The Alpha's Gamble - Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Even though he had me in a chokehold and I could feel him fighting his restraint as his fingers pressed around my throat, all I could think about was his touch and the way that he immediately quieted my mind. I didn’t close my eyes, I was proud of that. But I also didn’t fight him or push him away because I didn’t want him to let go. There was a predatorial fire in his eyes and the glare…holy shit…he was angry as fuck but all of that slowly withered when he pressed himself unto me.
His chest rose and fell, his breathing was getting faster, but he wasn’t flustered. Was he enjoying himself or did he want to kill me? I hated that I couldn’t tell.
I wanted him to lean in, I wanted to taste him, to feel him like I always did when he was close. And then later, when he let go, I could hate him, loathe him for all that he was but I couldn’t do that when he was touching me.
“Why is your heart racing?” he asked.
“You startled me,” I didn’t sound scared enough, shit. Maybe I should add a tremble or force a gasp. I could do that.
I couldn’t tell him what’s in my head. That would be sick.
He might let go and then the voices would come back. No, I couldn’t risk that.
“You’re lying.” Yup.
“Tell me the truth,” he said lowly and stepped closer. Our bodies pressed against each other, and his other hand rested on my waist, gently tugging my hips against him. Noah was losing control and I don’t think it will end in a catastrophic outburst or violent resolve. The control he's losing is drawing him to me, not away from me. He wanted this too but he’s holding himself back.
“Why is your breathing so hard?” I asked, looking into his eyes.
I cocked my head but his grip around my throat tightened, and he pressed me back.
“Because you pissed me off.”
That sounded about right.
But it wasn’t all.
“What else?”
“Nothing.” He answered.
“You’re lying,”
He pressed his lips into a firm line and took deep breaths through his nose.
Noah leaned in, his lips hovered over mine and I drew a sharp breath when he dug his fingers into my waist. Whatever battle he's fighting with himself, he’s losing.
Please lose.
He pulled my hips against him, pressing himself closer, and parted his lips as a warm breath brushed over my face. The heat rushed through my body, up my neck and no doubt tinted my cheeks but that wasn’t what worried me. It was the heat that spread down between my legs and sent tingles through my wet folds that had me squeezing my legs together and swallowing over the growing lump of desire.
Why, out of all the people in this pack, did it have to be him that made me feel this way? In school, I’d see Noah around, but when I started dating Landon, Noah went off to the Alpha Academy, so we never saw each other. Before that, he always hung out with their group and his girlfriend, Olivia. Just a few months before he went away, Olivia moved as well because her mother got a job opportunity teaching at one of the most prominent universities in the States. It was for humans, but a big opportunity, nonetheless.
They split up, Noah left, and we didn’t see each other until now. Until my mother decided to move in with his dad. Until everything fell apart more than it already had. Now that I knew this, what Noah did for my withering sanity, how could I be expected to let it go?
At the same time, I couldn’t act on it because we lived together, he’s the future Alpha and everyone knew that when Olivia returned, she would be the Luna of this pack. There’s no place for me in his life. But there didn’t have to be. Maybe I could just enjoy him for a little while, use him for the calm that he brought to my hell, relish in the quiet and serenity of his touch while it lasted.
Maybe I could use him as Landon used me, like we used each other.
Fuck it.
I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in, our lips crashed against each other in a heated passionate kiss and the first two seconds sent a wave of terror through me, wondering if he would pull away and look at me like the mess I was.
Instead, he moved his fingers up my neck and pressed against me harder, he parted his lips and engulfed mine, pushing his tongue in as he started tasting me.
It was heated, passionate, a blinding fire that I needed more of.
I grabbed onto the hairs on the back of his neck and fisted his shirt to bring him even closer. I wanted to fuse us together, we weren’t close enough or maybe it was the clothes that were in the way.
He let out a raspy moan and the sound entered my mouth and caused the pulsating need between my legs to throb relentlessly.
Our tongues swirled with each other, our lips moved like we were starving; he dug his fingers into my waist and moved his hips against mine, a moan escaped my lips, and something ticked in him. Noah cupped my cheek and fisted my hair but I wanted more. I needed more.
I pulled on the hem of his shirt, lifting it up, ready to take it all the way, even if it was just for one day. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but I was desperate to feel him in every way I could and have him on me for as long as he would allow me, to remain in the stillness of what used to be normal. When I lifted his shirt, dragging it up his front, he grabbed my hands and stopped me. He stopped me.
I froze, mortified because I knew what he was about to say. He wasn’t interested, he didn’t want it. He was thinking about someone else.
What the fuck was wrong with me.
“let’s just…” he said breathlessly and rested his forehead against mine.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” I said and wrapped my arms around myself, wishing I could sink into the floor and disappear.
“No, no, please don’t be.” He cupped my face, roughly pushing against me before he backed away.
We didn’t speak and I tried my best to look anywhere but at him.
Footsteps were quickly approaching the door, Noah grabbed my arm and yanked me away just when the door flew open. Logan stood in the hallway, his lips parted like he was desperate to say something, but he bit his tongue and flickered his eyes over me and Noah.
A grin spread on his face and a small groan left his lips, this might be the first time I've seen him uncomfortable, but I wanted to kiss him for coming in when he did and breaking up the awkwardness.
“This might be the shitiest time for me to say this,” he said and locked his eyes with Noah. “But Olivia and her family are back. They just returned,”