The Alpha's Gamble - Chapter 36: Chapter 36

MADELINE
I closed the door carefully. With soft and decisive steps, I walked over to my bed, calmly sat down, and grabbed one of my pillows- pressing it against my face. And then I screamed bloody murder and beat the pillow up, I might or might have envisioned that it was someone's face until the first few feathers broke free and fluttered around the room. Each hit got stronger. I kicked and bit and screamed until the only thing left in my hands was the pillow cover, and the feathers were all scattered around me in the air, getting stuck to everything they landed on.
How could I have been so stupid? Again!
What the hell was my problem when it came to these guys? I knew about Olivia, I knew she was coming back but why the fuck didn’t my dumb brain warn me that when she did come back, he would go running to her like a moth to a fucking flame. Of course he would; it had always been them, it would always be them.
And here I was, beating up a pillow and trying to out-scream the voices in my head. The thought of drilling something through my ear and into my brain became more and more appealing.
The room was a mess and I felt bad for the cleaners who would need to take care of it, so I decided to take care of it myself before they got a chance. I couldn’t risk them telling on me. I’ve heard the whispers around the house, the digs they take at my mother and me like we’re one and the same. All of them are waiting for Jack to get bored of her and kick us out, for the next one to move in, and I'm sure they were hoping for one without a kid.
The bookshelf stood spotless against the wall with pictures, family pictures that my mother had framed and put in there. I glared at them, the fire fueled my anger and I stormed over, grabbed the corner of the bookcase, and pulled until the screws attaching the shelves to the wall came off, and everything fell off the shelves when I knocked it to the floor. The frames shattered, books I had never read in my life flew out of their spots and all the little trinkets mom had bought to make me feel more at home cracked when they fell to the floor. She had bought porcelain flowers and swans, pretty little candleholders in the shape of pink roses, and book holders symbolizing two ballerinas. I don’t know who she thought of when she bought them but it sure as hell wasn’t me.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked pretty clothes when they suited my taste and candle holders that sparkled under the fire- I was a girl but not the girl she had hoped she birthed. She wanted the frills and pretty braids tied with a bow, the pretty floral dresses in every pastel color ever made, and the ballet lessons instead of warrior camp.
What a disappointment it must've been for her when got me.
The crash-out helped a little but not completely, so I pulled open the closet doors and looked at the rainbow-covered vomit that was taking up all the space. My own clothes were in drawers, mom said it was better if they weren’t on display in case someone ever looked in there. Who the fuck would look in my closet?
I tore them out three at a time, hearing the fabric rip as I pulled them from their hangers and if they didn’t rip, I just tore them apart in my hands. My sanity was slipping, piece by piece, my mind was diving deeper into the abyss and I couldn’t control it.
The tears worked their way up my eyes and the first sob peeled out when I ripped the last dress to shreds.
It was a mistake getting that close to Noah. After that first time when he touched me, I should’ve known to stay as far away as possible, I should’ve run or hid or done everything I could to keep my distance. But instead, I inched closer every chance I got, and look where that got me. It all started because of that damn sex tape, and I wasn’t even sure if they had taken care of that yet. Did Landon still have it, or did they make him delete it?
If they had, then I could go back to ignoring them like my original plan had been.
I opened the drawer where my clothes were and saw the black maxi skirt with a slit that went up the side, all the way up to my hip.
Pulling open another drawer I took out a black lace bra top that always made Landon fall at my feet; he said it made my tits look like they had been touched by the goddess. He wasn’t wrong.
Staring at the clothes in my hand, I was finally starting to calm down. I’m not staying in the mansion with them, I’m definitely not going to join some dinner where everyone pretends to be friends.
Where Olivia will surely suck Noah’s face, and they’ll giggle at some inside joke.
The thought alone made me barf.
I threw the clothes on the bed and jumped in the shower. The warm water softened my skin, and I did the work, scrubbing, shaving, double washing, and hair mask, and when I got out, I lathered myself in vanilla-scented body oil and moisturizer.
There was a club not too far out of the pack, often frequented by both humans and werewolves and tonight I would get shitfaced and dance my ass off, letting everything unfold as it will.
I dried my hair, put on my outfit, and felt the smirk grow on my lips when I checked myself out. Who knows, maybe I’ll find a distraction for the night.
The bag had everything in it that I needed, I tossed down my phone and finally, I was starting to feel something other than rage. A giddiness spread through me and I opened the door, already tasting the tequila on my tongue, when it looked like someone had put a wall up outside my room. This day had not been in my favor, and it didn’t look like it was about to get any better when I saw his face. I groaned and threw my head back when I saw Logan sizing me up and down, his eyes darkened and his lip twitched while he stepped closer.
“Where do you think you’re going looking like that?”