The Alpha's Gamble - Chapter 78: Chapter 78

MADELINE
When I walked back out into the room, it was empty. Noah left, for which I was glad. But that left me to think, to drown in these fucking thoughts that I was too tired to even think about. I hadn’t felt Nasha since the attack in the woods, and, ugh, she attacked Noah and Logan. No matter how hard I drag my hands over my face or try to burn the memories away from my mind, I can’t. Not the visuals, I mean, I don’t remember anything. But the look on their faces in the office when they told me. Fuck. I’ve never been so ashamed in my life. Why was she after them? Not them. Him. Noah. Logan only attacked because he got in the way, but I remember how it felt sitting in the backseat and watching her go on a bloody rampage, trying to rip their hearts out.
The more I sat with it, the more the pixels started turning into pictures, and the memories were forming. Nasha was running, attacking, biting, drawing blood, and nothing stopped her.
She hasn’t answered me since. It’s like she’s gone into hiding, and the whole thing just freaked me out, because what do you mean she can hide in my mind? My mind!
It’s mine. She was there, hiding out somewhere, and I couldn’t sense her or talk to her. She was shutting me out, and now it just felt like I had an intruder living in there rent-free, a murderous tenant who could flip her lid anytime she wished and paint the walls red with the blood of victims.
I’m supposed to be able to hear what she’s thinking, no? At least that’s what I’ve heard. But none of what I’ve heard has turned out to be reality for me. Maybe she was recalled, pulled back into wherever the fuck these wolves come from and my real one is on her way. I know that’s not how it works. Our wolves are with us when we’re born, they’re just dormant. One day, when we’re eighteen, they wake up and we connect. And sometimes, when you’re unlucky and born with the misfortune of a thousand stars, your wolf is a homicidal bitch who hates your guts and wants to slaughter her soon-to-be Alpha.
What a fucking mess.
The water drips on the floor while I get dressed, and I couldn’t be bothered to blow-dry it, so I just flip it around into a bun and head out for a walk. When I open the door, I see two shoulders on either side of the frame and look at the warriors I’ve trained with my whole life, standing with straight backs and void expressions.
“Hi?” I set foot on the threshold, tasting the air and feeling the grass tickling my feet in the freedom that awaited me outside of these suffocating walls, but the warriors turned like soldiers, perfect unison, unyielding strength and they blocked the door.
“Sorry, Maddie. We can’t let you go.” The scoff blurts out without a single gag, and I watch their faces remain unbothered.
“I’m just going for a walk.” Why are these two boulders standing watch outside my door? It’s like a fucking wall placed right outside. What were they afraid of?
Alright, fine, I get what they’re afraid of, but I couldn’t feel her anymore, and as long as I didn’t provoke a shift, they were safe.
“You’ve been confined to this room. It was this or the dungeon. We have orders to take you to the cell if you don’t comply with the sanctions.”
“You’re serious?” I gasped. He nodded, slow and stern. I’ve never felt more like a villain. My own former combat partners were guarding me. Not even guarding me, they were guarding the others, from me.
“Step back inside, Torrance.” Torrance? Really? Using my last name like that was just rude.
I’m guessing that if I take them down, I’ll have five more on my ass before I reach the stairs. At least they didn’t shove me back, so it gave me a minute to contemplate if it was something I wanted to risk, but ultimately, I knew the stakes, and I hated losing.
The door closed in front of me, the warriors turned back into position, and the room somehow seemed even smaller now. The air was sucked out by traitor 1 and 2 out there, the walls were on rails, closing in, about to crush me into a pool of mush. I’m sure they’d all feel much safer if I were in the dungeon, so for that, I owe Noah a lot. He went against his father to keep me out of there.
Thinking about being in that dark, damp hell was enough to make me queasy, so I tried not to.
They should create a return policy on these wolves, or at least a delete function so I could live my life as a human. As long as she was in there, there was nothing I could do. I would always be a walking time bomb. Everyone would turn away, cross the streets, they wouldn’t dare do anything different out of fear of being killed. I wouldn’t either.
That’s what sucked. I understood the fear; it was instilled in us early on in life, and werewolves with loose cannon wolves were nothing short of a bacteria that needed to be dealt with.
And I would be, in a few weeks in the Ember Ring.
“Why not just end it?”
Nasha slithered her way out of hiding, her voice echoed a wheezing breeze in my ears and I froze in the center of the room.
“Look who’s back.” I snarled.
“Listen to you, a pity party of the royal class. If you suck that hard, why not just do the world a favor and disappear from it?”
“What is wrong with you?”
“You said it yourself; everyone hates you, those who don’t are afraid of you. And that small one percent who don’t give a shit about you, what will they think when they hear that you tried to kill their next Alpha? Rocks will be thrown at your head, wolves lined up to take a big juicy bite.”
“I didn’t attack him. You did.” My heart was slamming against my ribs, and I swear I heard a crack.
“Sure, tell them that, see how they back away in understanding.” Her laugh burned the hairs in my earways, pushed against my mind in stabbing slits.
“You’re pathetic, Maddie. Useless. Your only aspiration in life was to go to the Academy, and now you don’t even have that.”