The Emancipation of a Fuckboy - Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Lance
"Hey," I was busy fixing my stuff when I heard someone speak from behind. The filler music from the main bar is already banging, but the voice reigned supreme and thoroughly sounded extremely familiar that it made me flinch for a second.
"Vincent!" I exclaimed. I don't want to turn around, but I did, and I was almost frightened the moment I laid my eyes on him. Why does he keep on sneaking to my gig just like that? Who the hell gave him permission to show up uncalled-for?
"How are you?" He was smiling almost a little bit shy, which inadvertently drowned my fear in an instant. It was the kind of smile that I fell in love with—the type of smile that seemingly lacked self-confidence but works seamlessly, at least to me.
"I'm doing fine," I answered as I finished packing my stuff. "How about you?"
"Almost fine," He replied. "Hey, Lance, uhmm. Do you mind if I buy you a drink?"
"A drink?" I swallowed dryly. I feel like I just sucked my own tongue. Is this dude for real? Vincent Grande is asking to buy me a drink seven years later? I don't know if this is a good idea at all. "Uhm, I kind of..."
The first time I said yes to Vincent, I was naïve, and it got my heart shattered to smithereens. And the last time I agreed to Vincent's proposal, I got totally wasted, and I don't even know what happened after that which is also the reason why I feel like I don't want to talk to him much less see him. I almost believed that I was born to attract misery and rejection. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm the one who keeps on following that very same path that I know will only cause me to become miserable. Half of me wanted to say no to him, but the other half wanted to say yes, after all, I have nothing to lose and possibly something to gain.
"Please?!" Vincent begged, looking at me straight in the eye. There's something in the way Vincent pleads that quite attracts me to say yes no matter what.
"One drink," I mouthed imploring some conviction. "Just one drink and that's it" I guess every time I say yes to Vincent; I always get myself in a fucked up situation. But I don't know why the hell I like it. I don't know why the hell I'm addicted to just saying yes to him even though I already know it will only screw me over.
"For real?!" He oinked, and I can feel how happy he was that I agreed. I was smiling deep inside. If I could just break down these walls that I've built and express how joyous I am that he's back, I would gladly do it. But I don't want to be the feeble one. I don't want to be the one who gets hurt once again in the end. I want to be the one they sought for.
"One drink!" I repeated feeling rather powerful. I'm fully aware that I'm about to jump into the ocean swarmed with hungry sharks. I guess I just have to hope and pray that those sharks don't attack me.
For once in my miserable life, I'm not the one who's attempting to claw their way back to someone. The feeling is not the greatest but not that terrible either. I followed Vincent as he led me to the bar. Perhaps this is the closure that I've been seeking for how many years, and it's digging its way to me finally. Probably after this, I'm going to be okay. Perhaps, Vincent did look back in the past and is here to finally get me back. Perhaps, the stars have conspired to let us continue what we started. I'm very much hopeful.
"Hey, where's the guy here?" Vincent asked, calling for the attention of the busy bartender.
"Uhm, sorry. Who?" The bartender asked.
"The one with the grey eyes? We were just drinking beer here a while ago." Vincent replied as we both settled down on the high chair. I was thinking there's only one person I know that has grey eyes. Don't tell me, no, that's quite impossible.
"Oh, he just left with another guy."
"Oh, okay," Vincent seemed a little bit surprised as I was. "I thought he said he's alone."
"You're with someone?" I couldn't help my curiosity.
"No, I came here all by myself I just happen to bump into Dominic here a while ago."
"Dominic?" I shot at him wide-eyed. Dominic is here? How's that even possible? I haven't seen him in like five years.
"Yeah," Vincent nodded.
"What is he doing here?" I asked. I know Dominic went to Singapore, but it's obvious that he's back.
"I don't know, he's drinking alone."
"I mean, I thought he's in Singapore."
"Yeah, he told me he just came home last week" Vincent answered.
"Okay"
What are the odds? Vincent and Dominic drinking together at my gig. Two of the guys that I had feelings with. Vincent ordered beers for us, and we continued having a small talk. I just thought this is somewhat strange. I thought he came here to tell me something important, but here we are only talking irrelevant things. A part of me wants to trigger him to cut to the chase and just tell me what he came for so we'll be done here in just a matter of seconds. The other part of me wants to just keep it cool and chill and let him find his own momentum, maybe he's struggling to find the opening. I just waited for him to finally feel comfortable and tell me what he came here for.
"Lance," Vincent said, looking straight at me. He went quiet for a moment and just stared at me that I began to feel uncomfortable.
"What?"
"I know it's too late for me to say this to you, but I just want to say sorry about what I did to you" Vincent finally began. His tone was serious enough to capture me.
"I waited for this," I mumbled under my breath, almost inaudible that he didn't catch it. I've been hurting for too long and the time has come for Vincent to finally heal me.
"I was too scared to be judged for being gay. I know I should've explained it to you rather than just leaving you hanging in the air. You of all people would understand me, but I was just too scared, and I didn't know what to do."
"Vince," I called his name, but he brushed it off and continued with his speech.
"I'm so sorry, Lance. If I could just turn back time, I will go back and fix everything. I will go back and tell you that it's not your fault. I will go back and love you the way you deserved to be loved."
"Vincent, it's okay, it's okay."
"I know what I did to you was unforgivable, but I am here to make it right to you. I am terribly sorry for what I did."
"Vincent, listen to me. It's okay. People make mistakes, and I forgive you. You did tear my heart to pieces, but I forgive you" I trailed feeling somewhat satisfied that this is happening. I should be feeling sad, but I don't know why I feel somehow lighter. I don't why I feel relieved.
"One more beer then?" Vincent offered.
"Why not."
We ended up having three more beers, had a decent conversation, and shared some laughter before finally deciding to leave the place. Vincent and I went from strangers to lovers to strangers. Right now, I don't know what we are. Friends probably? But I guess this is better than strangers. This is way much better than not talking.
We got into his car and the next thing I know I was kissing him. He kissed me back. It quickly brought some steamy memories. We both moved away from the kiss after a few seconds, stared at each other for a brief moment and then suddenly we burst into laughter.
"You know what I missed that," Vincent said as he started the engine.
"I missed that too," I nodded in agreement, but this time something is evidently different about us. I feel like that was the one kiss that sealed everything. Suddenly the company of Vincent wasn't that uncomfortable or painful at all. I looked at him one last time, and it's extremely strange. We used to know each other. We've already seen each other naked, and we even went beyond what someone could only imagine. I don't feel anything towards him anymore.
"You tasted more mature," Vincent uttered.
"You tasted the same" I blubbered, and we both chuckled.
"I feel like I should've apologized to you earlier."
"Shut up, can we just not talk about it anymore?"
"I guess you're right."
That kiss finally marked the end of everything. It marked the end of my pain, but also it marked the start of a new friendship.