The Emancipation of a Fuckboy - Chapter 46: Chapter 46

Vincent
The hot water trickling down on my dry and dirty skin touched me with such a refreshing sensation that I've been missing for several days. The soap felt pleasant and delicate as I let its smoothness roam throughout my skin. I don't know why I haven't been taking a shower for almost five days. In fact, I don't know what's going on with me. It's been a week since the day that I decided to let this beast named loneliness inside my unit, and it has completely taken over me. It has successfully shackled my feet and arms, completely preventing me from doing a lot of things that I used to do. I don't feel like doing anything at all. I don't feel like attending my classes, and I'm starting to miss a lot of them. I don't feel like I want to go out and have some fun like I used to do. Day after day, I feel like I'm losing a single part of me.
I'm still trying to accept the fact that Keiran and I aren't really going to get back together anymore. And the process of that has taken a toll on me. I feel like a worthless human being and pondering about the thought that I was the one who ruined our relationship makes it even more agonizing and regretful. Keiran didn't deserve what I did to him and now that I'm paying the price. The wrath of remorse isn't holding back on me.
I stayed under the shower for almost twenty minutes, noting to myself that I just want to enjoy the solitary confinement offered by these four tiled walls. A few moments later, and my hunger became unbearable. I did everything quickly, and as I emerged out of the shower, I rushed and slipped on some clean clothes before eventually heading towards the couch.
"You smell nice," Yhannie said the moment I sat right beside her.
"What about you? Did you take a shower?" I tried teasing her.
"Of course I did. I just had an exhausting day and the first thing I did when I got home was to take a long and warm shower." She sounded so much proud of herself. "And I finally got hired so!"
"Really?" I reacted. So that's why she's acting a little proud of herself today. She finally got a job. "Congratulations! I guess we'll have to celebrate then!"
"That's why I'm here," She replied.
"Just with these?" I asked, referring to the boxes of pizza and chicken wings that she had brought.
"Oh, of course we're going to party but not tonight," She really thought I wanted to party. I was kind of expecting some other type of food. Pizza and wings are overrated after all.
"Tomorrow night then?" I looked at her, and she looked back at me, and there's like a contract signing that happened.
"Tomorrow night!" I uttered.
I hurriedly opened the box of pizza and chicken wings while Yhannie was busy looking for a movie on Netflix. I started eating a slice of pizza, and by the time I was about to grab a chicken wing, Yhannie has finally found a movie.
"What did you choose?" I asked redirecting my vision towards the television screen.
"It's called Someone Great," She replied.
"Sounds like a generic romance film to me," I shrugged relatively dismissing the film and turned my focus on dipping the chicken wing to my favorite garlic sauce.
"Why are you so grumpy?"
"Hm, I don't know." I spat, almost bored. "Is that the girl from Jane the Virgin?" I asked, pointing at the television screen.
"Yup. It's Gina Rodriguez"
"Okay, she's a good actress."
We ate in absolute silence while watching the film. At first, I wasn't even trying to get serious about watching the film. And it's because I don't want to watch another romantic film when I'm currently on the process of accepting my loss that resulted from my own mistakes. I don't want to get false hope and be back to square one again, so I was trying not to get very much serious. But as we go further into the film, it has captured my focus, and it unexpectedly became something personal to me. It's like the film is speaking to me and I'm listening to every word it's saying. It got my attention perfectly hooked that I wasn't even listening to Yhannie's critical comments about the film. My eyes and ears were glued throughout the entire film, and even though it's very evident that it lacked originality, it still felt so much relatable, at least to me.
"Are you okay, Vince?" Yhannie asked concerned, however, my head was already spacing out to a different dimension that I can't even hear her talking. At that moment, I saw a supercut of my relationship with Keiran. It's like a five-second clip that showed almost everything. "Hey, Vincent! Hey!" Yhannie had to shake my shoulder up in order to pull me back towards the fragments of reality, and that's when I noticed that I was already tearing up.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I blurt out a blatant lie and quickly hid my face away from her as I struggled to wipe my tears.
"I thought it sounded like a generic romance film to you," She let out deliberately reminding me of what I said earlier. Indeed, it was a generic romance film, but I'm going to admit it to myself that it has spoken to me.
"It is generic," I insisted.
"But why are you crying?" Yhannie inquired.
"No, I'm not crying."
"Yes, you are. I've been sitting right here beside you the whole time. You weren't even listening to my comments."
"I wasn't crying. I just teared up."
"What's the difference? Okay, you know what don't answer that." Yhannie spat seemingly vexed. "I'm going to get another bottle of beer. Do you want one?"
"Yes, please." I nodded, and she walked away towards the fridge.
I wiped my eyes using my shirt's hem just to make sure there aren't any tears left unwiped on my face. By the time Yhannie came back with the beer, she had decided to pursue this thing.
"Vincent, I get it." She sat down beside me and handed me my beer. "The film's relatable right?" She muttered, and I almost wondered how did this woman know this stuff. Is she some kind of a clairvoyant witch or something?
"How'd you say so?"
"You were glued to the screen the entire time I was talking. If I was someone else, I would probably call you out for not listening to my comments but I saw the way you paid much attention to the film." She explained.
"Okay fine. The film's relatable." I spat just to make her shut up.
"Vincent, I'm going to be honest with you. I know you're not okay,"
"Yhannie, I'm al r..." I was about to defend myself and tell her I'm doing fine, but she shushed me before I could even finish my sentence.
"Vincent," She held my hand and looked at me with such a calming aura. "I know you're not okay and it's okay not to be okay. I've noticed that you haven't washed your dishes for days, don't worry I washed them for you. I saw some empty boxes of pizza and there were molds starting to grow, don't worry I've disposed them for you. And your hygiene,"
"Yeah," I harrumphed. I'm a bit embarrassed about that.
"I'm here as your friend. I understand that you're going through something but I'm here to remind you that you shouldn't forget to take care of yourself."
"I'm sorry," I began giving up to a decision. I took a long gulp of beer before finally continuing to speak. "I'm just trying my best to accept that me and Keiran aren't really getting back together. And I guess loneliness has taken over me this past week,"
"That's great. You have to start by accepting the fact you two are gone for good. It always starts within you." Yhannie pointed her finger at me.
"And I guess after watching that film, I'm about to close this chapter of my life." It's been a beautiful chapter of my life, and no matter how much I want to keep it open, I don't have no other choice but to close it.
"Do you still have the ring?" She asked, and I almost forgot about that ring.
"Yes, yes. I do." I nodded.
"I think you might have to return that to him."
"Yeah, I should probably return the ring to Keir..."
"Ah ah ah," Yhannie cut me off. "From now on, we should stop calling him by his name."
"Uhm, Okay."
"I'll help you return the ring," Yhannie volunteered. "You don't have to see him though. You should distance yourself away from him."
"Er," I'm not quite entirely sure about her suggestions, but I think I'm going to follow through with it. Who knows what might happen if I laid my eyes on Keiran again. I might lose my shit.
"You're okay with that, right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine with it." I nodded in agreement.
We decided to watch another film, but this time I was in charge of choosing the film we're going to watch. I don't want any more romantic film, so I've selected a horror instead.
"You know what, we should probably head to bed now." Yhannie muttered right after the film ended. "I've had enough of this day. It's about time to take a good night sleep for tomorrow we'll be having a long ass day. We'll be doing a lot of things."
"Do like what?"
"We're going to celebrate of course,"
"Oh, right!"
"And also, we're going to return that ring as well."
"As in tomorrow? For real?"
"Yes. You mentioned to me that the ring is the only connection you have with he who we shouldn't call by his name. The earlier we return that to him, the better you can breathe."
"So we are really calling him he who we shouldn't call by his name huh?" I asked jokingly.
"What's funny with that?"
"Nothing. It's just weird." I replied with a chortle.
On that note, we both finished our beers before parting our ways. She fixed our trash and took it downstairs with her while I retreated to my bed. It might be an early call, but this is the first time that I'm going to bed feeling a lot better than this past few days. The conversation I've had with Yhannie definitely helped with that, and the film we've just watched unexpectedly became a wakeup call that I should definitely close this chapter in my life. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes, and in just a matter of a few minutes, I fell asleep.