The Alpha's Gamble - Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Logan was clean and proper, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his chest like a second skin. The silver Rolex on his wrist had me forcing back an eye-roll, I had to play my cards right and be on my best behavior right now. If logan ran off and told on me, I could kiss my club night goodbye.
Instead of coming up with a lie, I just stepped closer and shrugged my shoulders.
“If you promise to behave and not get us in trouble, you can come with me,” He flickered his eyes across my face, and his brows furrowed.
“Come with you where?”
“I’m going clubbing. There’s a place not too far from here that never disappoints,”
He chuckled and bobbed his head.
I was expecting some retort or douchy reply, probably both, but when he looked over my head and into the room, his jaw fell open, and without a word, Logan pushed me aside and let himself in.
Standing in the middle of the room he spun on his feet and stared wide-eyed at the mess- I was planning on cleaning it up once I got back. Or tomorrow after the hangover had subsided.
“Maddie, what the…” his voice died down and he grabbed a feather that fluttered in the air, holding it up like I hadn’t seen it before.
“What?” I asked.
“Did you shift in here?”
That was a dumb question, I didn’t have my wolf. A surge of excitement shot through my chest because next week, I wouldn’t be able to say that anymore.
I wondered how she’d look, the color of her fur, how her voice would sound. Though another voice in my head was the last thing I needed, still I was holding out hope that when she took her place, finally waking up and merging with me, her presence would overpower the voices that kept pushing me toward the edge. Maybe then it’ll finally be quiet, and it will just be the two of us.
“Maddie!” Logan’s voice bounced against the walls, and he hurried over.
“What?!” my voice rose in agitation, and I stared at him like the annoyance he was becoming.
“Why did you trash your room?” the vein in Logan’s neck was throbbing and the feather was still pinched between his fingers. The tips of his ears were flaming red and his thick brows drew together, but why was he getting frustrated? It was my room, I was allowed to trash it. I’m sure he’s trashed his room at least ten times.
It would surprise me if he hadn’t.
Now what do I answer him? I couldn’t tell him the truth, I couldn’t say that the voices in my head were so loud it felt like a nuclear war pounding away in my mind, or that the sight of Noah and Olivia sent me into a spiral where I lost control. No, the all-consuming rage I felt wasn’t anybody’s fault, it was my own.
All because I couldn’t make the right decisions, because I was constantly digging myself deeper into the madness that I was desperate to escape. How did I explain that? I couldn't.
He wouldn’t understand how these voices were constantly laughing at me, pushing me down, sitting on my chest until I couldn’t breathe.
If anything, he’d have me admitted to one of those institutions where humans end up when they tell someone that they hear voices. It’s never a good sign. I knew I wasn’t crazy, or maybe I was, but it was the never-ending pain and anger, the constant feeling of things never improving, that made me tremble.
“Maddie?” his voice softened, and he grabbed my shoulder.
“What happened in here?”
“I trashed the room,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. The why was irrelevant.
“Why?” like I said, irrelevant, he didn’t need to know.
“I’ll clean it up tomorrow, but I have to go,” I fixed my bag and imagined the music and the people, the alcohol and the mindless dancing. I couldn’t get there fast enough.
I stepped out into the hall and straight into a hard chest. The wind blew against my back when Logan ran past me, and I tilted my head back to look up at him. I raised a brow and smiled because I knew that one way or another, I was getting out of here before the house was filled with a bunch of people I had no interest in getting to know.
“Are you coming with me? Or maybe you want to stay and keep Noah and Olivia company at dinner. I can imagine that the talk around that table will be invigorating,”
Logan snarled, and a growl rumbled from his chest.
Checkmate.
“let’s go,” I said victoriously and closed the door behind me.
We walked through the house and I found myself peeking into the rooms where Noah and Olivia might be hanging around in but there was no sign of them.
“They’re in his room,” Logan’s voice dripped with boredom. It was clear that he didn’t like her, but why? It was his brother’s girlfriend and from the few seconds I engaged with her, she didn’t seem too bad. Other than the fact that she was madly in love with Noah, which in itself wasn't a problem, I was just making it one.
“I didn’t ask,” I said as we headed outside. Logan raised a brow and scanned my face.
He opened the door for me before he got in behind the wheel.
I was tapping my feet against the floor and could barely sit still, all I could think was that soon, within thirty minutes, the voices in my head and the anger and the thoughts would all be drowned and forgotten for a moment.