The Alpha's Gamble - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

There was no way I could describe Noah’s eyes right now, the way they looked at his brother like a message of death, then slowly dragged over the wall before landing on me. My legs felt like jelly, trembling beneath me, barely keeping me upright. If I said anything, he’d snap. He was barely hanging onto his control, and I didn’t want to make it worse.
Jack walked around his desk and over to the bookcase. He dragged a finger across the spines of leather-bound books and stopped at a marble vase separating them. The vase had engraved vines stretching around it, thorns and shackles bound by a ring. Jack turned it, centering the spiral on the front, then grabbed the book next to it. From the way his hands weighed down and his head hung with torment, it looked like the book weighed a ton. He dragged his feet as he walked over to me, barely looking me in the eyes as he handed it over. On the cover was a ring, a perfect circle aligned with golden flecks on torn brown leather. A strap was tied around a deer tooth to keep it sealed, and I didn’t miss the flecks of dust resting on the back.
“Everything you need to know, and everything you will need to prepare, is in here. Read it and then read it again. Read it until every word is engraved in your mind, until you can recite every paragraph, rule, and instruction.” His chest puffed out with a deep breath before he paused. “Until you can recite every warning,” Jack said.
I took the book and held it to my chest. I smiled. This wasn’t on Jack, even if it would’ve been easy to blame him, to hate him for whatever I had been coerced into. But I couldn’t. This was on me. On me, Logan, and Noah. No one else.
“I will. Thank you,” I said.
His eyes hardened, and his fingers coiled. “Don’t thank me ever again. Not for this.” He warned.
What the fuck was I in for?
He huffed and turned to his eldest son, the one who looked like he was about to shift any second. “There is one more thing. Because of the stunt you pulled, and all the lives you took as a result of your careless choices, I have decided to revoke your right to claim the title.”
“What?!” Logan and I said in unison. This had to be a joke.
He couldn’t do that. The title was rightfully Noah’s, and he hadn’t done anything wrong. Not this time. The bar situation wasn’t his fault. It was me, Logan, and Nate who decided to fuck things up so badly, Noah just cleaned up the mess. There was no getting out of there without killing them; they were planning to kill us. But I… I couldn’t kill them. Noah could, and he did.
“You piece of—”
“Logan, enough!” Jack growled. “Until you’ve proven yourself to be the responsible leader this pack needs, the leader I thought I raised you to be, you will remain a warrior. And I will postpone my resignation as Alpha.”
No. No, no, no. Fuck no.
Despite my better judgment, I looked past Jack and saw my mother beaming behind the desk. She looked so damn proud, because she would still be the woman dating the Alpha, not the man who used to be Alpha. She was behind this. I knew it, even if the words would never come from her mouth.
“It brings me no pleasure to do this, son. But I have always been abundantly clear about the expectations of a leader, and you have not proven yourself worthy to carry that burden.”
“I understand. I respect your decision.” Noah clasped his hands behind his back. Why wasn’t he fighting back? Logan looked as confused as I was, and when Noah stayed silent, Logan took a step back like he had taken the blow of their father’s words. When did things get more fucked than before? Somewhere in the mess of thinking things couldn’t get worse, I missed the exit to the absolute shitstorm we were standing in now.
“You’re all dismissed,” Jack said, waving his hand and dragging a palm over his tired face.
Logan crossed the office to the door. I followed, but Noah didn’t move. My mother, who was now embracing Jack, turned her head, surprised that we weren’t following orders.
“This isn’t about us,” Noah said, eerily calm. It made me bite down on my tongue.
“You’re afraid because the Russian showed his face. This isn’t about the lives we took, you care as little about humans as I do. It’s not about blood spilled. It’s about the lack of trust your people would have in you if they ever found out Volokov was here. They would crumble in fear, and you know you wouldn’t be able to handle that. Because you, too, are afraid. Do what you want, revoke my title, throw Madde into the Ember Ring and watch her get ripped apart, fuck Clara and call it love, but don’t pretend you’re doing any of it for a reason other than your own shortcomings. That’s just embarrassing to the men who have to call themselves your sons.”
I stood in the doorway, hands tightly grasping the book, looking between Noah and our parents. Shock and shame twisted Jack’s face. Displeasure darkened my mother’s eyes; how dare Noah speak that way? Those were probably the exact words running through her head. And Logan… he looked at his brother like he was a god.
“Honey,” my mother said. Her voice scraped my ears like razor blades.
“Yes?”
“I heard your father is back.”
“So?”
“Have you met him?” Her tone had an edge that I met head-on.
“I did. Did you? Or did you bark enough orders at Jack that you didn’t have any left for him?”
A soft laugh peeled from her lips. “You are not to see him again. Is that clear?”
This bitch. No part of me wanted to see my father again, but it wouldn’t be because of her orders. That man was still half of me, and she had no right to decide whether or not I met with him.
I stepped back in, but Noah placed a hand on my back and nudged me forward. Logan held the door open and stepped aside, letting Noah lead me out before he closed it behind us.