the way she’d looked at me at the prom – that mix of confusion and longing, that spark of recognition.
And the dreams… they were getting worse.
More vivid.
More disturbing.
I’d wake up in a cold sweat, my heart racing, the smell of fear clinging to me.
I’d see Catrina, trapped and terrified, surrounded by wolves with glowing red eyes.
They were snarling, their fangs bared, and I felt this overwhelming urge to protect her, to save her.
“She’s in danger, Rowan! You have to find her! You have to protect her!” My wolf’s voice was a desperate plea.
He was reminding me of the promise I’d made, the destiny I’d tried to change.
But how could I protect her?
I’d erased her memories, severed our bond, chosen to let her go.
I’d given her a chance at a normal life, a life free from the darkness that followed me, the werewolf world that I couldn’t escape.
“You made a mistake, Rowan. You can’t just abandon her. She’s your mate. Your Luna. Your responsibility.”
The guilt was a heavy weight, a constant ache in my chest.
“Rowan? Earth to Rowan! Helloooo?” Emma’s whiny voice snapped me back to reality.
She was waving a hand in front of my face, her blue eyes narrowed.
She was a stark contrast to Catrina’s delicate scent, a reminder of the choice I’d made, the sacrifice I’d offered, the love I’d relinquished.
“Sorry, Emma,” I mumbled, looking away.
Her neediness, her expectations, felt suffocating. “What was that?”
“I said, are you going to the game this weekend? My dad got us front-row seats. It’ll be awesome!” she chirped, her voice a little too loud.
“Yeah, sure, Emma,” I said, forcing a smile.
My words were a lie. I didn’t care about the game, about her dad, about any of it.
All I cared about was Catrina.
“You’re lying to her, Rowan. And you’re lying to yourself.” My wolf growled.
The rest of the day was a blur. I went to classes, I ate lunch, I even tried to study.
But I couldn’t focus. Catrina’s face, her scent, her laughter, haunted my thoughts.
I was drowning in memories I wasn’t supposed to have, memories of a life I’d tried to erase, a love I’d tried to forget.
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I let her go?
That night, the dreams came back.
I saw Catrina trapped in a dark place, surrounded by wolves with glowing red eyes.
Their fangs were bared, their growls echoing in my ears.
I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding, the scent of fear clinging to me. It felt so real, so vivid.
I got out of bed and went to the window. The cool night air felt good against my skin.
The moon, full and bright, hung in the sky, a silver disk that mocked my pain, my confusion, my helplessness.
“She needs you, Rowan. And you need her. Even if it means defying fate, even if it means risking everything… you have to go back to her.”
I knew he was right. But the fear was strong.
The fear of repeating the past, of making the same mistakes, of hurting her again… it held me back.
“You have to choose, Rowan. Your duty… or your destiny.”
I stood there, bathed in the cold moonlight, and the scent of lavender and vanilla, faint but unmistakable, drifted on the breeze.
I left my dorm room, ignoring Chad’s sleepy protests. I couldn’t explain where I was going, why I had to leave.
He wouldn’t understand. He was human.
He lived in a world of parties and football games and meaningless hookups.
I walked for hours, the cool night air soothing my burning skin.
The moon was my only guide, its silvery light illuminating the path ahead.
I didn’t know where I was going, not exactly.
But my wolf led the way, his instincts pulling me towards Catrina…